How i converted to islam

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Hamza Asadullah

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INTERVIEW WITH ABI LEE-CARTER, A CONVERT TO ISLAM

In my experience of new converts to Islam I find it quite amazing the transformation of one's thoughts, opinions, and behaviour, in fact a whole transformation of one's perspective in life. Abi Lee-Carter is far from the ordinary….she exemplifies how thinking can take someone a long way…

I am Ruji Rahman, aged 20, a student in London studying Biomedical Science. It was interesting to meet a new Muslim over the summer who attended some of my lectures at university and is studying in the same year. In fact I was more impressed by Abi's change in almost everything, particularly her pre-negative views about Islam.

It cannot be gone unnoticed the negative image presented about Islam specifically Islam's treatment of women which has been rampant in the media creating an 'Islamophobia' in society. I thought it would be interesting to interview Abi Lee-Carter who in the midst of all propaganda has warmly embraced Islam.

Abi Lee-Carter
Aged 20
Student in a London University; studying Human Biology
Muslim for 6 weeks




What interested you to Islam?

Before University I had never met anyone Muslim. I was Christian and, like many people I know, only went to church for weddings, christening and funerals. I believed in God but my religion didn’t feature in my life.

One of my flat mates in University halls was a practicing Muslim and was my first insight into Islam. Islam fascinated me because of its 'controversial nature'; people seem either passionately for it or fiercely against it. A year later, I got free booklets and leaflets about Islam and a free copy of the Qur’an during Islam Awareness week at my Uni.

I read about Islam with an open mind (though slightly skeptical), but was impressed that I could get a comprehensive and rational answer to the questions I had: How did I get here? Why am I here? And where am I going? I was surprised to find an insight into my own life in the Qur’an and that caused me to do some serious self- analysis. I realised my priorities were misplaced, but was pleasantly surprised that a lot of my own strong beliefs were also features of Islam. The more I read, the less skeptical I became. Islam is so unique because it deals with every aspect of human life. It’s decisive and and, unlike a lot of religions, does not contradict itself. It’s a religion that asserts the truth and then proves it! How many other religions can do that?

I felt enlightened (excuse the cliché, but its true!) and over time, decided that Islam was the truth and a way of life that I wanted to be a part of.


How has Islam changed your life?

It goes without saying that things are really different once you become a Muslim.

“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” (Surah 5:3)

The Qur’an and the Sunnah (what the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) did, said and approved of), provide us with a definitive guide for our entire life. It’s not just a case of good vs. evil or halal vs. haram because humans have Free Will. By calling myself a Muslim, I willfully submitted my life to the Will of Allah. As daunting as this sound, it really has changed my life for the better. This way of life that covers every aspect including my conduct within society, socially and at home, it even advises me on finance and politics. I was so indecisive before and acted too often on impulse. When asked why, my usual reply was “I don’t know…I just did it.”

Nowadays, I am conscious of all my actions and I do try to make everything I do purposeful. Being a Muslim means I have a Fear of Allah– not fear in the sense that I am scared, but that I’m continuously aware and mindful that Allah (SWT) knows everything that goes on. We are reminded in the Qur’an that, “Allah is Well- Acquainted with what you do.” So, I find myself (often subconsciously), thinking about the immediate consequences of my actions as well as the future (when I’ll be called to account for them on the Day of Judgment).

The more obvious changes are that I pray 5 times a day (which isn’t actually as hard, inconvenient as it sounds) and I cover my hair and wear the Islamic dress when I go out. I don’t feel the need to go clubbing every night or sit in front of the TV all day because I actually prefer to be more productive with my time. Im very rarely bored nowadays- in fact Im run off my feet and having so much fun because there are so many things to get involved in. I am more conscious of my health and am trying to maintain it and take advantage of my youth and my fitness by doing what I can- while I still can.

At long last I have focus and have definite goals for every aspect of my life and that’s a relief because I know what I’m working towards and the everyday things I do are more exciting now. I’m contented (the strongest and truest form of happiness) because I appreciate everything I have (even the little things), so much more now and that’s the greatest feeling. I worry less because I am confident that Allah (SWT) has provided me with everything I need.

I am more considerate of other people and a lot less selfish. Im trying to be more helpful and more patient with my parents because Islam has made me value all they do for me, and it's hugely improved our relationship with each other.

Since becoming a Muslim I have met the most amazing people and received such warmth and kindness. I’m now part of a community that accepts me regardless of my age, race or background and I feel comfortable being around them.


How did people respond to you converting to Islam such as your family?

Al hamdulillah, I’ve been so lucky! The first family member I told was my brother. His words were “Really! That’s cool!” which was a fantastic confidence booster. My biggest worry was telling my parents and it took me a while to actually break the news. It was important to me that they accepted my decision. I told my mum first and she was slightly shocked, I had let her know that I was reading about Islam beforehand, but reading and actually becoming Muslim are two very different things. My parents were worried about how others would react towards me because the view of Islam in the World is such a negative one at the moment and my mum was worried about me taking it all “too seriously”. The Islamic dress code was also an issue at first as well because they thought it was unnecessary and a bit “extreme”. They are getting used to it now and they are very supportive of me. I teach them what I can about Islam to help dispel some of their misconceptions and that helps a lot. They comment on the positive changes they’ve seen in my personality and behavior. My actions rather than my words have proved to them that I am earnest and Islam isn’t just a ‘phase’. My friends were shocked and a bit freaked out at first but they’re getting used to it and they respect what I’ve done.


What advice would you give to someone who is interested in Islam?

So many people have so much to say about Islam and it can get very confusing. I found books and the Internet helpful. But be cautious of what you read on the Internet because it’s not all accurate - make sure statements are backed up with proofs from the Qur’an and Sunnah. Reading is helpful but I found the best way to find out about Islam is by speaking to practicing Muslims. Visit a mosque (call first if you can), I found the larger mosques are great and people are more than willing to help. Don’t be afraid to ask questions (even if you think they're stupid), because as Muslims we know that there is no shame in religious questions. Most importantly, as a new Muslim sister once said to me, “keep your mind and heart open” that way you’ll find out everything you need to know and don’t be disheartened if you have a negative experience because sincere Muslims will be more than willing to help you.


It has been quoted by many that the Muslim Woman is forced to wear the headscarf and Jilbab (Islamic dress). Do you share this view?

In a word, no! I wear khimar (headscarf) and jilbab (over- garment) and no one forced me into it. I’ll admit, it wasn’t an easy decision because the pressure to look good in this society is so great.

Women are evaluated on their outward appearance; your hair, your figure your dress sense (or lack of it) are all under continuous scrutiny. Meanwhile market tells us what to wear, what we need to buy or which treatments would best improve our looks. After purging and preening ourselves to distraction, we allow society to tell us how we compare against the ever-changing ‘ideal’.

Unfortunately, we allow the way we look, and what people think about our appearance affect the way we feel about ourselves.

Modest dress is a requirement in Islam for both men and women equally. In the case of women, the Qur’an states “ O Prophet tell your wives and daughters, and believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons; that is most convenient that they should be known (to be Muslims) and so as not to be annoyed…”(33:59). Muslim women wear the khimar (headscarf) and Islamic dress because Allah (SWT) has instructed us to do so. We don’t wear it to make ourselves look ugly or to bury our beauty but to redeem respect by worshipping the One who created us.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Islammiya28-07-2005, 11:10 PM
In the West most men regard women as highly sexual objects and women unwittingly fall prey to stares and comments even molestation. The headscarf and Islamic dress prevents this; if they are judged it’s for their conduct, personalities and mind, not bodies.

Let’s suppose Muslim women were being forced to cover… how do you explain thousands of Muslims around the world who are protesting for the right to wear the hijab, our right to obey Allah (SWT), our right to be respected for our character and intellect and our right to control what we choose to show of our bodies and to whom?

Muslim women around the world are taking to the streets in their thousands. In London, 2000 people marched outside of the French embassy; women protested in Jordan, and more than 1000 teenage Muslim women marched in Beirut calling for France to overrule its ban. This struggle is nothing new. Women have been protesting for the right to wear the hijab in Turkey in the 90’s with sisters being sent to prison for merely attending peaceful demonstrations.

These educated and articulate sisters have decided to wear the head scarf and Islamic dress in submission to Allah (SWT) and to liberate themselves from an image obsessed society, but they don’t get a mention in the popular media and so the myths are kept alive.

It’s superficial and irresponsible to assume that any woman who wishes to keep her body private is oppressed or has been forced against her will.
What is your opinion on the common labels associated with Muslims, such as "terrorist", "fundamentalist", "extremist"?

To be frank, I think that governments and the media need to start using the dictionary and thesaurus more often to broaden their vocabularies. You can’t pick up a newspaper without reading these phrases. It’s amusing that all you need to do to create a new buzzword is add ‘-ist’ at the end of it and then use it to describe Islam.

I can’t stand this sudden ‘one-size-fits-all’ attitude that’s been adopted when describing Muslims or anything even vaguely Islam-related. A dictionary-defined terrorist as someone who ‘advocates intense fear as a means of coercion’ and also describes a person ‘who panics and causes anxiety’. I would therefore, be correct in labeling alarmist military officials and world leaders as terrorists because of the fear of Islam they brought about. The words used depend on the motives behind what is being said, and this is what it boils down to.

Nowadays people assume that because a Muslim believes the Qur’an is the word of Allah they are “fundamentalists” and “extremists”. Ignorance breeds fear and the people in ruling positions fear the power of Islam so they use emotive labels to create and maintain rampant Islamophobia. I sympathise with the despair of the Muslim people; and this goes for many Muslims. People are only allowed to hear one side of the story and I think it's important that the average Muslim finally has a say. We're really not all bad…you just have to converse with us.


What was your view about Islam and its treatment of women before you converted to Islam?

To be honest, I believed most of the negative things I was told by people who claimed to know about Islam. This was firstly because I had never met or interacted with any Muslims, and secondly, because I was under the assumption that Islam was something that a non- Muslim could never possibly understand, so I didn’t bother trying.

I’m not ashamed to admit that my view of Muslim women was a negative one because I know better now. It wasn’t that I thought the women were bad people, I just felt so sorry for them! I saw them as vulnerable people, completely subordinate to men, with no rights and prevented from having their own opinions! I was told that their lives were terrible; usually being one of 4 wives and probably facing frequent physical and mental abuse, which they accepted as the norm. I had heard stories that women were not allowed to get an education because that was exclusively reserved for men and that Muslim women to all intents and purposes were enslaved.


Has your view changed in any way?

That goes without saying or I certainly wouldn’t be a Muslim now! My previous views were due to ignorance. The biggest amendment I’ve made is that I thought I’d have nothing in common with a practicing Muslimah (female Muslim) but that’s just not true. All the sisters I have met have become my friends and are similar to me and even some of my non- Muslim friends; we enjoy the same pastimes, share views on life and political issues (Islamic and otherwise), in fact we share views on a lot of things.

I’ve found Muslim women to be among the most strong- willed and informed women I’ve come across. I am genuinely impressed by their natural proficiency in critical assessment of situations and those who haven’t gone into higher education show the same sharp intellect as the highly academic people I know. I think it's because Islam encourages us to use our minds more, so our brains are constantly being stimulated and Islam gives the woman the right to seek an education, to have a political voice, views and opinions. In my opinion Muslim women are strong, have a voice, self- confident and self- respecting and should be used as a positive example for all women.

What is your view on the common impression non-Muslims may have that Islam oppresses the woman, and gives her no voice or role in society?

It’s just a shame that such damaging and dismissive views of Muslim women have saturated public (mass- media driven), opinion. It aggravates me that people don’t take the time to educate themselves about Islam and then claim to be experts on the affairs of Muslim women.

How can a religion that earnestly elevated the status of women, giving them control, more than a thousand years ago, awarding them rights that non- Muslim women could only dream of, be oppressive? Islam gave women the right to divorce (although always seen a last resort), even before Christian women in the West. As well as that, a Muslim woman has the right to negotiate her own terms of marriage, including the right to accept or reject a marriage proposal without any pressure so there goes the myth that Islam condones forced marriages.

Islam gives women the right to financial independence –she can earn money and spent it as she wishes, and still has right to be supported by her husband for all her needs. Most significantly, Muslim women have the right to be identified as thinking individuals, rather than being sex objects, they are respected and appreciated.

When the Prophet (PBUH) was asked who among us deserves the most care and respect he replied “your mother (and he repeated this three times)” which goes to show the high esteem and impotence of a woman’s role in society. It is women who produce and nurture a strong and upstanding community and in Islam, this integral role is recognised, honored and rewarded. Yes, sadly some Muslim women are oppressed by men in some parts of the world today but not under the instruction of Islam.


Many have highlighted the oppression of women in Islam due to women's lives in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Iran and Afghanistan under the Taliban regime. What is your opinion on these states and whether they reflect Islam?


I think it’s important to realise that cultural opinions have no relation to, or superiority over true Islamic teachings. These states do not reflect an Islamic caliphate in any way. I won’t claim to be an authority on what goes on in the countries you have mentioned but I do strongly disapprove of some practices. When I read how women are brutally abused by their husbands, or prevented from leaving the house, or denied an education and prevented from carrying out day to day tasks like shopping and driving (all things that we take for granted) it disturbs me.

