Friendship with opposite gender?

AnonymousGender said:
I was wondering that why is friendship with opposite gender forbidden in Islam? Is it because it can damage one's religious commitment? And lead to sin?
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Which friendship ?.
There is no prohibition to have friends from opposite gender, like in the school, in organization, in your community. But of course, there is a limit of this friendship. You can ask the scholar about this limit.
If that is true then why does not Islami frobid friendship with a kaafir?!! That can lead to a bigger sin than zina: shirk, kufr, atheism or something else!
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Islam does not forbids friendship with non-Muslim who does not something wrong with us, like fight us or try to lead us to leave Islam.

My non-Muslim friends never committed zina because zina is big a sin in their faiths. They drink alcohol because they are allowed to drink it but they never drink alcohol when they with me.

My non-Muslim friends are non-Muslim who respect to Islam/Muslims, that's why they are still my friends until now.
 
Very true.

Having a friend and/or acquaintance is one thing. Touching them and being alone with them if they are of the opposite gender is a major no no.

If your friend is offended, tell them to build a bridge and get over it!
 
barney said:
I've heard but dunno if I'm correct that to have thoughts about doing this is also a sin?
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Erm, thats a tough one. Thoughts I feel like are sometimes accidental. You can find yourself thinking a bad thought but if you catch yourself and you stop yourself than I believe Allah swt is Merciful and will forgive us for our shortcomings.
 
AlbanianMuslim said:
You think that zina is the only bad thing that could happen? Touching, hugging, kissing on the cheek, cuddling...all those are sinful if done with someone other than a spouse or blood relation. It doesnt matter if you are hugging them because theyre your friend. They should not be allowed and it isnt allowed in Islam. Human weakness is a fact of life, you may think you are immune to committing sin with someone of the opposite gender but whose to say that tomorrow some you are exceptionally attracted to is able to manipulate you into committing sin? You never know what will happen, best not to tempt fate.
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Fair enough. but then friendship with an atheist can lead one to atheism too. Friendship with a a deist can lead one to deism ... why just forbid friendship with opposite gender but not with a kufaar ... I see so many Muslims who hang out with kufaar yet if they see me talking to opposite gender their response is "7araaaam" :(
 
AnonymousGender said:
Fair enough. but then friendship with an atheist can lead one to atheism too. Friendship with a a deist can lead one to deism ... why just forbid friendship with opposite gender but not with a kufaar ... I see so many Muslims who hang out with kufaar yet if they see me talking to opposite gender their response is "7araaaam" :(
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I guess that all depends on your own strength in faith. If one is weak in his or her faith, it would be in their best interest only to ascociate themselves with like minded folk. If you are strong in your faith it may be easier to befriend one of another faith because you have knowledge of who your God is and He knows what is in your heart. ...I could be wrong...I usually am:hmm:
 
AnonymousGender said:
Fair enough. but then friendship with an atheist can lead one to atheism too. Friendship with a a deist can lead one to deism ... why just forbid friendship with opposite gender but not with a kufaar ... I see so many Muslims who hang out with kufaar yet if they see me talking to opposite gender their response is "7araaaam" :(
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That is different.

A friend influencing your MIND is different from a friend influencing your BODY.
The body is made to function in certain ways from certain kinds of stimulation, whether it is food or physical touching.

You can control your mind, and you use your mind to control your body right? Well if your mind lets you spend time with someone of the opposite gender REGARDLESS of whether or not they are of the same faith puts you at risk for reacting physically to any sort of stimulation.
The mind is weak, but the body is weaker. Something might FEEL good and cloud your better judgement.

Like I said, best not to tempt fate...is friendship with the opposite gender REALLY that important? I mean, I had some great friends before I became more religious, after I turned into a "cold heart you know what" who didnt touch them or go anywhere they turned their backs on me and good riddance! Im so much better off without them. :shade:
 
Faith is usually pretty resilient, i know, I've talked with enough theists! If befreinding an atheist converted people then we would be seeing the world becoming a very secular place and thats not whats happening. When religion is thrown into the mix in freindships across faiths its usually a case of, "lets talk about something else!"

Regardless,I think it's one of those things really where you have to say, never mind how it works, just do what is instructed and you dont need to know the reasons why!
 
I believe it has something to do with the fact that you may be influenced by these non Muslims. Yes, I have many non Muslim friends, and generally they are fine and well behaved, although they do commit sin, drinking, courting, backbiting etc.

