Friendship with opposite gender?

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

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Hi,

I was wondering that why is friendship with opposite gender forbidden in Islam? Is it because it can damage one's religious commitment? And lead to sin?

If that is true then why does not Islami frobid friendship with a kaafir?!! That can lead to a bigger sin than zina: shirk, kufr, atheism or something else!

Can someone explain this logic to me in forbidding a friendship with a Muslim of opposite gender while allowing friendship with a kaafir while the biggest damage can be done from kufri ideas of friends.

Thank you.
 
AnonymousGender said:
Hi,

I was wondering that why is friendship with opposite gender forbidden in Islam? Is it because it can damage one's religious commitment? And lead to sin?

If that is true then why does not Islami frobid friendship with a kaafir?!! That can lead to a bigger sin than zina: shirk, kufr, atheism or something else!

Can someone explain this logic to me in forbidding a friendship with a Muslim of opposite gender while allowing friendship with a kaafir while the biggest damage can be done from kufri ideas of friends.

Thank you.
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It does forbid friendship with kaffar, friendship is exculsively reserved for Muslim's. that doesn't mean you can't be kind to non muslim's you must be kind as good manners is apart of our religion. but you can't take them as your friends.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.”


it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let one of you look to whom he takes as a close friend.”


Al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Do not take as a close friend anyone but one whose religious commitment and trustworthiness you are pleased with, for if you take him as a close friend, he will lead you to his religion and madhhab, so do not risk losing your religious commitment and expose yourself to danger by taking as a close friend one whose religious commitment and madhhab you are not pleased with.
 
it seems you have been under the misconeption that Islam allows you to take non muslims as your close allies/friends.
 
Subhan Allah :D

I was just saying on the other thread, that if anyone wanted to know the wisdom of forbidding the relationship or close friendship with the opposite sex, then they should read this thread. Well, here it is: http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134294053-stupid-teenage-dilemma.html

As for the friendship with a kafir, who says that a close friendship with non-muslim is halal?

See the following:

What is the view of Islam towards friendship with followers of different religions

Praise be to Allah; Reply for this question would be the same as the reply to question #23325. In addition, the following should be noted: We should differentiate between good treatment of non-Muslims and befriending them. We should differentiate between establishing a relationship with a non-Muslim for the purpose of da’wah (i.e. teaching him and inviting him to Islam) and befriending him for no valid Islamic purpose. We should differentiate between establishing a relationship with a non-Muslim for trading and/or education reasons and befriending him, as friendship would mean deeper feeling of affection and fondness, comradeship, and being influenced by him.
Islam qa, http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/1204

Also see for details and evidence:

Making friends with non-muslim: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/23325
 
KittenLover said:
It does forbid friendship with kaffar, friendship is exculsively reserved for Muslim's. that doesn't mean you can't be kind to non muslim's you must be kind as good manners is apart of our religion. but you can't take them as your friends.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.”


it was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let one of you look to whom he takes as a close friend.”


Al-Khattaabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Do not take as a close friend anyone but one whose religious commitment and trustworthiness you are pleased with, for if you take him as a close friend, he will lead you to his religion and madhhab, so do not risk losing your religious commitment and expose yourself to danger by taking as a close friend one whose religious commitment and madhhab you are not pleased with.
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Im sorry but i totally DISAGREE with this.

Whats this nonsense about only being able to take in a FRIEND who is muslim?

If i had a choice between being friends with a muslim girl or a 'kaffar' girl, who's to say the muslim girl is going to be a better, moral friend?

Who knows if this muslim girl steals from shops ?

At the end of the day, in my eyes, if theyre a good person, you can be their friend.

Why NOT be friends with someone because of what they may impose on you? No one can make you do anything but yourself.

THIS WHOLE DIVIDE OF MUSLIM / KAFFAR STUFF HAS TO STOP. WHY IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE TOGETHER?
 
transition? said:
:sl:

An amazing lecture on the nature of man and woman, which Islam deals with through its anti-freemixing take


Boys & Girls: A Love Story - Abu Esa Niamtullah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7rAp5OHQGQ&feature=related
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jazakAllah. But can you please provide a lecture on mixing with the kufaar? I have seen many Muslims become ex-Muslims because they mixed with kufaar and got impressed by their ideology and become atheists. Is not becoming an atheist a bigger sin than committing zina? :hmm:
 
Samkurd said:
Im sorry but i totally DISAGREE with this.

Whats this nonsense about only being able to take in a FRIEND who is muslim?

If i had a choice between being friends with a muslim girl or a 'kaffar' girl, who's to say the muslim girl is going to be a better, moral friend?

Who knows if this muslim girl steals from shops ?

At the end of the day, in my eyes, if theyre a good person, you can be their friend.

Why NOT be friends with someone because of what they may impose on you? No one can make you do anything but yourself.

THIS WHOLE DIVIDE OF MUSLIM / KAFFAR STUFF HAS TO STOP. WHY IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE TOGETHER?
Click to expand...


:sl:

Islam is not for our personal opinions. Can you please provide us with some evidence ?
 
