anonymous
Anonymous User
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Asalmulaykum,
I am writing this post to specifically seek help. This is my first post so please be patient with me. I am just gona let it out. I believe I have gay desire :s Firstly let me tell you my background
At my local masjid I met this brother we instantly connected we were 14 and never felt so close to anyone before eventually growing up I realized I had desires for him. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be with him all the time. We would call each other, text, go to town and attend islamic event and told each are secretes. I never told him [ i am attracted to him ] out of fear of rejection. We would touch each other as a joke like touching thighs but that was it. Plus I was going through puberty.
We are both practicing Muslim. AlhamdaulilAllah my desire calmed down and I am no longer attracted to him. During university life my desire reignited for females which I was so happy, however I would slightly look at if he was 'good looking'. Since leaving uni my ; I met this guy online through a chatroom a gay chatroom- I randomly do this when my iman is weak. disgusting as it may sound my intention was to satisfy myself by sharing pictures and receiving pictures . However this guy was different to those I usually share pictures .We have been constantly talking since Friday night last week. I can't describe the feelings I have for him but I just want him. we have shared pictures and literally share everything we do every min. I understand its haram but I just can't delete him from my life. Please advise I am now 21 and I can't be going through this again. It hurts because I know I am displeasing my lord.
I have had enough of these desires. I feel like I am cursed.
I am writing this post to specifically seek help. This is my first post so please be patient with me. I am just gona let it out. I believe I have gay desire :s Firstly let me tell you my background
At my local masjid I met this brother we instantly connected we were 14 and never felt so close to anyone before eventually growing up I realized I had desires for him. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to be with him all the time. We would call each other, text, go to town and attend islamic event and told each are secretes. I never told him [ i am attracted to him ] out of fear of rejection. We would touch each other as a joke like touching thighs but that was it. Plus I was going through puberty.
We are both practicing Muslim. AlhamdaulilAllah my desire calmed down and I am no longer attracted to him. During university life my desire reignited for females which I was so happy, however I would slightly look at if he was 'good looking'. Since leaving uni my ; I met this guy online through a chatroom a gay chatroom- I randomly do this when my iman is weak. disgusting as it may sound my intention was to satisfy myself by sharing pictures and receiving pictures . However this guy was different to those I usually share pictures .We have been constantly talking since Friday night last week. I can't describe the feelings I have for him but I just want him. we have shared pictures and literally share everything we do every min. I understand its haram but I just can't delete him from my life. Please advise I am now 21 and I can't be going through this again. It hurts because I know I am displeasing my lord.
I have had enough of these desires. I feel like I am cursed.