No one would deny, (not even Muslims) that in a lot of cases, the things that go on in these Muslim majority countries is inexcusable and especially when they are carried out in the name of Islam. Islam prohibits all of these actions and they directly violate the rights awarded to women by Islam. Sadly, for many people Islam is a culture as opposed to a religion and way of life. Often, in Muslim countries Islam is passed down through generations and authentic Islam falls prey to deletions and additions from other cultures leaving a nation or a large section of society confused. They follow what they assume to be Islam, but actually ignorant of the fundamentals of true Islam and its rules of governing a state. You only have to take a sneak peak into the Islamic history to see how women were protected, honored, given the right of education, the right to vote for a caliph, the right to work, and a significant role in society. During the rule of Umar ibn al-Khattab as a caliph, a woman named Shifa was a market judge who was empowered to pass judgments on violations of the public right. This is the true representation of Islam and its rights given to women in society.

My simple reply is that Islam is perfect; humans, on the other hand, are not!
 
I love reading stories about people reverting to Islam, since I am a revert myself and I know how difficult it is.

Thanks for sharing this with us brother!!!

I wish you the best!

Jazak Allah Khair
 
^agree,

but I don't think such an experience should be limited by asking for his views on terrorism, women etc, I mean the interviewer asked such typical questions...
 
:sl:

Jazakallah for Sharing,

I have to say that the reverts value Islam so much when they come back in to the light but like me I have been given it for free and I take it for granted, no Qadar.

:cry:


May Allah accept my duas and I become more grateful

Inshallah

Ameen
 
subhanallah i feel happy to read about reverts. everyone wants to know about the run of the mill terror thing.

i "came out" to my neighbors the other day, and it was a disaster. i got slammed about how we don't do anything to save the face of our religion. what are the moderate muslims doing while extremists hijack their religion?


ummm.... praying? raising families? having a bunch of ignorant people ask them to answer for terrorists and bigots? yeah, that is what we are doing...
 
I know this is an older post but I am new here.
Thank you for posting this, it's inspirational!
 
KittyKat said:
I know this is an older post but I am new here.
Thank you for posting this, it's inspirational!
Click to expand...

This is an account from a recent convert to Islam and he tells his story about his conversion from Christianity to Islam!


Allah (swt) took me on a long journey. Allah knows best.

long story here it goes

I actually had to take tests on Islam in 7th grade in Trumbull Connecticut when I was a kid. Our class book had a whole chapter on Islam that was my early understanding of it but as a Haitian child growing up in a new country culture pride was important so I really did not think that it would be acceptable for me to become a muslim I just did not think too much about it. Years later when I saw Spike Lee's film about Malcolm X the while scene about the Hajj and his discovery of "True" Islam did a lot to help me respect Islam as a religion for the first time.

I went through a lot of struggle with my faith in the Christian path. From attending Catholic private school to attending Baptist churches around the same time. So confusing and full of contradictions, and with so many questions in my mind as people around me prayed to Mary Saint Peter, Saint Joseph, or Pray to Jesus. Inside my soul could not relate I could not find ownership of my faith I did not understand what I Christian was suppose to be because there was over a hundred different groups of Christians worshipping in far different ways. My mother was never really a religious person, she left me in Haiti after I was born to come to the US (Brooklyn NY) to work and I never really knew her until I was 9. So during my childhood in Haiti I was bounched around a lot. I was born with a painful illness Sickle Cell Anemia. So when I got sick the many families I stayed with prayed for me in different ways so I knew there was a God from them but I was not really sure how to reach them seen each family I stayed with believed they followed the true path and the others were going to suffer in Hell. And the worst part of it all Voodoo was used along side of believing in the Bible. Very confusing.

After watching my Mother die in a car crash a few month before my 14th birthday I knew I would have to move again and bounce around from family to family. I vowed to find my own values and beliefs no matter what they believed. While in Art School in Florida for college I was invited to a church called the International Church of Christ... these guys were hardcore, they believed in following Christ to the letter as disciples. Our focus was to go out into the city and invite people to Church on Sunday which was always held at a different convention center since we invited thousands each week. After Church we would invite our guests to Bible Studie where we had a full list of ways to convince them to Accept Jesus as the one who came to die on the cross for there Sins. Tell them to repent and be baptised and be born again and follow Christ's last words become a Fisher of Men. Make more disciples. This Church was well known in the US media as a CULT because of how easy they took in people and broke apart families or so the news said at the time this was the closest I ever felt to doing things "The Right Way" we all believed that all other religions and faiths are doomed it was our mission to convert the whole world to Christ. Before I joined this Church I was the one of the best student designers in school I made honors each time my grades came in and I worked a few jobs to pay for school. After joining the Church I became like a mad man. I guess it was because of the nature of the school... I remember I used my to love comic books and anime so I had a sketch book filled with designs of women for a comic book I wanted to create. While in class the students all came around and praised my drawings as great except for this one guy who came over and saw the nearly nude drawing of one female characther and said "You need Jesus!" as to shame me for my sin. This was Art School in Fort Lauderdale the whole invironment was full of nudity. Even had to spend 8 months in school drawing nude models in class for a grade I was an artist. But his words did cut me deep because I did not believe my heart even saw my drawings in that light but when I joined Church I wanted to repent. And we had to since the brother would call us 3 to 4 times per day and would ask us to confess our Sins. You had to tell them what you felt you did wrong today. Did you look at the people on the beach while on the bus to school? We went down the list of sins with yes and no anwers. This made us believe we were true Christians because we avoided sin and wished to be as pure as Jesus.

Because of my illness I had to be hospitalized often and because of the many hours spent on the streets asking people to come to Church my grades started to fall. I really felt overworked. I remember being very depressed one night and walked for hours around Fort Lauderdale just crying and praying to God to tell me what to do. I had a bunch of watch dogs telling me how I should live for Jesus but none of it made me feel any closer to God than when I was full of lusts and sins. The next day I ran away I left college and Fort Lauderdale and after the brothers told me I would never be saved and I would be surrounded by demons I rejected religion in my life and stopped praying for 10 years. I was getting sicker and lost many jobs became homeless a few times... when I had a home to stay I would work on my Art and Poetry and all of it was about women I felt alone but I was never without a girlfriend.

After the whole 9/11 thing the media never allowed you to forget about Muslims and Islam. They attacked it so hard that I felt like what was this about this was not the religion I studied about in 7th grade. I had grown to hate religion and started to think about learning more about Islam. Well I soon became homeless again and by the time I had found a new place I was really angry about my hardships. A friend who I had avoided because she liked me but she was a super religious Haitian sister, came back into my life telling me I should not live alone and that I needed God. We started dating and since she was penticostal and should not date I decided to give her way of life a try and if we could work it out we would be married. Well I went to Church 3 times per week. Her Church was 90 miles way in Long Island NY so she devoted her life to this since her Father who had died in a car crash in Haiti was a preacher from this same group of Churches. We talked and planned to marry... each time I talked to our pastor about it he did not seem to care much about it our tell us to Hurry to avoid sin. While in Church I would try so hard to get closer to God to avoid sin but the preaching always made me angry the interpretation of the Bible did no feel right to me. At one time the Pastor of Church praised my Girlfriend and her Sisters and told the story of how hard they worked for God after their father died. He went on to say these girls came from Haiti went to school had good jobs and now owned their own homes because they had Jesus in there lives. He then shocked me by saying THEY DID NOT NEED A MAN. So I had been dating this girl for over 3 years at this Church and many times told the pastor that I should be married and he said this without a care that I felt I was living in Sin. A few years after that I left the relationship and I left Church.

For a full year I was thinking of ending my life... I believed if there was a God he must have hated me... and sometimes I wanted to be like most of the world and not believe at all.

I heard Obama defend himself from accusations of being a muslim by saying he Prayed to Jesus everyday. What hit me was a question that came into my mind at the moment. What was so wrong about Praying to Allah?

Last Month I was on a video gaming forum where I spent most of my time online... in the Off Topic forum a guy posted he converted to Islam. The thread was full of amused haters but also full of congrats I also posted congrats there was another thread on this forum called the Islamic Thread where we could ask questions to muslim members of the forum. I asked many questions and started to google for my own anwers. I spent thanksgiving with my Godmother's family the woman who took me in after my mom died. I had not visited them in many years due to their voodoo practice... On the dinner table I told her I was about to convert to Islam so I told her I did not want to eat the pork. The news about india was on the TV and she commented that new she said wow this Hotel had a beautiful name. I asked which one? She replied Taj. She warned me not to get arrested and to becareful. Since she was like my second mother I did my best to reply to her fears. She even asked me why do the women cover their heads like that. I answered in a way she would understand due to her Catholic/Voodoo beliefs... I said Mary is highly respected in Islam and pointed to her framed image of Mary with her head covered. I know it was about modesty but I also knew she really knew nothing about the real Mary. So I left it at that. The next day I found my local Islamic Center and asked the brothers inside... I was shocked it was not some non-profit group's office but a mosque I asked about converting to Islam a few hours later it was done.
I am very protective of my faith now, I am very careful not to fall into the same religious traps I have faced in my path. I am taking things slow and submit myself to Allah's Guidance. My main error while seeking God all this time was allowing men to guide me. This is very dangerous because this makes your guides to seem as god, whatever they said to judge your path you followed without question to please them. But you are not called to serve or worship any other but Allah. I was so wrong in trying to please everyone. I am careful now although I am humbled by the lack of knowledge about Islam I can already see the dangers of following an elder and his ways. I am at peace with that because Allah has already provided an easy guide to how I should live my life. His Prophet Muhammad (peace be unto him). So I do not have to fall into the same mistakes of wanting to be acceptable to men but I can learn about how the Prophet lived and do my best to follow what pleases Allah.

I'm sorry this is so long but this is the greatest thing to happen to me in my life

Allah knows best

Christian Minister Converts to Islam - Why?

A minister of the Methodist Church, complete with a degree in divinity, author of many publications - choses ISLAM.

His former congregation wants to know, "Why?"

Former minister (deacon) of the United Methodist Church. He holds a Master's degree in Divinity from Harvard University and a Doctorate in Psychology from the University of Denver. Author of The Cross and the Crescent: An Interfaith Dialogue between Christianity and Islam (ISBN 1-59008-002-5 - Amana Publications, 2001). He has published over 60 articles in the field of clinical psychology, and over 150 articles on Arabian horses .

Read his story in his own words:


One of my earliest childhood memories is of hearing the church bell toll for Sunday morning worship in the small, rural town in which I was raised. The Methodist Church was an old, wooden structure with a bell tower, two children's Sunday School classrooms cubbyholed behind folding, wooden doors to separate it from the sanctuary, and a choir loft that housed the Sunday school classrooms for the older children.

It stood less than two blocks from my home. As the bell rang, we would come together as a family, and make our weekly pilgrimage to the church. In that rural setting from the 1950s, the three churches in the town of about 500 were the center of community life. The local Methodist Church, to which my family belonged, sponsored ice cream socials with hand-cranked, homemade ice cream, chicken potpie dinners, and corn roasts. My family and I were always involved in all three, but each came only once a year. In addition, there was a two-week community Bible school every June, and I was a regular attendee through my eighth grade year in school.

However, Sunday morning worship and Sunday school were weekly events, and I strove to keep extending my collection of perfect attendance pins and of awards for memorizing Bible verses. By my junior high school days, the local Methodist Church had closed, and we were attending the Methodist Church in the neighboring town, which was only slightly larger than the town in which I lived. There, my thoughts first began to focus on the ministry as a personal calling. I became active in the Methodist Youth Fellowship, and eventually served as both a district and a conference officer. I also became the regular "preacher" during the annual Youth Sunday service. My preaching began to draw community- wide attention, and before long I was occasionally filling pulpits at other churches, at a nursing home, and at various church-affiliated youth and ladies groups, where I typically set attendance records.

By age 17, when I began my freshman year at Harvard College, my decision to enter the ministry had solidified. During my freshman year, I enrolled in a two-semester course in comparative religion, which was taught by Wilfred Cantwell Smith, whose specific area of expertise was Islam. During that course, I gave far less attention to Islam, than I did to other religions, such as Hinduism and Buddhism, as the latter two seemed so much more esoteric and strange to me. In contrast, Islam appeared to be somewhat similar to my own Christianity. As such, I didn't concentrate on it as much as I probably should have, although I can remember writing a term paper for the course on the concept of revelation in the Qur'an. Nonetheless, as the course was one of rigorous academic standards and demands, I did acquire a small library of about a half dozen books on Islam, all of which were written by non-Muslims, and all of which were to serve me in good stead 25 years later. I also acquired two different English translations of the meaning of the Qur'an, which I read at the time.

That spring, Harvard named me a Hollis Scholar, signifying that I was one of the top pre-theology students in the college. The summer between my freshman and sophomore years at Harvard, I worked as a youth minister at a fairly large United Methodist Church. The following summer, I obtained my License to Preach from the United Methodist Church. Upon graduating from Harvard College in 1971, I enrolled at the Harvard Divinity School, and there obtained my Master of Divinity degree in 1974, having been previously ordained into the Deaconate of the United Methodist Church in 1972, and having previously received a Stewart Scholarship from the United Methodist Church as a supplement to my Harvard Divinity School scholarships. During my seminary education, I also completed a two-year externship program as a hospital chaplain at Peter Bent Brigham Hospital in Boston. Following graduation from Harvard Divinity School, I spent the summer as the minister of two United Methodist churches in rural Kansas, where attendance soared to heights not seen in those churches for several years.

Seen from the outside, I was a very promising young minister, who had received an excellent education, drew large crowds to the Sunday morning worship service, and had been successful at every stop along the ministerial path. However, seen from the inside, I was fighting a constant war to maintain my personal integrity in the face of my ministerial responsibilities. This war was far removed from the ones presumably fought by some later televangelists in unsuccessfully trying to maintain personal sexual morality. Likewise, it was a far different war than those fought by the headline-grabbing pedophilic priests of the current moment. However, my struggle to maintain personal integrity may be the most common one encountered by the better-educated members of the ministry.

