Hello,
I'm 22 years old male from Europe (Lithuania). And here is my story: (sorry for my bad english)
Since child hood i was problem child. Bad grates, fights in school etc. After finishing school i quit almost every job i started (Im freelancer web developer). Since 18 years old i don't work i don't do shit.
All my life i loved to know other cultures. I'm laziest person in the world but i speak in 5 languages, i learned them by myself. I love reading books. One day when i was in the library i took a book about islam even because i'm an atheist. Actually im still an atheist, but all my life i was afraid of god. When i talked with my friends a lot of times i said bad things about god, bet inside i felt bad because of that. I dont know why..
So, i have read a book and whatched some documentaries about islam and i thought.. thats what i need. I dont have discipline, i'm judging people even if they didint done nothing bad for me, i dont respect women im treating them like a porn stars, i have really bad thougts. So.. I am bad person.. i thought, maybe god could help me? Because im desperet, my life is falling from my hands. Why i dont whant to be chrystian, like my parents? Because i liked islam more... culture, nice people, pray discipline.. i love that.
Summary:
I dont have girlfriend and never had. 22 still with my parents and no job. Im bad at communicating people, because im aggressive and have bad character. Im trying to be nicer to everyone but its not easy. I grow up in a shitty neighborhood, thats why im protecting myself everytime, even when im sleeping. i have only 1 friend left, but he dont have time for me because of work and girlfriend.
Im selfish, lazy, greedy and disrespectfull with bad character. I need to fix my life. I hope allah will show me the way. Because i dont who else can help me.
I'm 22 years old male from Europe (Lithuania). And here is my story: (sorry for my bad english)
Since child hood i was problem child. Bad grates, fights in school etc. After finishing school i quit almost every job i started (Im freelancer web developer). Since 18 years old i don't work i don't do shit.
All my life i loved to know other cultures. I'm laziest person in the world but i speak in 5 languages, i learned them by myself. I love reading books. One day when i was in the library i took a book about islam even because i'm an atheist. Actually im still an atheist, but all my life i was afraid of god. When i talked with my friends a lot of times i said bad things about god, bet inside i felt bad because of that. I dont know why..
So, i have read a book and whatched some documentaries about islam and i thought.. thats what i need. I dont have discipline, i'm judging people even if they didint done nothing bad for me, i dont respect women im treating them like a porn stars, i have really bad thougts. So.. I am bad person.. i thought, maybe god could help me? Because im desperet, my life is falling from my hands. Why i dont whant to be chrystian, like my parents? Because i liked islam more... culture, nice people, pray discipline.. i love that.
Summary:
I dont have girlfriend and never had. 22 still with my parents and no job. Im bad at communicating people, because im aggressive and have bad character. Im trying to be nicer to everyone but its not easy. I grow up in a shitty neighborhood, thats why im protecting myself everytime, even when im sleeping. i have only 1 friend left, but he dont have time for me because of work and girlfriend.
Im selfish, lazy, greedy and disrespectfull with bad character. I need to fix my life. I hope allah will show me the way. Because i dont who else can help me.