How social are you?

[GuCcI]

very very social.

Maybe your views will change in the future. I think eventually people get bored of being alone.

 

[Supreme]

you aren't no social outcast bro - don't say that, you're part of the biggest brotherhood in the world, you can walk into a masjid and make more friends in one day than most people can throughout all their school years

I love that post. And it's so true- a mosque (or any religious building) is one of those places where you can just approach anybody without being afraid of them ignoring you or being mean to you. I know when I started to become religious, my number of friends doubled. It's a wonderful experience, and it gets you friends at a far quicker pace than anything else might.

 

[aadil77]

I love that post. And it's so true- a mosque (or any religious building) is one of those places where you can just approach anybody without being afraid of them ignoring you or being mean to you. I know when I started to become religious, my number of friends doubled. It's a wonderful experience, and it gets you friends at a far quicker pace than anything else might.

Yep because you share the same values, you know you have to behave with each other according to your teachings,

 

[Alpha Dude]

what if you're talking about islam, like the companians would with Rasulullah? They were tight knit group of people, in islam we're encouraged to have this brotherhood amongst ourselves, to be in the company of good people, cause then we're always in a state of remembering Allah

Yeah, true. For example if it was company like the people here, where we know our purpose and strive to behave accordingly then it's a pleasure to be in such company.

 

[Salahudeen]

I'm very anti social, I just have a close group of friends and don't kinda go out of them. They're my main guys! I only chill with them, I'm trying to be more social though cos my current friends don't attend masjid and aren't into deen so need to make some masjid friends I think.

 

[Argamemnon]

A lady (my mother's friend) once asked me something like "what if police finds your rotten body eaten by a cat?"

I said "well, why would i care if a cat eats my rotten body when i'm dead? it won't hurt, they are free to indulge."

The poor woman looked scared.. because she saw that i was very serious... lol

 

[aadil77]

I'm very anti social, I just have a close group of friends and don't kinda go out of them. They're my main guys! I only chill with them, I'm trying to be more social though cos my current friends don't attend masjid and aren't into deen so need to make some masjid friends I think.

attend lectures and go on jamats with some brothers from masjids and you'll make loads of 'masjid friends' lol

alhamdulillah my friends are slowly getting closer to deen, from little things like only saying salam to wanting to pray in jama'a

 

[Salahudeen]

A lady (my mother's friend) once asked me something like "what if police finds your rotten body eaten by a cat?"

I said "well, why would i care if a cat eats my rotten body when i'm dead? it won't hurt, they are free to indulge."

The poor woman looked scared.. because she saw that i was very serious... lol

it won't be nice for people washing your dead body, your loved 1s cleaning your body giving it ghusl or what's left of it.

 

[Salahudeen]

attend lectures and go on jamats with some brothers from masjids and you'll make loads of 'masjid friends' lol

alhamdulillah my friends are slowly getting closer to deen, from little things like only saying salam to wanting to pray in jama'a

yeeeeaah the problem is I don't talk much so never really connect/bond with people I only let loose after I've been with them for a good month :hmm:

 

[aadil77]

yeeeeaah the problem is I don't talk much so never really connect/bond with people I only let loose after I've been with them for a good month :hmm:

no prob bro, no reason to be reserved with your own brothers, you can start by just going to weekly halaqa/bayans (gathering with lecture) they're usually after magrib or esha on week days, that way you'll get to know a few brothers slowly

make an effort and InshAllah you'll have some good company

 

[CosmicPathos]

alright but whats with the 'social outcast' under the username?

I just have blue days. Which unfortunately are getting longer and higher in number due to certain mishaps. Perhaps that is why I felt that I feel out of place from humans. But I do get to meet many nice people whenever I go to the masjid, especially from Jamaat. The youngsters do get annoying but the elders never fail to amaze me.

 

[Pearl786]

Salaam.
This is my first post, not to sure how to navigate myself around this site, I'm a bit skeptical of these forums but i am majorly bored from revision so thought i would be daring!
I have to say that this post is quite depressing. You know humans are social creatures, we learn and develop from one another & our life experiences. Take children for example; they learn from play & interaction. Adults are the same, of course some gatherings cause you more harm than good such as gossip/negative chat. But a lot of the time being sociable (within halal limits) actually for many people is refreshing & renews your sense of deen and well-being (as long as you mix with the right kind of people), thats probably why you say you feel interactive during jamaat because your probably feeling that sense of unity- a reason which was and still is a main factor that draws many new muslim reverts to Islam!

