Having ignored Islam for so long

[transition?]

the love of this world is rooted deep in my heart. But it, my life, offered me no true consolation when the times got rough. In the end, Allah (swt) alone Helped me and gave me the strength to continue. To him I am indebted. He Alone is Worthy of Praise! It is always difficult to make logical decisions and stay on the straight path. I seem to fail just about everyday. Somedays, I'll wake up feeling determined by the end of the day, I fall due to the weakness of my faith and listening to shaytan, and my own laziness. Or the opposite, I wake up not focused and then go through difficult moments, sometimes cry, and end up going back to Allah (swt) for help. Because I'm so used to a worldly life at times I tell myself I'd rather not pray. But whether I want to or don't I have to. I've taken drastic measures because my addiction to worldly things is so strong. I have give up what I love so much to concentrate on my obedience to Allah (swt). That is not easy for me. It basically what addicts do. They have literally force themselves into rehab and alienate themselves from their drug until their cravings die out, while they nourish themselves with a healthier substitute and install balance too. I am nothing worthwhile without my dependence on Allah (swt). They think why don't I just stop? If it was that easy, then I would've. But with the absence of Islam, I tried many things to fill the void. Inner strength comes from a relationship with Allah (swt) and self confidence comes from trusting him.


I'm sorry I couldn't finish my story. I will continue later. I'm writing this in hope that someone will find consolation that they are not alone in their struggles. And that they should never give up.

 

[transition?]

The only feeling worse than the feeling when you're sinning is when you're absolutely numb and unfocused. Your heart is getting hard again slowly. Everything is going pretty "swell" even though you're ignoring your duties as Muslim. No hardship has fallen in these moments. You forget that just because there is no hardship at the moment there is no reason to submit to Allah (swt). It's these peaceful moments that can one can use to their advantage increase their faith or forget about their religion. It's these moments that I'm learning to recognize as moments that usually lead to disparity, wallowing in self pity after a calamity struck and you were unprepared faith wise to deal with it.

My advice to myself and anybody who is tired of low moments: SEIZE THE MOMENT!!!

forget the coffee as a wake up pill, get some knowledge about the Hereafter!

(The Uncertainty of Death is always a big wake up call too)

 

[Eeman]

salam alaikum sister Jazak'Allah khair for this beautiful thread very well said and put.

i pray that Allah swt multiplies your deeds in abundance for this Insha'Allah.

Life in it self as a believing muslim is a hard process that we go through, each and every day, every hour, every minute to every second, we are constantly in the battle field fighting hard with all we have the jihad within ourselves with the rejected shaytaan.

Cos he is forever there, always on the lurk waiting, looking out for opportunities for him to attack us from any direction that he can, and yet at the same time we have the Almighty Lord, the most Powerful, the all seeing, all hearing and the best protector of all, knowing each and every move that we make, what we conceal in our hearts, what we think in our minds, whats hidden and apparent within us always watching us without a single milli second a miss.

the biggest tool He has bestowed upon us is His protection against the accursed shaytaan, all it takes is is rememberance of Him, seeking refuge in Him and submitting ourselves to Him and asking for His protection and the strength to defeat the evil through dua.

This dunya is the devils biggest tool to try and erode our hearts to turn it in it cold black stone curropted by evil, this dunya in itself your right is a disease an addictive disease that makes a weak soul addicted to it and inflicted by its disease.

the only cure to all this is through Allah swt, by turning to Him, relying soley upon Him, seeking Him and living to please Him.

This dunya can be beautified that way by living in it by His laws and commands, by doing thigs to change other people's lives and by making a difference and doing these things simply and only for His sake, without any expectations of any praise by anyone or any rewards of anyone, knowing and believing firmly in your heart that your rewards are with the Almighty Lord, such rewards that no creation in itself put together can accumulate for it. striving hard to gain that reward for your own salvation and out of love for the Almighty for being grateful for everything that He through His mercy and of His bounties has bestowed upon you.

Give for His sake in this worldly life and the barakah and khair your recieve will be endless, at times when people get into despair they lose the meaning of life and its true purpose and reasons, until despairity gets so bad that they lose hope and feel that they no longer can go on then they realise the reason for their despair and the true cure for it and the only curer for it and turn to the Almighty Lord again. but never fail to forget that hardships in itself is a blessing from Allah swt yes it may not seem so when you are going through it but in the end when you sit down and self reflect believe me no matter how hard the hardship was it will bring a smile to your face when you think about the whole reasoning behind it and the outcome of it all.

so lets strive hard to live life in this temporary world as the good stranger that walks into people's lives to bring a better change in them for no price nor any rewards, who makes a change and tries hard to make it a better place for mankind to live for a while.
start with a smile, a kind word, a small helping hand, a listening ear, a giver of good advice and through many other small things that are so small and doesnt need or involve much effort but Wallah is priceless. start by giving little each time for His sake and let that turn into a habit then an addiction, addiction is always referred as to things that are bad for us, let us get addicted to things that are good for us, lets us become the addicts of doing good deeds in order to please Him and make a change. Insha'Allah.

 

[transition?]

This dunya is the devils biggest tool to try and erode our hearts to turn it in it cold black stone curropted by evil, this dunya in itself your right is a disease an addictive disease that makes a weak soul addicted to it and inflicted by its disease.

:enough!: =/ Sometimes, like right now, that's how it feels. a big cold despairing heart. I hate that I never see Islam everywhere. I feel that I lead a privileged life in a sheltered environment where I never feel reality. As if we all live in the illusion of this temporary luxury. I forget all the time because I never have that reminder anywhere. this may sound stupid, but sometimes I just need a huge from a sister and some kind words. But I can't find such a fix. I haven't found my group of Muslim friends yet. But that still is no excuse. I still have Allah (swt) He is the best Helper! Yes, I'll have to go through the extra effort of remembering Allah (swt), but life is a test and if I put in my best. I will be rewarded in the best I have put in.

 

[roohani.doctor]

let us get addicted to things that are good for us, lets us become the addicts of doing good deeds in order to please Him and make a change. Insha'Allah.

Ameen.

 

[coddles76]

:enough!: =/ Sometimes, like right now, that's how it feels. a big cold despairing heart. I hate that I never see Islam everywhere. I feel that I lead a privileged life in a sheltered environment where I never feel reality. As if we all live in the illusion of this temporary luxury. I forget all the time because I never have that reminder anywhere. this may sound stupid, but sometimes I just need a huge from a sister and some kind words. But I can't find such a fix. I haven't found my group of Muslim friends yet. But that still is no excuse. I still have Allah (swt) He is the best Helper! Yes, I'll have to go through the extra effort of remembering Allah (swt), but life is a test and if I put in my best. I will be rewarded in the best I have put in.

Live in this world like you are a stranger, A stranger who is on a pitstop to his real home in the hereafter. Be a stranger, as long as you continue being a stranger you have confidence that inshAllah you are on the straight path. SubhanAllah just the other day I felt the same kind of feeling, I thought really am a stranger in this world, I see everybody around me walking, chatting, having fun, Not really worried or concerned about anything but for me I have this fear of this world and what I can provide for it so that I may have some sort of success in the hereafter. Its like I've lived for over 30 Years yet I still feel like I know nothing about this world and everything is so strange to me. And then Allah SWT speaks to me again through his Glorious Quran and this is what he says......

Quran 6:32
What is the life of this world but play and amusement? But best is the Home in the Hereafter, for those who are righteous. Will ye not then understand?

Allahu Akbar, I just got another chill through my body