Handsome man need help to avoid fitnah!

[Afg]

Alhamdulillah he is engaged. Please remind him that his looks could be a test for him and that death could come suddenly. And please be there for him, pray for him that Allah protects him. It's very important that he remembers Allah, knows that this is a test and stays away from this fitnah. He will be rewarded InshaAllah.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

lol sister!

I think if he grow a beard he will be even more attractive Even though I have advised him several times to follow the Sunnah and grow his beard, he keep saying inshaAllah I will in the future but not now!!

i think he should still grow it though. as sis skye said as well

To the OP... there is alot of wisdom in the story of Yusuf (AS) I'd read it and reflect on its wisdom.. Yusuf was extremely handsome, but his is also a story of patience ...

there's only a certain amount we can do...

its not that he is wearing clothes that reveal his body or something like that, he is very modest in dressing. Its just that he is attractive in the way he looks like and he can't help it.

I don't want him to pay more attention to that issue than he suppose to.

perhaps its best to advise him to change his style a little to make himself intentionally unattractive. in other words, whatever the people find attractive in him, to implement the opposite...for eg, if they find the way he combs his hair attractive, then he shouldn't comb it in that particular way and leave it a little messy or something :hmm:.

ok i had to laugh reading this topic, but i think itd be best to tell your brother to remember who he is. what im saying is sometimes the 'good looks' can go to a persons head and Alhumdulillah although it doesnt seem to have happened yet, it still can.

i agree with this as well...

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I hate having this problem to.lol all kidding aside a a Christian i fight the same thing, really. I am a darker complection, brown eyed, black hair Italian (usually mistaken for an Indian or Afghani...seriously) I do like to dress well though, i wear armani and custom italian suits for business, but i am always coverd(modestly) My wife gets mad all the time, not at me, at the other women. I am very nieve when it comes to women and can't tell when they are sending signals or hitting on me, most of the time right in front of my wife.They think she is just a freind because she is south Indian and i guess they don't put 2 and 2 together? keep in mind i was never allowed to date or hang out with women,that is forbidden in my family unless married of course. Just tell him to remember that God is always watching and knows whats in his heart.

God bless

your wife doesn't need to get jealous. i personally would take it as an opportunity to smear those women's jealously in their faces if i saw some lady looking at the husband in that way, i would just stand right next to him and look at the lady gloatingly as if to say "ha! eat your heart out, he's my turf.:shade:" that aught to send the ladies packing in no time. tell her to do that instead, it'll make her feel better

 

[mathematician]

Well, I tell you what, there are many people out there who would gladly take being attractive and dealing with fitnah as their test! Do you know how many problems people go through in this world? There are millions of people out there who worry about not having food to put on their kitchen table. There are millions of people going through physical pain. So many people dealing with the death of loved ones. So, if your brother's worry is to worry about fitnah then praise be to Allah for making his test much easier than what others go through.

There are many good looking people out there. Your brother has to learn to live with it. Marriage will not fix that. Married people still face temptation like single people. There is no "magic" trick where you wake up one day and you will not feel tempted anymore. Even if your brother gets married he will still lhave feelings for other women. This happens to scholars, to pious people too. It's something we all have to learn to deal with.

But then the question becomes, what can one do to help himself not fall for temptation?
You can look through this forum and many other places where some great tips are given.
If you were to ask me what I do to deal with temptation, I would say read the Qur'an whenever you get a chance. Don't go to places unless you have to. I know our cultures or sometimes we feel our religion don't discourage men from going out. But the reality is, men can also benefit from staying inside the house. Unless he has to go to work for example it wouldn't hurt to stay inside or go to the Mosque with religious people.

 

[cat eyes]

im sorry but people probably think i am weird but the way i see it everybody is beautiful in there own way. ya he probably attracts those type of westerner girls who don't wear the hijab and whom don't lower the gaze. i mean i have seen many good looking tall asian men but whats the big deal really ? lol i don't see what the big deal is.

i think every man out there is going through the same problem. i don't think you need to have model looks to fall into fitnah. my older brother everybody says he is good looking he got my mothers genes lol but he don't see it as a big thing he dose not womanise either. he actually hates those loud women who fllirt to much and raise there voices. hes shy private person. if hes anything like my brother he wont have any problems. the shyness somehow protects you

 

[AnonymousPoster]

your wife doesn't need to get jealous. i personally would take it as an opportunity to smear those women's jealously in their faces if i saw some lady looking at the husband in that way, i would just stand right next to him and look at the lady gloatingly as if to say "ha! eat your heart out, he's my turf.:shade:" that aught to send the ladies packing in no time. tell her to do that instead, it'll make her feel better

I will appreciate it if you mention at the end of your post that you are different than the thread starter who is me so people will not confuse you with me :hmm:


anyways.....as for the rest of replies, I am taking all of them in mind, jazakum Allah khair for your tips. Just before an hour he came and said that everybody saw him at collage in his winter clothes said that he is very handsome...I was like:hmm: when I will take a break from that. I tried to make him feel normal about it by saying that in general I think that people look better in winter clothes so its not something only in his case!!


sister Umm ul-Shaheed, he is wearing the traditional clothes here, so its not an easy thing to go out with western style or something like that.

brother Hamza81, jazakAllah khair for your time to write that long beneficial post

 

[Donia]

Just tell him that he's ugly.

LOL. Just kidding.
I think getting married is a good step and trying to hang out with practicing pious Muslims should be of a benefit to him also.
It's nice that he has you to be concerned about him alhumdulillah.

 

[abu salaahudeen]

may alla protect us all from the plotting of the shaytaan