From the day of knowledge until the day of marriage

[Artic090]

I think my dream is over.

I would like to know, as far as I am concerned only for cultural purposes, how I could achieve this my dream.

I would like to know a little more about the sentimental aspect.
How does the knowledge between two people that can lead them to marriage work in Islam culture?

Put in my shoes: I am Italian who wanted converting to Islam and would like d to meet a Muslim girl. Where should it start? How to approach?

If you can, make me some example, some witness about you and your partners (if you are married or you are going to be...)

Thanks a lot brothers and sisters,

Allah Hafiz.

 

[Misbah-Abd]

I am an Italian/Irish revert. I must say from my experience, that it isn't easy for revert men to find Muslim women to marry. There is a lot of trepidation from other ethnic groups that insist that the potential suitor be of their own ethnic group, culture and even the same school of thought. I met my current wife on an Islamic marriage website. She is Indian from Trinidad but was raised here in the U.S. So culturally we were same. Her family was not religious with some family members Muslim in name only and others apostated, and Allah's refuge is sought from that. So her family didn't have any problems with her decision to marry me. We are happily married, Al-Hamdulilah.

 

[your_ukht]

I think my dream is over.

I would like to know, as far as I am concerned only for cultural purposes, how I could achieve this my dream.

I would like to know a little more about the sentimental aspect.
How does the knowledge between two people that can lead them to marriage work in Islam culture?

Put in my shoes: I am Italian who wanted converting to Islam and would like d to meet a Muslim girl. Where should it start? How to approach?

If you can, make me some example, some witness about you and your partners (if you are married or you are going to be...)

Thanks a lot brothers and sisters,

Allah Hafiz.

Peace be upon you

Are you a Christian interested in Islam ?

 

[ahmed nabi]

First thing should be first. Are you Muslim. If Yes, then we can guide you a little about Marriage in Islam

http://www.fahmeilmoamal.org/

 

[cinnamonrolls1]

Try online sites, or maybe another fellow convert?

 

[your_ukht]

Brother [MENTION=42465]Artic090[/MENTION] I know of a revert sister from Italy as well

 

[Misbah-Abd]

Brother @Artic090 I know of a revert sister from Italy as well

He is not a Muslim yet so....

 

[Artic090]

Peace be upon you

Are you a Christian interested in Islam ?

Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

 

[your_ukht]

Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

Don't listen to what people say.

Check it for yourself by reading the Qur'an.

That's my advice. Now you can choose what's best for you. No one is forcing

 

[Artic090]

Peace be upon you

Are you a Christian interested in Islam ?

Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

 

[Misbah-Abd]

Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

It's the world and the allies of shaytan who will do anything not to let another misguided soul come to the Truth. You have to think for yourself for a moment and not let others scare you. Before I was a Muslim, I was an atheist, with family members who were born again Christian, Catholic and Atheist. You have to open your heart to the Truth and be open minded and Insha-Allah, He will bless you with Guidance that will be prepare you for success in the eternal Hereafter.

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Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

It's the world and the allies of shaytan who will do anything not to let another misguided soul come to the Truth. You have to think for yourself for a moment and not let others scare you. Before I was a Muslim, I was an atheist, with family members who were born again Christian, Catholic and Atheist. You have to open your heart to the Truth and be open minded and Insha-Allah, He will bless you with Guidance that will be prepare you for success in the eternal Hereafter.

 

[Artic090]

I wanted know how is working marriage in Islam, just it.
I dont think Allah has got this project for me, because im looking for something of pure, and like someone told me, "The purity you are looking for doesnt exist in this world".
I've read Al-Quran, and when i've read it i thought "Islam is the world which i have always dreamed".
But some people advised me, i lost all my hopes, there isnt space in this world for boys like me.

And now, can you explain how is going to born a marriage? To go out with females is haram, right? So, how can a boy know a girl? How can he know if her the right girl?

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I wanted know how is working marriage in Islam, just it.
I dont think Allah has got this project for me, because im looking for something of pure, and like someone told me, "The purity you are looking for doesnt exist in this world".
I've read Al-Quran, and when i've read it i thought "Islam is the world which i have always dreamed".
But some people advised me, i lost all my hopes, there isnt space in this world for boys like me.

And now, can you explain how is going to born a marriage? To go out with females is haram, right? So, how can a boy know a girl? How can he know if her the right girl?

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

I'm not sure I'm understanding you correctly. Honestly, the Pakistani girl with whom you were conversing did not paint an accurate picture; you know this too as others also similarly validated that opinion on that thread. There are tons of Muslim women who are virgin and waiting for marriage; just because of one conversation with this Pakistani girl, you cannot assume that other girls are not virgin either. That would be a very sinful assumption to make.

