:salamext:
DigitalStorm82 said:
and she wont stop listening to music either...
The problems u have mentioned are faced by many muslims. I used to get quite angry at times , when i see my family not practising. But then , i wanted a solution to it , and my frustration would not help them. So i talked to a friend of mine, abt it. Let me advise you the same which she told me.
first of all, You have to stay "calm and cool". If you want to help your family memberz, remember, you have to control your anger first. For Dawah (even to family memberz) requires a lot of patience and forgiveness.
Let me tell you my experience, my bros and sisters listen to music too, and believe me it hurts me. In the beginning i use to be quite harsh with them, like "Don't you know, music is haraam...........i even showed you the
hadith...........etc" . And they would be like " You have told us once, now ur responsibility is over"......and that would make me real sad and depressed.
And .......sometimes when i would lose my temper or shout, i would hear......"doin dawah to others is easy but practising itself is difficult.Those who are real daii, have to be practising too.........and they dont talk like you "
So well, i decided to help my family (ofcourse i know they dont think they need it). Now, when they are listening to music, what i do is that i tell them nicely.......that good muslims dont listen to music. We muslims dont need the support of music for relaxation.Listening to music makes us away from Allah, and we dont want that. These are the instruments of Shaytaan.........and saying "Aoodho billahe minashaitan nir rajeem".............etc" . You can buy them nasheeds....
I dont put it all in one go............nobody likes being advised all the time. They say, "its difficult to live without music"........so they want practical examples of those who dont listen to music. ( You dont listen to music ........rite! so you can help your family .......in this regard . People dont get "stimulated to practice islam" if you tell them the do's and dont's of it. The best Thing.........is "Your practice" that will stimulate them inshaAllah and the way you bring them and introduce them to the beauty of Islam.
I read somewhere......
"PEOPLE DONT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SAY, BUT THEY DO BELIEVE WHAT YOU DO.
Allah Almighty says in the Quran........
"Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant." verse 199 surah al-airaaf
^^^ this is how dawah is to be done.
Instead of being frustrated, just think this way, "Let me try to help them out and to bring them closer to islam inshaAllah. let me do it in the best possible way bi idhnillah." .........Guidance (Hidayaah ) comes from Allah alone........so remember we cant pour hidayah in somebody. Just pray to Allah to help you.
DigitalStorm82 said:
NO ONE in my family wears hijaab... and that includes extended family... right now you're probably saying... he's desi... well you're right... Im originally from pakistan.
But anyway... my sister and cuz's go on a walk outside every night almost and none of them wear any hijaab... and it's begining to make me VERY ANGRY.
^^^ as you say , you have told them, that Allah Almighty has ordered the muslim woman to cover. But still they are not wearing hijab.
So that means that you need to tell them.........why Allah Almighty has made hijab compulsory.The benefits of wearing hijab.........and the ills of not wearing.( You may also ask your sisters, as to why they dont want to wear hijab, so that you may help them respectively. Many girls think they wont be looking good wearing hijab ,or they might be called an orthodox......../fundamentalist...........so do talk to them about it)
Have a look at this ........article
The Virtues of Hijab
1.An act of obedience.
The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allah says in the Qur'an: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.' (S33:36).
Allah also said: 'And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.'(S24:31).
Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies.
2.The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty).
Allah (subhana wa'atala) made the adherence to the hijab a manifestation for chastity and modesty. Allah says: 'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested.' (S33:59). In the above Ayaah there is an evidence that the recognition of the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost every aspect of attraction. Allah (swt) made it permissible for them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces and hands reminding, however, that is still better for them to keep their modesty.
3.The hijab is Tahara (Purity)
Allah (swt) had shown us the hikma (wisdom) behind the legislation of the hijab: `And when you ask them (the Prophet's wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' (S33:53).
The hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing men and women because it screens against the desire of the heart. Without the hijab, the heart may or may not desire. That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts:
`Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.' (S33:32)
4.The hijab is a Shield
The prophet (pbuh) said: "Allah, Most High, is Heaven, is Ha'yeii (Bashful), Sit'teer (Shielder). He loves Haya' (Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering)." The Prophet (pbuh) also said: "Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband's house (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allah's shield upon her. "The hadith demonstrates that depending upon the kind of action committed there will be either reward (if good) or punishment (if bad).
5. The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness)
Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an: `O children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc) and as an adornment. But the raiment of righteousness, that is better.'(S7:26). The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the woman's body. To the believing women, however the purpose is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a manifestation of the order of Allah. It is an act of Taqwah (righteousness).
6.The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith)
Allah (swt) did not address His words about the hijab except to the believing women, Al-Mo'minat. In many cases in the Qur'an Allah refers to the "the believing women". Aisha (RA), the wife of the prophet (pbuh), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed: "If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it."
7. The hijab is Haya' (Bashfulness)
There are two authentic hadith which state: "Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'" AND "Bashfulness is from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)". The hijab fits the natural bashfulness which is a part of the nature of women.
8.The hijab is Gheerah
The hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah, which is intrinsic in the straight man who does not like people to look at his wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him from strangers. The straight MUSLIM man has Gheerah for ALL MUSLIM women In response to lust and desire, men look (with desire) at other women while they do not mind that other men do the same to their wives or daughters. The mixing of sexes and absence of hijab destroys the Gheera in men. Islam considers Gheerah an integral part of faith. The dignity of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be highly respected and defended.
Apart from that .......
i read a very beautiful article
HIDDEN PEARLS
http://www.alhudapk.com/reading-material/articles/hidden_pearls/hidden.asp
WHY SHOULD I WEAR HIJAB
http://www.muhajabah.com/whyhijab.htm
TIPS FOR BEGINNING TO WEAR HIJAB
http://www.muhajabah.com/hjbscared.htm
MUSIC- THE INSTRUMENTS OF SHAITAN
http://www.irf.net/irf/dtp/dawah_tech/ques45.htm
well, what i understand is that, "Back to The Quran" , can solve all the problems you have mentioned. How about teacing your sisters the Quran,with translation and explanation ( tafseer)....? or they might study at a Quran institute...?
may Allah Almighty help you.....and guide you and your family and the whole muslim ummah to the straight path .Ameen
:wasalamex
oh: 