There is some irony in the fact that the supposedly best, brightest, and most idealistic of ministers-to-be are selected for the very best of seminary education, e.g. that offered at that time at the Harvard Divinity School. The irony is that, given such an education, the seminarian is exposed to as much of the actual historical truth as is known about:

1) the formation of the early, "mainstream" church, and how it was shaped by geopolitical considerations
2) the "original" reading of various Biblical texts, many of which are in sharp contrast to what most Christians read when they pick up their Bible, although gradually some of this information is being incorporated into newer and better translations;

3) the evolution of such concepts as a triune godhead and the "sonship" of Jesus, peace be upon him;

4) the non-religious considerations that underlie many Christian creeds and doctrines;

5) the existence of those early churches and Christian movements which never accepted the concept of a triune godhead, and which never accepted the concept of the divinity of Jesus, peace be upon him; and 6) etc. (Some of these fruits of my seminary education are recounted in more detail in my recent book, The Cross and the Crescent: An Interfaith Dialogue between Christianity and Islam, Amana Publications, 2001.)

As such, it is no real wonder that almost a majority of such seminary graduates leave seminary, not to "fill pulpits", where they would be asked to preach that which they know is not true, but to enter the various counseling professions. Such was also the case for me, as I went on to earn a master's and doctorate in clinical psychology. I continued to call myself a Christian, because that was a needed bit of self-identity, and because I was, after all, an ordained minister, even though my full time job was as a mental health professional. However, my seminary education had taken care of any belief I might have had regarding a triune godhead or the divinity of Jesus, peace be upon him.

(Polls regularly reveal that ministers are less likely to believe these and other dogmas of the church than are the laity they serve, with ministers more likely to understand such terms as "son of God" metaphorically, while their parishioners understand it literally.) I thus became a "Christmas and Easter Christian", attending church very sporadically, and then gritting my teeth and biting my tongue as I listened to sermons espousing that which I knew was not the case.

None of the above should be taken to imply that I was any less religious or spiritually oriented than I had once been. I prayed regularly, my belief in a supreme deity remained solid and secure, and I conducted my personal life in line with the ethics I had once been taught in church and Sunday school. I simply knew better than to buy into the man-made dogmas and articles of faith of the organized church, which were so heavily laden with the pagan influences, polytheistic notions, and geo-political considerations of a bygone era.


As the years passed by, I became increasingly concerned about the loss of religiousness in American society at large. Religiousness is a living, breathing spirituality and morality within individuals, and should not be confused with religiosity, which is concerned with the rites, rituals, and formalized creeds of some organized entity, e.g. the church. American culture increasingly appeared to have lost its moral and religious compass. Two out of every three marriages ended in divorce; violence was becoming an increasingly inherent part of our

schools and our roads; self-responsibility was on the wane; self- discipline was being submerged by a "if it feels good, do it" morality; various Christian leaders and institutions were being swamped by sexual and financial scandals; and emotions justified behavior, however odious it might be. American culture was becoming a morally bankrupt institution, and I was feeling quite alone in my personal religious vigil.

It was at this juncture that I began to come into contact with the local Muslim community. For some years before, my wife and I had been actively involved in doing research on the history of the Arabian horse.
Eventually, in order to secure translations of various Arabic documents, this research brought weus into contact with Arab Americans who happened to be Muslims. Our first such contact was with Jamal in the summer of 1991. After an initial telephone conversation, Jamal visited our home, and offered to do some translations for us, and to help guide us through the history of the Arabian horse in the Middle East. Before Jamal left that afternoon, he asked if he might: use our bathroom to wash before saying his scheduled prayers; and borrow a piece of newspaper to use as a prayer rug, so he could say his scheduled prayers before leaving our house. We, of course, obliged, but wondered if there was something more appropriate that we could give him to use than a newspaper. Without our ever realizing it at the time, Jamal was practicing a very beautiful form of Dawa (preaching or exhortation). He made no comment about the fact that we were not Muslims, and he didn't preach anything to us about his religious beliefs. He "merely" presented us with his example, an example that spoke volumes, if one were willing to be receptive to the lesson.

Over the next 16 months, contact with Jamal slowly increased in frequency, until it was occurring on a biweekly toekly basis. During these visits, Jamal never preached to me about Islam, never questioned me about my own religious beliefs or convictions, and never verbally suggested that I become a Muslim. However, I was beginning to learn a lot. First, there was the constant behavioral example of Jamal observing his scheduled prayers. Second, there was the behavioral example of how Jamal conducted his daily life in a highly moral and ethical manner, both in his business world and in his social world.

Third, there was the behavioral example of how Jamal interacted with his two children. For my wife, Jamal's wife provided a similar example. Fourth, always within the framework of helping me to understand Arabian horse history in the Middle East, Jamal began to share with me:

1) stories from Arab and Islamic history;


2) sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him; and


3) Qur'anic verses and their contextual meaning.



In point of fact, our every visit now included at least a 30 minute conversation centered on some aspect of Islam, but always presented in terms of helping me intellectually understand the Islamic context of Arabian horse history. I was never told "this is the way things are", I was merely told "this is what Muslims typically believe".

Since I wasn't being "preached to", and since Jamal never inquired as to my own beliefs, I didn't need to bother attempting to justify my own position. It was all handled as an intellectual exercise, not as proselytizing. Gradually, Jamal began to introduce us to other Arab families in the local Muslim community. There was Wa'el and his family, Khalid and his family, and a few others. Consistently, I observed individuals and families who were living their lives on a much higher ethical plane than the American society in which we were all embedded. Maybe there was something to the practice of Islam that I had missed during my collegiate and seminary days.

By December, 1992, I was beginning to ask myself some serious questions about where I was and what I was doing. These questions were prompted by the following considerations. 1) Over the course of the prior 16 months, our social life had become increasingly centered on the Arab component of the local Muslim community. By December, probably 75% of our social life was being spent with Arab Muslims.

2) By virtue of my seminary training and education, I knew how badly the Bible had been corrupted (and often knew exactly when, where, and why), I had no belief in any triune godhead, and I had no belief in anything more than a metaphorical "sonship" of Jesus, peace be upon him. In short, while I certainly believed in God, I was as strict a monotheist as my Muslim friends.

3) My personal values and sense of morality were much more in keeping with my Muslim friends than with the "Christian" society around me. After all, I had the non-confrontational examples of Jamal, Khalid, and Wa'el as illustrations. In short, my nostalgic yearning for the type of community in which I had been raised was finding gratification in the Muslim community.

American society might be morally bankrupt, but that did not appear to be the case for that part of the Muslim community with which I had had contact. Marriages were stable, spouses were committed to each other, and honesty, integrity, self-responsibility, and family values were emphasized. My wife and I had attempted to live our lives that same way, but for several years I had felt that we were doing so in the context of a moral vacuum. The Muslim community appeared to be different.

The different threads were being woven together into a single strand. Arabian horses, my childhood upbringing, my foray into the Christian ministry and my seminary education, my nostalgic yearnings for a moral society, and my contact with the Muslim community were becoming intricately intertwined. My self-questioning came to a head when I finally got around to asking myself exactly what separated me from the beliefs of my Muslim friends. I suppose that I could have raised that question with Jamal or with Khalid, but I wasn't ready to take that step. I had never discussed my own religious beliefs with them, and I didn't think that I wanted to introduce that topic of conversation into our friendship. As such, I began to pull off the bookshelf all the books on Islam that I had acquired in my collegiate and seminary days.

However far my own beliefs were from the traditional position of the church, and however seldom I actually attended church, I still identified myself as being a Christian, and so I turned to the works of Western scholars. That month of December, I read half a dozen or so books on Islam by Western scholars, including one biography of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Further, I began to read two different English translations of the meaning of the Qur'an. I never spoke to my Muslim friends about this personal quest of self- discovery.

I never mentioned what types of books I was reading, nor ever spoke about why I was reading these books. However, occasionally I would run a very circumscribed question past one of them.


While I never spoke to my Muslim friends about those books, my wife and I had numerous conversations about what I was reading. By the last week of December of 1992, I was forced to admit to myself, that I could find no area of substantial disagreement between my own religious beliefs and the general tenets of Islam. While I was ready to acknowledge that Muhammad, peace be upon him, was a prophet of (one who spoke for or under the inspiration of) God, and while I had absolutely no difficulty affirming that there was no god besides God/Allah, glorified and exalted is He, I was still hesitating to make any decision. I could readily admit to myself that I had far more in common with Islamic beliefs as I then understood them, than I did with the traditional Christianity of the organized church. I knew only too well that I could easily confirm from my seminary training and education most of what the Qur'an had to say about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus, peace be upon him. Nonetheless, I hesitated. Further, I rationalized my hesitation by maintaining to myself that I really didn't know the nitty-gritty details of Islam, and that my areas of agreement were confined to general concepts. As such, I continued to read, and then to re-read.

One's sense of identity, of who one is, is a powerful affirmation of one's own position in the cosmos. In my professional practice, I had occasionally been called upon to treat certain addictive disorders, ranging from smoking, to alcoholism, to drug abuse. As a clinician, I knew that the basic physical addiction had to be overcome to create the initial abstinence. That was the easy part of treatment. As Mark Twain once said: "Quitting smoking is easy; I've done it hundreds of times".

However, I also knew that the key to maintaining that abstinence over an extended time period was overcoming the client's psychological addiction, which was heavily grounded in the client's basic sense of identity, i.e. the client identified to himself that he was "a smoker",

or that he was "a drinker", etc. The addictive behavior had become part and parcel of the client's basic sense of identity, of the client's basic sense of self. Changing this sense of identity was crucial to the maintenance of the psychotherapeutic "cure". This was the difficult part of treatment. Changing one's basic sense of identity is a most difficult task. One's psyche tends to cling to the old and familiar, which seem more psychologically comfortable and secure than the new and unfamiliar.On a professional basis, I had the above knowledge, and used it on a daily basis. However, ironically enough, I was not yet ready to apply it to myself, and to the issue of my own hesitation surrounding my religious identity. For 43 years, my religious identity had been neatly labeled as "Christian", however many qualifications I might have added to that term over the years. Giving up that label of personal identity was no easy task. It was part and parcel of how I defined my very being. Given the benefit of hindsight, it is clear that my hesitation served the purpose of insuring that I could keep my familiar religious identity of being a Christian, although a Christian who believed like a Muslim believed.


It was now the very end of December, and my wife and I were filling out our application forms for U.S. passports, so that a proposed Middle Eastern journey could become a reality. One of the questions had to do with religious affiliation. I didn't even think about it, and automatically fell back on the old and familiar, as I penned in "Christian". It was easy, it was familiar, and it was comfortable. However, that comfort was momentarily disrupted when my wife asked me how I had answered the question on religious identity on the application form. I immediately replied, "Christian", and chuckled audibly. Now, one of Freud's contributions to the understanding of the human psyche was his realization that laughter is often a release of psychological tension. However wrong Freud may have been in many aspects of his theory of psychosexual development, his insights into laughter were quite on target. I had laughed! What was this psychological tension that I had need to release through the medium of laughter? I then hurriedly went on to offer my wife a brief affirmation that I was a Christian, not a Muslim. In response to which, she politely informed me that she was merely asking whether I had written "Christian", or "Protestant", or "Methodist". On a professional basis, I knew that a person does not defend himself against an accusation that hasn't been made. (If, in the course of a session of psychotherapy, my client blurted out, "I'm not angry about that", and I hadn't even broached the topic of anger, it was clear that my client was feeling the need to defend himself against a charge that his own unconscious was making. In short, he really was angry, but he wasn't ready to admit it or to deal with it.) If my wife hadn't made the accusation, i.e. "you are a Muslim", then the accusation had to have come from my own unconscious, as I was the only other person present. I was aware of this, but still I hesitated. The religious label that had been stuck to my sense of identity for 43 years was not going to come off easily.

About a month had gone by since my wife's question to me. It was now late in January of 1993. I had set aside all the books on Islam by the Western scholars, as I had read them all thoroughly. The two English translations of the meaning of the Qur'an were back on the bookshelf, and I was busy reading yet a third English translation of the meaning of the Qur'an. Maybe in this translation I would find some sudden justification for.

I was taking my lunch hour from my private practice at a local Arab restaurant that I had started to frequent. I entered as usual, seated myself at a small table, and opened my third English translation of the meaning of the Qur'an to where I had left off in my reading. I figured I might as well get some reading done over my lunch hour. Moments later, I became aware that Mahmoud was at my shoulder, and waiting to take my order. He glanced at what I was reading, but said nothing about it. My order taken, I returned to the solitude of my reading.

A few minutes later, Mahmoud's wife, Iman, an American Muslim, who wore the Hijab (scarf) and modest dress that I had come to associate with female Muslims, brought me my order. She commented that I was reading the Qur'an, and politely asked if I were a Muslim. The word was out of my mouth before it could be modified by any social etiquette or politeness: "No!" That single word was said forcefully, and with more than a hint of irritability. With that, Iman politely retired from my table.

What was happening to me? I had behaved rudely and somewhat aggressively. What had this woman done to deserve such behavior from me? This wasn't like me. Given my childhood upbringing, I still used "sir" and "ma'am" when addressing clerks and cashiers who were waiting on me in stores. I could pretend to ignore my own laughter as a release of tension, but I couldn't begin to ignore this sort of unconscionable behavior from myself. My reading was set aside, and I mentally stewed over this turn of events throughout my meal. The more I stewed, the guiltier I felt about my behavior. I knew that when Iman brought me my check at the end of the meal, I was going to need to make some amends.

If for no other reason, simple politeness demanded it. Furthermore, I was really quite disturbed about how resistant I had been to her innocuous question. What was going on in me that I responded with that much force to such a simple and straightforward question? Why did that one, simple question lead to such atypical behavior on my part?

