How NOT to be TOO emotional

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Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Wa Alaykum Salam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Majority of posts tend to include emoticons because it aids the reader to distinguish the tone in which the post is written in. You find that only posts that include lay back topics include these emoticons. Debates and discussions rarely ever have posts where emoticons are used frequently for the reason that the text is written in a formal manner.

Now to say that using emoticon is expressing emotional attachment or perhaps emotional involvement in the issue is inaccurate.

For example if I use the smiling emoticon, I do not use it because I’m smiling at the person but rather it is a neutral and genuine gratitude or whatever, depending on the context.

We are to speak to fellow Muslims with kind words and in a manner that Allah (swt) has made lawful. One should try and refrain from saying things that can be perceived to being harsh or cold. Of course it is not always easy to spot our own errors and filter what could be seen as being offensive by other members but we should try to show some compassion. Sarcasm isn’t spotted in forums and thus making it difficult to express without being aided by the help of these emoticons.

To a certain extent it is important to have them, after all not all the topics here are about in-depth discussions, constant obtaining and expressing intellectual discussions.

Love for your brother what you love for yourself.


Wa Allahu'3llim
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Silver Pearl said:
Wa Alaykum Salam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Majority of posts tend to include emoticons because it aids the reader to distinguish the tone in which the post is written in. You find that only posts that include lay back topics include these emoticons. Debates and discussions rarely ever have posts where emoticons are used frequently for the reason that the text is written in a formal manner.

Now to say that using emoticon is expressing emotional attachment or perhaps emotional involvement in the issue is inaccurate.

For example if I use the smiling emoticon, I do not use it because I’m smiling at the person but rather it is a neutral and genuine gratitude or whatever, depending on the context.

We are to speak to fellow Muslims with kind words and in a manner that Allah (swt) has made lawful. One should try and refrain from saying things that can be perceived to being harsh or cold. Of course it is not always easy to spot our own errors and filter what could be seen as being offensive by other members but we should try to show some compassion.

Love for your brother what you love for yourself.

Wa Allahu'3llim
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Thank you for your contribution.

The word that it's used, "perceived" is a responsibility of the reader. While it's really hard to be neutral, it can be done. All we need is patience and going back to the roots of forum etiquettes.

For example:

(1) Keep your labeling dogma to yourself.
(2) Keep your labeling dogma to yourself!!!
(3) KEEP YOUR LABELLING DOGMA TO YOURSELF!!!
(4) KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC LABELING DOGMA TO YOUR MORONIC SELF!!!!!!!

Sentence (1) Is just a sincere advice to keep your labelling dogma to yourself. True, there are many other ways that the meaning of this sentence may be conveyed, that's not the case here. We are responding to a sentence that has been written. We just need to learn how to differentiate between personal attacks and valid critique of the views.The reader has all the power to decide where this sentence is personal or is referring to a quality that is acquired.

What other ways may (1) be written?

(a) Sister, can you please keep your labeling dogma to yourself?
(b) Please keep your labeling dogma to yourself, sister.
(c) Please honey,keep your labeling dogma to your sweetself.
(d) Please honey sweetie pie, don't label anyone okay, I'll get you some candy!

All these choices are the choice of the writer. If the writer doesn't write it that way, too bad. We don't get everything that we want.

(2) and the rests are just inflammatory and unwarranted. (4) is basically out of line
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Muezzin said:
You are so getting reps for that when the system lets me.

And let that be a lesson to all of you. Be nice and get reps. You scratch my back, I scratch yours with reputation points or something.
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:w: How did you know about my ulterior motive? :p
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

:salamext:


Lets just keep this hadith in mind:

"Those who have no mercy on other human beings, will not receive the mercy of Allah." (Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)


:wasalamex
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Fi_Sabilillah said:
:salamext:


Lets just keep this hadith in mind:

"Those who have no mercy on other human beings, will not receive the mercy of Allah." (Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)


:wasalamex
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:sl:

Wonderful Hadith. One we should all keep in mind when replying to posters. It really doesnt cost much.
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Assalamu Alaikum

(d) Please honey sweetie pie, don't label anyone okay, I'll get you some candy!
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WHAT A SENTENCE!!!!!!!! <<howd u interpret that? HOW'D U INTERPRET THAT??!!!

lol, sorry that was fun..

on a serious note, Jazak Allah khair.

