Harder for a female than male when it comes to finding a spouse

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celina said:
Aslam allaykum

I am new to these post, I was browsing through some posts and I noticed that there was discussion going on about what things would you not like in a female spouse. A lot of the brothers listed a long criteria which is fair enough, but have you ever thought how it is like for a female when she is about to get married?. Trust me it is harder for the sisters, even if there are a lot of flaws in a male spouse but she will have to marry him but the female has to be perfect in all every way.
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Asslamu Alikum

I think it is harder for the women to some extent. They do not usually have the financial burden but they need to meet a certain expectation to fulfil their duties such as looking after the children so on.

For a guy, all I have to do go work. If I dislike that job, I can leave and find another. I do have responsibility for the children but women can get easily tired and frustrated due to her menstrual cycle period and other pressures. Cleaning the house, cooking and looking after the children can be very hard.

A woman does not have that luxury that she can simply neglect looking after the children, and her duties. It is a full time job and can be very stressful.

Though that is my personal opinion. If I ever get married, I guess I would try to help my wife in every way. The only thing I wouldn't do is the diapers work. :p

If I did get married to a women who did not happen to have a strong faith in Islam, I wouldn't force or pressure her to change. I would encourage her. I know married men expect too much from women. They need to be patient. I would try to focus on keeping her happy.
 
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once again, a lot of you are thinking "who has it harder once you are already married?"

its much harder for men. ive been looking for like 2 years now and have gotten everything in the book: not practicing enough, too practicing, "you're only a musilm for my daughter you kafir", you're not from back home, etc etc etc.

like i said: women just have to say yay or nay. we gotta do the hard stuff.
 
I think it's 50-50. It is probably different for every individual. It is going to be hard for me, cause I am partly insane, and my beliefs are very different. I personally don't care though. If she is out there, I will find her, and she won't hate my beliefs, or **** me for them, she will embrace them, and believe what she wants.
 
It's hard for females and it's hard for males- and I'm pretty sure hermaphrodites have it the hardest! What is the point of winning this pointless argument? We live in an age where keeping things halal is made difficult, marriage and everything else included.

May Allah grant us all with pious husbands and wives that will ease our hardships- verily with hardship there is ease.
 
I totally agree with umul shaheed, man!!!! We go thru hell befor the yes or no. I hate proposals.... U are left to make a decision on your own, the decision u make, might cause you cut off ties with yr family jus for some crappy man who wnt even acknowlege that..n confidently says women jus sit back n say yay or nay!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do pray inshaallah that almighty guide us all in making the right decision.
 
crayon; a little technicality, but I don't believe there is such a thing as a true hermaphrodite, Pseudo-hermaphrodite is the proper term.
surgery usually helps, but yeah, they'd have a very tough time indeed form what I've heard.

either way, don't over think it, marriage will come, or it won't, just do your thing and be content with what you have, actually scrap that, work to improve yourself as much as you can, become a better person, otherwise the guy/gal of your dreams won't be so easy to some by, Then be content.
 
salaam

Yes its harder for women mostly - but it does matter about the culture. Some cultures make it very difficlut for women.

peace
 
Asalam Alaykum.

A concidence is that my friends and I,were discussing this the other day because my friends sisters marraige was called off for some reason due to his sisters refusal. Her brother stated a few days ago to me that "She shouldn't have refused,its hard for females to get married but for guys,they get married easily." The true fact is that,you should take time and patience when coming to chose one nothing like "eeny meeni mino mo" it is a life decision that will remain with you forever including in Paradise, These desicions should not be taken without proper consultation and knowledge. Over that it should be halal(for muslims).Amin,to all duas on this thread.

:)
 
May Allah ease all our problems..ameen.

I pray for all that are looking for a righteouse person inshALLAH. My purpose wasn't to create an argument here but to get brothers and sisters views and infact make them realise that it can harder both ways, even though I still think women struggle more when finding a person and even after marriage.
 
^^Brother convert, I suggest you to have a look at this thread. If anything works out, do inform us. :) :statisfie :p


[BANANA]is there a chance?[/BANANA]
 

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