Later, when Iman came with my check, I attempted a round-about apology by saying: "I'm afraid I was a little abrupt in answering your question before. If you were asking me whether I believe that there is only one God, then my answer is yes. If you were asking me whether I believe that Muhammad was one of the prophets of that one God, then my answer is yes." She very nicely and very supportively said: "That's okay; it takes some people a little longer than others."

Perhaps, the readers of this will be kind enough to note the psychological games I was playing with myself without chuckling too hard at my mental gymnastics and behavior. I well knew that in my own way, using my own words, I had just said the Shahadah, the Islamic testimonial of faith, i.e. "I testify that there is no god but Allah, and I testify that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah". However, having said that, and having recognized what I said, I could still cling to my old and familiar label of religious identity. After all, I hadn't said I was a Muslim. I was simply a Christian, albeit an atypical Christian, who was willing to say that there was one God, not a triune godhead, and who was willing to say that Muhammad was one of the prophets inspired by that one God. If a Muslim wanted to accept me as being a Muslim that was his or her business, and his or her label of religious identity. However, it was not mine. I thought I had found my way out of my crisis of religious identity. I was a Christian, who would carefully explain that I agreed with, and was willing to testify to, the Islamic testimonial of faith. Having made my tortured explanation, and having parsed the English language to within an inch of its life, others could hang whatever label on me they wished. It was their label, and not mine.It was now March of 1993, and my wife and I were enjoying a five-week vacation in the Middle East. It was also the Islamic month of Ramadan, when Muslims fast from day break until sunset. Because we were so often staying with or being escorted around by family members of our Muslim friends back in the States, my wife and I had decided that we also would fast, if for no other reason than common courtesy. During this time, I had also started to perform the five daily prayers of Islam with my newfound, Middle Eastern, Muslim friends. After all, there was nothing in those prayers with which I could disagree.

I was a Christian, or so I said. After all, I had been born into a Christian family, had been given a Christian upbringing, had attended church and Sunday school every Sunday as a child, had graduated from a prestigious seminary, and was an ordained minister in a large Protestant denomination. However, I was also a Christian: who didn't believe in a triune godhead or in the divinity of Jesus, peace be upon him; who knew quite well how the Bible had been corrupted; who had said the Islamic testimony of faith in my own carefully parsed words; who had fasted during Ramadan; who was saying Islamic prayers five times a day; and who was deeply impressed by the behavioral examples I had witnessed in the Muslim community, both in America and in the Middle East. (Time and space do not permit me the luxury of documenting in detail all of the examples of personal morality and ethics I encountered in the Middle East.) If asked if I were a Muslim, I could and did do a five-minute monologue detailing the above, and basically leaving the question unanswered. I was playing intellectual word games, and succeeding at them quite nicely.

It was now late in our Middle Eastern trip. An elderly friend who spoke no English and I were walking down a winding, little road, somewhere in one of the economically disadvantaged areas of greater 'Amman, Jordan. As we walked, an elderly man approached us from the opposite direction, said, "Salam 'Alaykum", i.e., "peace be upon you", and offered to shake hands. We were the only three people there. I didn't speak Arabic, and neither my friend nor the stranger spoke English. Looking at me, the stranger asked, "Muslim?"

At that precise moment in time, I was fully and completely trapped. There were no intellectual word games to be played, because I could only communicate in English, and they could only communicate in Arabic. There was no translator present to bail me out of this situation, and to allow me to hide behind my carefully prepared English monologue. I couldn't pretend I didn't understand the question, because it was all too obvious that I had. My choices were suddenly, unpredictably, and inexplicably reduced to just two: I could say "N'am", i.e., "yes"; or I could say "La", i.e., "no". The choice was mine, and I had no other. I had to choose, and I had to choose now; it was just that simple. Praise be to Allah, I answered, "N'am".

With saying that one word, all the intellectual word games were now behind me. With the intellectual word games behind me, the psychological games regarding my religious identity were also behind me.

I wasn't some strange, atypical Christian. I was a Muslim. Praise be to Allah, my wife of 33 years also became a Muslim about that same time. Not too many months after our return to America from the Middle East, a neighbor invited us over to his house, saying that he wanted to talk with us about our conversion to Islam. He was a retired Methodist minister, with whom I had had several conversations in the past. Although we had occasionally talked superficially about such issues as the artificial construction of the Bible from various, earlier, independent sources, we had never had any in-depth conversation about religion. I knew only that he appeared to have acquired a solid seminary education, and that he sang in the local church choir every Sunday.

My initial reaction was, "Oh, oh, here it comes". Nonetheless, it is a Muslim's duty to be a good neighbor, and it is a Muslim's duty to be willing to discuss Islam with others. As such, I accepted the invitation for the following evening, and spent most of the waking part of the next 24 hours contemplating how best to approach this gentleman in his requested topic of conversation. The appointed time came, and we drove over to our neighbor's. After a few moments of small talk, he finally asked why I had decided to become a Muslim. I had waited for this question, and had my answer carefully prepared. "As you know with your seminary education, there were a lot of non-religious considerations which led up to and shaped the decisions of the Council of Nicaea." He immediately cut me off with a simple statement: "You finally couldn't stomach the polytheism anymore, could you?" He knew exactly why I was a Muslim, and he didn't disagree with my decision!

For himself, at his age and at his place in life, he was electing to be "an atypical Christian". Allah willing, he has by now completed his journey from cross to crescent. There are sacrifices to be made in being a Muslim in America. For that matter, there are sacrifices to be made in being a Muslim anywhere. However, those sacrifices may be more acutely felt in America, especially among American converts. Some of those sacrifices are very predictable, and include altered dress and abstinence from alcohol, pork, and the taking of interest on one's money. Some of those sacrifices are less predictable. For example, one Christian family, with whom we were close friends, informed us that they could no longer associate with us, as they could not associate with anyone "who does not take Jesus Christ as his personal savior". In addition, quite a few of my professional colleagues altered their manner of relating to me.

Whether it was coincidence or not, my professional referral base dwindled, and there was almost a 30% drop in income as a result. Some of these less predictable sacrifices were hard to accept, although the sacrifices were a small price to pay for what was received in return.

For those contemplating the acceptance of Islam and the surrendering of oneself to Allah-glorified and exalted is He, there may well be sacrifices along the way. Many of these sacrifices are easily predicted, while others may be rather surprising and unexpected. There is no denying the existence of these sacrifices, and I don't intend to sugar coat that pill for you. Nonetheless, don't be overly troubled by these sacrifices. In the final analysis, these sacrifices are less important than you presently think. Allah willing, you will find these sacrifices a very cheap coin to pay for the "goods" you are purchasing.

Last Updated ( Friday, 20 July 2007 )


Sources:

http://www.islamfortoday.com/converts.htm

http://www.muslimaccess.com/articles/misc/christian_convert_1.asp
 
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Marwa's conversion story
How a headstrong Slovakian teenager found solace and contentment in Islam.

I converted to Islam just over one year ago. I'm from Slovakia (Europe), but I lived in England for 2 two years and also in Holland. I never really cared about any religion. I didn't have religious friends or anything like that. I was a usual teenager. Then I left home when I was 18 and went to work in England as an au-pair. I loved it. And of course I went really wild.

When I was 21 I came to Holland. I was unhappy for a long time. I met my husband just 2 weeks after my arrival. We fell head over heels in love and he introduced me to Islam. I needed it. I have a very strong personality and say what I want. It brought me trouble sometimes. I have a diploma from Commercial College, two certificates for English (one for tourism and business) and know a lot about the world of economy and politics.

But I needed some spirituality. I found it in God. It might seem I did it for my husband, but it is not true. He said it was my own decision whether I do it or not. Since I did I feel very happy. Somehow complete and fulfilled. It is difficult at times to explain to my parents or friends, but they try to understand.

I know I did some bad things in my life, but I also believe that our Creator is the Most-forgiving, Most-merciful. I'm trying to be as good as I can. Islam brought me my freedom and happiness. It's hard to explain how I feel, but I know that my fellow sisters and brothers will understand how it is to stand alone. My home country is very intolerant against Muslims, so I'll have a hard time when I go and see my parents. But God will help me to go through it.

There are still things I need to find out and I cannot wait to know them all. I realised one thing since I became a Muslimah and started wearing Hijab. Fellow Muslims smile at me and say Inshaalah or Alhamdulillah. It's a great feeling.

This is my story in short. Peace be upon you all. Ma`a assalama,

Marwa

April 2002

Becoming Muslim - by Nuh Ha Mim Keller

"I studied philosophy at the university and it taught me to ask two things of whoever claimed to have the truth: What do you mean, and how do you know? When I asked these questions of my own religious tradition, I found no answers, and realized that Christianity had slipped from my hands."

The story of American former Catholic, Nuh Ha Mim Keller, who in the 25 years since his conversion has gone on to become one of the leading contemporary scholars of Islam.

Born in 1954 in the farm country of the northwestern United States, I was raised in a religious family as a Roman Catholic. The Church provided a spiritual world that was unquestionable in my childhood, if anything more real than the physical world around me, but as I grew older, and especially after I entered a Catholic university and read more, my relation to the religion became increasingly called into question, in belief and practice.

One reason was the frequent changes in Catholic liturgy and ritual that occurred in the wake of the Second Vatican Council of 1963, suggesting to laymen that the Church had no firm standards. To one another, the clergy spoke about flexibility and liturgical relevance, but to ordinary Catholics they seemed to be groping in the dark. God does not change, nor the needs of the human soul, and there was no new revelation from heaven. Yet we rang in the changes, week after week, year after year; adding, subtracting, changing the language from Latin to English, finally bringing in guitars and folk music. Priests explained and explained as laymen shook their heads. The search for relevance left large numbers convinced that there had not been much in the first place.

A second reason was a number of doctrinal difficulties, such as the doctrine of the Trinity, which no one in the history of the world, neither priest nor layman, had been able to explain in a convincing way, and which resolved itself, to the common mind at least, in a sort of godhead-by-committee, shared between God the Father, who ruled the world from heaven; His son Jesus Christ, who saved humanity on earth; and the Holy Ghost, who was pictured as a white dove and appeared to have a considerably minor role. I remember wanting to make special friends with just one of them so he could handle my business with the others, and to this end, would sometimes pray earnestly to this one and sometimes to that; but the other two were always stubbornly there. I finally decided that God the Father must be in charge of the other two, and this put the most formidable obstacle in the way of my Catholicism, the divinity of Christ. Moreover, reflection made it plain that the nature of man contradicted the nature of God in every particular, the limitary and finite on the one hand, the absolute and infinite on the other. That Jesus was God was something I cannot remember having ever really believed, in childhood or later.

Another point of incredulity was the trading of the Church in stocks and bonds in the hereafter which it called indulgences. Do such and such and so-and-so many years will be remitted from your sentence in purgatory. That had seemed so false to Martin Luther at the outset of the Reformation.

I also remember a desire for a sacred scripture, something on the order of a book that could furnish guidance. A Bible was given to me one Christmas, a handsome edition, but on attempting to read it, I found it so rambling and devoid of a coherent thread that it was difficult to think of a way to base one's life upon it. Only later did I learn how Christians solve the difficulty in practice, Protestants by creating sectarian theologies, each emphasizing the texts of their sect and downplaying the rest; Catholics by downplaying it all, except the snippets mentioned in their liturgy. Something seemed lacking in a sacred book that could not be read as an integral whole.

Moreover, when I went to the university, I found that the authenticity of the book, especially the New Testament, had come into considerable doubt as a result of modern hermeneutical studies by Christians themselves. In a course on contemporary theology, I read the Norman Perrin translation of The Problem of the Historical Jesus by Joachim Jeremias, one of the principal New Testament scholars of this century. A textual critic who was a master of the original languages and had spent long years with the texts, he had finally agreed with the German theologian Rudolph Bultmann that, without a doubt, it is true to say that the dream of ever writing a biography of Jesus is over, meaning that the life of Christ as he actually lived it could not be reconstructed from the New Testament with any degree of confidence. If this were accepted from a friend of Christianity and one of its foremost textual experts, I reasoned, what was left for its enemies to say? And what then remained of the Bible except to acknowledge that it was a record of truths mixed with fictions, conjectures projected onto Christ by later followers, themselves at odds with each other as to who the master had been and what he had taught. And if theologians like Jeremias could reassure themselves that somewhere under the layers of later accretions to the New Testament there was something called the historical Jesus and his message, how could the ordinary person hope to find it, or know it, should it be found?

I studied philosophy at the university and it taught me to ask two things of whoever claimed to have the truth: What do you mean, and how do you know? When I asked these questions of my own religious tradition, I found no answers, and realized that Christianity had slipped from my hands. I then embarked on a search that is perhaps not unfamiliar to many young people in the West, a quest for meaning in a meaningless world.

I began where I had lost my previous belief, with the philosophers, yet wanting to believe, seeking not philosophy, but rather a philosophy. I read the essays of the great pessimist Arthur Schopenhauer, which taught about the phenomenon of the ages of life, and that money, fame, physical strength, and intelligence all passed from one with the passage of years, but only moral excellence remained. I took this lesson to heart and remembered it in after years. His essays also drew attention to the fact that a person was wont to repudiate in later years what he fervently espouses in the heat of youth.

