Thank yo so much! I have weird waswas and utterances that are kufr. There are so many things which are kufr! Curing Arabs, etc...
I did not understand the shower part. I read that it is obligatory for Muslims to shower after renewing a shahadah or becoming new Muslim. Therefore, every time I apostate, do I need to shower after my shahadah?
Being afflicted by waswas from khannaas is not not apostasy as long as one's heart remains firm in Islaam and the yearning to obey Allah.
It has been reported that the Messenger of Allah (صلي الله عليه وسلم) said:
“The Pen is lifted from three (i.e., their deeds are not recorded):
a child until he reaches puberty;
an insane man until he comes to his senses;
one who is asleep until he wakes up.”
[Recorded in Abu Dawud #4403, and Ibn Majah #2041]
If you are a true Muslim who has certainty that you will be ressurected and judged by Allah with detailed sifting of intentions, circumstances, and deeds, and you seek refuge in Allah regularly and seek to rectify your mistakes by doing good deeds sincerely for Allah's sake, you have good reason to rest assured that as long as you continuously repent to Allah and ask for His forgiveness for any faults for which you might even be guilty - Allah will be graceful.
If it is true that you are receiving abnormal evil whisperings from al khannaas, then al khannaas will take their just judgement, and you yours.
The obligatory bath is required for returning to a state of purity from impurity.
Regarding "cursing arabs" , it is unlawful to curse anybody unjustly, but lawful to curse unjust tyrants regardless of race if there is an urgent need to lawfully curse.
But it is necessary to be careful when cursing - since if the person making the curse is guilty of crimes on the same magnitude for which he/she have not yet sincerely repented of to Allah, the curse may also afflict the person who curses when the angels reflect it, just as they do with good prayers for other people.
Pharaoh who spent his life trying to make people live and die in denial of Allah (who is the source and pinnacle of truth and justice) was prevented from living in truth and justice, died in denial of Allah just as Musa :saws: had prayed after reaching the limit of his forbearance.