As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu
It is unIslamic for a Muslim woman to set a huge demand for herself, with the intention of deterring suitors of humble means. Islam does not require husbands and wives to come from the same social strata or income brackets – although this may often seem to be advisable. Islamic compatibility is based on religious faith and mutual respect, not on money, caste (another Hindu custom), class, background, nationality, etc.
It is just as unIslamic to demand a huge mahr, generally beyond the husband’s means, based on the intention of checking the husband from ill-treating his wife, or wrongfully or causelessly divorcing the wife, or preventing him from remarrying another later – the reasoning being that in cases of divorce the woman can demand the full payment of the mahr. The fixing of a substantial mahr for the above purposes rests on the supposition that the mahr has to be fixed at the time of marriage, but not handed over until divorce – which gives it a supposed ‘deterrent’ value. This is unlawful in Islam, for in this case the wife has no use or ownership of the mahr during the time of the marriage.
If the prospective husband is not a wealthy man, a generous wife may choose to accept very small mahr, but this has to be her own free choice. She should not be coerced or have pressure put on her in any way. Some of the Prophet’s female companions accepted their husbands’ conversions to Islam, or memorising of ayat of the Qur’an, or giving education to others as their mahr.
