He is No to me and Yes to her. Heartbroken

He was probably taken aback by the way you proposed. To be honest, in colleges there is enough fitna without sisters going proposing to brothers through friends.
But anyhow, because he said no doesnt mean you are unworthy. He could have been taken already, or not interested, not because theres anything wrong with you but simply because-hes not interested. do NOT go chasing him to see him again or whatever, dont lose your dignity. Hes a taken married man, move on with your life.

May Allah bless you with someone you are happy with :)
 
The_Prince said:
Khadeeja was the one who proposed a marriage to the prophet Muhammad, so theres nothing wrong with a sister proposing a marriage nor is it desperate.
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:)


and as sis arab said, we all get whats destined for us, khalas !



lol forget him for now sis, jus live for the day, coz 2moro's not a promise...
 
:statisfie
AnonymousGender said:
:sl: Jazakallah Kheir for all your replies, I dont think there is nothing wrong with a sister proposing I dont regret it.

Also I feel much better after reading your replies, everyone, like Eeman said the way I feel cant be put into words i passed the denial stage In my head i always though that he will come back for me, he knows where I live, and in all seriousness I really through I would marry Him, thats why it hurts even more.

I am not going to look for him or his wife he is married I guess I have to accept it and ignore the sheytan, even though I am curious to see them, I am not going to.

I dont like the unknown I like to plan things and know who I would marry I am that kinda of person but i dont know i guess is not meant to be.

I will write down all the duas that have been given to me and recite them when I am sad.
Is funny because at times I will completly forget what has happened and i would be happy but as soon as I remember that he is married i am upset again.

I think he was with her before I proposed as i heard that from someone in my selfish head i think he should have left her:-[ thats just how i feel but hey.

And I would also like to add that this was the first time of me proposing is not something I do often and is something i will never do again, he is pious and a good person I just though that people like that especially at a young age dont come often so i took my chance.
WASALAM
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:statisfie salam sis,
i pray that Insha'Allah Allah swt written for you a humble, righteous, loving, caring, understanding, respectful, merciful and kind spouse, who will treat you like a princess for the rest of your life.

so hold on to sabr and Insha'Allah Allah swt will multply your rewards and belssings showered upon you Insha'Allah.

And there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with you proposing for something that is halal, yet again Allah swt will reward you for this and your clean intentions in your heart.
 
Plenty Fish in the Sea sis. Dont worry sis it'llbe alright. Let him go. Let him be happy with his new Life n make dua that Allah blesses his marriage. You know why? Narrated from Abu Darda that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said, 'The Dua of a person for his Muslim brother in his absence will be answered. At his head there is an angel, and every time he prays for him for something good, the angel who has been appointed to be with him, says, 'Ameen, may you have likewise.' (*62)

My sweet sis In Islam, Look wat ur lord says to u:


And with Him are the keys of the Ghaib (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in (or on) the earth and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but he knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record.


Say Alhamdulilah ukthee..
[Qur'an 6/59]

You deserve a brother who has only eyes for u.:-[
 
:sl: Wow Nice masha AllAh. One thing I have noticed is that you are all very optimistic lol lately I havent been practising like I should be and he has always been pious, maybe Allah swt knows that he is too good for me and granted him a sister who is on his level piety wise.

Like someone said earlier she might not be a better deal looks wise or so however piety wise she can easily and probably is way above me.
But I am ok now I am ready to move on with my life :statisfie
Yanorah you are right I dont want to marry someone if his heart is not in it.

Aw i love you guys walahi only Allah swt knows how much your words did, it stopped from making the mistake of trying to find him.
w.salam
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl: Wow Nice masha AllAh. One thing I have noticed is that you are all very optimistic lol lately I havent been practising like I should be and he has always been pious, maybe Allah swt knows that he is too good for me and granted him a sister who is on his level piety wise.

Like someone said earlier she might not be a better deal looks wise or so however piety wise she can easily and probably is way above me.
But I am ok now I am ready to move on with my life :statisfie
Yanorah you are right I dont want to marry someone if his heart is not in it.

