Help, I have no friends

[جوري]

as Allah swt said that believers are brothers.

Yup.. Even living with things that are seemingly difficult to get through are gotten through indeed by the grace of Allah through the brothers and sisters he puts in our path amongst other ways.

 

[Who Am I?]

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

 

[CosmicPathos]

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

wsalam,

I have not been personally hurt, as I dont let people reach that position in the first place.

But there is nothing wrong with being "lonely." One's only companion should be Allah, and then his parents and siblings. That is enough for a true social bonding. Of course, making professional contacts outside, but only to further your own professional life. If you want to do something for community, start by your close family, and then distant family, that would keep you busy for the most part.

 

[Periwinkle18]

still, those ones only come from Allah, the others fall apart at the second instance if not at the first

so true... i had frnds like those once many ov em, thought they would neva leave buh they just did they don't care, they thought i had changed just because i stopped living my life their way.

srsly those true frnds only come frm Allah...

 

[Bintulislam]

Assalamu Alaikum Sister Arachanide!

Hey! Will you befriend me in the virtual world? Are you a medic?

 

[ardianto]

One thing that I am very grateful for in life is I have a lot of friends. Although I am a quiet person who can not talk long, and in fact I am an introvert who sometimes want to have time to being alone.

Maybe because I am active in various activities that make a lot of meeting people. And if I meet someone new, I always take the initiative to introduce myself and start a conversation with a few brief words such "sunny day, isn't it?", or "do you live in...?".

Although I am a quiet person who can't talk long and do not have confidence to speak in front of public, I trained myself to build a relationship with other people.

When I was a little kid I was a shy boy, but my mommy always remind me, if I did not introduce myself when I meet new people, and if I did not talk with people who I know, people would mark me as arrogant person.

Alhamdulillah, that made me have many friends and made my life so colorful.

 

[Rhubarb Tart]

But there is nothing wrong with being "lonely." One's only companion should be Allah, and then his parents and siblings.

I guess the prophet (SWT) and the companions were colleagues rather than friends?


Hence: maybe it is your attitude that alienates you from other people. Just a thought…

 

[ardianto]

Oranges, everyone?. It's Pakistani kinnow orange, fresh and delicious.


Yaah, this is a disadvantage of virtual world friendship. I cannot share my oranges, and we cannot feel something together. But virtual world friendship has it own advantage. No distance, I can have friends from various places in the world.

 

[Bintulislam]

Oranges, everyone?. It's Pakistani kinnow orange, fresh and delicious.


Yaah, this is a disadvantage of virtual world friendship. I cannot share my oranges, and we cannot feel something together. But virtual world friendship has it own advantage. No distance, I can have friends from various places in the world.

Well, true that. But the proper way of pronouncing Owange in Urdu would be Key-nu.

 

[Bintulislam]

I used to be a lot like brother Cosmic, so I understand his concerns. I was hurt and betrayed in my past, and for a long time, I kept myself closed off to anyone else. It is still difficult for me to trust anyone, and the few friends I do have, I have through slowly letting my guard down and opening up to them.

I finally had to realize that I was going to be very lonely if I didn't learn to trust anyone, so I gradually had to open up to some people.

Know what Brother, I think as human beings we're all imperfect. And we're all alike. Yes, it is difficult to trust people after they've been trusted and proved themselves a fail. But sometimes it's us who fall short of others' expectations too. I have suffered from being weary of others too but I find it easy to forgive and also I now believe in an interesting philosophy suggested by a friend and that is 'I owe no one nothing'.

 

[Amat Allah]

and also none owe you a thing...with also this part ; you won`t suffer but will live your lives freely...

 

[real islam]

Amat Allah.
Thanks

 

[Amat Allah]

You are very truely so welcome O my respected and noble brother at any time; but humbly, why to thank me and for what? May Allah love you, Be pleased with ya and give ya the best always and forever Ameeen

 

[GodIsAll]

For the record:

I would be happy to befriend any reader. PM me if you need an open ear or would like to chat.

I will be here for you as best I can!

Peace

 

[Sunnie Ameena]

I am 52 years old, and have had a few really good friends in my life, but for whatever reasons, we have grown apart. It has been many years since I have had a really close friend. I always find that I am the one to always work harder to keep the relationship strong. So, after a while, I give up. I really don't look for friends outside of my family anymore, but who knows, maybe I will find one. Of course my wonderful husband is and has been my best friend since we got married.
I loved the video, and I thank you for sharing. And I am always here, in case someone needs someone to talk to. I may not have the answers you want, but I will always be here.
Sunnie Ameena

 

[786Kal]

This comment I wanted to address to so this girl and syed1.

Your comments are sad but don't give up. For every friend you don't have or for every hurt you suffer. Allah S.W.T.A is there. Watching, guiding and helping. I have no friends and I can honestly say I'm happy. And Ramadan is the best time to make friends.

 

[SittingInPlace]

I have no friends. Every where I go it seems like people come in my life and they eventually leave so now I've learned that no good thing lasts and I never get attached to anyone emotionally. My own father won't speak to me. it aches me inside. I don't know what to do. It feel like everywhere I go I am being reject, from job interviews from forums like this one whom won't even give me access to the brother section. It is quite unfortunate. But I'm use to it so it doesn't phase me.

This was a good video, but to be honest although everything he said was absolutely true there are times when people need a human connection, a shoulder to cry on or some one to talk to. Last night I wept, silently. I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm 20 years old male and I'm trying my best to adhere to my faith after living a foul lifestyle for so long. I go to the mosque frequently now, and I remember Allah constantly. I try to keep a smile on my face, as the prophet would and I try to follow his sunnah as much as I can. but I realized I am very fragile and could literally break any moment..

I don't know what going to happen to me. I don't know what my purpose in life is (in terms of career etc). TBH I wish I'd die a peaceful death, with a smile on my face and the shahada on my tongue and just rest in my grave till the day of qiymah. Obviously I have no idea if I have been forgiven or not so I hope that Allah will have mercy on me. I still fear death because I don't know what will happen but I guess all we can do is hope and fear.

I know that this is a bit of an old post (a few years actually ha), but I couldn't read it without commenting. Everything you've said in this comment sounds like my life exactly (minus a few details). It was almost as if reading something that I wrote myself. I hope that things have improved for you brother, and if they haven't then I'll pray that they will. Ameen.

 

[BeTheChange]

Asalamualykum,

Sometimes having a few or no friends is better for us.

Think about all the sins we save ourselves from; back-biting, lying, gossiping, wasting time and so on.

Too much socialisation is very bad for us as it hardens our hearts.

Everything in moderation in sha Allah.