hijab

[SaraMukhtar12]

Well, I an planning on wearing hijab and I would like to share my opinion about it. I know that wearing hijab is to protect yourself but buy just covering up isn't just enough. Your personality should be strong and modest be fore covering up. Since I want to start wearing one but I am a shy person in general. Any advise on how to improve my personality

 

[BeTheChange]

Hey Asalamualykum!

Welcome to the forum. Am glad you've decided to make a positive change to your life. I 100% agree with you and perfecting your character is an ongoing quest for all practising Muslims!

Anyone can look the part but controlling your anger, avoiding back-biting, not to tell even a white lie, not to hurt another human being's feelings, not to gamble etc requires a lot of patience and practice!

From Sahl ibn Aa'd who said that Allâh's Messenger (salAllâhu 'alaihi wa'sallam) said:

"Jibreel came to me and said: O Muhammad! Live as you will for you must certainly die; love whom you will since you must certainly leave him; act as you will since you shall certainly be given due reward for it; know that the believers eminence is his standing in prayer during the night, and his honour is having sufficiency without dependency upon the people."

Reported by al-Haakim (4/324)

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Please visit this link for stories, hadiths, wise words around personality development >> http://www.kalamullah.com/personality.html

I wish you success and happiness Ameen.

 

[greenhill]

Welcome to the forum...

Growing up I used to try keep the principles of the 3 Monkeys, see, hear and do no evil.... that was until I met an Iraqi guy living in Sweden who told me of a 10,000 year old saying that goes 'think well, do well and say well'. It is hard, but much more easily remembered. The three monkeys still left a scope for the hands to do evil and the feet to take me there...

eace:

 

[ardianto]

Well, I an planning on wearing hijab and I would like to share my opinion about it. I know that wearing hijab is to protect yourself but buy just covering up isn't just enough. Your personality should be strong and modest be fore covering up. Since I want to start wearing one but I am a shy person in general. Any advise on how to improve my personality

Are you shy person?. Every shy person whom I know has good manner, good etiquette, and polite. So, basically your personality already good.

 

[SaraMukhtar12]

Yes but that's not my point. Since I am shy that means I barely stand up for my self. How do I do that? I find it extremely difficult. And I am very quiet person and non social.

 

[gby247]

Sara if your shy, non social, then it's even easier to wear hijab. The ones that find it hard are the out going ones, they have many friends and are well known, for these people are known as they are, if they convert, there is more room for judgement, critique. But to be shy has nothing to do with obeying Allah. I converted, I could care less what, anyone thinks or say. Why because at the end I fear Allah who will judge solely me. It's a choice and nobody can tell you how to built your personality or self esteem. It's something that we have in our heart, a desire to be good, follow Allah's plan and his words.

 

[greenhill]

Since I am shy that means I barely stand up for my self. How do I do that? I find it extremely difficult.

Not sure if I understand correct. Shy to wear hijab? From my read, it is probably more to do with shy as in the lack of confidence. If that is the case (about confidence) then it is more to do with you and what you are willing to do about it. There are no magic formulas that will suddenly find you having no problems to speak out and standing up for yourself. This is a conscious effort requiring definite input from you to overcome.

The first hurdle that I see is the point you made about 'being quiet and non social'. Nothing wrong with being quiet and being social is kind of overrated anyway. But if overcoming shyness is what you want and developing confidence, then being away from interacting with people is not the way forward.

When I was studying, the scariest moments for me was to put up my hands in class to ask questions. Almost went through my whole studies without ever doing it (but instead, approaching the teachers after classes to ask the question privately). But this was a fear that I had to overcome. Proper planning on the question helped. Repeated rehearsing the question in my head gave me the assurance that the question was clear. Many other doubts also entered my mind, like was I going to make a fool of myself? and the feeling that the entire class was watching me or that I jumbled up my thoughts ....especially my wildly beating heart that I cannot ignore did not help. But I had to get over it. It must start with you.

Then I made it a point to try starting a conversation with people, but I would start with people I often meet but never talked to. General conversations to begin with. Then perhaps eventually, meet up for a drink or so (if the conversation develops into 'friendship').

Overcoming shyness is not an easy matter. It must be built bit by bit. Firstly starting with you. Be comfortable with yourself (not to the point of not needing anyone) but in a way that getting bad responses from people does not make you lose spirit in the effort to get to know people...

eace: