Help, help, help!

assalaamu alaykum,

i know plenty of brothers who married early, but that is probably because loads of the families around me are pathans and they seem to push this sunnah more than others.

was once sitting in a friends front room chatting and was talking about his neice and nephew who were 13 and 15 i think.

anyway, when he mentioned this it made something click because i knew his brother was only 30 so you do the maths yourselves!

it is kept quiet because of legal reasons but yes, if my future children wish to marry after they have passed the start of puberty then insha'allah will find them a pious partner they like and if still at school then they can live with me and the mrs.

a few 'young' couples i know have an arrangement where they live with one family during the week whilst going to school and then at the weekend stop with the other family and that seems to work well.

the other lesser option is to do the nikkah, but not move in but i say this is the lesser option because although you could spend time with that person then you still never really get to know someone until you have lived with them or travelled with them and you need to get to know your spouse 'worts and all.' i.e good and bad.

for those who say what if they grow appart?
well surely being married to someone, spending your time together in pleasing Allah will if there are changes make them grow closer together?

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud
 
Dawud_uk said:
assalaamu alaykum,

i know plenty of brothers who married early, but that is probably because loads of the families around me are pathans and they seem to push this sunnah more than others.

was once sitting in a friends front room chatting and was talking about his neice and nephew who were 13 and 15 i think.

anyway, when he mentioned this it made something click because i knew his brother was only 30 so you do the maths yourselves!

it is kept quiet because of legal reasons but yes, if my future children wish to marry after they have passed the start of puberty then insha'allah will find them a pious partner they like and if still at school then they can live with me and the mrs.

a few 'young' couples i know have an arrangement where they live with one family during the week whilst going to school and then at the weekend stop with the other family and that seems to work well.

the other lesser option is to do the nikkah, but not move in but i say this is the lesser option because although you could spend time with that person then you still never really get to know someone until you have lived with them or travelled with them and you need to get to know your spouse 'worts and all.' i.e good and bad.

for those who say what if they grow appart?
well surely being married to someone, spending your time together in pleasing Allah will if there are changes make them grow closer together?

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud
Click to expand...
subhanallah! i think brother Dawud has given the best advice which closest to the sunnah of the prophet (saw). May Allah reward you bro :amin: :w:
 
asalamualaikum sis........ u shud really think b4 takin the biggest step of ur life....... marriage isnt just support.... its the first step to compromise and alot of responsibilities..... ur mom's right on my account.... shes been through the stage and knows how life is..... do not make haste in this decision but first think maturely and with a cool mind........ will u be able to take it? after education....(God forbid) if n e thing bad happens at least u will be able to support ur children and yourself...... yet i mite be wrong

Try an istikhara....... but keep in mynd that wutever the result is....... u have 2 follow it......... PEACE BE UPON U!
 
:sl:

again i would reccommend brother Dawud's advice..he seems to know what hes on about.mashAllah

defintiely some good points there

May Allah make it easy on you sister, and give you sabr...ameen

:w:

Rabi'ya:rose:
 
Tell her that you want to get married in an instant and will not listen to a word. Give her a dead line. If he agrees, great! if she dosen't. Give her another dead line. Keep repeating the process untill she agrees.
 
before u get married... u'll sure feel so eager and longing (for companionship) to get married.:statisfie

but after u got married... hmm...then u'll know how hard it is being a wife and mother.:heated:

i guess... this is the 'fitrah' that Allah has created so that young people will get married as soon as possible:rollseyes
 
:sl:
I must say that bro Dawud has given the best advice on the thread so far..Masha'allah!
:w:
 
Pretty_najm said:
Ya Allah!

Ok, here i go....I want to get married and have a family, but I am only 17 years old and my mom is like "wait until you've finished college" and she even said I couldnt move out of the house until i had my degree. I am trying my best to wait and be patient, but Im not sure how long I can wait. I want to have companionship, someone to talk to. How do I tell my ummi what I want, when she's set on me getting married in like 4-5 yrs?

All advice is welcomed, thanks to all!

Salams(Peace)
Click to expand...
ERM why get married wen u can still be YOUNG FREE SINGLE:rollseyes :rollseyes

WAIT FEW YRS
 
Dawud_uk said:
maybe because she loves Allah and his messenger and wishes to follow the command of Rasoolullah (saws) by marrying young?
Click to expand...


Yes, I do love Allah and His messenger(PBUH) and I want to do the right thing by getting married soon or considering it soon. And also marriage is a beautiful thing to me, i know it wont be all peachy but everything has its ups and downs, no?:) Being single kinda stinks for me...ever heard the saying 'single and ready to mingle'? Im single but dont wanna mingle with the haram. I desire a husband for many reasons, the main being to please Allah and because i feel that I am ready, mentally...but anyways, im still debating

JazakAllah to you all!
 
Sis have patience and keep speaking to your parents. But if you feel it's something you really want to do, they can't make you wait.
:w:
 
~Mu'MiNaH~ said:
Sis have patience and keep speaking to your parents. But if you feel it's something you really want to do, they can't make you wait.
:w:
Click to expand...


:eek: really? But then the thought of marryin when theres soo many other troubles which aint been settled not to mention other brothers/sisters in the que gets in the way, and then its bak to fasting and coping... some people have too many obstacles :heated: May Allah help them!!
 
Assallaamu alaykum

I think I'm from a different planet for most people seem to enjoy painting the picture of marriage as one of saddness, pain, difficulty, backwardness and well, I don't know what else.

If indeed they are not of the Muslim faith, let them then refute the below verse.

(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21)

If Allah thought that marriage was going to restrict you from reaching goals like studying or working, he would have said that we should only consider marriage when we're done studying or when we're 21, 25 or a burden in our parent's homes.
 

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