Help Please

[*shamz*]

asalamalaekum,

i need some advice...
i have no blood related sisters so i ask u advide as if u r my sister.


well, imma hard workin individual n i com first in my whole year...

i get 2 go out wiv my friends like once every 3 months o so... n if i dnt go out i can sense my personality deteriate. but wen i do go out i get a huge morale boost.

well my problem is d school prom.. i now its a common problem, n i sought afta so many advice n decided nt to go....

but at my school prom all d teachers will be dere, no alcohol allowed, we hav 2 buy d drinks ourself and there wud be security guards there...

i asked my dad before n he got angry with me and said don't go.. he was lookin at me disappointed and accusingly... i done nothing wrong?

all my friends in fact everyones going and this is d last time we will get to see eachother as we will go our separate ways to sixthform..

before everone wasn't interested but now all r going n i will be the odd one out they will think all i do is study study study and nothing else "which is kind of true" but i don't want them to remember me as the isolated, lonely loser in the year.

as i have respect for myself n i observe the hijab physically and mentally everyone respects me n i dont want to be seen as an isolated swot.

because im a good daughter n i do respect my parents every word

i have never argued with them o said a swear word to anyone. i dont swear...

i try to be right at all times but it feels like its back firing.

i dnt celebrate my birthday and itz been 5 years since i went to any of my family friends house becase parents had there differences. i have no cousins here so my life has revolved around the family mostly.

my firnds make me feel human n they r all i got. i dnt tell them all my feelings as i'd look like a right numpty.

im askin advice about the prom if u lost me halfway.
sorry if i wrote a lot..

 

[Muhammad]

Wa Alaykum Assalaam Warahmatullaah,

If I may also contribute - the prom seems a bad idea. Will there be freemixing between boys and girls? Music? Dancing? These are sufficient reasons for you not to go. And most likely it's the reason your father doesn't want you to go. To go to such a place with Hijab seems to contradict it, if that place will not oberve the modesty that Islam calls for. Shaytan will try to tempt you to go, but don't worry about the people. Think about Allaah (swt). Your aim is to please Him, not the people. (And I'm assuming that the prom will involve the evil mentioned above). Besides, your father said not to go, so that's another good reason why you shouldn't.

Regarding friends and social life - you can still meet up with them some other time Insha'Allaah. Perhaps you can arrange something, or some other event will come up Insha'Allaah. Ultimately, try to ensure the people you socialise with will not harm your faith, because companionship can have a huge impact on a person and in Islam we are told to be careful about whom we befriend.

Do whatever is best for your deen, and ask Allaah (swt) to help you, guide you and make it easy for you. May He (swt) aid you in this, Aameen.

 

[Güven]

Excellent advice :thumbs_up


Trust me sis , It's soo not worth it. The people who go there couldn't care less if you go or not. I was asked many times to go a party but I always rejected ,
I once went to a school party though ( I wasn't practising then) and even when I wasn't practising, I didn't want to go but I did it just to please my friends and you know what it was the most boring experience I ever had!
Im sooooo glad that I never went to such places again.

Staying home , calling some friends, watching a movie or something is much and much more fun than going to a place full of temptations and boringness and BS.

 

[Muhammad]

Interestingly I just happened to stumble across this. It's from a Khutbah by Muhammad Al-Shareef:

We should sit and be with those people who truly love Allah (Sub’haanahu Wa Ta’ala) and spend our time with them. In Surat Al Kahf, Allah (Sub’haanahu Wa Ta’ala) says,

سَيَقُولُونَ ثَلَاثَةٌ رَّابِعُهُمْ كَلْبُهُمْ وَيَقُولُونَ خَمْسَةٌ سَادِسُهُمْ كَلْبُهُمْ رَجْمًا بِالْغَيْبِ وَيَقُولُونَ سَبْعَةٌ وَثَامِنُهُمْ كَلْبُهُمْ​

"(Some) say they were three, the dog being the fourth among them; (others) say they were five, the dog being the sixth,- doubtfully guessing at the unknown; (yet others) say they were seven, the dog being the eighth." (S18.V22)
​

Allah (Sub’haanahu Wa Ta’ala) mentions the dog of the ahl al kahf (people of the cave). Allah (Sub’haanahu Wa Ta’ala ) in this verse mentions the dog so many times. The scholars have said that look at the position of the dog in this life, and he has no position to remember but this dog out of all the dogs was mentioned in the Quran so many times. why? It was because of the companions that the dog had, the companions that he was with. So if a dog is going to be mentioned in the Quran so many times, you can imagine when someone spends his time with the people that Allah (Sub’haanahu Wa Ta’ala ) loves, how much his level will be raised just because of that companionship that he chose to take. As the Prophet (Sal Allahu alayhi Wa Sallam) taught us, that good companion is like a person who sells musk, even if the companion doesn’t give you any musk, you are going to benefit form the smell and fragrance of the musk.

