Help. Little Boys Exploring Their Privates

[mopz]

Salaams. We live in a complex with other houses within the same yard, and there are a few kids of the same age, including mine who play with each other happily as kids do. The mother to one of them messaged me to say she caught my boy (8 years) and her boy (7) in her house half undressed exploring each other (my words). She is more worried than fuming, and I understand. It is not the first time this has happened between the two, and both times my boy has been made to be the guilty one, as he is older. Yet I also say he is still a child.

Both my wife and I were/are of course very bothered, and took action by disciplining him, making him sit down and understand it's wrong, and why it's wrong. Alhamdulillah life moved on. Then the same thing apparently happened another time, and the mother once again came barging in to complain to my wife. As it turned out another older kid was there, and the 7 year boy (6 at that time) was lying for whatever reason, as my 8 year old (7 years then) was not even present when her son complained to her. My son was proven innocent, yet the mother did not once came to apologise for her false accusations.

More importantly, now that it has happened again, and could be happening more frequently than I'd like to imagine, how do you suggest I deal with this? On the one hand, they are children, and the internet tells me that it's normal as part of their sexual development growing https://www.healthychildren.org/Eng...ol/Pages/Sexual-Behaviors-Young-Children.aspx or this https://sexpositivefamilies.com/how-to-respond-to-genital-play-between-kids/ or this https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/child-sexual-play-abuse.htm. On the other hand, it could very well be a disturbing trend, and also that these websites don't use deen as a basis, but chances are also their research is based on their own societies which we would never consider normal or Islamic. I plead to Allah to guide me, and protect our children as I pray 2 rakaat salaah and prostrate before Him.

Some help here please;

1. What does the deen teach us regarding this? Are there any hadith or stories I can draw from? How do I teach my boy? Counselling for the boy?
2. Is it something to be concerned about? The other mother suggests it may be happening at school, and that's where my son is bringing it from.
3. Do I defend my boy? I fear my child will have a label on him as he grows up.
4. How do I deal with this situation together with both families?


Sorry, but I haven't been able to articulate as I want to. May Allah bless you all. JazakAllah

 

[xboxisdead]

Salaams. We live in a complex with other houses within the same yard, and there are a few kids of the same age, including mine who play with each other happily as kids do. The mother to one of them messaged me to say she caught my boy (8 years) and her boy (7) in her house half undressed exploring each other (my words). She is more worried than fuming, and I understand. It is not the first time this has happened between the two, and both times my boy has been made to be the guilty one, as he is older. Yet I also say he is still a child.

Both my wife and I were/are of course very bothered, and took action by disciplining him, making him sit down and understand it's wrong, and why it's wrong. Alhamdulillah life moved on. Then the same thing apparently happened another time, and the mother once again came barging in to complain to my wife. As it turned out another older kid was there, and the 7 year boy (6 at that time) was lying for whatever reason, as my 8 year old (7 years then) was not even present when her son complained to her. My son was proven innocent, yet the mother did not once came to apologise for her false accusations.

More importantly, now that it has happened again, and could be happening more frequently than I'd like to imagine, how do you suggest I deal with this? On the one hand, they are children, and the internet tells me that it's normal as part of their sexual development growing https://www.healthychildren.org/Eng...ol/Pages/Sexual-Behaviors-Young-Children.aspx or this https://sexpositivefamilies.com/how-to-respond-to-genital-play-between-kids/ or this https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/child-sexual-play-abuse.htm. On the other hand, it could very well be a disturbing trend, and also that these websites don't use deen as a basis, but chances are also their research is based on their own societies which we would never consider normal or Islamic. I plead to Allah to guide me, and protect our children as I pray 2 rakaat salaah and prostrate before Him.

Some help here please;

1. What does the deen teach us regarding this? Are there any hadith or stories I can draw from? How do I teach my boy? Counselling for the boy?
2. Is it something to be concerned about? The other mother suggests it may be happening at school, and that's where my son is bringing it from.
3. Do I defend my boy? I fear my child will have a label on him as he grows up.
4. How do I deal with this situation together with both families?


Sorry, but I haven't been able to articulate as I want to. May Allah bless you all. JazakAllah

First of all, boys will experiment and do things like this, you already told him what he did is wrong. The fault now goes on the parent's side. The other boy who is happily experimenting with your son means that you guys left these boys alone unsupervised. I guarantee you 100% that no boy in planet Earth would dare do anything like this when an adult (especially the parents) are present in the same spot. But you separated the boys alone from any supervision it end up been the same as you have a stranger boy mixed with a stranger girl alone and the devil will be in between them. Don't forget, lots of boys nowadays have feminized features, pretty, good looking, beardless youth, etc...leaviong your son mixed like this with other boy. You didn't learn from the previous experience left your son again playing with another boy, chances are unsupervised is shame on you. Without you knowing this...this behavior could alter his interest and this can be a permenant affect where he is into boys and not girls and he will grow up gay.

I am not saying he should not interact with the same gender...NO. I am saying he should not interact with anyone unsupervised. Please DON'T HIT YOUR SON, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. This is your role to teach and descipline your son correctly and remove that other boy from his life permenantely. Have him find another boy to befriend and be there 100% when he is around other boys...eventually, insha'allah, he will grow out of it.

Oh, please don't look at these sites. They are led by Kafir and their opinion hold little weight or value to us. I have no doubt most of them are run by special deviant interest group who wishes to spread homosexuality. Please ignore them. As parents one of you need to be there all the time while your son plays with other boys, perferably, the dad. You. I prefer the father to be there. THAT ENERGY you throw out there like solar wave from the son will put all the boys straight. They will behave so well, they will not do these acts at all in your present. But you need to be a parent, watch him, not bring an iPhone and have your face on the mobile screen, or get bored super fast and leave them alone or....OOh one last thing: Something this sensitive should not be posted in public forms, where any stranger or any uneducated one at that will just simply give you advise that you really should obtain from a legit scholar or shiekh in a mosque where you meet face to face. Like me for example? Or any other person who replies to this post.

 

[Abz2000]

You just gotta pray and install the setting in his malleable mind that it's wrong, buying/downloading some books and downloading some videos containing the story of Lut pbuh should help if you introduce him to the stories of other Prophets first who dealt with other types of corruption.

Notice that there is an element of mockery by Allah SWT in the Quran when quoting the answer of Lut's people when they tried to rape the angels, and also bear in mind though that mockery can have a reverse effect if not applied prudently.