Aw i love you guys walahi only Allah swt knows how much your words did, it stopped from making the mistake of trying to find him.
w.salam
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Aw Thats the Spirit..Way to go Girl....:sunny:

Aww "virtual" Hug...lol ~~Hugs~~

xx luv u too sis..
 
girls DO propose to guys...

its jsut society saying that its a mans job to do.. but a guy can be shy too

so if a girl stays quiet because of her pride that a guy should ask and the guy is genuinely shy then what? it wasn't meant to be? how would you know if you haven't tried.

the guy must have had his own reasons to saying no to you. in his opinion maybe you weren't his type??

there'll be someone bett er for you, you'll realise that when mr. right comes knocking on your door:) or other way round :D
 
^ you would know it wasnt meant to be if it isnt tried.

EVen if both are shy, if its to be then one of them will come forth (in a halal manner of course) with a proposal.


if both are TOO shy, then i would just take it as a sign from Allaah that this isnt in my qadr.
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
^ you would know it wasnt meant to be if it isnt tried.

EVen if both are shy, if its to be then one of them will come forth (in a halal manner of course) with a proposal.


if both are TOO shy, then i would just take it as a sign from Allaah that this isnt in my qadr.
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yes but if you think that the person is 'amazing' then isnt it worth a shot?

yes its qadr but then u can't just sit back and say it's qadr you have to put the effort in as well... and then say it's qadr
 
^ if the whole world came together to attempt to harm a fly they wouldnt be able to if it wasnt written.

if i put in all my effort to approach this amazing person i cant if it wasnt meant to be.


thats how i look at it
 
Blue Rose said:
yes but if you think that the person is 'amazing' then isnt it worth a shot?

yes its qadr but then u can't just sit back and say it's qadr you have to put the effort in as well... and then say it's qadr
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agreed:D

its like i want to work and get into work but not apply for any jobs and say oh cos its al qadr therefore the boss of the company will knock on my door i dont need to even move a muscle.
 
Eeman said:
agreed:D

its like i want to work and get into work but not apply for any jobs and say oh cos its al qadr therefore the boss of the company will knock on my door i dont need to even move a muscle.
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EXACTLY!!! :D

if its not meant to be it won't happen i know that... but you don't know until you TRY
 
AnonymousGender said:
:sl: I hope you are all well and have good Iman and health.
About a year ago I proposed to this brother in my college, masha allah i really liked him.
I sended 2 people to him and he said he wasnt ready for marriage or something along those lines, two days ago i found he got married.
He got married 4 months ago and i am devasted.

I dont understand why he said no to me and then went to marry someone else not even giving me a chance.
I am so upset now, in my head i always though that he would come knocking at my door in a couple of years and we would live happy ever after.
But i guess i am not good enough.
He is pious and a bit of a geek so for him to get married came as a shock.

I know i am going to sound like a bunny boiler but i need to find out who he is married to and maybe just see him again, i want to see who this special girl or should i say better deal is.
i am heartbroken:cry:
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If he has married some one else, what is the loss to you, I wouldnt marry someone forgive me, if I had to propose to him.If you ever propose to anyone there is always a possibility of being declined,thats life for both men and women,it does not indicate that there is something wrong or lacking in the proposer,its just one has a right to decline.Be happy for them and God willing the right person will be brought to you.One day you will laugh about this yourself, and be thankful to the almighty.
 
Blue Rose said:
EXACTLY!!! :D

if its not meant to be it won't happen i know that... but you don't know until you TRY
Click to expand...

and you wont TRY if its not meant to be



ok best way to say it:

if i do something its coz its written
if i dont its coz its not written

you NEVER miss anything in life
you get EVERYTHING your supposed to get


if your suppose to break your hand then you will, if your suppose to go really fit you will, if your suppose to lose a leg then you will, if your suppose to get a beautiful pious partner you will, if your suppose to be heartbroken then you will etc etc, its not about the losses or test but how you react or cope with it really.



ok hope thats clear :blind:
 

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