help me forget about the one i know i cant be with..........

[Shorty x]

salaamz sisters and brothers,

Apologies for my absence,i came down with a terrible flu,hot/cold temperatures, bad cough etc etc, i have alot to read upon and catch up.

Im in a bit of a dilemma, and was wondering if anyone could help me, for the last two n a half years, i met this guy, he was really nice etc . after getting to know each other, he told me how he felt about me, i think deep down i must have liked him back, but never admitted it to myself, as ive never got myself in to relationships etc, because im against them.

So, when he told me that he liked me,and that he wanted to be in a relationship etc, or get to know each other, i told him, that my feelings about relationships remained and i would never really pursue one , no matter how much i liked that guy. Plus i knew, that it would never have worked, hes from a family who believe in marrying the same kind, i.e pathaan marrying pathaan, . so therefore there was no point in even trying. Plus he wasnt really a decent guy, as i knew he smoked weed etc, but he never showed that side to me. but he still did it.

We are still friends, but not as close as we used to be, we've had many lil conversations since then, about us..... and what could have been, but we did both decide that it was for the best, as his family would never have agreed with it.

i think i did actually like him from the start, and i always have done, this has never happend to me before, i never let myself get attracted to anyone, or let them etc. but two n half years later, and i still cant get over him. The littlest things annoy me, when hes talking about girls, or talking to girls, etc. i dont show it, but just deep down it does effect me. i feel really bad, I read my namaaz, and i have asked for everything , to help me forget about him.

i was wondering are there any specific dua's i can read that can help me. I admit this is all my fault, for getting to close, and even talking to him in the first place. i just need to forget and move on, otherwise ill always be stuck in this state.

hope someone can help me.

Thank you

Wsalaamz

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

increase your knowledge of islaam...

i cant think of anything which can help you more then this...


Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

"Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the life to come and keep us safe from the torment of the Fire" (2:201)

"Our Lord! Bestow on us endurance and make our foothold sure and give us help against those who reject faith." (2:250)

"Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear, grant us forgiveness and have mercy on us. You are our Protector. Help us against those who deny the truth." (2:286)

"Our Lord! Let not our hearts deviate from the truth after You have guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Your grace. Verily You are the Giver of bounties without measure." (3:8)

"Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and the lack of moderation in our doings, and make firm our steps and succour us against those who deny the truth." (3:147)

"Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and efface our bad deeds and take our souls in the company of the righteous." (3:193)

"Our Lord! We have sinned against ourselves, and unless You grant us forgiveness and bestow Your mercy upon us, we shall most certainly be lost!" (7:23)

"Our Lord! Place us not among the people who have been guilty of evildoing." (7:47)

"Our Lord! Lay open the truth between us and our people, for You are the best of all to lay open the truth." (7:89)

"Our Lord! In You we have placed our trust, and to You do we turn in repentance, for unto You is the end of all journeys." (60:4)
​

 

[------]

:salamext:

^^^ Mashaa Allaah, some good dua's.

 

[Al-Zaara]

Selam aleykum sister,

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, can't even count how many similiar I have seen happen subhanAllah.. May Allah protect us!!
It's good you're repenting about this and wishing to get over this man, it is better for you sister. Ask Allah for help and forgiveness, sincere forgiveness and He will answer inshaAllah. But sister remember, if you keep doing the same sin (talking to him, being with him etc), your dua might not be answered. So...


1 - Stop talking to him, less and less each day... Don't let him come to you and start a big conversation, let him pass away, go away from him, because that is the smartest for you to do. Keep in mind, as you ignore and avoid him, that there is inshaAllah something better in store for you, you DESERVE a good Muslim man, you deserve to have it through the halal way, you deserve to achieve it (find a good man) through Allah's mercy and love and not through Shaytaan's trap.

2 - Sister Umm Hurairah gave some great dua's there, mashaAllah. As you see they are from the Qur'an, if you don't speak Arabic then it's still possible for you to find the same dua with romanized Arabic. Of course you can say it in English too, but hey, if you try it in Arabic you'll be one step closer to know more of the Qur'an, inshaAllah. It's good for one to occupie every free time with either studies/work or of course, remembrance of Allah. Much dhikr is good for the soul!