With a prescient wish to find the Divine, I decided to imbue myself with the most cogent arguments of atheism that I could find, that perhaps I might find a way out of them later. So I read the Walter Kaufmann translations of the works of the immoralist Friedrich Nietzsche. The many-faceted genius dissected the moral judgments and beliefs of mankind with brilliant philological and psychological arguments that ended in accusing human language itself, and the language of nineteenth-century science in particular, of being so inherently determined and mediated by concepts inherited from the language of morality that in their present form they could never hope to uncover reality. Aside from their immunological value against total skepticism, Nietzsche's works explained why the West was post-Christian, and accurately predicted the unprecedented savagery of the twentieth century, debunking the myth that science could function as a moral replacement for the now dead religion.

At a personal level, his tirades against Christianity, particularly in The Genealogy of Morals, gave me the benefit of distilling the beliefs of the monotheistic tradition into a small number of analyzable forms. He separated unessential concepts (such as the bizarre spectacle of an omnipotent deity's suicide on the cross) from essential ones, which I now, though without believing in them, apprehended to be but three alone: that God existed; that He created man in the world and defined the conduct expected of him in it; and that He would judge man accordingly in the hereafter and send him to eternal reward or punishment.

It was during this time that I read an early translation of the Koran which I grudgingly admired, between agnostic reservations, for the purity with which it presented these fundamental concepts. Even if false, I thought, there could not be a more essential expression of religion. As a literary work, the translation, perhaps it was Sales, was uninspired and openly hostile to its subject matter, whereas I knew the Arabic original was widely acknowledged for its beauty and eloquence among the religious books of mankind. I felt a desire to learn Arabic to read the original.

On a vacation home from school, I was walking upon a dirt road between some fields of wheat, and it happened that the sun went down. By some inspiration, I realized that it was a time of worship, a time to bow and pray to the one God. But it was not something one could rely on oneself to provide the details of, but rather a passing fancy, or perhaps the beginning of an awareness that atheism was an inauthentic way of being.

I carried something of this disquiet with me when I transferred to the University of Chicago, where I studied the epistemology of ethical theory how moral judgments were reached reading and searching among the books of the philosophers for something to shed light on the question of meaninglessness, which was both a personal concern and one of the central philosophical problems of our age.

According to some, scientific observation could only yield description statements of the form X is Y, for example, The object is red, Its weight is two kilos, Its height is ten centimeters, and so on, in each of which the functional was a scientifically verifiable is, whereas in moral judgments the functional element was an ought, a description statement which no amount of scientific observation could measure or verify. It appeared that ought was logically meaningless, and with it all morality whatsoever, a position that reminded me of those described by Lucian in his advice that whoever sees a moral philosopher coming down the road should flee from him as from a mad dog. For such a person, expediency ruled, and nothing checked his behavior but convention.

As Chicago was a more expensive school, and I had to raise tuition money, I found summer work on the West Coast with a seining boat fishing in Alaska. The sea proved a school in its own right, one I was to return to for a space of eight seasons, for the money. I met many people on boats, and saw something of the power and greatness of the wind, water, storms, and rain; and the smallness of man. These things lay before us like an immense book, but my fellow fishermen and I could only discern the letters of it that were within our context: to catch as many fish as possible within the specified time to sell to the tenders. Few knew how to read the book as a whole. Sometimes, in a blow, the waves rose like great hills, and the captain would hold the wheel with white knuckles, our bow one minute plunging gigantically down into a valley of green water, the next moment reaching the bottom of the trough and soaring upwards towards the sky before topping the next crest and starting down again.

Early in my career as a deck hand, I had read the Hazel Barnes translation of Jean Paul Sartres "Being and Nothingness",in which he argued that phenomena only arose for consciousness in the existential context of human projects, a theme that recalled Marx's 1844 manuscripts, where nature was produced by man, meaning, for example, that when the mystic sees a stand of trees, his consciousness hypostatizes an entirely different phenomenal object than a poet does, for example, or a capitalist. To the mystic, it is a manifestation; to the poet, a forest; to the capitalist, lumber. According to such a perspective, a mountain only appears as tall in the context of the project of climbing it, and so on, according to the instrumental relations involved in various human interests. But the great natural events of the sea surrounding us seemed to defy, with their stubborn, irreducible facticity, our uncomprehending attempts to come to terms with them. Suddenly, we were just there, shaken by the forces around us without making sense of them, wondering if we would make it through. Some, it was true, would ask God's help at such moments, but when we returned safely to shore, we behaved like men who knew little of Him, as if those moments had been a lapse into insanity, embarrassing to think of at happier times. It was one of the lessons of the sea that, in fact, such events not only existed but perhaps even preponderated in our life. Man was small and weak, the forces around him were large, and he did not control them.

Sometimes a boat would sink and men would die. I remember a fisherman from another boat who was working near us one opening, doing the same job as I did, piling web. He smiled across the water as he pulled the net from the hydraulic block overhead, stacking it neatly on the stern to ready it for the next set. Some weeks later, his boat overturned while fishing in a storm, and he got caught in the web and drowned. I saw him only once again, in a dream, beckoning to me from the stern of his boat.

The tremendousness of the scenes we lived in, the storms, the towering sheer cliffs rising vertically out of the water for hundreds of feet, the cold and rain and fatigue, the occasional injuries and deaths of workers these made little impression on most of us. Fishermen were, after all, supposed to be tough. On one boat, the family that worked it was said to lose an occasional crew member while running at sea at the end of the season, invariably the sole non-family member who worked with them, his loss saving them the wages they would have otherwise had to pay him.

The captain of another was a twenty-seven-year-old who delivered millions of dollars worth of crab each year in the Bering Sea. When I first heard of him, we were in Kodiak, his boat at the city dock they had tied up to after a lengthy run some days before. The captain was presently indisposed in his bunk in the stateroom, where he had been vomiting up blood from having eaten a glass uptown the previous night to prove how tough he was. He was in somewhat better condition when I later saw him in the Bering Sea at the end of a long winter king crab season. He worked in his wheelhouse up top, surrounded by radios that could pull in a signal from just about anywhere, computers, Loran, sonar, depth-finders, radar. His panels of lights and switches were set below the 180-degree sweep of shatterproof windows that overlooked the sea and the men on deck below, to whom he communicated by loudspeaker. They often worked round the clock, pulling their gear up from the icy water under watchful batteries of enormous electric lights attached to the masts that turned the perpetual night of the winter months into day. The captain had a reputation as a screamer, and had once locked his crew out on deck in the rain for eleven hours because one of them had gone inside to have a cup of coffee without permission. Few crewmen lasted longer than a season with him, though they made nearly twice the yearly income of, say, a lawyer or an advertising executive, and in only six months. Fortunes were made in the Bering Sea in those years, before overfishing wiped out the crab.

At present, he was at anchor, and was amiable enough when we tied up to him and he came aboard to sit and talk with our own captain. They spoke at length, at times gazing thoughtfully out at the sea through the door or windows, at times looking at each other sharply when something animated them, as the topic of what his competitors thought of him. "They wonder why I have a few bucks", he said. "Well I slept in my own home one night last year."

He later had his crew throw off the lines and pick the anchor, his eyes flickering warily over the water from the windows of the house as he pulled away with a blast of smoke from the stack. His watchfulness, his walrus-like physique, his endless voyages after game and markets, reminded me of other predatory hunter-animals of the sea. Such people, good at making money but heedless of any ultimate end or purpose, made an impression on me, and I increasingly began to wonder if men didn't need principles to guide them and tell them why they were there. Without such principles, nothing seemed to distinguish us above our prey except being more thorough, and technologically capable of preying longer, on a vaster scale, and with greater devastation than the animals we hunted.

These considerations were in my mind the second year I studied at Chicago, where I became aware through studies of philosophical moral systems that philosophy had not been successful in the past at significantly influencing peoples morals and preventing injustice, and I came to realize that there was little hope for it to do so in the future. I found that comparing human cultural systems and societies in their historical succession and multiplicity had led many intellectuals to moral relativism, since no moral value could be discovered which on its own merits was transculturally valid, a reflection leading to nihilism, the perspective that sees human civilizations as plants that grow out of the earth, springing from their various seeds and soils, thriving for a time, and then dying away.

Some heralded this as intellectual liberation, among them Emile Durkheim in his "Elementary Forms of the Religious Life", or Sigmund Freud in his "Totem and Taboo", which discussed mankind as if it were a patient and diagnosed its religious traditions as a form of a collective neurosis that we could now hope to cure, by applying to them a thoroughgoing scientific atheism, a sort of salvation through pure science. On this subject, I bought the Jeremy Shapiro translation of "Knowledge and Human Interests" by Jurgen Habermas, who argued that there was no such thing as pure science that could be depended upon to forge boldly ahead in a steady improvement of itself and the world. He called such a misunderstanding scientism, not science. Science in the real world, he said, was not free of values, still less of interests. The kinds of research that obtain funding, for example, were a function of what their society deemed meaningful, expedient, profitable, or important.

Habermas had been of a generation of German academics who, during the thirties and forties, knew what was happening in their country, but insisted they were simply engaged in intellectual production, that they were living in the realm of scholarship, and need not concern themselves with whatever the state might choose to do with their research. The horrible question mark that was attached to German intellectuals when the Nazi atrocities became public after the war made Habermas think deeply about the ideology of pure science. If anything was obvious, it was that the nineteenth-century optimism of thinkers like Freud and Durkheim was no longer tenable.

I began to re-assess the intellectual life around me. Like Schopenhauer, I felt that higher education must produce higher human beings. But at the university, I found lab people talking to each other about forging research data to secure funding for the coming year; luminaries who wouldn't permit tape recorders at their lectures for fear that competitors in the same field would go one step further with their research and beat them to publication; professors vying with each other in the length of their courses syllabuses. The moral qualities I was accustomed to associate with ordinary, unregenerate humanity seemed as frequently met with in sophisticated academics as they had been in fishermen. If one could laugh at fishermen who, after getting a boatload of fish in a big catch, would cruise back and forth in front of the others to let them see how laden down in the water they were, ostensibly looking for more fish; what could one say about the Ph.D.'s who behaved the same way about their books and articles? I felt that their knowledge had not developed their persons, that the secret of higher man did not lie in their sophistication.

I wondered if I hadn't gone down the road of philosophy as far as one could go. While it had debunked my Christianity and provided some genuine insights, it had not yet answered the big questions. Moreover, I felt that this was somehow connected I didn't know whether as cause or effect to the fact that our intellectual tradition no longer seemed to seriously comprehend itself. What were any of us, whether philosophers, fishermen, garbagemen, or kings, except bit players in a drama we did not understand, diligently playing out our roles until our replacements were sent, and we gave our last performance? But could one legitimately hope for more than this?

I read "Kojves Introduction to the Reading of Hegel", in which he explained that for Hegel, philosophy did not culminate in the system, but rather in the Wise Man, someone able to answer any possible question on the ethical implications of human actions. This made me consider our own plight in the twentieth century, which could no longer answer a single ethical question. It was thus as if this century's unparalleled mastery of concrete things had somehow ended by making us things. I contrasted this with Hegel's concept of the concrete in his "Phenomenology of Mind". An example of the abstract, in his terms, was the limitary physical reality of the book now held in your hands, while the concrete was its interconnection with the larger realities it presupposed, the modes of production that determined the kind of ink and paper in it, the aesthetic standards that dictated its color and design, the systems of marketing and distribution that had carried it to the reader, the historical circumstances that had brought about the readers literacy and taste; the cultural events that had mediated its style and usage; in short, the bigger picture in which it was articulated and had its being.

For Hegel, the movement of philosophical investigation always led from the abstract to the concrete, to the more real. He was therefore able to say that philosophy necessarily led to theology, whose object was the ultimately real, the Deity. This seemed to me to point up an irreducible lack in our century. I began to wonder if, by materializing our culture and our past, we had not somehow abstracted ourselves from our wider humanity, from our true nature in relation to a higher reality.

At this juncture, I read a number of works on Islam, among them the books of Seyyed Hossein Nasr, who believed that many of the problems of western man, especially those of the environment, were from his having left the divine wisdom of revealed religion, which taught him his true place as a creature of God in the natural world and to understand and respect it. Without it, he burned up and consumed nature with ever more effective technological styles of commercial exploitation that ruined his world from without while leaving him increasingly empty within, because he did not know why he existed or to what end he should act.

I reflected that this might be true as far as it went, but it begged the question as to the truth of revealed religion. Everything on the face of the earth, all moral and religious systems, were on the same plane, unless one could gain certainty that one of them was from a higher source, the sole guarantee of the objectivity, the whole force, of moral law. Otherwise, one man's opinion was as good as another's, and we remained in an undifferentiated sea of conflicting individual interests, in which no valid objection could be raised to the strong eating the weak.

I read other books on Islam, and came across some passages translated by W. Montgomery Watt from "That Which Delivers from Error" by the theologian and mystic Ghazali, who, after a mid-life crisis of questioning and doubt, realized that beyond the light of prophetic revelation there is no other light on the face of the earth from which illumination may be received, the very point to which my philosophical inquiries had led. Here was, in Hegel's terms, the Wise Man, in the person of a divinely inspired messenger who alone had the authority to answer questions of good and evil.

I also read A.J. Arberrys translation "The Koran Interpreted", and I recalled my early wish for a sacred book. Even in translation, the superiority of the Muslim scripture over the Bible was evident in every line, as if the reality of divine revelation, dimly heard of all my life, had now been placed before my eyes. In its exalted style, its power, its inexorable finality, its uncanny way of anticipating the arguments of the atheistic heart in advance and answering them; it was a clear exposition of God as God and man as man, the revelation of the awe-inspiring Divine Unity being the identical revelation of social and economic justice among men.

I began to learn Arabic at Chicago, and after studying the grammar for a year with a fair degree of success, decided to take a leave of absence to try to advance in the language in a year of private study in Cairo. Too, a desire for new horizons drew me, and after a third season of fishing, I went to the Middle East.

