Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

[GuestFellow]

Well personally I don't like the idea of getting married. It is kind of weird...I think I might grow out of it or something... :/

Honestly, for what reasons would you reject a potential spouse?

1) Has no interest in Islam.

2) Does not complete 5 daily prayers.

3) Does not wear a Hijab.

4) Rude and complains.

5) Gossip type. I can't STAND girls who gossip. They are annoying and give you a headache.

6) If I don't feel attracted to her.

7) If she is not independent.

8) No sense of humour.

9) Had previous relationship with other guys.

10) If she is lazy.

If I had to reject her, I would say: ''I'm sorry, I am not good enough for you.''

 

[cool_jannah]

For me, having no interest in Islam would be a real off-putting aspect in a wife, as would, naturally, me having no attraction to her.

So, what are your main off-putting factors?

1) Has no love for Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) and RasoolAllah (salallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) and this beautiful Deen.

2) Does not wear Niqab (or thinks that women shouldn't wear Niqab). I cannot imagine myself marrying a girl who does not wear Niqab. Alhamdulillah.

3) Is not physically attractive.

4) Does not have good akhlaaq. (I guess when a girl is pious, it includes her character etc. so that takes care of that)

I guess thats pretty much it.

 

[جوري]

haven't read the whole thread so forgive if these have been answered before..
here is to striving for perfection...

1- poor hygiene and that is definitely first on the list
2- effeminate
3- unintelligent
4- incompatible with me in areas where I seek nurture and interest like (a great conversationalist, religious, witty and self sufficient, defiant but tender in a non-effeminate way, and having great presence when walking in a room, respectful)
5- not being driven and goal directed in a leveled sort of way..
6- of course attraction is high on the list, I won't get into height because that is somewhat superficial but I don't see how the others can take flight if basic attraction isn't there ...

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

2- effeminate

oh god yh, so true +o(

and having great presence when walking in a room, respectful)

that made me just "lol" ;D

 

[جوري]

oh god yh, so true +o(

that made me just "lol" ;D

it is called heiba, Omar ibn ilkhtab had that, caused a woman to miscarry once, and she actually filed charges against him for involuntary slaughter and won.. I am not saying I want him to cause women to miscarry, but have a great presence ...

 

[Raaina]

Unable to hold a conversation
Unintelligent

These are the two things that are a big turn off for me.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Edit

 

[Pk_#2]

I'd reject a guy if he was:

1) Gay.. :skeleton:
2) Non-Muslim
3) Lanky :X
4) Jobless
5) Doesn't live in England

 

[Al Ansari]

as salaamu 'alaikum,

Brother Dawud, that was well said. MashAllaah.

A course for rejections would be of course aqueedah and her longing to know more about the deen of Allaah. To sacrifice for Allaah and his messenger. Hijrah and Jihaad Fisibilillah for Allaah is a big, big point for me. She has to love jihaad fisibilillah.

My priority is her deen, she has to pray and wear the hijab and know the basic ettiquettes of male and female (non-mahram) conditions.

Any doubt in aqueedah which is established will turn me away.

Wa Allaahu alim.

 

[Layla454]

- No piety
- Bad manners
- Poor hygiene
- Poor adab

 

[GuestFellow]

1) Gay.. :skeleton:
]

Actually that would be one of my worst nightmares. To be married to a women who is attracted to the same gender. :skeleton:

 

[Imam]

1- Doesn't keep home secrets.

2- talks so much.

3- make noise.

4- Doesn't respect her parents.

5- smells bad.

6-much Sensitive.

7 too materialistic

8 Rude and complains.

9 -one who care alot for her hijab or niqab and less with the way she behaves with the society...


other than that I have no problem with color,body size ,language, country ,whether hijab or niqab ,how much education(though i prefer one is clever in mathematics as i used not to be clever in it lol )

 

[buddy1]

you know you meet these different people and theres a creepy thing about them, the way they look at you, or the way they act, BIG NOO NOO!!

a man being uninterested in children, although im separated and a mother to three, when i was originally looking for a life partner, children and family was one of the most important thing!

 

[Sizzlerjimer]

I've told my mum why I'd never marry any of my potential cousins:

-they don't dress islamically
-for them islam is just something you learn about when you're young: only quran and salah.