More importantly, if you are a virgin man, I can see why you'd want a person also who is a virgin. That does not, however, mean that you become dejected and expect that you'll never find a Muslim virgin woman. This is not logical.

No one is telling you that you should give up on your desire to marry a virgin Muslim woman, but people were in the other thread only informing you of the reality that some Muslim women are not virgins (because they too have succumbed to the wider culture of hedonistic fulfillment of desires). That does not mean, however, that you should feel Islam is not for you because some women are like that. What if I had the same mentality as you and decided to never again drive a car because some accidents happen on the road? What if I decided to not go out and meet any person because some people are rude in life? What if I decided that I'm not going to eat any food because some foods are unhealthy? Does that seem like a sensible approach to you?

Instead, if you want to marry a Muslim virgin woman, first convert for the sake of Allah into Islam and then ask Allah to bless you with a chaste virgin spouse. That would be a healthier approach to this business of marriage than the current manner in which you're proceeding in which sometimes you're excited and other times hopeless. There so many avenues also to find a chaste virgin spouse that are available to you: online and in real life. On an online Muslim matrimonial site, you can clearly say, "I'm 27 years old and recently reverted to Islam because I was impressed with Islamic stance on morality and chastity. As someone who values traditionalism, I want to marry a Muslim woman who also holds similar values. I understand that Allah forgives all sins, but I'm looking for someone who's not entered into any premarital relationships as that is something very important to me as a person who wants to build a life with a person who has like me waited for the right person. Thank you." You of course do not have to write those exact words, but they can be a starting point for you to reword in a manner that reflects your goals and aspirations in marriage and personality.

In real life, the way that you're supposed to approach a Muslim woman is through her wali (custodian/guardian/elder). However, as a recent revert, you're unlikely to be familiar enough with the Muslim community to accomplish that with immediate success. Therefore, you should go to the mosque and make efforts to make Muslim male friends and ask them if they know someone suitable who meets your criteria (chaste, good Muslim woman) and go from there as they might be able to better assist you in your quest. You can also try to put the word out to the Imam that you're looking to marry a woman of high character and request for him to direct you to a girl who's suitable and then approach her family in a respectful manner about getting married. You are correct: In Islam, dating is not allowed. But you're allowed a halal courtship which includes talking to her within calling/hearing distance of her family and asking her questions and learning if this is someone with whom you can envision spending the rest of your life.

When you go talk to a girl for the purpose of marriage, you should, after trying to make things as least awkward as possible, strive to share relevant information about yourself and try asking her questions which you know would enable you to gauge whether she would make a great Islamic marital partner. Questions like the following are a good way to see how she is: What do you when you become angry? What things would you find deal-breaker in a prospect? Also, sometime during the conversation, you should be sure to insert your preference tidbit (since this is important to you): "I have always believed in waiting for the right person in marriage before engaging in any physical intimacy. And I want to marry someone who is the same and holds the same values; since this is important to me, I hope that anyone who's not been able to do so rejects me as a proposal and prospect because I feel that I would in that case not be the best person for that person to marry as I'm looking for someone who fits into that descriptor." And if the girl is reasonable, which most women in her position would be, she would either move forward with you if she likes you as a person also (if she also meets your descriptor) or she would reject you if she feels she did not fit your descriptor; this way, if the girl does not fit your descriptor, she can feel free to reject you without trying to awkwardly and insensibly explain to you her past or disclose her sins as Islam asks Muslims to not disclose their sins to anyone except Allah.

Again, I emphasize no one is saying your request is unreasonable. There are women who also wait, and to be honest, more women than men wait for marriage before engaging in intimacy regardless of religious affiliation. So, you do not need to feel dejected and feel that Islam cannot provide you what you need, because Islam is meant for all humankind. And if Islam had not been able to provide spiritual or emotional or mental satisfaction, then there would have been likelyno converts to the religion at all. There is something in Islam for everyone. Everyone.

Brother, I wish you'd convert already rather than asking questions in a manner that shows you do not trust Allah. Because if you do not trust Allah to provide you what you need, then indeed no human being on earth has any power to help you as we're all under the Power of Allah. The Supreme Power is only Allah, and it is in Whom you need to place your trust and move forward with converting to Islam and then you can think about these matters in-depth. Otherwise, you're only driving yourself in circles and moving aimlessly pondering on the what-ifs, maybes, and bad scenarios born of wild imagination. Allah is Supreme. If you have a specific request, ask Him. Allah created you and the entire universe; to grant you your wish is not too big a matter for Allah; rather, even if He granted everyone everything from that which they wished, it would not lessen His kingdom or dominion.

