HELP !!! need ur help ASAP!!

[ishkabab]

NEED ADVISE FAST!!!!

well i know someone personally whos raised here in new york ....she's also wants to get married but is facing many problems because her parents are not with her....unfortunetly her parents dont agree with doing pardah nor do they like niqab or hijab....she's very strong in taqwah mashAllah ...she covers with full hijab and niqab and she's young mashAllah but the sad thing is she doesnt know what to do ...she even planned on running away to a different country like egypt just to so she can seclude herself...she says she wants to get married to a good muslim brother but she's not the type of girl thats goes looking around 4 a guy to get married to....she says whenever Allah Tala wills then and only then will it happen ....but unfortunetly she doesnt know any muslim sister or anybody in Egypt or else she would have left by now ...Really
she believes that there she will get married and live there if Allah wills....
any advice people?......anybody know a muslim sister in Egypt?.....plz help !
__________________

 

[SirZubair]

asalam alaikum :

1)running to egypt isnt going to solve her problems.

2)running away from her parents isnt going to solve her problem.

3)sitting around saying "..it will happen when allah want its to happen..." isnt going to help her get married.

She should stay PUT,she should keep in touch with her Parents,and she should seek a Husband through the help of the Family members,or maybe even the community.
It is the responsibility of the muslim community to find partners for any unmarried female who wants to get married,if the community refuses to do so,they have oppressed her.

When she meets a potential partner,she should make her views on hijab/niqab very clear to him,if he accepts,then she should go ahead and get married.If not,then keep on searching.There are hundreds,thousands,millions of muslim men out there.

 

[saad52988]

salaam,
i agree with the above, you should stay in New York, do not stop veiling yourself and make dua to ALLAH(SWT) to help you.
go to the community and ask for help, you could even go to a masjid and ask the imaam to help you find someone.
just my 2cents!!!
WASLAAM

 

[zircon]

Salam,
i agree that running away wont solve the prob. and yes she needs to keep in touch with her parents.. shows that islam doesnt cut off the relationship between parents and their daughter though now they're differ in religion.. we'll pray for the best of her wellbeing. Allah grants her, inshaAllah

 

[ishkabab]

salaam,
i agree with the above, you should stay in New York, do not stop veiling yourself and make dua to ALLAH(SWT) to help you.
go to the community and ask for help, you could even go to a masjid and ask the imaam to help you find someone.
just my 2cents!!!
WASLAAM

listen i gotta say its not me...lol
yeh telling the masjid might help maybe....oh yeh she lives with her parents its just they dont agree with what she does...and she wants to marry somebody pious ....but they dont want her to....so what is she suppose to do?

 

[Dhulqarnaeen]

NEED ADVISE FAST!!!!

well i know someone personally whos raised here in new york ....she's also wants to get married but is facing many problems because her parents are not with her....unfortunetly her parents dont agree with doing pardah nor do they like niqab or hijab....she's very strong in taqwah mashAllah ...she covers with full hijab and niqab and she's young mashAllah but the sad thing is she doesnt know what to do ...she even planned on running away to a different country like egypt just to so she can seclude herself...she says she wants to get married to a good muslim brother but she's not the type of girl thats goes looking around 4 a guy to get married to....she says whenever Allah Tala wills then and only then will it happen ....but unfortunetly she doesnt know any muslim sister or anybody in Egypt or else she would have left by now ...Really
she believes that there she will get married and live there if Allah wills....
any advice people?......anybody know a muslim sister in Egypt?.....plz help !
__________________

Masha Allah, what a tough situation she is in, may Allah help her and make everything easier on her. I think its best you advice her to:
1. Tell her to stay istiqomah with her iman and tell her that she is on the right path and give her spirit and support.
2. Tell her to keep staying with her parent as strong as she can. Leaving the parents wont solve anything. And she should know better, its not only her who want to go to heaven, but also her parent. Its just they dont know what is right yet. So its need da'wah and explanation. But since you didnt mention wether her parent are muslim or non muslim then....if theyre kafeer, then show how muslims children respect their parents. Give them attention more, talk soft to them and give them advices and explanations about Islam softly but also stright and distinct. Then she will need to learn more about Islam to make her self clear so her parent can understand. IF her parent are muslim and just egnorant, then its sometimes a bit harder If they against whatever she say cause typical attitude of parent sometimes they always think they know better than their children. But sometimes easier too if the parent able to talk with logic and want to accept explanation and differences in family.
3. She shouldnt express her self in some condition which will give her worse image and make the situation harder. Maybe by wearing hijab have made her looked bad in front of her family, then plus niqab it will make the situation worse. First we should see the ruling of these, between hijab and niqab. Hijab is wajiib for every muslimah, no ikhtilaf between ulama about this matter according to Qur'an and sunnah from salafus shalih. And what about niqab? Wearing niqab is sunnah (there are two opinions about the ruling of niqab, some ulama said wajib, but more ulama said its sunnah, so the stronger opinion is its sunnah wearing niqab). So wearing niqab is sunnah and its about excelence and yes its better for muslimah to wear niqab BUT in certain situation, if by wearing niqab will put her in a really bad situation then better leave it. Just wear hijab ( I mean with hijab is wearing jubah and khimar) and its enough for her. If her parents understand Islam better and ready to accept the differences then she may continue wearing her niqab. Cause if just to get something thats sunnah will cause bigger problem then its better leave it temporarily while doing da'wah till the situation getting better.
4. I think shes still young, I think its best for her to do dawah first to family since they also need help and they also want to enter heaven. If I was her, I will choose to educate my family first and then get maried. Cause its a terrible feeling to see our parents is lost. Dont you will feel sorry if she ever go to egypt and one day she will hear that her parents die in egnorance or even kafeer? Its a big regret I think.
Thats all my suggestion, insha Allah I hope it can help.