 

[crayon]

Sis, do you have any muslim girlfriends? Organize a halal kinda prom with them! Anasheed instead of music, all girls, etc.
Or go out to dinner at a nice fancy place to celebrate graduation, or go on a trip somewhere.. anything for a halal change of routine.

Trust me, even if you do go, you'll feel out of place. Everyone is going to be dancing with guys- which you won't be able to do. Proms aren't always alcohol free, even if there are teachers supervising, things start one way and end another. People will get wasted and you'll have to drive everyone home. Plus there's the after party, and everyone knows what the point of that is. What's left to do but stand at the side and watch everyone else party like there's no tomorrow?

 

[crayon]

Just came across this article, found it interesting.

"Ohio Christian school tells student to skip prom"


link

 

[MuslimahBlue]

asalamalaekum,

i need some advice...
i have no blood related sisters so i ask u advide as if u r my sister.


well, imma hard workin individual n i com first in my whole year...

i get 2 go out wiv my friends like once every 3 months o so... n if i dnt go out i can sense my personality deteriate. but wen i do go out i get a huge morale boost.

well my problem is d school prom.. i now its a common problem, n i sought afta so many advice n decided nt to go....

but at my school prom all d teachers will be dere, no alcohol allowed, we hav 2 buy d drinks ourself and there wud be security guards there...

i asked my dad before n he got angry with me and said don't go.. he was lookin at me disappointed and accusingly... i done nothing wrong?

all my friends in fact everyones going and this is d last time we will get to see eachother as we will go our separate ways to sixthform..

before everone wasn't interested but now all r going n i will be the odd one out they will think all i do is study study study and nothing else "which is kind of true" but i don't want them to remember me as the isolated, lonely loser in the year.

as i have respect for myself n i observe the hijab physically and mentally everyone respects me n i dont want to be seen as an isolated swot.

because im a good daughter n i do respect my parents every word

i have never argued with them o said a swear word to anyone. i dont swear...

i try to be right at all times but it feels like its back firing.

i dnt celebrate my birthday and itz been 5 years since i went to any of my family friends house becase parents had there differences. i have no cousins here so my life has revolved around the family mostly.

my firnds make me feel human n they r all i got. i dnt tell them all my feelings as i'd look like a right numpty.

im askin advice about the prom if u lost me halfway.
sorry if i wrote a lot..

Salamuaalikum

you're friends are not all you have? What about Allah S.W.T?
Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in, even if you're the only one.

I am graduatiing this highschool this year and have made the decision not to go to prom a long time ago. I know what you're going throught right now, when all you're peers are talking about is what they are going to wear, who they will go with and the after parties filled with alcohol and drugs.

Do not attend sister, not because you're dad told you not to but because is Allah is Al-Raqeeb (the Watcher/Most Watchful). If we TRULY beleive this, we will understand that He (SWT) watches us and our actions EVEN ON PROM NIGHT. Subhna'allah. Besides, who are we really trying to impress?


To me it does not make sense to be covered up or "practicing" all year round and then all of a sudden; for a one day event (which is displeasing to Allah and is more of a fitnah zone; just in case you didn't know) and to be with those who earned the anger and wrath of Allah.

Its really is not worth it and you will regret going 100 percent. You will be in an environment where people are openly disobeying Allah,males and females dancing, girls dressed in next to nothing and not to mention the music.

hmm sorry if I rambled on but ya
lol

salamuaalaikum

 

[*shamz*]

the main issue for me is that i'm not really keen on going but

i go to a mixed school n i thought as my muslim friends r going i have support to back up my reasons 4 not going

but now they too r going n they are the ones compelling me even more.

a good excuse to shut their moths would be appreciated please

i was thinkin we cud go thorpe park instead but now as they r going to too im the odd oe out.

thanks to ur adivce i started sayin "who am i doing it for" before everything i do.

jazakallah

 

[crayon]

"thought as my muslim friends r going i have support to back up my reasons 4 not going
but now they too r going n they are the ones compelling me even more."

Perhaps some of your muslim friends that are going are also feeling the same way as you, they don't really want to go, but feel pressured to, and won't speak up?
Try to convince them to do something else with you sis. If they still insist on going, leave this thing for Allah, and he will replace it with something far better inshaAllah. If they go, organize something on a different day so you can still have fun as well.