Assalamualaikum
Recently, well it's been 3 months more or less, I had done Salat Istikhara about something. I was fully intending to do it. Then a series of events happened which gave me clear indications that I should not do it. But I still went ahead and did it anyway. I really did not know what to do, and something in me told me don't do it,still I was in such a state that I just went ahead and did it.
Ever since everything has changed. My whole life has turned upside down. Nothing is going as it should be going. And I am feeling myself change...What I wanted to do and now how it is happening is completely opposite. Try as I might I cannot feel any good about my situation. I am afraid Allah(swt) is punishing me for this one decision I took and now He will make things hard for me or will make my life take a complete direction. Try as I might I am not able to make the situation like it was before I did the Istikhara...And also I keep repeating Istikhara now but my heart is not in it. I feel like Allah(swt) won't help me now...
I really don't know where I am. I keep doing things which I would not normally do. Things keep happening in my life, all contrary to what was supposed to happen. And I am not able to accept it because I keep going back to that one decision I made and keep saying to myself you should not have done it, all the signs were there, you should have been patient and tolerated the situation for a while more.
I don't know where this is leading but I just want to be a good person and lead a good life, do my Salah etc, but I am afraid Allah(swt) will make it hard for me...I am so distressed, I don't feel in control of myself...I don't know where in all this I did wrong, I cannot understand and I am not able to focus on anything, even Salah because now I am afraid Allah(swt) won't help me...My faith, convictions, principles, opinions are just fading...What should I do? I feel bad because I am not able to trust Allah(swt)...I keep getting angry at Him, at myself, and everyone else. What's happening?? I have a feeling I may need to post other threads later since maybe I did not explain myself well...Thank you for answering..
Recently, well it's been 3 months more or less, I had done Salat Istikhara about something. I was fully intending to do it. Then a series of events happened which gave me clear indications that I should not do it. But I still went ahead and did it anyway. I really did not know what to do, and something in me told me don't do it,still I was in such a state that I just went ahead and did it.
Ever since everything has changed. My whole life has turned upside down. Nothing is going as it should be going. And I am feeling myself change...What I wanted to do and now how it is happening is completely opposite. Try as I might I cannot feel any good about my situation. I am afraid Allah(swt) is punishing me for this one decision I took and now He will make things hard for me or will make my life take a complete direction. Try as I might I am not able to make the situation like it was before I did the Istikhara...And also I keep repeating Istikhara now but my heart is not in it. I feel like Allah(swt) won't help me now...
I really don't know where I am. I keep doing things which I would not normally do. Things keep happening in my life, all contrary to what was supposed to happen. And I am not able to accept it because I keep going back to that one decision I made and keep saying to myself you should not have done it, all the signs were there, you should have been patient and tolerated the situation for a while more.
I don't know where this is leading but I just want to be a good person and lead a good life, do my Salah etc, but I am afraid Allah(swt) will make it hard for me...I am so distressed, I don't feel in control of myself...I don't know where in all this I did wrong, I cannot understand and I am not able to focus on anything, even Salah because now I am afraid Allah(swt) won't help me...My faith, convictions, principles, opinions are just fading...What should I do? I feel bad because I am not able to trust Allah(swt)...I keep getting angry at Him, at myself, and everyone else. What's happening?? I have a feeling I may need to post other threads later since maybe I did not explain myself well...Thank you for answering..