But I am even closer to Muslim friends, therefore I am constantly reminded to be at the best of behaviour (should be anyway).

So if you are going to be influenced and start doing things that non Muslims do, then no, you should not keep them as friends. But if you are not influenced by them, and you invite them to Islam and deliver the message, then yes, there is no reason why you should not befriend them, or so I feel. Insha'Allah we will be guided, and shall be united. Allah knows best.
 
Nokiacrazi said:
I believe it has something to do with the fact that you may be influenced by these non Muslims. Yes, I have many non Muslim friends, and generally they are fine and well behaved, although they do commit sin, drinking, courting, backbiting etc.

But I am even closer to Muslim friends, therefore I am constantly reminded to be at the best of behaviour (should be anyway).

So if you are going to be influenced and start doing things that non Muslims do, then no, you should not keep them as friends. But if you are not influenced by them, and you invite them to Islam and deliver the message, then yes, there is no reason why you should not befriend them, or so I feel. Insha'Allah we will be guided, and shall be united. Allah knows best.
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I share your sentiments.

As for me, I have friends from other faiths and race - I don't have a problem with that, neither do my parents. In fact, over here it is encouraged to be friends with people from different religion and race, as long as you know where to draw the line.

I have friends from other religion that is interested in Islam and have asked many Qs and thus far, they have been respectful and even two of them are converting. Will I say it's my influence? No, of course not.

I don't see anything wrong and I don't know why some people make such a big deal about it. I know whatever it is, Allah knows best and if anything, I'll be punish and no one else.
 
:sl:
I've seen far more disrespectful posts and members are still around. Just because one is pretty new so it makes her or him unreliable? Just because he or she does not provide a sunnah or verse from the Quran?

And I thought this is a place for people to learn.

By all means, if this is how it is going to be ... disable my account.
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S<chowdary quoted from the rules of this site.

There is no absolute freedom of speech here. Meaning, people can't come and say anti-Islamic stuff and have it allowed under the banner of freedom of speech. In the same manner, spreading misleading views is not allowed either.

This is nothing against new members. However, our faith is based upon two primary sources: Quran and hadith. If you have people speaking from their own opinion, then they are not really following Islam, are they? They are likely to spread their misguidance to other people too.

If a muslim comes and says 'alcohol doesn't make me go drunk, I don't believe it should be forbidden'. Does that make it ok? No. We go to the sources of Islam to really see if it is allowed or not and without a doubt, it is impermissible.

With regards to the intermingling with the opposite gender, it is clear where Islam stands. We're not allowed. Anyone who says otherwise, is not being true to what his religion says. He has corrupted his belief. There is no proof of his position. Therefore, you get these calls for 'bring your proof'.

Remember, we believe in Allah, then we follow what he tells us. We don't apply our whims and opinions on deen related stuff. It's irrational to say we are muslims, yet don't really follow what the two primary sources of Islam tell us.
 
SweetCherryPie said:
Forgive me for not being as pious as all of you. My bad.
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Sister, this is not an issue of piety.

Everybody sins and noboy is perfect.

The issue is rather of belief itself. If you claim to believe in Islam, you cannot disregard certain aspects just because your opinion tells you otherwise. You believe in it all and anything else that goes against Islam, you throw away. Not the other way round. If you do that, then you're not being true to your faith.

If you believed 1+2 = 3 and if somewhere down the line you started believing 2 has a value of 8 instead, wouldn't you say that was misguided?

In the same way, if you accept that Allah is real and the message he sent the Prophet Muhammd SAW is real, then you accept that the Quran and Hadiths are our primary source of legislation in Islam. If you then come and say that your opinions override what is in the Quran/hadith, isn't that misguided?
 
Excuse me? Where did I say that my opinions over-ride that of what is stated in Quran?

I merely stated my opinion as to what I think it is, I did not disregard what is said in Quran. I respect everyone's posts as much as I expect people to respect mine - regardless if you agree or not. That is all.

It's a bit of a shame when people try to shove their beliefs down other people's throats rather than to say it succinctly or nicely to make those who are not that religious enough or up to your (speaking generally here) standard (who are here to learn) to understand better. It doesn't help at all for a few members here to act all mighty and for saying they are disgusted at how some people see things.
 
Excuse me? Where did I say that my opinions over-ride that of what is stated in Quran?
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Sorry, that was the general 'you'. I didn't mean to aim it specifically at you. I wasn't saying you over-ride what is stated in Quran and Hadith yourself.

