help to save my marraige

  • Thread starter Thread starter jeamma
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 40
  • Views Views 7K
where are you from bro ?


convert said:
things i have going against me it seems:

1. i am a convert
2. i am white
3. i have a full beard
4. i wear sunnah clothing on occasion
5. i am a white convert

but that is besides the point



:wa:

perhaps women can take it easier if their husband has been with another woman since Allah has allowed up to 4 wives anyway. the thought of my wife being with another man is enough for me to never want to see her ever again.
Click to expand...
 
convert said:
things i have going against me it seems:

1. i am a convert
2. i am white
3. i have a full beard
4. i wear sunnah clothing on occasion
5. i am a white convert

:wa:
Click to expand...

hmmm u cud put that all in 1. so u only need 3 columns heh.
 
Muslim Woman said:
:sl:

He committed zina and he is not repented but blaming u ?

Sis , what's wrong with u ? Why u are waiting for his decision ? U must not continue your life with a sinner .
Click to expand...

What's wrong with you? Do people not sin?
 
:sl:

sister hes not worth it, he seems to love this woman and hes having her baby. even if you forgave and kept him, do you really think hes going to stop seeing this woman or trying to especially since she has his child?
 
Assalamu ALikum wa rahamtu Allahi wa barakatuhu

You are a good wife. I really like that you wanted to save your marrage, because many people don't realise that divorce is disliked by Allah,spw.

DON'T GET ME WRONG!!!!

This person has blined you. Love blinds you,so you need to open your eyes and focus on Islam.
It seems to me as If you worked harder to please your husband rather than Allah,spw. That's what "love" does to you.
I say this not to reproach you, but so you realise that he has taked you on a wrong path and that you have to keep away from him.


Once you divorce him, later on he might ask for money. Don't let him use you. Make sure you ask us and or a scholar for an advice If he ever asks for a favour.


Allah says in the 64 sura ayat 14

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ إِنَّ مِنۡ أَزۡوَٲجِكُمۡ وَأَوۡلَـٰدِڪُمۡ عَدُوًّ۬ا لَّڪُمۡ فَٱحۡذَرُوهُمۡ*ۚ وَإِن تَعۡفُواْ وَتَصۡفَحُواْ وَتَغۡفِرُواْ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ (١٤)

O you who believe! Verily, among your wives and your children are your enemies (who may stop you from the obedience of Allâh), therefore beware of them! But if you pardon (them) and overlook, and forgive (their faults), then verily, Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
 
Last edited:
amani said:
:sl:

sister hes not worth it, he seems to love this woman and hes having her baby. even if you forgave and kept him, do you really think hes going to stop seeing this woman or trying to especially since she has his child?
Click to expand...

I totally agree. I think you need to be with a man that truely loves you and is faithful and loyal. soon to be there will be a child involved? could you actually cope with that? I cant believe he is blaming you though when he was the one who commited adultery. There should be no excuses for this.
Sounds like your too good for him.

You must be going through a lot of heart ache.. My Allah answer your prayers and guide you in the right path for whatever is best for you.

Jazakallah
 
:sl:


T.I.A said:
What's wrong with you? Do people not sin?
Click to expand...

Of Course but he is not repented . He is blaming wife who supported him financially by doing 2 jobs. It was his responsibility but he did not work and spent time with other woman.
 
How on earth do you believe this man is going to just come around? I am a woman and will never understand how any woman in their right mind can forgive a cheating husband. I understand you love him but you have to realize love is never enough in a marriage. It takes hard labor to make a marriage work! Not only did it happen once but many times? Why would you want to put yourself through it again (and it will happen again sweety) Don't ever think staying with him is better then living alone because it's not! You are obviously succesful in the bussiness field. So live your life! Mark my word, if you take this sorry exuse of a man back, he will bring you down instead of rising in your life!

Drop him like a bad habit and move on with your life & head held high!
 
assalaamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullah,

It is easy to say 'divorce him', however, she still loves him. That is a difficult decision, common sense tells you to 'go' but then the heart and mind tells you to 'stay'. May Allaah pour upon you sabr. Ameen.
 
I know we are all sayin to leave him, and it must be hard to just get up and go. But really think about if you could really stay with a man who is blaming for something you had no control over and someone who cannot even be faithful. :(
 
This person doesn't seem to be someone who would regret what he did. He seems like a slave to his desires and is not worthy of your love. I'm not accusing you, but please have some self-respect.
 
Last edited:
i see that the poster has not posted here any more , but sister i want to tell you, just let him go I know it is hard but at the end of the day you will be happy for what you have done.
 
You know something put your trust in Allah and make a decision .. that will be the best decision you make :)
 
markislam said:
Yes trust in Allah and pray He will guide you. There are people who would like to have a wife a like you, and there are some guys who take them for granted what a world we live in.
Click to expand...
I totally agree... but nobody said life was fair.
 
Muslim Woman said:
:sl:



Yes , I guess it's normal in this world . When wife commits any mistake , no one is ready to forgive her. But if a man commits a major sin , it's his wife's fault why he did so.

Sis jeamma ,ask your husband what could be his reaction if u were pregnant by another guy.

I guess , he asked the Imam to offer Isthekhara salat . It can be done by any Muslim . But it should be done for a valid / lawful reason.
Click to expand...


salam sister. I only said I would divorce my wife if she committed zina because I am a young man, not a woman. So I couldn't say I would divorce my husband. :)
The point is Zina is a grave sin. Unless the person offer sincere tawba to Allah ta'ala, there is no point in living with them. I know maybe it's common among women to wanting to forgive the husband for committing zina, but that's really an ignorant type of forgiveness. According to scholars, if a a person commits zina and does not offer sincere repentance then his/her partner must divorce him/her. Do you see how strict it is?

Zina is not something you can just say oh yeah forgive him/her. It's no big deal we all make mistakes. No that one is far too big. When you get married you are "indirectly" making a conscious promise that you will not sleep with anybody else. So, when one does commit zina it's done out of full consciousness.
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top