3 - As I said in the beginning, one must keep asking for forgiveness and pray for guidance and strong Emaan inshaAllah. "Seek forgiveness of your Lord. Verily he is ever most forgiving" it says in surah Nuh. You must do much isteghfar (seek forgiveness).

------​

The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, said: "The master of invocations for forgiveness is that the servant says:​

'Allãhumma 'anta rabbee, lã 'ilãha 'illã 'anta, khalaqtanee, wa 'anã `abduka, wa 'anã `alã `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu, 'a`outhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, 'aboo'u laka bini`matika 'alayya, wa 'aboo'u bithambee, faghfirlee fa'innahu lã yaghfiru 'aththunooba 'illã 'anta.​

O' my 'ilãh You are my Lord, there is no 'ilãh but You. You created me, and I am your bondservant, and I will stick to my covenant and promise [of faith and sincere obedience] to You, as to my ability. I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done, I acknowledge, to You, your bounties upon me, and I acknowledge, to You, my sin. Thus forgive me, for none forgives sins except You.​

Whoever says this as he enters upon evening, then, dies that night, he would enter Paradise; and if one says this as he enters upon morning, then, dies that day, he would enter Paradise". [Al-Bukhari]​

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It is reported in Saheeh Muslim that he said: "I seek forgiveness one hundred times in a day." [Muslim]​

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`Abdullah ibn `Umar said: We counted in a single sitting the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam, saying one hundred times:​

"Rabbi-ghfir-lee wa tub `alayya innaka anta-t-tawwabu-l-ghafoor."​

[My Lord, forgive me and accept my repentance, verily you are Acceptor of Repentance, Oft-Forgiving.]​

[Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah]​

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​

اللهم اغفر لي ذنبي كلو, دقه وجله, واوله, وآخره, وعلانيته وسره

Allahum-maghfirli dhanbi kullahu,diqqahu,​

wajillahu, wa awwa-lahu, wa aakhirahu ​

wa 'ala-niyyatu wa sirrahu.​

(Oh Allah, Forgive me all my sins,​

great and small, the first and the last, ​

those that are apparent and those that are hidden)​

[Muslim:1/350]​

----​

اللهم اني اعوذ برضاك من سخطك, وبمعافاتك من عقوبتك, واعوذ بك منك, لااحصي ثنء عليك انت كما اثنيت على نفسك

Allahumma inni a'udhu bika bi ridaaka min sakhatika, wa bi mu'a-faatika min oqu-batika, ​

wa a'udhu bika minka, la uhise thanaa'an 'alaiyka anta kama ath-naiyta 'ala nafsika.​

(Oh Allah, I seek Protection in Your Pleasure​

from Your Anger, and I seek Protection in Your​

Forgiveness from Your Punishment. I Seek Protection in You from You. I cannot count Your Praises. You are as You have Praised Yourself.)​

[Muslim 1/352]


​

Here and here you can find some more duas the like, with both in Arabic, romanized pronunciation and translation!


InshaAllah, this will all be over soon sis!! You're in my dua's, bi'idhnillah!

 

[adeeb]

do some activities to forget about him temporary, until both of you ready for marriage...

read those beautiful duas and with strong will, i'm sure you can...

 

[The Ruler]

It's all been said in the above posts, and I don't have much to suggest. Except for the fact that he still smoked "but he never showed that side" to you. What else has he been doing? how much do you know him?

Oh yes. You've known him. You've knon him inside out; and yet I ask you, how much?

No, this is not a thing to tell you to talk to him more and get to know him better.

The littlest things annoy me, when hes talking about girls, or talking to girls, etc.

That's understandable. Best thing to do is to not talk at all, and ignore the facts that come flying to you.

Meditate. Pray. Distract yourself. Go to the gym if it helps.

May Allah give you strength to get out of this... mess.

 

[Shorty x]

Salaamz,

Thank you everyone for there advice, and most of all the Dua's that you have provided for me, I have started reading these , and already feel that little bit stronger.

I dont talk to him as much as i used to, so im getting better at that too.
I know he might be wondering whats wrong etc , but i will stay strong and not answer to him.

May Allah' keep you and your families in good health.

Aslama alaikum