From What Age Are You Allowed To Marry In Islam?

[Qingu]

Well, i do. If she is mentally, emotionally, and physically fit for marriage - then she is fit for consent. Each individual differs however. So if someone is not fit for marriage at that age, then yeah - i don't agree.

Do you also believe 12 year olds should be able to vote, drive cars, join the army, and other activities commonly relegated to "adults only"?

Or is the maturity level required for sexual consent significantly lower than the maturity level requirement for these other activities?

We should obey the laws of the land, so long as it doesn't lead to disobedience of God. Marriage age is influenced by culture. So in the UK, it can be at 16 - so the muslims there can follow that culture.

Ah, okay, that makes sense to me. I think some other posters in this thread seem to disagree, though.

 

[Godless Heathen]

Well, i do. If she is mentally, emotionally, and physically fit for marriage - then she is fit for consent. Each individual differs however. So if someone is not fit for marriage at that age, then yeah - i don't agree.


We should obey the laws of the land, so long as it doesn't lead to disobedience of God. Marriage age is influenced by culture. So in the UK, it can be at 16 - so the muslims there can follow that culture.

What's the point of following secular laws?

 

[- Qatada -]

Do you also believe 12 year olds should be able to vote, drive cars, join the army, and other activities commonly relegated to "adults only"?

Or is the maturity level required for sexual consent significantly lower than the maturity level requirement for these other activities?

Islamically speaking, an adult is someone who has reached adolescence. However, each person differs. A girls first period, and a boys first wet dream signifies their adulthood. However, people mature at different rates mentally, aswell as emotionally etc. so these are also taken into consideration.

Ah, okay, that makes sense to me. I think some other posters in this thread seem to disagree, though.

We are allowed to follow our culture, so long as the cultural practises do not oppose Islamic teachings. If in one culture it is the norms to get married at 25, and in another at 16. Then you can easily follow your culture since there is nothing wrong with getting married at either of those ages etc.

 

[Qingu]

Islamically speaking, an adult is someone who has reached adolescence. However, each person differs. A girls first period, and a boys first wet dream signifies their adulthood. However, people mature at different rates mentally, aswell as emotionally etc. so these are also taken into consideration.

Sorry to keep questioning you, I hope I don't come off as argumentative, but I'm genuinely curious: do you think kids who have periods/wet dreams should be considered "adults" in all respects? Voting, driving, going to war, choosing whether or not to stay in school, etc? Or just marriage?

I agree that individuals mature at different rates, but I must say I'd be pretty uncomfortable allowing any 12 year old the right to vote, drive, or fire a machine gun at enemy soldiers. That would have to be one bright and emotionally stable 12 year old.

 

[- Qatada -]

Sorry to keep questioning you, I hope I don't come off as argumentative, but I'm genuinely curious: do you think kids who have periods/wet dreams should be considered "adults" in all respects? Voting, driving, going to war, choosing whether or not to stay in school, etc? Or just marriage?

I agree that individuals mature at different rates, but I must say I'd be pretty uncomfortable allowing any 12 year old the right to vote, drive, or fire a machine gun at enemy soldiers. That would have to be one bright and emotionally stable 12 year old.

Again, that may be due to your cultural upbringing. I can assure you that in many other cultures around the world, 12year olds are really living adult lifestyles. They work, they marry, they support their original home which they were brought up in.

I know it may seem shocking, but even historically - this has been the case.


If someone is living in the west - then yeah, they will also find it surprising. And i don't blame them, because again, someone from another time period in history, or another place in the world will be amazed (atleast a few decades ago) at the age people get married here, and the age they have children.


Think about it, in some cultures - having kids at a young age is a blessing, in the west it's not really something plausible because the person is expected to enjoy life, become old and then have kids. Agreed?


So that's how it goes.

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.​

And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colours: verily in that are Signs for those who know.


[Qur'an 30: 21-22]


​

Peace.

 

[Woodrow]

Sorry to keep questioning you, I hope I don't come off as argumentative, but I'm genuinely curious: do you think kids who have periods/wet dreams should be considered "adults" in all respects? Voting, driving, going to war, choosing whether or not to stay in school, etc? Or just marriage?

I agree that individuals mature at different rates, but I must say I'd be pretty uncomfortable allowing any 12 year old the right to vote, drive, or fire a machine gun at enemy soldiers. That would have to be one bright and emotionally stable 12 year old.

Sadly, I hate the thought of children in combat. But, the reality is from a military stand point they make excellent soldiers. Provided their commander doesn't care about them. Historically I believe every nation has used them, going back to the days of the crusades.

My objection to having 12 year old soldiers is not because they are not mature (many are mature enough), but because it is such a horror and waste of life.

 

[Whatsthepoint]

in the west it's not really something plausible because the person is expected to enjoy life, become old and then have kids. Agreed?

I a person wants to make a living a developed country they have to aquire education and make a career, something which a lot of people with kids can't manage. That's why most women give their first birth between the ages of 20 to 30 or so.