In Egypt, I found something I believe brings many to Islam, namely, the mark of pure monotheism upon its followers, which struck me as more profound than anything I had previously encountered. I met many Muslims in Egypt, good and bad, but all influenced by the teachings of their Book to a greater extent than I had ever seen elsewhere. It has been some fifteen years since then, and I cannot remember them all, or even most of them, but perhaps the ones I can recall will serve to illustrate the impressions made.

One was a man on the side of the Nile near the Miqyas Gardens, where I used to walk. I came upon him praying on a piece of cardboard, facing across the water. I started to pass in front of him, but suddenly checked myself and walked around behind, not wanting to disturb him. As I watched a moment before going my way, I beheld a man absorbed in his relation to God, oblivious to my presence, much less my opinions about him or his religion. To my mind, there was something magnificently detached about this, altogether strange for someone coming from the West, where praying in public was virtually the only thing that remained obscene.

Another was a young boy from secondary school who greeted me near Khan al-Khalili, and because I spoke some Arabic and he spoke some English and wanted to tell me about Islam, he walked with me several miles across town to Giza, explaining as much as he could. When we parted, I think he said a prayer that I might become Muslim.

Another was a Yemeni friend living in Cairo who brought me a copy of the Koran at my request to help me learn Arabic. I did not have a table beside the chair where I used to sit and read in my hotel room, and it was my custom to stack the books on the floor. When I set the Koran by the others there, he silently stooped and picked it up, out of respect for it. This impressed me because I knew he was not religious, but here was the effect of Islam upon him.

Another was a woman I met while walking beside a bicycle on an unpaved road on the opposite side of the Nile from Luxor. I was dusty, and somewhat shabbily clothed, and she was an old woman dressed in black from head to toe who walked up, and without a word or glance at me, pressed a coin into my hand so suddenly that in my surprise I dropped it. By the time I picked it up, she had hurried away. Because she thought I was poor, even if obviously non-Muslim, she gave me some money without any expectation for it except what was between her and her God. This act made me think a lot about Islam, because nothing seemed to have motivated her but that.

Many other things passed through my mind during the months I stayed in Egypt to learn Arabic. I found myself thinking that a man must have some sort of religion, and I was more impressed by the effect of Islam on the lives of Muslims, a certain nobility of purpose and largesse of soul, than I had ever been by any other religions or even atheisms effect on its followers. The Muslims seemed to have more than we did.

Christianity had its good points to be sure, but they seemed mixed with confusions, and I found myself more and more inclined to look to Islam for their fullest and most perfect expression. The first question we had memorized from our early catechism had been Why were you created? to which the correct answer was "to know, love, and serve God". When I reflected on those around me, I realized that Islam seemed to furnish the most comprehensive and understandable way to practice this on a daily basis.

As for the inglorious political fortunes of the Muslims today, I did not feel these to be a reproach against Islam, or to relegate it to an inferior position in a natural order of world ideologies, but rather saw them as a low phase in a larger cycle of history. Foreign hegemony over Muslim lands had been witnessed before in the thorough going destruction of Islamic civilization in the thirteenth century by the Mongol horde, who razed cities and built pyramids of human heads from the steppes of Central Asia to the Muslim heartlands, after which the fullness of destiny brought forth the Ottoman Empire to raise the Word of Allah and make it a vibrant political reality that endured for centuries. It was now, I reflected, merely the turn of contemporary Muslims to strive for a new historic crystallization of Islam, something one might well aspire to share in.

When a friend in Cairo one day asked me, Why don't you become a Muslim?, I found that God had created within me a desire to belong to this religion, which so enriches its followers, from the simplest hearts to the most magisterial intellects. It is not through an act of the mind or will that anyone becomes a Muslim, but rather through the mercy of God, and this, in the final analysis, was what brought me to Islam in Cairo in 1977.

Is it not time that the hearts of those who believe should be humbled to the Remembrance of God and the Truth which He has sent down, and that they should not be as those to whom the Book was given aforetime, and the term seemed over long to them, so that their hearts have become hard, and many of them are ungodly? Know that God revives the earth after it was dead. We have indeed made clear for you the signs, that haply you will understand. (Koran 57:16-17)

©Nuh Ha Mim Keller

The conversation to Islam of (Yahya) Donald W. Flood
How a roulette analogy helped this former Las Vegas resident become a Muslim.

Gathering the Initial Pieces of “the Purpose of Life Puzzle”

I once thought my upbringing offered an excellent way of life, especially since I felt satisfied both mentally and physically. As a young man, I lived the life of an average American who had a rather hedonistic lifestyle; I was found of music, a festive atmosphere dames, sports, travel, ethnic foods and foreign languages. I reached a point, however, where I felt ‘spiritually bankrupt’ and I asked myself, “now what?” and I thought, “there has to be more to life than this.” This realization was the impetus that led me to search for the truth through diverse avenues.

I assumed the reason I felt spiritually unfulfilled had to do with my lifestyle in America, which was often tied to instant gratification and impulsive behavior. As a result, I speculated that the answer might lie in finding a better locale. Thus, I began looking for that perfect place. After traveling to numerous destinations, I discovered that it wasn’t so much a perfect location I was looking for, but a particular culture with the most suitable approach to life. When I found what I considered to be the most appealing culture, I recognized that it still had flaws. Thereafter, I surmised that we should learn about the different ways people live and then select the best from these practices. This was perhaps the road to the truth.

Unable to really implement the life of a global citizen, I chose to read materials on metaphysics because the esoteric things in life always intrigued me. I quickly learned everything functions according to universal laws which can be used for one’s own benefit. After reading many books on this subject, I concluded that more important than these laws is the One Who created them, i.e., God I also discovered metaphysics can be a precarious path to follow, in which case, I refrained from any further reading in this area.

On the suggestion of a good friend, we went on a three-month camping trip all over America and Western Canada with the intention of discovering the purpose of life. We witnessed the marvels of nature and realized this world could not have been created by mistake, and that it was clearly a wonderland of signs pointing to its Creator. Hence, this trip reinforced my belief in God.

After returning home, I felt distressed at the busy life of the city, so I turned to meditation for relief. I was able to find inner peace through meditation techniques. Nevertheless, this tranquil feeling was only temporary; once I stood up, I couldn’t take that feeling with me. Likewise, being consistent with meditation became too much of a formidable task, so I slowly started losing interest.

Before long, I thought the truth might lie in self-improvement. Therefore I became a voracious reader of motivational materials and attended related seminars. In addition, I was striving to live up to the US Army’s slogan on TV commercials, ‘Be all you can be’, through endeavors in fire-walking, skydiving and martial arts. Due to my reading and challenging exploits, I gained a keen sense of self-confidence, but in fact, I still hadn’t discovered the truth.

Soon afterwards, I read numerous books on various philosophies. I found many interesting concepts and practices; yet, there wasn’t any particular philosophy that I could totally agree with. Thus, I chose to consolidate what I thought was the best wisdom from among these doctrines. It became sort of a ‘religion à la carte’ which mainly emphasized good moral behavior. I eventually concluded that good morality is good, but it is not good enough to solve ‘the purpose of life puzzle’ a more spiritual approach to life.

Shortly thereafter, I obtained a job in a Muslim country where I had enough of free time to read and reflect on life. While continuing my search for the truth, I found a recommendation in a book concerning the need for sincere repentance to God. I proceeded to do so and felt remorse for all the people I had wronged in my life, to the degree that tears started rolling down my face.

A few days later, I had a conversation with some Muslim friends. I mentioned to them that I was used to having a lot more freedom in America than that was present in their country. One person said, “ Well, it depends on what you mean by ‘freedom’. In your part of the world, no matter how well parents teach morality to their children inside the home, as soon as they go outside, they generally encounter the society in contradiction to that morality. On the other hand, in most Muslim communities, the morals taught to the children at home are very similar to what they find away from home. So who really has the freedom here?” From this analogy, I inferred that the Islamic guidelines and restrictions partially sanctioning human behavior are not meant to curtail human freedom; rather, they serve to define and dignify human freedom.

A further opportunity to learn about Islam arose when I was invited to sit with a group of Muslims over dinner. After mentioning to the group that I had been living in Las Vegas, Nevada before coming to the Middle East, a Muslim from America said, “ You must make sure you die as a good Muslim.” I immediately asked him to explain what he meant. He said “ If you die as a non-Muslim, it is like playing the game of roulette in which you put all of your chips (all of your life, including your deeds and your particular belief in God) on only one number, just hoping that perhaps by the Mercy of God, you will enter Paradise on Judgment Day. In contrast, if you die as a good Muslim, it is like spreading your chips all over the roulette board, so that every number is covered in this way, no matter what number the ball falls on, you’re safe. In other words, living and dying as a good Muslim is the best insurance you will not go to the Hell, and at the same time, it is the best investment that you’ll go to Paradise.” As a former resident of Las Vegas, I could directly relate to this poignant example with the game of roulette.

At this point, I understood I would not find the truth until I established a relationship with concentrate on those religions in which God had sent revelation to His prophets and messengers. Hence, I chose to continue my search for the truth through Christianity and Islam.

Christianity in Focus

Even though I up as a Christian, I had been confused and uninterested in Christianity. I felt like I inherited a mysterious religion beyond understanding. I believe it was for this reason that I was a Christian by name but not in practice. Furthermore, I realized my doubt about Christian beliefs caused me to be in a state of non-religiousness. Nonetheless, while I was searching for the truth, I had a chance to re-examine those beliefs I inherited from my parents yet never bothered to scrutinize.

Through booklets, cassettes and videotapes on Christianity produced by Muslims and non-Muslims, I surprisingly found out about hundreds of verses in Bible which reveal a lack of harmony in Christian beliefs. According to these materials, God was One prior to Jesus (peace be upon him; pbuh). Likewise, Jesus (pbuh) propagated the belief in One God. However, after Jesus (pbuh) Christianity emphasized the Trinity instead of the Oneness of God. Also, before Jesus (pbuh), God was without sons and equals. Similarly, Jesus (pbuh) said he was God’s messenger, whereas after his time, Christianity stressed that Jesus (pbuh) is God’s son or God Himself.

Regarding monotheism, the first of the Ten Commandments upholds Jesus’ (pbuh) assertion for the belief in One God, “…Here, O Israel, the Lord our God is one Lord.” (Mark 12:29) [1] Likewise, there is plethora of verses in the Bible that refute the divinity of Jesus (pbuh). For example, Jesus (pbuh) admitted he could not do miracles independently, but only by the Will and permission of God.[2] Interestingly, it says in the Bible that Jesus (pbuh) prayed.[3] I asked myself, “How can Jesus (pbuh) be God and pray to God at the same time?” A praying God is a contradiction. Additionally, Jesus (pbuh) states that his teachings are not his own, but those of One who sent him.[4] Logically, if what he says is not his own, he is just a prophet receiving revelation from God like those before (and after) him. Moreover, Jesus (pbuh) admits that he does what he taught by God.[5] Again, I asked myself, “How can Jesus (pbuh) be taught and be God at the same time?” In my discussions with Muslims, they concurred with what Jesus (pbuh) commanded with respect to the belief in only One God, as in the following Qur’anic verse: Say, “ He is God, [Who is] One.” (112:1)[6]

I was also surprised to find out about the verses in the Bible which refer to Jesus (pbuh) as a prophet of God.[7] Likewise, I learned about the Islamic view of Jesus (pbuh) which is that he is a prophet and messenger of God. In the Qur’an God says, “The Messiah, son of Mary, is not but a messenger; [other] messengers have passed on before him. And his mother was a supporter of truth. They both used to eat food. Look how We make clear to them the signs; then look how they are deluded.” (5:75)

Another common belief in Christianity is that Jesus (pbuh) is the son of God.

According to the Bible, it was customary to call any prophet of God, or righteous man, a son of God. Jesus (pbuh) called himself the son of man, not God or God's literal son.[8] Evidently, Paul was most responsible for elevating the status of Jesus (pbuh) to the son of God, distorting the teachings of Jesus (pbuh).[9]

What's more, Jesus (pbuh) did not appear to be the 'begotten' son of God (as it used to say in John 3:16) since this word has been cancelled from the Revised Standard Version (RSV), as well as many other new versions of the Bible. Furthermore, God emphatically says in the Qur'an that He does not have a son.[10] However, God also declared that He created Adam (pbuh) and Jesus (pbuh): "Indeed, the example of Jesus to God is like that of Adam. He created him from dust; then He said to him "Be", and he was." (3:59)

Subsequent to these modification emperors and clergy made further fabrications, contrary to what Jesus (pbuh) said or did. Of these is the concept of Trinity in which Jesus (pbuh) is one of the three manifestations of the Trinitarian God [the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost].[11] In the Bible, this verse given as the best proof for the Doctrine Trinity, even though this doctrine was never forth by Jesus (pbuh), his disciples, or a Christian scholars. In fact, it was enacted after much disagreement and conflict among Christians in the year 325 AD at the Council Nicea. Interestingly, this verse has been expunged from the Bibles of the modern age.
In addition, the Qur'an warns the Jews Christians to refrain from disbelieving in revelation of God and against believing in Trinity.[12]

A related area of controversy I read about was 'original sin' and salvation through 'the crucifixion' of Jesus (pbuh). Presumably, before Jesus (pbuh), there was no Doctrine of Original Sin. However, after Jesus (pbuh), the Doctrine of Original Sin appeared. Moreover, before Jesus (pbuh), salvation was obtained by obedience to God whereas after Jesus (pbuh), salvation was achieved through his crucifixion so they said.

