hey man nice work.. I also saw your adhan video.... it seems like you having some issue with keeping it fluid as sis bluebell mentioned... it sounds choppy - try to breath in and out and instead of chopping the words in to smaller segments try to make it flow all together in a breath
I would recommend listening to Mishary Al Afasy and try to read with him or any other shiekh. I would send you the link but I can't since I'm still new , but put this in your youtube search bar,[h=1]Surah Al Fatihah - Mishari Rashid Efasy - Quran : Chapter1 .[/h]