 

[Woodrow]

Or is the maturity level required for sexual consent significantly lower than the maturity level requirement for these other activities?


.

Like or not a sexual mature person, no matter what chronological age, is going to have to come to grips and emotional maturity about their own sexuality very fast. If they do not they face the probability of making some very serious errors of judgment. For some marriage is the best choice. I will agree it is not appropriate for all, but at the same time it should not be denied to those for whom it is the best choice.

Our system of secular legislation is based on what is believed to be best for the majority, but it often neglects what is best for the individual.

 

[Qingu]

Again, that may be due to your cultural upbringing. I can assure you that in many other cultures around the world, 12year olds are really living adult lifestyles. They work, they marry, they support their original home which they were brought up in.

I know it may seem shocking, but even historically - this has been the case.

I don't disagree that this is the case, but I disagree that this should be the case. Appealing to historical precedent is not exactly a convincing argument (to me, at least): after all, slavery was commonplace in pretty much every society up until a few centuries ago.

I'd like to think that our cultures have improved since the time when children were sent off to fight in wars.

But more importantly, I'm not convinced that a teenager is capable of responsibility for him or herself, simply because of the hormonal changes that bombard teenagers' bodies. This has been the case in every culture (and across species—adolescent chimpanzees, like human adolescents, tend to be aggressive, impulsive, and anti-authoritarian).

 

[Qingu]

Like or not a sexual mature person, no matter what chronological age, is going to have to come to grips and emotional maturity about their own sexuality very fast. If they do not they face the probability of making some very serious errors of judgment. For some marriage is the best choice. I will agree it is not appropriate for all, but at the same time it should not be denied to those for whom it is the best choice.

I wasn't aware that choice necessarily enters into the equation, since many marriages in the Muslim world are arranged. I also am not convinced that a 12 year old girl can actually, responsibly "choose" to marry anyone—especially a much older man who could potentially use his experience and intelligence to manipulate her.

Also, modern society already provides a safety net for sexually active teenagers, in the form of birth control and abortions. Obviously no sex is wholly consequence-free, but these innovations certainly help to prevent the most obvious consequence of underage sex (unwanted children).

Our system of secular legislation is based on what is believed to be best for the majority, but it often neglects what is best for the individual.

I agree, but I fail to see any other options. I think there are probably a lot of kids who could learn how to drive a car safely and responsibly before the age of 16, but it's not like it's a huge inconvenience to wait a few years. Especially when the law probably prevents a lot of potentially dangerous underage drivers from getting on the road and harming people. Similarly, secular laws governing who can marry and when, though not perfect (or even consistent), probably help to prevent a lot of unhealthy marriages.

 

[Woodrow]

I wasn't aware that choice necessarily enters into the equation, since many marriages in the Muslim world are arranged. I also am not convinced that a 12 year old girl can actually, responsibly "choose" to marry anyone—especially a much older man who could potentially use his experience and intelligence to manipulate her.

Choice is very much a part of Islam. Do you think I would be single right now, if there was any place in the world I could select a wife and just work out the arraignments with the Parents? Do you think there would be so many single Muslim Males in the world if things were as simple as they are stereotyped to be. There are many single Muslim males on this forum alone. Believe me they all wish they could just ask their parents to buy them a wife.

Also, modern society already provides a safety net for sexually active teenagers, in the form of birth control and abortions. Obviously no sex is wholly consequence-free, but these innovations certainly help to prevent the most obvious consequence of underage sex (unwanted children).

Which I am certain a secular atheist would see as the best choice. However to much of the world, premarital sex is not looked upon favorably, and the concerns have nothing to do with disease or pregnancy, although those are fringe benefits as those problems are eliminated or greatly reduced.

I agree, but I fail to see any other options. I think there are probably a lot of kids who could learn how to drive a car safely and responsibly before the age of 16, but it's not like it's a huge inconvenience to wait a few years. Especially when the law probably prevents a lot of potentially dangerous underage drivers from getting on the road and harming people. Similarly, secular laws governing who can marry and when, though not perfect (or even consistent), probably help to prevent a lot of unhealthy marriages.

Something that is overlooked. Although a person is encourged to marry upon puberty, nobody is required to do so.

There are many factors to consider, such as how to support a marriage and how to maintain the ability to reach your highest potential.

too many people look at the cultural aspects of a few countries and decide that must be Islam.

It is very specifically forbidden to force a woman to marry somebody not of her choice.

 

[Mikayeel]

What's the point of following secular laws?

well!, its either that, or would you like instead of getting married that they have oncontrolled sex? teenage pregnancy, diseases etc... (does it ring a bell?)

(you prevent A BIG LOSS by a commiting a realll small one!!(not a loss in my eyes) )

 

[Qingu]

Choice is very much a part of Islam. Do you think I would be single right now, if there was any place in the world I could select a wife and just work out the arraignments with the Parents? Do you think there would be so many single Muslim Males in the world if things were as simple as they are stereotyped to be. There are many single Muslim males on this forum alone. Believe me they all wish they could just ask their parents to buy them a wife.