In Christianity, the Doctrine of Original Sin is the justification for having salvation through the crucifixion of Jesus (pbuh). Nevertheless, I found out that this doctrine is strongly negated in the Old Testament.[13] It seems this concept may have been designed as a way for its believers to eschew their accountability of sins before God on Judgement Day.[14] It was brought to my attention that, according to Jesus (pbuh), man is saved through obedience and submission to God.[15] Correspondingly, in the Qur'an, every soul is compensated for what it earns.[16] However, it seems that changed this doctrine, making salvation through the crucifixion of Jesus (pbuh).[17]

The theory of salvation through crucifixion holds that Jesus (pbuh) offered himself will to be crucified to ransom and save humanity If so, why did Jesus (pbuh) request help God before the soldiers came to arrest him?: “…Father, save me from this hour.” (12:27) Likewise, why does the Bible say Jesus (pbuh) cried out in a loud beseeching God for help on the cross: “…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46) In addition, how could Jesus (pbuh) have been crucified for the of all humans when he was sent only to the Children of Israel?[18] This is clearly contradiction. I found the foregoing verses be very convincing that Jesus (pbuh)was crucified on the cross to redeem the sins mankind. The Qur'an says they did not crucify him, but it was someone else who was made to look like him.[19] If this is correct, then it may explain the appearance of Jesus (pbuh) to his disciples after the crucifixion. If he had really died on the cross, then he would have come to his disciples in a spiritual body. As shown in Luke 24:36-43, Jesus (pbuh) met them with his physical body after the event of his alleged crucifixion. Accordingly, I learned it was Paul who taught the resurrection of Jesus (pbuh).[20] Paul also admitted the resurrection was his own gospel.[21]

I came across many sources indicating that Paul and others were frustrated by the Jewish rejection of the message of Jesus (pbuh), so they extended their call to the Gentiles. They reached into southern Europe, where polytheism and idolatry were spreading. Gradually, the message of Jesus (pbuh) was modified to suit the tastes and traditions of the Romans and Greeks of those days.[22] The Bible warns against adding or removing information from its teachings, which is precisely happened.[23] God addresses this point in Qur'an as well, "So woe to those who write the "scripture" with their own hands, then say, "This is from God," in order to exchange it for a small price. Woe to them for what their hands have written and woe to them for what they earn. " (2:79)

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in the Scriptures

Another interesting point I learned about concerns Biblical prophecies on the advent of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). I discovered that clear prophecies exist in the Bible, (even the original text had been distorted), foretelling the coming of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) after Jesus (pbuh).[24] Muslim scholars have affirmed that the description by Jesus (pbuh) of the one to come after him (in the verses cited in below) cannot apply to any other person but Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Furthermore, there is a verse in the Holy Qur'an confirming what Jesus (pbuh) said regarding this point, "... O Children of Israel, I am the Messenger of God to you confirming what came before me of the Torah and bringing good tidings of a Messenger to come after me, whose name is Ahmad ... " (61:6) The name Ahmad is another name for Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and derived from the same root word.

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) in the Qur'an

I observed that the Qur'an directs us to believe in God and Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as in the following verse: Say, [O Muhammad], "O mankind, Indeed, I am the Messenger of God to you all, [from Him] to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. There is no deity except Him; He gives life and causes death. So believe in God and His Messenger, the illiterate prophet, who believes in God and His words, and follow him that you may be guided. " (7-158)

I came to know that the Qur'an also refers to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as the last prophet: "Muhammad is not the father of [any] of your men, but [he is] the Messenger of God and seal [i.e., last] of the prophets..." (33:40) Even though God states in the Qur'an that Muhammad (pbuh) is the last prophet, I discovered that Muslims still believe in and accept all the previous prophets, along with the revelations they received in their original form.[25]

The Qur'an: The Last Revelation

I comprehended that it was found amen due to innovations attributed to Divine revelation that the need arose for another prophet after Jesus (pbuh) with another revelation after the Gospel. This is why God sent Muhammad (pbuh) with the last Message, (i.e., the Qur'an), to bring all of mankind back to the belief in and worship of One God, without partners or intermediaries. According to Muslims, the Holy Qur'an is the permanent ultimate source of guidance for mankind offers a rational and historical elucidation of the magnificent role of Jesus. The name Jesus (pbuh) is cited twenty-five times in the Qur'an, which contains a chapter called Maryam (Mary), named after the mother of Jesus (pbuh).

Regarding the Divine authenticity of this revelation, I found the following Qur'anic verses very compelling: "And it was not [possible] for this Qur'an to be produced by other than God, but [it is] a confirmation of what was before it and a detailed explanation of the [former] Scripture, about which there is no doubt, from the Lord of the worlds." (10:37) and "And indeed, it is the truth of certainty." (69:51) Similarly, I was concerned about the adulteration of the Qur'an since this was a major problem with the previous revelations. I read that the Qur'an will never change or be abrogated: "Indeed, it is We who sent down the message [i.e., the Qur'an], and indeed, We will be its guardian. " (15:9) [26]

I was also informed about some of the scientific phenomena mentioned in the Qur'an, which give credence to the belief that the Qur'an is the literal word of God. There are verses describing human embryonic development,[27] mountains,[28] the origin of the universe,[29] the cerebrum,[30] seas,[31] deep seas, and internal waves[32] and clouds.[33] It is beyond explanation that anyone, more than fourteen hundred years ago, could have known the facts, which were found or confirmed on recently by advanced mechanisms a sophisticated scientific procedures.

Islam: The Essence and Culmination of Revealed Religions

Muslims believe that the essential purpose for which mankind was created is the worship of God. As He said in the Qur'an, "And I did not create the jinn [i.e., a type of creation, created by God from fire] and mankind except to worship Me" (51:56) Related to this, a well known Islamic scholar from the West says, "The most complete system of worship available humans today is the system found in the religion of Islam, The very name 'Islam' means 'submission to the Will of God'. Although it commonly referred to as 'the third of the three monotheistic faiths, it is not a new religion at all. It is the religion brought by all the prophets of God for humankind. Islam was the religion of Adam, Abraham, Moses and Jesus.''[34]

In addition he states, "Since there is only One God, and humankind is one species, the religion that God has ordained for humans is [essentially] one... Human spiritual and social needs are uniform and human nature has not changed since the first man and woman were created”. [35]

Uncovering the fact that the message of God has always been the same, I realized it is the duty of all human beings to seek the truth and not just blindly accept the religion that their society or parents follow, According to the Qur'an, "You worship besides Him not except [mere] names you have named, you and your fathers, for which God has sent down no authority..." (12:40) Regarding fitrah [i.e., the inherent nature of man to worship God prior to the corruption of his nature by external influences], Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, "Every child is born on Al-Fitrah, and his parents convert him to Judaism or Christianity or Magianism. As an animal delivers a perfect baby animal, do you find it mutilated?" [36] Furthermore, God says,, 'So direct your face [i.e., self] toward the religion, inclining toward truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of God upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of God. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. " (30:30)[37] Moreover, I learned there no other religion acceptable to God besides Islam, as He clearly states in the Qur'an: "And whoever desires other than Islam as a religion, never will it be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers. " (3:85). I deduced that man might neglect the guidance of God and establish his own standards of living. Ultimately, however, he will discover it is only a mirage that alluded him.

A Traveler

As I continued to read the Qur'an and learn about the sayings and doings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) [the Sunnah], I noticed Islam views man as a traveler in this life and the 'Home' is in the next life for eternity. We are here for a short period and we cannot take anything with us from this life except our belief in God and our deeds. Thus, man should be like a traveler who passes through the land and does not become attached to it. As travelers on this journey, we must understand that the meaning of being alive is to be tested. Hence, there is suffering, joy, pain and elation. These tests of good and evil are intended to evoke our higher spiritual qualities. Yet, we are incapable of benefiting from these tests unless we do our best, have complete trust in God and patiently accept what He has destined for us.

The Road to Paradise

It was very meaningful to learn about Paradise since this must certainly be the ultimate goal of every individual. Regarding this eternal home, God says, "And no soul knows what has been hidden for it of comfort for eyes [i.e., satisfaction] as a reward for what it used to do. " (32:17) 1 also became aware of a pleasure that is beyond all imagination, which is to be in the Presence of the Creator Himself. I wondered who are the souls worthy of such a reward? This reward of Paradise is too great not to have a price. I was told the price is true faith, which is proven by obedience to God and following the Sunnah(way) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

I grasped that mankind must worship God to attain righteousness and the spiritual status necessary to enter Paradise.[38] This means human beings have to comprehend that worship is as indispensable as eating and breathing and not a favor they are doing for God. Likewise, I found out that we need to read the Qur’an to find out what kind of people God wants us to be and then try to become as such. This is the road to Paradise.

Overcoming an Obstacle

At this point, I felt about 80% sure I wanted to become a Muslim, but something was holding me back. I was concerned about the reaction of my family and friends if they knew that I had become a Muslim. Shortly thereafter, I expressed this concern to a Muslim who told me that on Judgement Day, no one will be able to help you, not your father, mother or any of your friends.[39] Therefore, if you believe Islam is the true religion, you should embrace it and live your life to please the One who created you. Thus, it became very lucid to me that we are all in the same boat; every soul shall taste death and then we'll be liable for our particular belief in God and for our deeds.[40]

A Meaningful Videotape

By this stage in my search for the truth, I was on the verge of embracing Islam. I watched an Islamic lecture on videotape about the purpose of life. The main theme of this lecture was that the purpose of life may be summed up in one word, i.e., Islam (peaceful submission to the Will of God).

An additional point was that, unlike other religions or beliefs, the term 'Islam' is not associated with any particular person or place. God has named the religion in the following Qur'anic verse: "Indeed, the Religion in the sight of God is Islam..." (3:19) Anyone who embraces Islam is called a Muslim regardless of that person's race, sex or nationality. This is one of the reasons why Islam is a universal religion.

Prior to my search for the truth, I had never seriously considered Islam as an option because of the constant negative portrayal of Muslims in the media. Similarly, it was disclosed in this videotape that although Islam, is characterized by high moral standards, not all Muslims uphold these standards. I learned the same can be said about adherents of other religions. I finally understood that we cannot judge a religion by the actions of its followers alone, as I had done, because all humans are fallible. On that account, we should not judge Islam by the actions of its proponents, but by its revelation (the Holy Qur'an) and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

The last point I picked up from this lecture concerned the importance of gratitude. God mentions in the Qur'an that we should be grateful for the fact that He created us: "And God has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing, and He made for you hearing and vision and hearts [i.e., intellect that perhaps you would be grateful. " (16:78) God has also cited gratitude along with belief, and has made it clear that He gains nothing from punishing His people when they give thanks to Him and believe in Him. He says in the Qur'an, "What would God do with [i.e., gain from] your punishment if you are grateful and believe? ..." (4:147)

The truth Unveils Itself

As soon as the videotape had finished, I experienced the truth being unveiled to my spirit. I felt a huge burden of sins flying off my back. Moreover, it felt like my soul was rising above the earth, refusing the makeshift delights of this world in favor of the eternal joys of the Hereafter. This experience, coupled with the long process of reasoning, solved the 'purpose of life puzzle'. It revealed Islam as the truth, thereby replenishing my 'spiritual landscape' with belief, purpose, direction and action. I therefore entered the gate of Islam by saying the declaration of faith required to become a Muslim: Ashhadu an La ilaha illa Allah wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan Rasoolu llah. (I bear witness that there is no deity but God and Muhammad is His Messenger). I was informed that this formal testimony confirms one's belief in all the prophets and messengers of God, along with all of His Divine revelations in their original form, thereby updating and completing one's religion to the last of the prophets [Muhammad (pbuh)] and to the final revelation of God [the Qur'an]. The following point became overwhelmingly clear to me: Had Jesus (pbuh) been the last prophet of God an had the Gospel been the final book revelation, I would have attested to that. As a result, I have naturally chosen to follow the final revelation from the Creator as exemplified by the seal of the prophets.

Impressions of a New Muslim

During my search to find the truth, the lesson, which, transcended all lessons, was that all objects of worship other than God are mere delusions. To anyone who sees this clearly, the only possible course is to bring one's own will and actions into complete unison with that of God. Acquiescing to the Will of God has enabled me to feel peace with the Creator, with others and finally, with myself. Consequently, I feel very grateful, that by the Mercy of God, I have been rescued from the depths of ignorance and have stepped into the light of truth. Islam, the true religion of all times, places and peoples, is a complete code of life Which guides man to fulfill the purpose of his existence on earth, and prepares him for the Day when he will return to his Creator Following this path in a devout manner enables one to gain the pleasure of God and be closer to Him amid the endless delights of Paradise while escaping from the punishment of Hellfire Another bonus is that our present life will be much happier when we make such a choice.