I have been thinking about lessening the smileys in my posts (Inshallah) after i saw that on another forum they werent used. No matter what, we need to all speak straight forward to any human being. Using smileys or not is not the case, but rather what each sentence says.

If it is interpreted wrong, it is not in the author's blame, but rather the readers. If a reader take something too personally or judges another member soley upon those words, then most likely he is reflecting upon his own image subhanallah.

I think smileys are used for a variety of different reasons:

1) poster is too lazy to use punctuation
e.g. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek: omg!

2) people want to show their light heartedness towards another member as fear of offending them, or to add more depth into their words such as sarcasm

3) when they arent used, usually the members are in their "wisdom" state, they are speaking from their knowledge point of view and are in deep thought and might not be taking the subject as an "emotional" topic

4) people are just weird lol..so Allahu A'lem

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Next tip [trust me, after being called a bully, idiotic, moronic, paranoid, foolish, westernized], I think I'd have the credentials. :D

Posts are opinions. Well, most of them are. In this forum, we acknowledge that our arguments must be based on facts. There are no other facts more solid that the Quran and Sunnah, and ijma' or qiyaas of the scholars.

But, Islam is universal. Allah has used many adjectives to describe how human being should be. tazakkaroon, tadabbaroon, ta'qiloon are all verbs that tell us that we ought to see and ponder. [excuse the transliteration, my keyboard doesn't have arabic letters].

So, when you see a post that is devoid of Quran and Sunnah [trust me, cutting and paste, don't do justice], please don't jump on the brother and sister and ask for it.

If you're really concerned about the proof, rather than asking them for it, try searching it for yourself and then, say:

"I've been very exhaustive in my search, but I cannot find anything to convince me of your post. Can you give me your proof?" rather than,

"Is it haraam? Is it halaal?" "Brother, where's your proof?"

I've clearly stated my views on the 5 rules on responsibility for a muslim. You may open any book on Usoolul Fiqh [if you don't want to be dictated by a flimsy scholar, like me :p] and you will find these facts.

Peace
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

:sl:

WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????!!!!!!! :mad:

KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC LABELING DOGMA TO YOUR MORONIC SELF!!!!!!! :mad:

^emotional diarrhea lol :p

anyways bro Takumi nice thread started

and ill give tips to reduce your emotion online

1.if u ever hate someone, punch a brick wall till u bleed or forget about that person, then forgive him/her or it :p

2.if u ever feel too sad about someone insulting u then do what i do and play games such as
"one on one kung fu death match"
"last one to reach the end line gets no cookies"
etc.

well kids thats all the lessons for today

:brother:
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Hey!!! shadow!! I'd PM you this message but that's exactly what I'm talkin' bout bro!!

If half of the members here are as funny as you are sans the overflowing of emoticons, I'll be like, wow....on cloud 9 maybe? :p

Nice tip, but do you have proof for that from the Quran and sunnah? :heated:
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

:sl:

It is emparative that posters provide evidence from the Quran and sunnah if they are providing an answer. The onus is on them and not on others. No one should take other's words for granted if they dont provide references.
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

:sl:


Please use other knowledgeable means such as a scholar, Imam or knowledgeable person in your area or provide sources.


I agree with you sister because what if someone doesn't provide the sources then how can we know if the answer provided is truly correct? It is vital to provide sources or just don't answer the question at all if you don't know it.



:w:
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Very true, sisters. Except both Takumi and Shadow were joking ;)

Another useless smiley: :hiding:

If that smiley is an accurate representation of 'hiding', Bin Laden must be in a coma by now.

But seriously... I really like this thread, and I hope everyone takes heed of what Takumi's trying to say.
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

What is the proof from Quran and sunnah that it's even halaal to get involved in this forum? :p
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Takumi said:
What is the proof from Quran and sunnah that it's even halaal to get involved in this forum? :p
Click to expand...


There is no verse in the Quran that literally says that "its okay to be involved in the forums its not haraam"! per say.... It's just that we have to conduct ourselves in a conservative manner especailly when we talk to the opposite sex. A sister or a brother using a smiley is like her using her expression or her smiling to the person she is talking to. This will make you think will she do that in real life? Then again, we are not allowed to free mix and that's anywhere based on Islamic standards.
 