SO, TRUST ALLAH.

Peace.

I wanted know how is working marriage in Islam, just it.
I dont think Allah has got this project for me, because im looking for something of pure, and like someone told me, "The purity you are looking for doesnt exist in this world".
I've read Al-Quran, and when i've read it i thought "Islam is the world which i have always dreamed".
But some people advised me, i lost all my hopes, there isnt space in this world for boys like me.

And now, can you explain how is going to born a marriage? To go out with females is haram, right? So, how can a boy know a girl? How can he know if her the right girl?

- - - Updated - - -

I wanted know how is working marriage in Islam, just it.
I dont think Allah has got this project for me, because im looking for something of pure, and like someone told me, "The purity you are looking for doesnt exist in this world".
I've read Al-Quran, and when i've read it i thought "Islam is the world which i have always dreamed".
But some people advised me, i lost all my hopes, there isnt space in this world for boys like me.

And now, can you explain how is going to born a marriage? To go out with females is haram, right? So, how can a boy know a girl? How can he know if her the right girl?

 

[Artic090]

It's the world and the allies of shaytan who will do anything not to let another misguided soul come to the Truth. You have to think for yourself for a moment and not let others scare you. Before I was a Muslim, I was an atheist, with family members who were born again Christian, Catholic and Atheist. You have to open your heart to the Truth and be open minded and Insha-Allah, He will bless you with Guidance that will be prepare you for success in the eternal Hereafter.

- - - Updated - - -



It's the world and the allies of shaytan who will do anything not to let another misguided soul come to the Truth. You have to think for yourself for a moment and not let others scare you. Before I was a Muslim, I was an atheist, with family members who were born again Christian, Catholic and Atheist. You have to open your heart to the Truth and be open minded and Insha-Allah, He will bless you with Guidance that will be prepare you for success in the eternal Hereafter.

I had found a way to drive the devil out of my life, simply moving away from Western society based on appearance and superficiality. I fell in love with Islam for its purity, but also for the discipline. I have always had an Islamic way of life (no smoking, no sex, no alcohol, volunteering) and this is why western modern society has always marginalized me, especially by italian girls who love the "bad boys".
I also visited a psychologist to know what was wrong with me, since I had begun to suffer from depression. And guess, according to the psychologist, the problem is me that I can not adapt myself in the modern world, I have to accept the fact of having a woman with sexual experiences and has proposed to start a therapeutic path. I refused.

I have already repeated it several times: Islam would have saved me, It would has finally made me a happy man by giving me a woman to marry. Here, only this I have always asked God, only this.

And then I wonder why God, rather than approaching the truth (I'm looking for the truth for 28 years now), I move away more and more. I spent 28 years to understand what the right way was, He should come to meet me consecrating my path ... but I'm falling back into obscurity.

I dreamed of being able to recite the Qur'an in front of the father of my future bride, as the boy had done in front of the Prophet Mohammed* for to have the consent by him a young girl.

 

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

I still don't understand the issue, brother: Are you afraid of converting? Or are you afraid you won't find someone compatible that also fits your criteria after converting? If you're afraid, only you can help yourself through your fears with placing your trust in Allah.

Also, if you're unsure or uncertain about your steps in life or on this path, then you should ask guidance from Allah. There is nothing better to advise you than the aforesaid.

Peace.

Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,

I had found a way to drive the devil out of my life, simply moving away from Western society based on appearance and superficiality. I fell in love with Islam for its purity, but also for the discipline. I have always had an Islamic way of life (no smoking, no sex, no alcohol, volunteering) and this is why western modern society has always marginalized me, especially by italian girls who love the "bad boys".
I also visited a psychologist to know what was wrong with me, since I had begun to suffer from depression. And guess, according to the psychologist, the problem is me that I can not adapt myself in the modern world, I have to accept the fact of having a woman with sexual experiences and has proposed to start a therapeutic path. I refused.

I have already repeated it several times: Islam would have saved me, It would has finally made me a happy man by giving me a woman to marry. Here, only this I have always asked God, only this.

And then I wonder why God, rather than approaching the truth (I'm looking for the truth for 28 years now), I move away more and more. I spent 28 years to understand what the right way was, He should come to meet me consecrating my path ... but I'm falling back into obscurity.

I dreamed of being able to recite the Qur'an in front of the father of my future bride, as the boy had done in front of the Prophet Mohammed* for to have the consent by him a young girl.

 

[Artic090]

Dear Search,
thank you for your answer! I really appreciated it!

In theory what you say is perfect, simply perfect. But in practice, in reality, everything can be different.

