How I can be tolerant and strong Muslim?

[Danah]

Asalam Alykom Wa Rahmat allah Wa Barakatoh
I hope that this thread find u all in the best health and Eman

this is confusing me so much recently......I am so confused about how I can be tolerant to the other religions and soo strong in my own religion at the same time.
I wanna know how I can be flexible with non-Muslims but at the same time have a strong commitment to my own.....I used to be very sensitive if someone say anything about Islam.....I hate them easily, that's probably is doing nothing but let them away from the beauty of Islam.

How I can control myself......I think the demonstration of practicing Islam in front of the non-mulims is the best way to explain our religion to them...

Any advice are appreciated brothers and sisters...this is really affect my way of thinking...

 

[Malaikah]

I don't see how the presence of non-Muslim should influence your ability to practise Islam at all.

Respect their right to practise their religion, but doesn't mean you have to walk around singing praises about Christianity or any other religion.

As for people who ridicule/speak badly about Islam - well, I guess there are two general categories. First, people who are just out to mock the faith and aren't interested in real dialogue. I'd ignore them. True they'll make me angry and annoy me, but whatever, people like that aren't worth stressing over.

As for those who say things that aren't pleasant but are genuine, then, as the Quran says, debate with them in the way that is better - so respond patiently and with words of wisdom.

Of course, that's all very general. Maybe you can give us a more detailed account of what you mean, so we can give more specific advice?

 

[noorseeker]

One guy at work, always says to me you want a bacon sandwich, but its all tongue in cheek, but these non muslims , deep inside respect us , because they see that we believe in something, and we wont budge on our beliefs.


And they know , that their allowed to do anything in life, its hard abstaining from something , than following your whims and desires

 

[Al-Zaara]

Aleykum selam we rahmetallahu we berekathu!

Sister, have you been around many non-Muslims? Do you interact with them on a daily basis?

I do that. And it has taught me how to handle them and how to handle other opinions, religions, thoughts, idelogies, etc. It isn't too hard, I rarely take things to heart. If they ridicule Islam, best way is to answer with patience or as I am, make a joke out of it as to show you ain' takin' their ignorance seriously. Just be short in speech if you realize they are there only to mock and not learn. Don't care about them, they can't change you or your religion just 'cause they like to twist things.

But don't go around thinking all are like that, 'cause they aint. As a matter of fact, most non-Muslims I personally have met (and I meet almost ONLY non-Muslims), respect me and my religion and how much I try to follow it rightly. And I respect them and their life. Mutual respect is something great. In the end, it's not worth fighting over small issues or issues none of you are too learned about or which has nothing to do with anyonepersonally, better keep it simple and leave it at that.


As Malaikah said, maybe you are thinking about a specific situation? And if yes, you can explain to us here so we can give more appropriate adivce, inshaAllah.

 

[Danah]

okay u might misunderstand something.....

sis Malaikah...~No at all they cant even change a bit of My Eman al humdulilah.....I have a strong Eman.....and I dont have any problem with that.

sis Al Zara....what u said is really what I want to be able to do,,,,,,,

f they ridicule Islam, best way is to answer with patience or as I am, make a joke out of it as to show you ain' takin' their ignorance seriously. Just be short in speech if you realize they are there only to mock and not learn. Don't care about them,

that is what I cant do..may be because I am not used to interact with them too often.....alhumdulilah I am living in an Islamic country.......but sometimes it happens that you meet someone and start to discuses some religious issue ....and it turns to something worse

I dont have a great patience especially with religious things....I cant stand some one mocking Islam.....if something like that happened I will keep sad, angry for a long time...may be for several days.....and I dont exaggerate it if I said it also comes to my dreams

Edit: What I mean by being Strong, is sometimes I feel like If I go easy on them I feel like I am doing something wrong....I dont know how to act really..or how far I should be tolerant..I am so confused

 

[Al-Zaara]

Trust me, rather be gentle with them than harsh, you and they benefit more from it. It is Allah subhana we ta'ala who has what it takes to be hard and make people understand things aswell, if it is His will. If it is not Allah's will, nothing can change them.