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Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Next tip:

How to intelligently respond without sounding intelligent.

Here's an example.

"What I do in my own time is my business not YOURS. YOU are the one who read that post, so YOU can babysit your psyche and spank it and give it time out".

How do we intelligently respond to this post?

The all caps YOU shows that there is a specific reader that the member is trying to address. If you are the member [most probably the responder was attacked personally by an unscrupulous member], calm down and read, and re read.

There's nothing wrong to specify whom the post is addressed to. Unless you use your emotions to read that post, you'll be fine. Most frequently, many members have this "imaginary" member in their head talking to them. Subsconcsiously, they imagine this member talking to them in a "in-your-face" style and they just can't handle it, even though there's no one there!

This is taking imaginary friend syndrome to another level.

You can either:

(1) Agree to his points. Because, he's right, his time is his business. and you are the one who chose to read his post so you got to be ready to swallow everything that he said. If you're not, then forum is just not for you. I, personally, dislike babysitting other people's emotional fart.

(2) Disagree to his points and refute HIS POINTS not him. Yes, it's his time is his business, but you're just advising him to be more courteous and have some finesse in his posts. Calling him a bully, westernized, paranoid, idiotic and moronic will only show that your emotions is uncontrollable and you're probably shaking with anger. You lost.

(3) That's why I like forums. We have the liberty to write and delete. Here's how.

Write everything that you want. Even use the words that are nonsensical, rude, cuss, anything. DON'T CLICK SUBMIT YET!. Then leave it. Go and make wudhu' and then come back.

Read your own post. ALOUD. Then ask yourself.

Is this really me?

Do I really want to call him a bully, flimsy scholar, stupid, idiot, moron and foolish?

Do I have anything against him or HIS POST?

Those are the questions that your parents can't answer for you.

My motto is simple. CLICK SUBMIT AT YOUR OWN RISK
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Halima said:
There is no verse in the Quran that literally says that "its okay to be involved in the forums its not haraam"! per say.... It's just that we have to conduct ourselves in a conservative manner especailly when we talk to the opposite sex. Then again, we are not allowed to free mix and that's anywhere based on Islamic standards.
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Exactly! Thank you.

That is why I say, you can't ask for proofs from the Quran all the time. Does that mean that the Quran is incomplete? God forbid!

Jurists DERIVED many fatwa from Al Quran due to its clarity (muhkamaat) and AMBIGUITY (mutashaabihaat). Since I don't have a cut and paste program, maybe you guys can help me out. It's one of the first verses of Soorah Ali Imraan.

Honestly, if I post, "Macintosh is the BEST computer", I'll be stumped if someone asks me, "where's your daleel from the Quran and Sunnah brozer?"

Look, we talk about daleel in forums only. Do you honestly believe that people may quote those adillah OFF HAND if someone asks them on the street? Unless you're an ESTEEMED scholar, I don't think ANYONE in this forum or any other forum for that matter is able to do that.

How many people can quote the verses, of why we make wudhu' in such a way? [no, you can't cut and paste while walking down the streets, can you?] :p
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

SaLaaMz so wat basically is this post abwt... lolzz...

HoW NoT 2 B EmOTIONaL??? ill tel ju just sMiLe sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILe n sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILE SmILe sMiLe n sMiLe some more LOLZZZ it works 4 me all the tym :):):)
 
Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

aZn_pLayGurL said:
SaLaaMz so wat basically is this post abwt... lolzz...

HoW NoT 2 B EmOTIONaL??? ill tel ju just sMiLe sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILe n sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILE SmILe sMiLe n sMiLe some more LOLZZZ it works 4 me all the tym :):):)
Click to expand...


You may do that with other sisters which fine but the real question is would you do that with the brothers? without getting so hypothetical here I just wanted you to keep that in the back of your mind. Let me know your views on it. I'm very much interested to hear.
 
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Re: How NOT To Be Emotional

Well with anything and any1 am alwayz smiling as long as myself and ALLAH no that itz not in the wrong way its just to be brave and not be emotional then itz all good wat ju sayn :D:D:D
 

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