Hoping to marry this summer

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Xcoolamandax

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Salam alaikum,

I have a fiancé in Saudi Arabia whom I want to marry this summer. But he wants me to lose weight first and I need a visa. I'm working very hard to lose weight. I go to gym everyday. I'm afraid I cannot do it though. Another thing is the visa. I'm afraid I will not be able to get one. What can I do?
 
I'm sure he does:). He just wants me to lose it for my health and I'm happy to do it for him
 
I dont think we can help you with anything. Just follow the correct guidelines for a visa and keep going to the gym.
 
The problem with the visa is I don't know which I can apply for. There is no option on the embassy website for visitor. Very confusing i find travel.
 
hmm be careful make sure you know what you're getting yourself into, if you have a character reference from some 1 that knows him that would be good cos the thing about being in different countries is, it's hard to see how each other behave you could find out that he's totally not like you expected in person.

anyway with the losing weight bit, work out for an hour every day and see how it goes, you have to eat clean stuff too not poison :p staying healthy and slim is a life long committment I think, you all ways have to put the time in which is exercise on a regular basis.
 
Put your trust in Allah and it will occur!

سم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Bismillā hir Rahmā nir Rahīm
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful​


As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Uhkti Xcoolamandax:

We perform du'a that this journey of marriage will be comforting and not a trial that you are unable to bear. I will assume you will receive the best advice on this forum and a overwhelming extension of du'a and well wishes. Insha Allah

Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said that a man can marry for four reasons but advised to marry the religious woman or we will be losers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

I will attempt to always put the best construction on a situation as all practicing Muslims should. Your Khateeba (Groom) to be might have suggested the weight lost for health reasons. Allahu 'Alim

The majority of the time anyone who makes an effort to change is because of a need. The suggestion that why doesn't he accept or marry you how you are is something only you and him can answer. Because you can always regain the weight. What will happen if you have children and are unable to lose the weight. These are issues you need to address and answer now.

That is really no ones business but you and him.
 
04/11/2009 said:
Why can't he marry you for the way you are?
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well it might sound romantic and what not the way you put it. Being obese is not the way one is! You can always get slim and healthy and still be yourself. So yea, he is right to ask her to lose weight as a part of his marriage.
 
just make sure that you do your full research on him especially if you are a revert muslimah. People back home do scams unfortunately. Just make sure you are doing the right thing.
 
Assalaamu alaikum sis

Please make sure you have a wali (male guardian) who must be a Muslim, acting for you, overseeing you and guiding you. He must be a non-marriageable relative, or, if you are a revert, the leader of the community (ask the imam of your local mosque). Your marriage cannot take place without a wali. He needs to be someone acting in your interests. If your fiancee will appoint one for you in Saudi, he may not be someone acting solely in your interests. Have you sought advice from a scholar or the imaam of a local mosque?

:sl:
 
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mad_scientist said:
well it might sound romantic and what not the way you put it. Being obese is not the way one is! You can always get slim and healthy and still be yourself. So yea, he is right to ask her to lose weight as a part of his marriage.
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I definitely do not agree with you. Losing weight is often said to be because of health. But often its just what the guy prefers using health as an arguement. What if a woman gains weight because of being pregnant. You gonna tell her she has to loose weight as well?? That would be cruel seriously.

Insane Insaan said:
Assalaamu alaikum sis

Please make sure you have a wali (male guardian) who must be a Muslim, acting for you, overseeing you and guiding you. He must be a non-marriageable relative, or, if you are a revert, the leader of the community (ask the imam of your local mosque). Your marriage cannot take place without a wali. He needs to be someone acting in your interests. If your fiancee will appoint one for you in Saudi, he may not be someone acting solely in your interests. Have you sought advice from a scholar or the imaam of a local mosque?

:sl:
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Dont travel alone, take someone with you. Maybe someone who can speak Arab, comes in handy when you approach Saudi borders. May Allah swt help you in finding a pious and sweet husband. (Im so happy for you!:D)
 
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★ηαѕιнα★;1296397 said:
I definitely do not agree with you. Losing weight is often said to be because of health. But often its just what the guy prefers using health as an arguement. What if a woman gains weight because of being pregnant. You gonna tell her she has to loose weight as well?? That would be cruel seriously.



Dont travel alone, take someone with you. Maybe someone who can speak Arab, comes in handy when you approach Saudi borders. May Allah swt help you in finding a pious and sweet husband. (Im so happy for you!:D)
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No sane man will tell a woman to loose weight during pregnancy. Duh. But after giving birth, YES.
 
mad_scientist said:
No sane man will tell a woman to loose weight during pregnancy. Duh. But after giving birth, YES.
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What if shes happy the way she is? U gonna force her?
I do notice you have nothing to say about this part:

★ηαѕιнα★;1296397 said:
I definitely do not agree with you. Losing weight is often said to be because of health. But often its just what the guy prefers using health as an arguement. What if a woman gains weight because of being pregnant. You gonna tell her she has to loose weight as well?? That would be cruel seriously.

Dont travel alone, take someone with you. Maybe someone who can speak Arab, comes in handy when you approach Saudi borders. May Allah swt help you in finding a pious and sweet husband. (Im so happy for you!:D)
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I should buy a fatsuit, wear it and camp outside your house (wherever that is).
Buy me a few meals at McDonalds and just sit, eat and watch what you are doing.
Great idea now I think of it. I should do that to my sibblings, they deteste fatpeople as well.
They are people too you know!
 
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:sl:


People can naturally be fat due to health problems. It's not just because a person may eat too much. My God ppl r really strange sometimes....

I don't know but that's just...weird. Maybe I'm readin too much into it. Forgive me if I sound offensive sis xx.

As for the visa part sis I don't know much about it :S Even though I live in the US myself :hiding:

:w:
 
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Well lets face it ladies, a woman is not going to want an over weight man either is she:) sis i think its cool your doing all this for your fiance mashaAllah.

Hes blessed.. i exercise alot now myself to keep healthy and it dosen mean you are fatty if you work out..:hmm: it basically means you want to a healthy lifestyle thats all

whether heavy or thin its great to exercise. i dont know why people are assuming this sister is over weight?

Most girls want to lose a few pounds coming up to there wedding day :p
 
★ηαѕιнα★;1296551 said:
What if shes happy the way she is? U gonna force her?
I do notice you have nothing to say about this part:
!
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it is actually sunnah to keep yourself looking good for your husband.. if you didnt he'd probably go off searching else where :)

you would not want a man who did not take care of himself would you?

bottom line is attraction is important in a marriage and yes sometimes you do have work hard on it and for others it dose not require any work :)

but its worth it in the end for a long and happy marriage inshaAllah :)

of course you fall in love with the persons heart but as everybody says you cannot eat the food without a bit of salt and some spice sometimes ;D
 

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