I'm not sure about stereotypes, but I thought arranged marriages were basically the standard in most less developed countries (not just Muslim countries). I can't help but notice you live in Texas. Perhaps you'd have better luck if you moved to Somalia?

Which I am certain a secular atheist would see as the best choice. However to much of the world, premarital sex is not looked upon favorably, and the concerns have nothing to do with disease or pregnancy, although those are fringe benefits as those problems are eliminated or greatly reduced.

too many people look at the cultural aspects of a few countries and decide that must be Islam.

From what I understand, the Prophet Muhammad set the moral precedent of marrying young girls. (Edit: in Islam. This was obviously also commonplace before Islam.)

It is very specifically forbidden to force a woman to marry somebody not of her choice.

I've always been curious about this, because in Islam aren't children required to obey their parents? If a parent wants to arrange a marriage for his daughter but the daughter refuses, who is in the wrong? Does the daughter have any legal recourse?

 

[Woodrow]

I'm not sure about stereotypes, but I thought arranged marriages were basically the standard in most less developed countries (not just Muslim countries). I can't help but notice you live in Texas. Perhaps you'd have better luck if you moved to Somalia?

Actually, if my health improves a bit more. I may move to Morocco. I've lived there before and I am certain I could stretch my Social Security check a bit further in Fez than I can here in Austin. However, I would not have any better chance of getting a wife there than I can here.

Last year I was engaged to a very wonderful woman. The choice was all hers. I was the one who ended the engagement when my health gave out.

I doubt if I would have much luck in Somalia. I find that very few Somali woman want a husband with white skin, especially one that is older than some rocks.

From what I understand, the Prophet Muhammad set the moral precedent of marrying young girls. (Edit: in Islam. This was obviously also commonplace before Islam.)

The precedents Muhammad(PBUH) provided for fair and just treatment for all ages and cultures. The treatment of woman, world wide was quite horrible for all woman, prior to then. Something I here very often from women who have reverted is that they can not believe the amount of freedom they gained. You will also hear that from many women on this forum. the Moral precedent set was not that of marrying young women. It was set to not marry one before she reaches Puberty, Not to force her into marriage and to do no harm to a woman. As strange and as difficult it is to accept, Aisha met all of that.

I've always been curious about this, because in Islam aren't children required to obey their parents? If a parent wants to arrange a marriage for his daughter but the daughter refuses, who is in the wrong? Does the daughter have any legal recourse?

Children are required to obey they parents, when what the parent demands is halal. Although a child should always show respect for a parent, they are not to obey any haram requests from the parents, but they do need to refuse with respect and not with anger or hate.

 

[Qingu]

Actually, if my health improves a bit more. I may move to Morocco. I've lived there before and I am certain I could stretch my Social Security check a bit further in Fez than I can here in Austin. However, I would not have any better chance of getting a wife there than I can here.

Last year I was engaged to a very wonderful woman. The choice was all hers. I was the one who ended the engagement when my health gave out.

I doubt if I would have much luck in Somalia. I find that very few Somali woman want a husband with white skin, especially one that is older than some rocks.

Well, who needs women anyway!

(Seriously though, I am very sorry to hear that.)

The precedents Muhammad(PBUH) provided for fair and just treatment for all ages and cultures. The treatment of woman, world wide was quite horrible for all woman, prior to then. Something I here very often from women who have reverted is that they can not believe the amount of freedom they gained. You will also hear that from many women on this forum. the Moral precedent set was not that of marrying young women. It was set to not marry one before she reaches Puberty, Not to force her into marriage and to do no harm to a woman. As strange and as difficult it is to accept, Aisha met all of that.

I don't deny that 7th-century Islam in many ways improved the lives of women over the status quo of the time.

Children are required to obey they parents, when what the parent demands is halal. Although a child should always show respect for a parent, they are not to obey any haram requests from the parents, but they do need to refuse with respect and not with anger or hate.

Is commanding your child to marry someone haram?

If so, what recourses does a child have to refuse their parents' choice of husband/wife? Can the child legally go to a qadi and get a ruling?

 

[Woodrow]

Well, who needs women anyway!

(Seriously though, I am very sorry to hear that.)


I don't deny that 7th-century Islam in many ways improved the lives of women over the status quo of the time.


Is commanding your child to marry someone haram?

If so, what recourses does a child have to refuse their parents' choice of husband/wife? Can the child legally go to a qadi and get a ruling?

I am not all that knowledgable of sharia law, but I do know of some women who have done just that when their parents tried to force a Daughter to marry someone.

However the Qur'an does give guidance upon which the law is written.

4:19. O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. S P C

Yusuf Ali's Quran Translation

30:21. And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. S P C


Yusuf Ali's Quran Translation