 

[The Ruler]

dunno if i can help....but i dnt fink dat goin ta egypt wud b da best solution....i fink dat she shud tell er parents bout da kinds person she wants ta get married ta...she shud try ta get er parents involved in islam more...try n guide dem....get wat i mean?....but 1 fings for sure....she shudnt run away cuz das gnna make a bad name. n if she wud go anywer....well i dnt fink egypt's da best place is it?.....sis ishkebab, cuz u no er, u cud help er find a pious guy to marry cant ya?

 

[ishkabab]

JazakAllah brother Dhulqarnaeen ...well my friend is almost 20 and well that is still kindah young i think...but if her parents dont mind if she leaves isnt that ok?..like they're the type of parents that dont care..that never payed any attention to her...that only thought about themselves....

 

[ishkabab]

dunno if i can help....but i dnt fink dat goin ta egypt wud b da best solution....i fink dat she shud tell er parents bout da kinds person she wants ta get married ta...she shud try ta get er parents involved in islam more...try n guide dem....get wat i mean?....but 1 fings for sure....she shudnt run away cuz das gnna make a bad name. n if she wud go anywer....well i dnt fink egypt's da best place is it?.....sis ishkebab, cuz u no er, u cud help er find a pious guy to marry cant ya?

:'( :-\ i cant i wish i could but i cant really.....really i cant :heated:
i cant explain....

 

[The Ruler]

:'( :-\ i cant i wish i could but i cant really.....really i cant :heated:
i cant explain....

ok ok.....i gues dat da only solution is to talk to er parents....or hey! is der da kind of organisations dat help muslim youth in america....lyk wer she livs?....cuz dey myt help :?

 

[ishkabab]

im not sure ...maybe ..i dunno really...

 

[Dhulqarnaeen]

JazakAllah brother Dhulqarnaeen ...well my friend is almost 20 and well that is still kindah young i think...but if her parents dont mind if she leaves isnt that ok?..like they're the type of parents that dont care..that never payed any attention to her...that only thought about themselves....

If she want to get married then get married in there cause she may not leave her town/country without mahram. Cause its haram for a women to leave their town without mahram. And then after that the best is to do hijrah and life among muslims in muslim country such as Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Indonesia, and anywhere.

 

[ishkabab]

If she want to get married then get married in there cause she may not leave her town/country without mahram. Cause its haram for a women to leave their town without mahram. And then after that the best is to do hijrah and life among muslims in muslim country such as Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Indonesia, and anywhere.

hmm thats very true...she herself is pretty scared to leave alone...and its best to go with a mehram of course...i dunno man....:heated:
how is she gonna find a good bro here?...she's not gonna go around lookin is she?...

 

[Woodrow]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Is it possible that the young lady is a bit more emotional then rational? Emotions are nice and they are given to us for a purpose and for our enjoyment, but an easy error is to let our emotions come into control.

Some things have not been stated or if they have been stated I missed them.

Is the Young lady a Revert?

Are her parents Muslim?

I ask these questions because there must be some reason she seems to have so little contact or support from the local Muslim community.
These factors can make a difference in the best manner to advise and support her.

 

[SirZubair]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Is it possible that the young lady is a bit more emotional then rational?

Sounds like it.. :hiding:

 

[SirZubair]

how is she gonna find a good bro here?...she's not gonna go around lookin is she?...

When and If she goes to egypt,how is she going to find a husband there?

Obviously she will seek help from the community,wont she?

Just like that,she should seek help from the community she lives within right now.

wa'salaam

 

[ishkabab]

When and If she goes to egypt,how is she going to find a husband there?

Obviously she will seek help from the community,wont she?

Just like that,she should seek help from the community she lives within right now.

wa'salaam

Definetly she should inshAllah....so what are u suggesting she should do?...meaning if she ask's within the community then how should she start?.....im not to well at knowing these things so i wouldnt be able to help....

 

[SirZubair]

Definetly she should inshAllah....so what are u suggesting she should do?...meaning if she ask's within the community then how should she start?.....im not to well at knowing these things so i wouldnt be able to help....

Asalam alaikum Sis

First thing she should do is get in touch with the Local Imam,ask him to get the word out that she is a single muslim female who is seeking a pious husband.

Wait for afew weeks,then get in touch with some of the pious men / women in town and ask them to do the same thing.

Having done that,proposals will start coming her way in no-time.Insha'allah.

Its as hard as she makes it for herself,and its as easy as she makes it for herself.

At the end of the day,Only allah s.w.t and She,herself,can help her.

Wa;salaam

-Zubair

 

[ishkabab]

Asalam alaikum Sis

First thing she should do is get in touch with the Local Imam,ask him to get the word out that she is a single muslim female who is seeking a pious husband.

Wait for afew weeks,then get in touch with some of the pious men / women in town and ask them to do the same thing.

Having done that,proposals will start coming her way in no-time.Insha'allah.

Its as hard as she makes it for herself,and its as easy as she makes it for herself.

At the end of the day,Only allah s.w.t and She,herself,can help her.

Wa;salaam

-Zubair

JAzakAllah....SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! .....i mean REALLY!!!!!!!!! i'll tell u guys what happened next inshAllah...