FuNnY f0oD for Th0uGhT......

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*ice_queen*

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1. The things that came to those who w8 may b the things left by those who got there first......
2. Ever notice that anyone going slower than u is an idiot, anyone going faster than u is a maniac?
3. Why do tourist go to the tops of all buildings & then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
4. Does not expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
5. I have 6 locks on my door. i lock every other one. no matter how long somebody tries picking the locks, they are always locking 3 of them.
6. If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?
7. Needing someone is like needing a parachute, if they aren't there the first time you need them chances are you won't need them again!
 
Definitionz

Father: A banker provided by nature
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late & late when you are early
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound
Dictionary: The only place were divorce comes before marriage & success comes before work
College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read
Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her master's
Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power
Atom Bomb: An invention to tend all inventions
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life to be spoken of when dead
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter of the word ZERO instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us except that he got caught
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections & shakes your confidence after
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, & kills you with his bills
:p
 
Salaam,

3. Why do tourist go to the tops of all buildings & then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, & kills you with his bills
Click to expand...


Lol :D many them are so true
 
Modern Dictionary!

:sl:

Modern dictionary

ATOM BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.
CRIMINAL: A person no different from the other, unless he/she gets caught.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of
the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence later.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!


;D;D:omg::hiding:

:w:
 

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