I am experiencing extreme family problems at the moment and I feel betrayed and depressed.
I am the eldest son of five siblings and our father passed away many years ago. My three elder sisters took over the family responsibilities as our mother is illiterate and controlled both brothers as if they were our mother.
I was opressed and humiliated by my elder sisters but due to my upbringing I never even lifted my head to argue or complain about their behaviour.
Gradually over a period of time due to the constant pressure and my already affected state of mind from my father's sudden death I decided I needed to move out of the family home for my own sanity. I moved very close to the family home as I dearly love my mother and wanted to be close if she needed me.
However, my sisters always controlled my relationship with my mother. Our father left behind a huge amount of wealth and this became more important for my sisters. They did not want our mother to give any money to her sons or to help them in any way. As time passed, I met a muslim girl and we decided to get married. My mother and sisters were extremely unhappy about the situation but instead of discussing the issue with me they pretended to accept my wife and agreed to our marriage.
At the wedding they humiliated my wife who was naive herself at the time and refused to dress her as a bride. They borrowed clothes and jewellery from my sisters and put them on her and then demanded these items back after the ceremony and people had left.
Again due my family's disrespect and humiliation, I distanced myself from them as I did not feel able to challenge their behaviour out of respect for my mother and sisters. I though it would be better to walk away. During this time, my sisters tried everything they could to break my marriage causing severe tension in my relationship with my wife.
Therefore again being unable to raise my voice to them or to say anything to them I just asked my mother if I could move in with her or she move in with me to prevent my sisters from interfering with my relationship with my mother and my wife. Again, I was met with hostility and my sisters refused to allow me to make any progress. I was shut out from the family for fear that I may take their money. It was thought that my wife would probably take all the family money and throw our mother into the street. I could no longer take these comments and criticisms and decided to cut ties with the family.
After five years of not seeing my family, I received a telephone call from my sister saying that our younger brother had thrown our mother out of the family home and she had nowhere to go. I was told that all the family property and money had been distributed amongst all the siblings leaving me out of the picture and the greed had taken over the younger brother. When I intervened my brother became hostile and threatening towards me. He refused to have a conversation or to discuss the problem. If I try to go and see him he calls the police and makes false allegations. I then discovered that my sisters had helped my brother to forge my signature and transfer property and money into his name and theirs. They had betrayed me. I became enraged and wanted answers for their wrongdoing, however since I have started to challenge their behaviour they have gone into hiding. My sisters refuse to allow me to see my mother. I am not able to call her or visit her as if I go their house, they call the police. If I telephone they put the phone down. I have asked people to intervene but they do not open the door. Only Allah knows how much I have tried to speak to my mother but there is no opportunity to see her even for one minute. My siblings control her.
How can this be right? How can I see my mother?
I feel distraught and betrayed and do not know what to do. I tired taking several people with me to see if they could help but they never open the door. I then start to receive death threats that if I contunue to bother them they will kill me and my children. I try hard to pray to Allah Almighty to help me find a way to reach peace with this problem but there does not appear to be a way out. I have tried to get help from third parties but they are also insulted and abused and turned away from the house. I have tried the courts and have even suffered severe financial losses myself but still the problem gets worse.
I then went to umrah to ease my tension and ask for Allah's guidance but I feel so weakened physically and mentally that I just cannot see a solution to my probelm. Is there anyone out there who can help my anguish as I feel I am drowning.
*edited by Rabi'ya to make it easier to read inshallah*
I am the eldest son of five siblings and our father passed away many years ago. My three elder sisters took over the family responsibilities as our mother is illiterate and controlled both brothers as if they were our mother.
I was opressed and humiliated by my elder sisters but due to my upbringing I never even lifted my head to argue or complain about their behaviour.
Gradually over a period of time due to the constant pressure and my already affected state of mind from my father's sudden death I decided I needed to move out of the family home for my own sanity. I moved very close to the family home as I dearly love my mother and wanted to be close if she needed me.
However, my sisters always controlled my relationship with my mother. Our father left behind a huge amount of wealth and this became more important for my sisters. They did not want our mother to give any money to her sons or to help them in any way. As time passed, I met a muslim girl and we decided to get married. My mother and sisters were extremely unhappy about the situation but instead of discussing the issue with me they pretended to accept my wife and agreed to our marriage.
At the wedding they humiliated my wife who was naive herself at the time and refused to dress her as a bride. They borrowed clothes and jewellery from my sisters and put them on her and then demanded these items back after the ceremony and people had left.
Again due my family's disrespect and humiliation, I distanced myself from them as I did not feel able to challenge their behaviour out of respect for my mother and sisters. I though it would be better to walk away. During this time, my sisters tried everything they could to break my marriage causing severe tension in my relationship with my wife.
Therefore again being unable to raise my voice to them or to say anything to them I just asked my mother if I could move in with her or she move in with me to prevent my sisters from interfering with my relationship with my mother and my wife. Again, I was met with hostility and my sisters refused to allow me to make any progress. I was shut out from the family for fear that I may take their money. It was thought that my wife would probably take all the family money and throw our mother into the street. I could no longer take these comments and criticisms and decided to cut ties with the family.
After five years of not seeing my family, I received a telephone call from my sister saying that our younger brother had thrown our mother out of the family home and she had nowhere to go. I was told that all the family property and money had been distributed amongst all the siblings leaving me out of the picture and the greed had taken over the younger brother. When I intervened my brother became hostile and threatening towards me. He refused to have a conversation or to discuss the problem. If I try to go and see him he calls the police and makes false allegations. I then discovered that my sisters had helped my brother to forge my signature and transfer property and money into his name and theirs. They had betrayed me. I became enraged and wanted answers for their wrongdoing, however since I have started to challenge their behaviour they have gone into hiding. My sisters refuse to allow me to see my mother. I am not able to call her or visit her as if I go their house, they call the police. If I telephone they put the phone down. I have asked people to intervene but they do not open the door. Only Allah knows how much I have tried to speak to my mother but there is no opportunity to see her even for one minute. My siblings control her.
How can this be right? How can I see my mother?
I feel distraught and betrayed and do not know what to do. I tired taking several people with me to see if they could help but they never open the door. I then start to receive death threats that if I contunue to bother them they will kill me and my children. I try hard to pray to Allah Almighty to help me find a way to reach peace with this problem but there does not appear to be a way out. I have tried to get help from third parties but they are also insulted and abused and turned away from the house. I have tried the courts and have even suffered severe financial losses myself but still the problem gets worse.
I then went to umrah to ease my tension and ask for Allah's guidance but I feel so weakened physically and mentally that I just cannot see a solution to my probelm. Is there anyone out there who can help my anguish as I feel I am drowning.
*edited by Rabi'ya to make it easier to read inshallah*
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