What I would suggest is, when you meet an non-Muslim from time to time, you don't have to bring religions into your conversation, maybe just briefly, rather show interest in other subjects first.


Hmm, wow, if you take things so deeply into you, you must pray some Qur'an to calm down or meditate, to find peace inside. Patience is beautiful and a true characteristic of a Muslim. You have to realize, the one who mocks Islam, is mocking Allah. Well, who can better punish than Allah? No one. Rather pray for the people, pray that they will get guided and that their hearts will soften. Ask Allah for forgiveness that you can't change that they speak such and that you and the true believers know the truth and will continue to live a true islamic life and show Islam through the best sides of you, through characteristics and such.

I used to get pretty irritated when people said stuff about Islam infront of me, and I still do, but now, I deal with it. I don't let it go so deeply into me, in the end, it's just words. If they were infront of an very learned scholar, like for example, let's say Imam Ibn Taymiyyah, you think they'd have a chance? And if they ain't talking straight to my face, I won't bother. If they do, I will answer calmly or just glare, haha. If they continue to mock, I simply ignore and remember, it is not I who will pay for the sin. I more or less fear the sin that person is making, for the wrath of Allah is not nice.

InshaAllah I could help you somehow. This is not something that will help just like that, it takes time to sink in and to learn and everyone has it difficult from time to time... So don't despair. <3

 

[جوري]

I believe the balancing act takes so much wisdom and alot of experience..
I find many non-Muslims insincere in their queries, and just looking either to evangelize, spread bull, intimidate etc..

Today I was on youtube listening to a recitation, when big mistake I made to read the comments..

the amazing thing is, all the comments have become so normal now that I see them quite often, it seems they all get their schooling from the same TV program.. I have personally always felt a good defense is a strong offense, but I am not sure that works for everyone..

certainly having '7olom' patience, tolerance is one of the most admirable traits one can aspire for.. but that is providing your proponent is worthy and respectful.. which from experience I notice is a rarity.. The best thing to really do is ignore them.. but if you feel that, they are spreading lies, then it is a form of jihad to change it in the best manner possible..

a pen has always been much mightier than a sword -- but behind it, has to come great thought and reflection.. so insha'Allah learn all you can not just of your religion but the flaws in others so when you write, it is from a strong point of view ..

and Allah knows best

 

[roohani.doctor]

dont let randoms bother you, you dont know them, they dont know you, and most importantly, they dont know Allah, If they clearly just want to mock islam, let them, because if you get angry and say something rude, it will only assure them Islam is as they envision, instead ask Allah Hiddayat for them, and thank Allah for making you Muslim. After all, in this world Islam is the biggest gift of all. Jus imagine, god forbid if you weren't a muslim, you could have been one of them.

If someone comes up to you and genuinely seems interested in Islam, explain to them nicely. Try not to get all emotional and deep, people tend to back away then.

Just remember, you have Allah on your side and they dont, NOTHING that say can get to you. I used to get really angry when people would laugh or point at the my hijab, but now humdullilah i dont let it bother me...

hold your head high and ignore. trust me it seems hard at first but you'll get used to it...

 

[TrueStranger]

One guy at work, always says to me you want a bacon sandwich, but its all tongue in cheek, but these non muslims , deep inside respect us , because they see that we believe in something, and we wont budge on our beliefs.


And they know , that their allowed to do anything in life, its hard abstaining from something , than following your whims and desires

LOL! I have one at work too, he keeps saying "Marry Christmas" i just laugh and tell me "Marry Christmas" to you too. But he respects the fact that i told him i don't shake hands with men, so he keeps throwing some "high fives" So Marry Christmas to him too, as long as he keeps his hands to himself.

 

[Danah]

today something happened that upset me a little at first.
Our Prof. was talking about his experience when he bought his car, and he talked about how they keep delaying shipping his car. He said "they keep saying insha allah which is not work to me"
to be honest, I was irritated at first, that he took that word so easily by saying that its not work for him.....whats wrong with him, he must show some respect to our belief

then I re-think about it again..............