AnonymousGender said:
jazakAllah. But can you please provide a lecture on mixing with the kufaar? I have seen many Muslims become ex-Muslims because they mixed with kufaar and got impressed by their ideology and become atheists. Is not becoming an atheist a bigger sin than committing zina? :hmm:
Click to expand...

I believe Sampharo's post does an accurate job conveying our relationship with the kuffar.

Zina is a sin, a major sin but still forgiveable. In comparison to denying Allah (swt) and rejecting Islam as a reality, it is nothing. Apostating and becoming a kaffir causes a person to not only leave the folds of Islam, but for them is the ultimate humilation - the fiery depths of Hellfire for all eternity!

You see that many apostates had a clear understanding of Islam in the first place. There is general lack of knowledge of Muslims around the world, and surely it is these same people who are oblivious to our enemies agendas to destroy Islam. So if you add a person of little knowledge and faith/imaan into a deluded world led by the fascination of Western thoughts, they will be fooled. A true Muslim with real faith and understanding would know the superiority of a way of life that governs social, political and economic aspects ordained by Allah The Most Supreme would be superior to any man-made ideologies and systems.
 
Sorry but where is the logic ? Islam allows men to marry Christian and Jewish women, but at the same time, it forbids friendship with non muslims ? How can that be ?
Muslims ought to have a stronger faith, they shall befriend and bring kuffar to Islam and not the opposite ;)
 
transition? said:
:sl:

Islam is not for our personal opinions. Can you please provide us with some evidence ?
Click to expand...


I have many many friends who are girls who are not muslim yet theyre perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

I have lots of muslim friends who are girls who are perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

Ive had a muslim friend who actually stole from my house every time she came over.

Ive had kaffar friends who tell me to have a beer but i know what to say.

My point is you cant put people into groups of who will be a moral friend and who wont just because they are labeled as a muslim.

Its not like if i say "im a muslim" im suddenly a kind and loving person who wishes to never do any evil.

You have to take into account the persons background, their behaviour, who they hang out with.. theres so many factors as to what makes a good friend a good friend, and it cant solely be based on religion.

You cant tell me all muslims are going to be better than all the kaffars.

So like i said, i believe at the end of the day if the person is a good hearted person, go ahead and be friends.
 
Samkurd said:
Im sorry but i totally DISAGREE with this.

Whats this nonsense about only being able to take in a FRIEND who is muslim?

If i had a choice between being friends with a muslim girl or a 'kaffar' girl, who's to say the muslim girl is going to be a better, moral friend?

Who knows if this muslim girl steals from shops ?

At the end of the day, in my eyes, if theyre a good person, you can be their friend.

Why NOT be friends with someone because of what they may impose on you? No one can make you do anything but yourself.

THIS WHOLE DIVIDE OF MUSLIM / KAFFAR STUFF HAS TO STOP. WHY IS IT SO IMPOSSIBLE TO LIVE TOGETHER?
Click to expand...

whether you agree or not is irrelevant, I simply posted what the prophet pbuh said. You can disagree with me all day long if you want but do you disagree with the prophet pbuh when he said

“Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 2/314; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7341).

We do not mean, however, that this Muslim woman should cut herself off completely from the kaafir woman; she may visit with her, visit her when she is sick and give her gifts, but without forming an emotional attachment or joining in their festivals and celebrations. And the Muslim woman should aim, in those visits and gift-giving, to call this kaafir woman to Islam. This is what our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, as is mentioned in two hadeeths.

For the rest go to the links in brother Sampharo's post, Islam is based upon evidence, we don't base our religion upon our personal opinions.
 
I guess i would be the kaffar that one would reffer to:embarrass.

I have many, very good Muslim friends. I play football (soccer) on thursday after noons with a group of Somali Muslim's. Besides them having to stop for a short time to pray...we get allong great! A couple of them will have me over for dinner.....i wonder why that stopped?.....probably because i eat to much:embarrass....funny though...they are always ready to run over to my house if i say my wife made samosas?

I have a neighbor, who is a Muslimah whom spends allot of time with my wife, and my wife is Christian.

I have an employee whom is Muslim. We talk alllllll day....his office is next to mine...and i am always bugging him.

I never try to convert them? Nor do they try to convert me....well sometimes. BUt with all of my Mulsim friends, we have a comman understanding on where we stand in faith.

So are they just tollerating me? They are all extremelly nice and we all send time with each others families on a regular basis. I even watch Mohommed's (my Muslim empoyee) kids....well.....my wife does most of the watching.:embarrass

Zainab (my wifes best friend) is always bringing over food she prepared? But i saw it said you cannot share food with me?......I'm gonna starve:skeleton:

I can't really explain why we are around so many Muslims. I would guess because of my culture , my wifes culture, and other friends and family cultures I am mostly exposed to, are mainly Muslim.

God be with you.
 
all 'friendships' with the opposite gender are haraam unless you're their mahram,

friendships with kuffar have limits
 
Samkurd said:
I have many many friends who are girls who are not muslim yet theyre perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

I have lots of muslim friends who are girls who are perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

Ive had a muslim friend who actually stole from my house every time she came over.