A Deceptive Enjoyment

Embracing Islam has given me more of an insight into the illusive nature of this life. For instance, one basic object of Islam is the liberation of man. This is why a Muslim calls himself 'Abdullah', the slave or servant of Allah (i.e., God) because enslavement to God signifies liberation from all other forms of servitude, and although modern man may think that he is liberated, he is in fact a slave to his desires. He is generally deceived by this worldly life. He is 'addicted' to hoarding wealth, sex, violence, intoxicants, etc. But above all, he is often seduced by the capitalist system that tends to work through the invention of false needs, which he feels must be satisfied instantly, As God says in the Qur'an, "Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? Or do you think that most of them hear or reason? They are not except as livestock. Rather, they are [even] more astray in [their] way. )” (25: 43-44)

Correspondingly, we should not let our zeal to enjoy the pleasures of this fleeting life jeopardize our opportunity to enjoy the ecstasy of Paradise. As God says in the Qur'an, "Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of, worldly life, but God has with Him the best return [ie. Paradise]. Say, "Shall /inform you of something better than that? For those who fear God will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from God..." (3:14-15) Therefore, the real competition in this life is not the accumulation of wealth or the desire for fame; it is facing with one another to perform good deeds to please God, while having our lawful portion of enjoyment in this life.[41]

The Right Path to God

There are many religious alternatives available to man and it is up to him to choose the one he wishes to follow. He is like a merchant with many goods in front of him, and it is his choice which one to trade in. He will obviously select the one he thinks will be the most lucrative. However, the merchant is unsure and has no guarantee of prosperity; his product may have a market and he may make handsome returns, but he could just as easily lose all of his money. In contrast, the believer in the Oneness of God who submits to His Will (a Muslim), is completely sure that if he follows the path of guidance [the Qur'an and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)], there will undoubtedly be success and reward waiting for him at the end of this path. Fortunately, this success also starts at the beginning of the path. Narrated by Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri(may God be pleased with him)- God's Messenger(pbuh) said, "If a person embraces Islam sincerely, then God. shall forgive all his past sins, and after that starts the settlement of accounts: the reward of his good deeds will be ten times to seven hundred times for each good deed, and an evil deed will be recorded as it is unless God forgives it .[42]

Epilogue

Based on my search for the truth, I concluded that the precise way we believe in God and the deeds we perform determine our future condition for eternity. Our Creator is giving us all an equal chance, regardless of our circumstances, to earn His pleasure in preparation for Judgement Day, as in the following Qur'anic verses: "And obey God and His messenger that you may obtain mercy. And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden [i.e., Paradise] as wide as the Heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. " (3:132-133) [43]

If we sincerely seek the truth of this life, which is Islam (peaceful submission to the Will of God), God will guide us there, God Willing. He directs us to examine the life and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), as he represents the best role model for mankind to follow Furthermore, God directs us to investigate and ponder what He says in the Qur'an. One will see that the Qur'an is indeed like a persistent and strong knocking on a door, or loud shouts seeking to awaken those who are fast asleep because they are just completely absorbed by this life on earth. The knocks and shouts appear one after the other: Wake up! Look around you! Think! Reflect! God is there! There is planning, trial, accountability, reckoning, reward, severe punishment and lasting bliss!

Clearly and unequivocally, the best way to live and die in this world is as a righteous Muslim! When one comes to the conclusion that Islam is the truth, he should not delay in becoming a Muslim because he may die first, and then it will be too late.[44]

A few months after embracing Islam, I found two verses in the Qur'an that mirror what the American Muslim told me regarding how we should live and die: "And Abraham instructed his sons and [so did] Jacob, [saying], “O my sons! Indeed God has chosen for you this religion, so do not die except while you are Muslims." (2:132) and “O you who have believed, fear God as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him]." (3:102)

(Yahya) Donald W. Flood
Madinah, Saudi Arabia
June 1999

===========================================================

All Biblical references were cited from:

Life Application Bible, New International Version, Tyndale House Publishers, In Wheaton ILL., USA, 1991.

All Qur'anic references were cited from:

The Qur'an-Arabic Text with correspond English Meanings, English revised and edited by Saheeh International, Abul-Qasim Publish House, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, 1997.

[1] Also see Num. 23:19; Deut. 6:4,13; Matt. 4:10, 22:36-38,23:9-10; Mark 10:18; Luke 4:8.

[2] See Matt. 12:28; Luke 11:20; John 3:2, 5:30; Acts 2:22.

[3] See Matt. 26:39; Mark 1:35, 14:32; Luke 5:16, 6:12.

[4] See John 7:16, 12:49, 14:24, 31.

[5] See John 8:28.

[6] Also see 4:48; 5:116; 39:67.

[7] See Matt. 13:57, 21:11, 45-46; Mark 6:4; Luke 4: 43, 13:33, 24:19; Hebrews 3:1.

[8] See Matt. 13:37; Luke 12:10; 1 Tim. 2:5.

[9] See Acts 9:20.

[10] See 19:88-92.

[11] See 1 John 5:7.

[12] See 3:19; 4:171; 5:73.

[13] See Ezekial 18:20; Jeremiah 31:30.

[14] See Ephesians 1:7; Romans 3:22-26, 4:25, 10:9.

[15] See Matt. 5:19-20, 6:4, 7:21, 19:17.

[16] See 3:25; 41:46; 74:38.

[17] See Romans 3:28; 1 John 2:1-2.

[18] See Matt. 10:5-6, 15:24.

[19] See 4:157-158.

[20] See Romans 5:10-11; Acts 17:17,18.

[21] See 2 Timothy 2:8.

[22] See 1 Cor. 9:19:-23.

[23] See Rev. 22:18-19.

[24] See Deut. 18:18-19; Isaiah 29:12; John 14:12-17, 16:5-16; Acts 3:22.

[25] See 2:136.

[26] Also see 4:82.

[27] See 23:12-14.

[28] See 16:15; 78:6-7.

[29] See 21:30; 41:11.

[30] See 96:15-16.

[31] See 25:53; 55:19-20.

[32] See 24:40.

[33] See 24:43.

[34] The Purpose of Creation, Dr. A. A. B. philips, p. 49, Dar Al Fatah, Sharjah, UAE, 1995. See Qur’an 3:67; 3:84.

[35] Ibid . p. 50.

[36] Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 2, Hadith No. 467.

[37] Also see 2:170; 10:19; 31:21; 43:23; 49:6; 53:23.

[38] See Qur’an 2:111-112; 10:63-64.

[39] See Qur’an 31:33; 82:18-19.

[40] See Qur’an 29:57; 3:185.

[41] See Qur’an 28:77.

[42] Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 1, Hadith No. 40A.

[43] Also see 20:82.

[44] See Qur’an 23:99-100; 63:10-11.

Source: http://www.islamfortoday.com/converts.htm#COTW
 
Embracing Islam

The Truth attracts them Women convert to Islam

Women convert to Islam !

By Dr. Abd El Mo’ety El Dalaty

Translated By Marwa Hasan

Reviewed By Magdy And Al-Shafy

This are some stories of women who led such an aimless life and sheltered nearly in the dark seeking the guiding light of the sun, the earthly life was all what they cared about and could ever think of .They ventured to have a step ahead and walk out of where they used to be…they converted to Islam.. the stories of such women are very much a like as they all had experienced the meaning of faith and belief.

It was not an easy way for them , but rather long ,tiring and full of doubts and some times skepticism. They had to get through many of their own battles to reach the end of the road. However, at the end they were the victorious, they defeated both their evil souls and prior concepts and got into the gate of Islam where no place is found for ignorance , confusion or perplexity . It is where time is counted by the believing heart beats rather than hours. They were the chosen ones to experience such a moment of truth which inspired their bodies with power and their soul with an overwhelming peaceful emotions and their mind with reason. They eventually realized that the earthly life is predominated by God , the One , and they testified that there is no God , but Allah ,the One and that Muhammad (PBUP) is his prophet. We introduce their stories to those who yearn to taste the sweetness of believing in God, hoping that He, the Almighty, blesses their souls wherever they are and bestows His mercy upon them.

Saboura Ureapa

Mariah Alastra is an intellectual who was born in 1949 at Andalusia. She obtained a university degree in Philosophy and Psychology at Madrid University. She converted to Islam in 1978. she worked as the manager for the authentication and publishing center in the Islamic Council. She published an article titled “ a Muslim in the global village!!” in 1998 and she was killed by an anti-Islam Spanish man few minutes later and thus gained the name of a martyr. The following are snatches of what she wrote in the article:

“ I believe in God , the one , and further I believe that Muhammad (PBUH) is His prophet and His messenger, and I believe in all his teachings, which call for peace and welfare…….In Islam , man is born free and pure , not sinful or bearing any inherited stigma. He is born to perform his role in life and just to follow his fate and destiny. “

“ It is true that some of us belong to the Arab nation, however Arabic is related to all of us by one means or another and it occupies some special place inside each one of us, as the Holy Quran was written in Arabic and it was the tool which the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) utilized to impart his message.”

“Upbringing is considered one of the most important protecting factors against the flow of faked media, since our press is infected by some news which is to be regarded untrue. This is because some of the dominant powers believe that it is an easy task to control over panic citizens and further make them believe in whatever is dictated. “

May God bestow mercy upon her soul and considers her as one of the good devoted worshipers…

Mariam Gameela

Margaret Marquis is an American writer with Jewish origins. She authored many books, some of which are: Islam Facing the West , My Journey from Infidelity to Belief , Islam and Renovations , Islam through theory and application . the following are some of her ideas:

“ Islam has put an end to all my questions and skepticism about death and life. I think that Islam is the only way that we may track to find out the truth and it is the healing power to our soul. “

“ when I first read the Holy Quran , I realized that faith is not just important for life , yet it is the life itself. In every time I read more and more about Islam I realize how Islam helped the Arab nation to be one of the greatest nations ever. This nation ,which managed at one time to predominate the entire world.”

“ we can not comprehend the Holy Quran without considering the prophet’s teachings , in other words the Sunna. I think those who do not believe in Sunna, do not believe in Quran as well..”

“ Muslim women shall realize how lucky they are as Islam’s dictations come to keep their sanctities and dignity as well. Islam provides them protection against all kinds of violation whether to their private life or to their chastity. In Islam, all the rights have been given to ensure of permanence the family.”

Salma Bouafair ( Soufi Bouafair )- M.D in teaching French and mathematics

The story of this woman is an extraordinary example of the long tiring intellectual journey through which those who converted to Islam always undergo . She embodies the real challenging will and introduces a good courageous intellectual mind which is to be considered the finest kind of courage at all. She proudly narrated her story as follows:

“ I was born in 1971 in Montreal, Canada. I was grown up within a religious Catholic family , so I used to go to church until I was 14 years old when I started to have my personal questions about our Creator and the different religions. From my point of view, I recognized my questions as easy and logical but they were rather difficult and confusing for those whom I used to ask. I remember some of those questions. I wondered that if God can send us good and evil , if it is He who can give and forbid ….. so why can not we just ask Him for whatever we want by ourselves ??? why there have to be a mediator between God and us !!…. Why do we have to ask the priest ?? won’t God hear us when we talk directly to Him ?? and so many other questions but again with no convincing answers. Thus I stopped attending the church and I no longer could ever hear the pointless ,unconvincing stories of the priests.

I have always believed in God and in His power and in His greatness, so I have studied different religions seeking for any convincing answers for my endless questions but again I could not find what I was looking for… I was so confused and distracted until I started my university. There I came to know a Muslim young man , who introduced Islam to me. I was so overwhelmed as it was an easy way to track the answers for my doubts and questions. It took me a whole year just to study such a religion, and the result was that I was obsessed by Islam to the bones. I was further overwhelmed when I saw how the Moslems -in their prayers- adoringly prostrate themselves to God, it is some thing I could not find in any other religion. I was obsessed by such touching movements which the worshipper performs... they convey nothing but peace of mind , politeness and a perfect act of worship, it seems as if he really feels that he is at the hands of God.

I started attending the mosque where I could find many other Canadian Muslim sisters, who encouraged me to follow my track to Islam. I wore the veil in an attempt to test my will, and two weeks later came the true moment when I testified that there are no other gods but Allah, the One, and that Muhammad (PBUH) is His prophet and messenger.

Islam ,which has put me on the way of the young Muslim, has also bound us with the sacred bond of marriage. It was God's wish to make him my companion in life and in my journey to the spiritual world of Islam.”

Evelyn Copfield

She is a British writer and poet. She wrote some related books to Islam; some of which are “In quest of God” and “Morals”. She stated that:

“ it is very hard for me to determine when I was impressed by Islam and made up my mine to embrace Islam , my true religion. I even think that I was born Muslim. When I first entered the mosque of prophet Muhammad(PBUH) , I felt an overwhelming shiver running through my body, I took off my shoes and I headed for an isolated place where I established my Dawn prayer. I sank in such a spiritual world and I wondered how Merciful God is and how great is that man who He send to guide the entire nation to the light of faith !!! I even thought how God bestowed all kinds of good and welfare to humanity!”

“I hurried to meet the prophet wearing my best scent

But it was no other than the scent of Medina!!

I could barely see

that there was no one but me

So, I set my soul free

And adoringly I prostrated

suddenly ,

I found my soul flying so high

It even transcended the sky

And left away with my heavy earthly body

This is my beloved Medina

This is where I feel secure, glory, serenity and purity”



“I believe that we are not sinful by instinct and we need neither to obtain salvation nor mediator between us and God ,who can behold us whenever and wherever we are.”

I would like to invoke the words of the poet Ackasnta Travnicova, who mastered Arabic to the extent of poetic creativity, to end that blessing journey:

Deprive me of my house and grazing ground,

Take my words and writing ink ,

But give me some thing I can hold on to

Some thing to shelter with in the judgment day

Brother, leave away the pointless arguments

And just join me to say the truth …

Let’s make it loud and resound in the dark

World , we are not here to tyrannize ,

But rather to impart welfare ,prayers and invocating God

Only then , it would be the day of heaven

ََQuotations form “I won Muhammad and retained Jesus”

1- the article of “a Muslim in the worldly village!!” from El Faysel Magazine – edition no 219 for the year 2000 – translated by Salah Yahiawy

2- “ approaches to Science and methodology” by the Intellectual Anwar Magdy (volume 6 – page 199)

3- “ The Islam” by Dr. Ahmed Shalaby – page 297

4- “new approaches to Islamic summon In the West” by the Intellectual Anwar Magdy – page 360

5- “ I love you God” form the collection of poems by Dr. Abd EWl Mo’ety El Dalaty

Source: http://www.55a.net/firas/english/?page=show_det&id=115
 

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