 

[cat eyes]

yeeeeaah the problem is I don't talk much so never really connect/bond with people I only let loose after I've been with them for a good month :hmm:

you don't need to connect or bond with people just be yourself even islam tells us that. keep it easy. your making it sound like this is going to be hard work

because people are making you believe something is terribly wrong or lacking in you. your listening to people critisizing you for something special Allah has placed in you

first you need to accept this is the way you are. why should you even change a thing? you dont need to change to satisfy others and make them happy because you will never be happy because it will be such hard work trying to be some one your not and people will always have something nasty to say.

yeah things happen in our life that make us like that also but you cannot turn back the clock either and try and change everything because what has happened has happened and dont let any one judge you for that either.

people are NEVER happy. my mum use to tell me this and you will hear it from other wise people also. they just love to complain only just give it up bro and relax. dont take tension about it

Allah only knows how much i suffered.

I want to give you more guidance but i cant think now what else to say if i think of anything else i will edit my post lol

 

[Salahudeen]

you don't need to connect or bond with people just be yourself even islam tells us that. keep it easy. your making it sound like this is going to be hard work

because people are making you believe something is terribly wrong or lacking in you. your listening to people critisizing you for something special Allah has placed in you

first you need to accept this is the way you are. why should you even change a thing? you dont need to change to satisfy others and make them happy because you will never be happy because it will be such hard work trying to be some one your not and people will always have something nasty to say.

yeah things happen in our life that make us like that also but you cannot turn back the clock either and try and change everything because what has happened has happened and dont let any one judge you for that either.

people are NEVER happy. my mum use to tell me this and you will hear it from other wise people also. they just love to complain only just give it up bro and relax. dont take tension about it

Allah only knows how much i suffered.

I want to give you more guidance but i cant think now what else to say if i think of anything else i will edit my post lol

I know but I just take ages to open up and talk I only speak when it's necessary at first , am all ways described as quiet but that's not a bad thing I guess.

 

[S<Chowdhury]

I think those who find it hard to socialise are really over thinking this, that when you have trouble socialising. interacting with others shouldn't be so hard so don't let it be. People who seem like they can talk to anyone do not get to that position by default,these people are usually confident in themselves, even when they aren't the best or the brightest in the room.
If you are self-conscious during conversations, it will affect how you come across. You need to relax, think of a topic that you are familiar with and care about so you don't have to worry about pretending you like something when you don't.
Confidence is also key, if you are comfortable with yourself and who you are, conversation will come easily.
Just relax, don't stress about it to much, and just let the conversation flow naturally.

 

[Argamemnon]

you don't need to connect or bond with people just be yourself even islam tells us that. keep it easy. your making it sound like this is going to be hard work

You don't seem to understand that not everybody is like you. To me, interacting with people is one of the hardest things in life. It terrorizes me.. in fact, I would say taking part in a war is probably easier. I'm very serious no matter how strange it may sound to most people....

 

[Argamemnon]

I know but I just take ages to open up and talk I only speak when it's necessary at first , am all ways described as quiet but that's not a bad thing I guess.

I think we could be great friends

I have an old friend whom I haven't seen for years and he wants to meet. He is extremely extroverted, it has always amazed me how incredibly calm and relaxed he is. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm convinced that there is some 'malfunction' or 'defect' in my brain. I would give one arm if I could get rid of this...

By the way, science has already established that people who experience excessive anxiety have an overly active "amygdala"...

from wikipedia:

"In 2006, researchers observed hyperactivity in the amygdala when patients were shown threatening faces or confronted with frightening situations. Patients with more severe social phobia showed a correlation with increased response in the amygdala. Similarly, depressed patients showed exaggerated left amygdala activity when interpreting emotions for all faces, and especially for fearful faces."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala#Neuropsychological_correlates_of_amygdalar_activity

 

[aadil77]

I think we could be great friends

I have an old friend whom I haven't seen for years and now he wants to meet.. he is extremely extroverted. It has always amazed me how incredibly calm and relaxed he is. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm absolutely convinced that there is some 'malfunction' or 'defect' in my brain. I would give one arm if I could get rid of this.

Bro theres nothing wrong with you, you're making it sound like you have some brain disease, you might be just a bit shy, just meet up with some brothers and they can help you out. You just need to mix with people to build a bit of confidence and you'll be perfectly alright InshAllah. Try linkin bro Guven, he's from netherlands as well I think, or if ever you pop by leicester in uk we can meet up

 

[Beardo]

I'm not social at all. I prefer setting up my tent of life on-line, and I've been doing so for the past 3 years. I don't mind at all. I mean, I just don't enjoy going to parties etc excessively... And I prefer that there be people my age or at least with similar interests. If neither of those exist, then I prefer not to go... Especially if I know I'll be playing xbox or ps3 or something.

 

[cat eyes]

You don't seem to understand that not everybody is like you. To me, interacting with people is one of the hardest things in life. It terrorizes me.. in fact, I would say taking part in a war is probably easier. I'm very serious no matter how strange it may sound to most people....

my post was not directed at you. it was for brother squiggles..

i have already given you evidence from quran and sunnah that marriage is a must in islam.

what ever you want thats your own buisness what you want to do i could not care less but i have already shown the evidence

its upto you whether you want to act on it or not.