However, you agreed to some of samkurd's points, which as nice as they sound, do not entirely concur with what Islam says. Therefore, the address to you. You need to evaluate what you see people write of their own opinion with regards to religious matters and not be so quick to accept, unless it is proven to have its origin in what the two primary sources say or has been acknowledged by leading trustworthy scholars of the past.

It doesn't help at all for a few members here to act all mighty and for saying they are disgusted at how some people see things.
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I wasn't being high and mighty. I don't believe I have been disrespectful here either.
 
I want to just say something about the non muslim friends part.

I don't know why but i never felt secured with christians here in leb. They think they are the top of the food chaine but when i'm with them i speak their language fluently and sharply.

Here in leb Christians will like you only if you live by their life style. Go clubbing drinking get drunk Oh what a nice life, and even attend their christian celebrations. Many muslims do it over here just to show them "Oh look at me i'm open minded" Oh i wanna have fun lets dance. But they will stab you in the back be sure of that.

And if you show them that your 1% muslim in the heart they will give this evil look behind your back.

But sure there is an exception about christians those who understand you . Like if you visit them in their house they wont be displaying bottles of alcohol or they won't eat in front of you if you are fasting i mean the respectful type. This type of christians is So rare to find. Some of the good christians in leb admit it.

Btw Syrian christians are really nice people .


So don't compromise in friendship don't be an easy to get person just cos you think happy life styles are there with them. Be a stone headed person and don't worry about all this unneeded social business it will only drag you down . Cause if you have a little bit of islam inside you then you will find yourself in a low mood as you see how you are killing this bit of islam by following the uprising trend of modern living. And when you lose this bit, know that you are a looser. Its simple you lost something inside but they lost nothing cos its their life already.

Anyways mutual respect is what anyone needs in friendship with non muslims but No one needs to compromise .
 
AnonymousGender said:
JazakAllah to all Muslims who took time to clarify my ignorance. I was asking this because I've seen Muslims who will tell you "dont make friendship with opposite gender" but then they make friendship with kufaar and hang out with them. If the reason for not making friendship or hanging out with opposite gender is that it can let us to commit sin then we have to be careful with even Kaafir friends! Their gatherings can influence us!

I was watching a video by Noman Ali Kham (Quranic student of knowledge), and he said that he was born as a Muslim but he became atheist because of the company of atheists he had. Then he came back to Islam.

So this means one cannot make friendship with kaaafirs or hang out with them or play ps3 with them or something of that sort.
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hummm it seems like you are confusing yourself.. theres loads of vids on youtube about this...you cannot be friends with a disbeliever if you feel your imaan is in danger so if you feel that your imaan can be harmed then you should reframe immediately from keeping the company of disbelievers this has been agreed upon by numerous scholars
 
AnonymousGender said:
Fair enough. but then friendship with an atheist can lead one to atheism too. Friendship with a a deist can lead one to deism ... why just forbid friendship with opposite gender but not with a kufaar ... I see so many Muslims who hang out with kufaar yet if they see me talking to opposite gender their response is "7araaaam" :(
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of course its haraam to hang out with the opposite gender sister. women and men were not created to be ''friends'' with each other

The only reason why some men want to be in the company of women is just for one thing and that one thing is on ALL OF THERE MINDS 24/7:)

sister don't fool yourself in to thinking that just because a man wants to be friends with you so it means because he respects you.. no its actually the very opposite.

okay lets just give u an example as to why its dangerous.. what if that ''friend'' tried it on with you or forced himself on you when both of yous are alone?

another example what if you started to develop feelings for him and an emotional attachment and ended up committing zina?

Theres loads of threads here and it has happened where the woman or man always ends up having feelings for each other in the end.

A woman and a man are never alone together but that shayytan is there third.

Shayytan is always there when ever a man and a woman are alone together putting temptations and desires in to there hearts and one thing always leads to another

so sister never be fooled in to thinking that this is okay and nothing is going to happen.. not only that but you are doing other sins by inviting this guy in to your company and showing off your beauty to him

Constantly tempting him to do haraam things with you.

Your heart might be clear but still you would be held accountable for it because you are inviting evil.

Okay well i hope i said enough to convince you that this type of mingling is not save.
:wa:
 
From my observation, there is difference between Hijabi sisters and Niqabi sisters.

Niqabi sisters never talk with non-mahram men.
 
I almost got lost of my Iman while hanging out with them xtians,i was exposed to all sort of zina.If not for almighty Allah,i was almost astray.they know they r already lost,so they need companies.pls be aware.
 

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