I am 16, and a brother, and in the 11th grade, and ever since I was in the 8th grade I have been suffering from debilitating panic attacks.....Whenever I have a panic attack, which usually happens when I feel rejected or alone (I have autism), my eyes start to itch, then they start to ache, then it feels like my eyes are rolling into my head, and my eyes become wide open, and I get dizzy, unbalanced, and feel a sense of impending doom, as well as have slurred speech.....
For a time, these completely ruined my life...In the 9th grade, they were so bad I fell behind in school, and kept trying to escape the school campus astaghfirullah, and one day, when I tried to go home and couldn't, I made terroristic threats out of frustration, and got into legal trouble....I was put in alternative school with the worst troublemakers in the county, but luckily this year I was able to transition to a semi-alternative school, where I get to take some regular education classes....I always live in fear of these panic attacks, and am afraid to go places or even to school....I have had panic attacks at school to this day, which have caused me to get into trouble, and my mother has never picked me up from school for a panic attack (I have no driver's license)
I take tylenol nearly every day to ease a possible impending panic attack, despite taking heavy pharmaceutical medication and even supplements.....yesterday, I lost my temper since the nurse was not available and the new nurse had outdated instructions about breaking the tylenol so I dont choke and throw up......which made me wait, and wait, and wait....The alternative school runs by a level system, so I am likely to drop levels next week and lose privileges. I have tried medication, but it has not helped....I have tried ruqyah, but it has not helped.....I have tried cures for black magic but it has not helped...I have tried supplements, and they do not help.....I have even tried taking heavy amounts of supplements, but then I become sleepy and have trouble focusing in school.....
I feel as if this is caused by a lack of iman, or perhaps I need alternative medicine....I have tried black seed oil, and it only worked the first few days....
What is wrong with me? Is Allah swt testing me or punishing me? What should I do?
For a time, these completely ruined my life...In the 9th grade, they were so bad I fell behind in school, and kept trying to escape the school campus astaghfirullah, and one day, when I tried to go home and couldn't, I made terroristic threats out of frustration, and got into legal trouble....I was put in alternative school with the worst troublemakers in the county, but luckily this year I was able to transition to a semi-alternative school, where I get to take some regular education classes....I always live in fear of these panic attacks, and am afraid to go places or even to school....I have had panic attacks at school to this day, which have caused me to get into trouble, and my mother has never picked me up from school for a panic attack (I have no driver's license)
I take tylenol nearly every day to ease a possible impending panic attack, despite taking heavy pharmaceutical medication and even supplements.....yesterday, I lost my temper since the nurse was not available and the new nurse had outdated instructions about breaking the tylenol so I dont choke and throw up......which made me wait, and wait, and wait....The alternative school runs by a level system, so I am likely to drop levels next week and lose privileges. I have tried medication, but it has not helped....I have tried ruqyah, but it has not helped.....I have tried cures for black magic but it has not helped...I have tried supplements, and they do not help.....I have even tried taking heavy amounts of supplements, but then I become sleepy and have trouble focusing in school.....
I feel as if this is caused by a lack of iman, or perhaps I need alternative medicine....I have tried black seed oil, and it only worked the first few days....
What is wrong with me? Is Allah swt testing me or punishing me? What should I do?