Ive had kaffar friends who tell me to have a beer but i know what to say.

My point is you cant put people into groups of who will be a moral friend and who wont just because they are labeled as a muslim.

Its not like if i say "im a muslim" im suddenly a kind and loving person who wishes to never do any evil.

You have to take into account the persons background, their behaviour, who they hang out with.. theres so many factors as to what makes a good friend a good friend, and it cant solely be based on religion.

You cant tell me all muslims are going to be better than all the kaffars.

So like i said, i believe at the end of the day if the person is a good hearted person, go ahead and be friends.
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Ok lets make a ruling in Islam from your personal experiences then, :)

the entire ummah can ignore the advice of the scholars because of your personal experiences in life. is that what you would like? for us to ignore the advice of the prophet pbuh and take your personal experiences as rulings for this religion?

I think you're under the impression that we're saying

"you should be nasty to non muslim's, you should not even greet them or talk to them, you should completely hate them and ignore them"

no 1 is saying that. I think the confusion comes in the definition of "friend"
 
Italianguy said:
I guess i would be the kaffar that one would reffer to:embarrass.

I have many, very good Muslim friends. I play football (soccer) on thursday after noons with a group of Somali Muslim's. Besides them having to stop for a short time to pray...we get allong great! A couple of them will have me over for dinner.....i wonder why that stopped?.....probably because i eat to much:embarrass....funny though...they are always ready to run over to my house if i say my wife made samosas?

I have a neighbor, who is a Muslimah whom spends allot of time with my wife, and my wife is Christian.

I have an employee whom is Muslim. We talk alllllll day....his office is next to mine...and i am always bugging him.

I never try to convert them? Nor do they try to convert me....well sometimes. BUt with all of my Mulsim friends, we have a comman understanding on where we stand in faith.

So are they just tollerating me? They are all extremelly nice and we all send time with each others families on a regular basis. I even watch Mohommed's (my Muslim empoyee) kids....well.....my wife does most of the watching.:embarrass

Zainab (my wifes best friend) is always bringing over food she prepared? But i saw it said you cannot share food with me?......I'm gonna starve:skeleton:

I can't really explain why we are around so many Muslims. I would guess because of my culture , my wifes culture, and other friends and family cultures I am mostly exposed to, are mainly Muslim.

God be with you.
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My point exactly, if we are sure not to fall in zina, haram, apostasy or whatever, then what is the problem ? On the contrary, pious muslims will endeavour to convert kuffar to Islam :)
 
Musliman said:
My point exactly, if we are sure not to fall in zina, haram, apostasy or whatever, then what is the problem ? On the contrary, pious muslims will endeavour to convert kuffar to Islam :)
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But how can we be sure we will not do a sin? there's people who make friendships with girls and they say to themselves "we won't ever let zina happen" then eventually after shaytaan does his whispering they fall into this sin.

no 1 plans to fall into these sins they happen cos of being relaxed when it comes to the laws of Islam. Do you think a person who makes friends with a non muslim and as a result apostates planned to apostate at the start? obviously not he said to himself "if I'm sure i'm not going to apostate by being his friend it's ok" a few monthers later he apostates.

the point I'm trying to make is you yourself can never be sure you're not going to fall into a sin.

you might make friends with a girl and say to yourself I'm never gonna do zinna and a few months down the line you find yourself doing zina but at the start you said to yourself "I'm sure I will never do zina with this girl so what is the problem in being her friend"
 
Samkurd said:
I have many many friends who are girls who are not muslim yet theyre perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

haraam, wakeup or you'll regret it when you end up commiting zina with them, its that easy in this age

I have lots of muslim friends who are girls who are perfectly fine, fun, loving and loyal friends.

don't reveal your sins

Ive had a muslim friend who actually stole from my house every time she came over.

What was she doing in your house in the first place? Again don't reveal your sins, its suprising your parents even allowed her in. And are you trying to say muslims are worse than kuffar?

Ive had kaffar friends who tell me to have a beer but i know what to say.

So?

My point is you cant put people into groups of who will be a moral friend and who wont just because they are labeled as a muslim.

Its not like if i say "im a muslim" im suddenly a kind and loving person who wishes to never do any evil.

No you're actually supposed to choose good muslims as friends, not just anyone that could act as a bad influence

You have to take into account the persons background, their behaviour, who they hang out with.. theres so many factors as to what makes a good friend a good friend, and it cant solely be based on religion.

True but prioritise friendships with good muslims, cause they will benefit you more

You cant tell me all muslims are going to be better than all the kaffars.

Islamically that is true, the worst muslim is better than the best kuffar, just because of that belief he has.

So like i said, i believe at the end of the day if the person is a good hearted person, go ahead and be friends.

Within limits set by islam brother, you're already making a huge mistake by keeping friendships with the opposite gender
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Don't promote you're unislamic beliefs, keep them to yourself
 

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