The fear of being cheated is so big for me

I told you about the Pakistani Muslim girl I met online. Here, she at first told me she was not a virgin anymore because she had been raped (but in that case, a girl is still absolutely pure and innocent).

He told me that he had a boyfriend at 16 but that she had not crossed the limits. It may happen, maybe at these ages, to have a little flirtation with a boy, maybe these innocent and chaste engagements like we see in Disney cartoon ... On the other hand Pakistan is a very severe country, the parents of the girls are very protective, what can a do "of dirty" an innocent couple of teenagers in a Islamic state?

I started to get suspicious when she said such direct and ruthless phrases like "The purity you are looking for does not exist in this world, you will never have a virgin girl because you too old, all Muslim girls have a sexual past but they will never tell you not to dishonor the families" and so on...

I thought she was still saddened by the fact that she had lost her physical virginity through a rape, and that she felt guilty about it ... but the more days went by and the more I felt that something was wrong.

So I put her on hold and told her to tell me the whole truth, so she confessed that she had sexual experiences with his ex-boyfrind at 16 y.o, it wasnt a soooo innocent love.

I want make you understand it: if Ididnt insist I would never have known the truth...I would have thought "Okay, she's not a virgin anymore because she's been raped, but she's not guilty, so she's still a pure girl" .... What if, for absurd example, I had married her? I would have married a liar, and maybe I would have known about her sexual past after marriage.

Fortunately, all this happened online. But what if it happens in reality?

Maybe I could meet a girl who does not want to lose me and so, in order not to renounce marriage, to lie unashamedly... This Pakistani girl said she was a practicing Muslim, so I believed her words...I trusted her!
If she had been a non-practicing Muslim, then I could also expect her sex life before marriage (I know Moroccan girls from my city by sight, they are not practicing Muslims, so I see them going out quietly with their boyfriends...or more, some days ago a Pakistani girl from Florence contacted me for urdu lessons and, talking about pakistani culture, she told me that she isnt sooo religious and she had sexual experience before marriage...)

 

[Misbah-Abd]

You could not of married her anyway because you are not a Muslim. Second, she had no business corresponding with you online. Thirdly, I don't know what your obsession is with virgin girls, especially Muslim ones, so why don't you focus on your soul and embracing Islam for your salvation in the next life and then perhaps Allah Azza wa Jal can bless you with a righteous Muslim wife.

 

[Artic090]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

I still don't understand the issue, brother: Are you afraid of converting? Or are you afraid you won't find someone compatible that also fits your criteria after converting? If you're afraid, only you can help yourself through your fears with placing your trust in Allah.

Also, if you're unsure or uncertain about your steps in life or on this path, then you should ask guidance from Allah. There is nothing better to advise you than the aforesaid.

Peace.

Sincere Regards & Best Wishes,

No, im not worried about convertion. As I told you before, i feel "muslim inside", one day i will tell you all my story...and you will understand that i have always been a "virtual" muslim.
I still think: If i were born into islamic state, in middle-est, maybe my life would be better.

I dont have problem to converte in Islam, but I'm worried about what I said before. I suffered and I am still suffering in this Western and Catholic world...and i want to find my happiness....

I love Islamic ideology, I want a wife who follows Islamic morality and I want my children to grow up following Islamic values: but I'm afraid, really so afraid, not to find those guarantees I'm looking for ...

 

[A786]

Yes, im a Christian who wanted to convert in Islam because i need that purity i couldnt find in my religion. But some people told me a lot of not nice things...and so, im afraid that Islam wont save me, It wont give me what i need...

People will always talk. IT is up to YOU to make changes in your own life.

For starters, begin reading the Quran with English Translation to understand God's message for us and perhaps read a brief biography of the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH)

InshAllah Allah will open your heart and you will find peace.

watch the following convert story to Islam, it's truly so inspirational. He was a man who like you came from Christianity and was searching for God because he like you also did not find that tranquility in his religion, but Subanallah after embracing Islam, he is at home.


WATCH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni3Qj8NFHWc

 

[Artic090]

Hello my friends! Sorry for my late, but in last weeks i had a lot of commitments and I changed my home.
Through ads I found people who would like to help me for to "learn" the Islamic religion.... but in these days i feel very bad.
I spoke to some cattholic boy (not a practitioner) and he told me not so nice things about Islamic women: he said that my ideal of woman does not exist in the world, that here in Italy Muslim women are like Catholics women, that I must accept a woman who has had men because to have physical relationships is a normal thing, and so on.
I started to feel depressed....my life is ruined forever. Why continue to live? Why did God made me birth? I thought that Islam would save me from loneliness, from unhappiness, from the nightmare of never have my right woman with build an happy family.