Studentofdeed
Slave of Allah
- Messages
- 836
- Reaction score
- 41
- Gender
- Male
- Religion
- Islam
how can one be sure Allah loves him? I feel far away and hated by him. I'm neglected and not acknowledged by him. I understand Allah doesn't need us but I made many sacrifices for him but he doesn't acknowledge me.
I tried to do a good deed yesterday in secret however it got exposed. Now I'm not sure if I'm going to get much reward. I had a choice to help two people. My friend who would appreciate me and a person whose family are racist and look down upon me and will never appreciate a single thing I do for them. I helped the family that disliked me because they needed it more. I went against my nafs and purely for the sake of Allah. I'm not saying I regret it, but I cannot deny I hate being looked down on. I wish to be acknowledged or loved by people. I understand that's not a reality. But I did that good deed purely for Allah. Yet Allah won't answer my dues or listen to me. I'm begging him to get me married to a good woman and to love me. But I'm more humiliated and the laughing stock of the mosque. They all make jokes at me. One person pranked me by saying he had a marriage purposal for me. He kept it going for like 3 days and then told me.he wanted to see my reaction. I forgave him but I was hurt and disgusted. He apologized also but even so I was disturbed how one can make a joke out of someone's misfortune. I hate the mosque because its filled with corruption. Everyone there claims to the best of the best Muslim but they are all rude. There are no good Muslims and finding a women seems more like an impossibility reality. I'm humiliated but despite that I'm still trying to do good to these people and not harm them or make fun against them. Why does Allah let me humiliated? Surely if he loved me he would protect my honor? How can I even be sure he even acknowledges me and likes me?
I tried to do a good deed yesterday in secret however it got exposed. Now I'm not sure if I'm going to get much reward. I had a choice to help two people. My friend who would appreciate me and a person whose family are racist and look down upon me and will never appreciate a single thing I do for them. I helped the family that disliked me because they needed it more. I went against my nafs and purely for the sake of Allah. I'm not saying I regret it, but I cannot deny I hate being looked down on. I wish to be acknowledged or loved by people. I understand that's not a reality. But I did that good deed purely for Allah. Yet Allah won't answer my dues or listen to me. I'm begging him to get me married to a good woman and to love me. But I'm more humiliated and the laughing stock of the mosque. They all make jokes at me. One person pranked me by saying he had a marriage purposal for me. He kept it going for like 3 days and then told me.he wanted to see my reaction. I forgave him but I was hurt and disgusted. He apologized also but even so I was disturbed how one can make a joke out of someone's misfortune. I hate the mosque because its filled with corruption. Everyone there claims to the best of the best Muslim but they are all rude. There are no good Muslims and finding a women seems more like an impossibility reality. I'm humiliated but despite that I'm still trying to do good to these people and not harm them or make fun against them. Why does Allah let me humiliated? Surely if he loved me he would protect my honor? How can I even be sure he even acknowledges me and likes me?