But most of this is due to pakistani upbringing and the environment in the islamic republic of Pakistan But my mum says you can change them once you get married, I said well its not my problem they're old enough to make their own choices and I shouldn't have to worry about others faults

Above mentioned reasons are the exact reasons i will not marry anyone from pakistan INSALLAH.i cant seem to find the righteous,pious practicing muslimah who wears a hijab and lives her life in an islamic way instead when i tell my elders i am looking for these qualities in my wife they look at me like are you crazy.The only thing girls are interesed in pakistan is how to get rid of there husbands mum and sisters and other relatives and how to be the only ONE, you know what i mean.

I am from pakistan and i have been here for 5.5yrs and honestly i have gained more islamic knowledge here in UK then in the SO CALLED islamic republic of pakistan.

I want to marry a rightoeus,pious, practicing muslimah but hey you know what i cant because i am a............... FRESHY.Me being not a red passport holder comes first then me being a practicing muslim.I think girls from uk or eu when they say we are looking for a practicing muslim they should specify if your praticing but your a FRESHY sorry we are not interested.Where is FRESHYISM(new word lol) in islam????ALL i want is to fulfil the sunnah of the PROPHET (SAW).

This is my opinion but i ask you brothers and sisters especially sisters does freshyism play a part in rejecting some one?


Jazak ALLAH

 

[noorseeker]

I think i would just wait to see who rejects me, ive always thought id marry who ever wants to marry me, coz im in no position to make demands

 

[Faye]

Reasons for rejecting suitors
1. Creepiness
2. Creepy family
3. Non-practicingness
4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)
5. Lack of desire to increase in Islam and lack of respect for Ilm and Olama
6. Desire to live outside Pakistan, particularly in the US/UK
7. Lack of willingness to wait until I finish studying to get married (there is only 2 years left, after all, and I'm young)
8. Non-Halaal income source
9. No desire for children
10. Coarse mannered or uneducated
11. Can't laugh
12. He doesn't have to be earning now, but he should be willing and capable of eventually supporting me and as many children as Allah grants us.
13. He has to speak at least one language that I also speak. Other than that, I don't care about racial background. I'm a mongrel myself.

And how would I reject them...Simple, that's my parents job. They makeup some excuse to tell the intermediary on the other side (usually: She's still studying), who then informs the suitor. Nobody gets rejected to their face.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a Pakistani.

 

[Layla454]

Reasons for rejecting suitors

4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)

I can understand interfering but if his family is non-practising, its not really his fault so I think thats a bit unfair

 

[Sizzlerjimer]

Reasons for rejecting suitors
1. Creepiness
2. Creepy family
3. Non-practicingness
4. Huge, interfering, non-practicing family (even if the guy is practicing)
5. Lack of desire to increase in Islam and lack of respect for Ilm and Olama
6. Desire to live outside Pakistan, particularly in the US/UK
7. Lack of willingness to wait until I finish studying to get married (there is only 2 years left, after all, and I'm young)
8. Non-Halaal income source
9. No desire for children
10. Coarse mannered or uneducated
11. Can't laugh
12. He doesn't have to be earning now, but he should be willing and capable of eventually supporting me and as many children as Allah grants us.
13. He has to speak at least one language that I also speak. Other than that, I don't care about racial background. I'm a mongrel myself.


If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a Pakistani.

asalam u alikum wa rehmatulahi wa berkathu

how is the family creepy??:uhwhat

what is a mongrel??

if your in pakistan you either speak urdu or english or do you know othe languages like pushto,sindhi etcc???

Jazak ALLAH

 

[Sahabiyaat]

I think i would just wait to see who rejects me, ive always thought id marry who ever wants to marry me, coz im in no position to make demands

whoa
have some self confidence man.

 

[Cabdullahi]

We can put up all the constraints we like regarding marriage but i can assure you that half of them will either be forgotten about or the person who you are preordained to marry wont fit the criterion the exact way you wanted

so therefore i wont make an off-putting list i will just bide my time and see what the future holds for me

someone said i wont marry a smelly person as if the other half will walk around smelling like the sewers around the marriage and getting to know each other period

They will have the best aroma why? because they are trying to get married!!