Subahan Allah
Sister may Allah guide you and make you one of whom He loves and is amongst the pious
i've had the same issue regarding my relations with some of my sibling that are older than i am, i used to go to the washroom everyday and scream at myelf and say die die , i was planning of leaving my house and i was thinking of suicide ...#
of course at that time i had no idea what islam is , even though i am a born muslim , but God was mercifull and Forgiving no need for anything else they used to spread the ideas of you what start praying and fasting when you're old at that time God will Accept your repentance.
Thank God , He has helped and made me accpet things just the way they are , i was surrounded by wise sisters that really helped , they adviced me to allways have inner peace inside me and not let anyone get a piece of me , yes sometimes you are beaten and insulted in a hirtfull manner but i've honestly thank God that this has happened to me, and personally sometimes i feel even envious towards people who are facing hardships Because they learn the much deeper meaning into life.
Smile, and whnever you are insulted know that the more they insult or hurt your more spiritually you are going
I know it's hard it was veryy hard for me but i tried doing what my sisters in islam have told me and things got way better they realised them and somebullies i've had in school that no matter what they do or say i will never give them the impression that they actually hurt me or they affected me in anyway , by the time my bullies got boerd and things starting changing in my family .
I am willing to help you more , i hope what i said made somesense, And believe me God is preparing you for something which is better
i'd like to list somebenfits of such hardships:
1. It Shows that we are weak and we need our Creator.
2.It Teaches us how painfully it feels top hurt someone , know that you knwo i thnk it is suitable that you wouldn't like anyone to be treated that way.
3. It makes you look at those who people always never care about the downtrodden , the opressed , the weak ( And value them and get inspired by their patience)
4. It will make you more of an honest person because now when you are trying to help you do from your heart not for showing off or any repuation.
5. It strenghthen your character makes you more dependant on God and less dependant on people.
6.It builds you ppersonality and character , look at prophet Muhammad;s life and all his greatness , all that he has accomplished was through suffering and pain.
7.It is a sign of God'd love and it will bring you closer to God.
this is just a little there and definalty much more benfits i hope i helped