I think if the guy that sold the car at the first place did not delay the shipment then the Prof. might think of that word more seriously, but because they keep delaying the car and keep saying insha allah carelessly !!!...... then I think I cant blame our Prof.

I dont actually know how I can explain his comment about insha allah word.....I am so confused wither I am right at my opinion about him or not !!!

 

[doorster]

I don't see how the presence of non-Muslim should influence your ability to practise Islam at all.

Respect their right to practise their religion, but doesn't mean you have to walk around singing praises about Christianity or any other religion.

As for people who ridicule/speak badly about Islam - well, I guess there are two general categories. First, people who are just out to mock the faith and aren't interested in real dialogue. I'd ignore them. True they'll make me angry and annoy me, but whatever, people like that aren't worth stressing over.

As for those who say things that aren't pleasant but are genuine, then, as the Quran says, debate with them in the way that is better - so respond patiently and with words of wisdom.

Of course, that's all very general. Maybe you can give us a more detailed account of what you mean, so we can give more specific advice?

:thumbs_up

edit: I just remembered that to some folk here and elsewhere, instead of "live and let live" to be tolerant means to admit to being of same basic aqeedah as the other person and one needs to take part in their rituals no matter how alien their ideas are to one's own (if you refuse to tow the line you are an extremist )

 

[Danah]

brother I have said before that its not affect me in a way that affect my practicing as muslimah,

I meant that sometime if they said something wrong about my religion it makes me confused to whether reply on them or just ignore them as their freedom of speech.....its really confused me.
especially for what happened today if u read my last post directly above yours

my confusion is how far I have to be tolerant ?

 

[Woodrow]

brother I have said before that its not affect me in a way that affect my practicing as muslimah,

I meant that sometime if they said something wrong about my religion it makes me confused to whether reply on them or just ignore them as their freedom of speech.....its really confused me.
especially for what happened today if u read my last post directly above yours

my confusion is how far I have to be tolerant ?

tolerance is the ability to "live and let live" it begins and ends with Ayyat 256 of Al-Baqerah (Surah 2).

Tolerance is the ability to let other's live as they choose, as long as it does not stop or interfer with what we believe. Tolerance only happens when it comes from both sides.

We do hav e a right and obligation to defend our beliefs, but we must also be aware that often non-Muslims do not intend to insult or offend us. It is a matter of not knowing or understanding.

Look at offensive comments first as being unintentional insults, lead a life of Islam and do not reply in kind. Do not look at offensive comments as being deliberate acts of hate, unless you have pointed out to the person, the comments are offensive, and they then continue with them. at that point understand it is a deliberate insult and it is time to sever all personal contact with tat person.

 

[doorster]

thank God! he is back

wa salaam alaikum

 

[Danah]

tolerance is the ability to "live and let live" it begins and ends with Ayyat 256 of Al-Baqerah (Surah 2).

jazak allah khair but...how I can balance between this and between my duty to explain and preach ?

 

[Woodrow]

jazak allah khair but...how I can balance between this and between my duty to explain and preach ?

We do have a duty to prach and explain. But, we must be aware that some people have hardened their hearts and will never accept Islam. We must avoid wasting time on them and direct our efforts to constructive work.

If you can not reach a person with a gentle touch, you will waste your time trying to pound truth in with a slege hammer. Often a smile and a simple answer to a question is the best Da'wah possible.

 

[Ushae]

Pray Salat as many times as possible for you. Do Dua/Talk to Allah after every session.

Where there is a will, there most certainly is a way!

 

[seeker-of-light]

i believe it is a good thing that you wish to be tolerant of other religions while still staying true to your own. i think this promotes peace, and if all other religions followed this example like you do then we would have a much more peaceful world. you can have your own beliefs while still being tolerant of others. if they say bad things about islam that is their ignorance, but remaining the better person and being tolerant is a good thing i believe for you^^