How to avoid Christmas?

[Mohamed_]

Salam Aleykum everyone,
I've a half muslim and a half non-mulsim family background. My parents are separated, so I live with my mother. She is not a muslim, my dad is.

I converted to Islam about 5 months ago, and before it I was christian, just like my mother now. And I celebrated Christmass of course.

But since I am a muslim, I'm not thinking of the christian celebrations, including Christmas. I would not like to celebrate it, becuase Christmas isn't exist in the Islams' celebrations, and I did never like it that so much.

I've already spoken to my mother about it, and told her I prefet to be with my dad at the Christmas time. She said 'no', and she also told me to choose some present. Then I told that to her again, I would not like to celebrate Christmas.

I also don't want to celebrate it because of the alcohol, everyone is drinking alcohol a lot, and eating pork at Christmas. I also told it to her. She was like not listening to me.

I'm feeling myself forced to the Christmas. I would not really like to get any present for Christmas, or watching drunk family members.imsad I really prefer to stay at my dad until the Christmas done.

Here in Europe, especially in Hungary, they don't celebrate the main thing of Christmas. Somehow they forgot about Jesus' birth (peace be upon him).

Is there any possible way to avoid Christmas?imsad

 

[S_87]

inshaAllah someone who has been in this situation can help you in a practical way but may Allah make it easy for you

 

[Rabi'ya]

brother, I kinda understand where you are coming from. Actually for me, I do ospend Christmas with my non-muslim family. for us it has no religious connotation, like it seems in ur family. yet it is a time for us when we are all off work/study and can come together for a day to enjoy each others company. Usually we go to my grandmothers house, have a meal at lunch time, then spend the afternoon with the men watching the TV and the women chatting about things in the kitchen and clearing up. sometimes we go for a walk after dinner.

With regards to presents, I don't give presents as I dont want to celebrate christmas, but my family often get me someting small. My gran usually gets me a bar of chocolate and my mum usually gets me something like a book. I don't expect presents and anyway, if someones offers a gift its rude to refuse. I usually take a large box of choclates to share round, and I tend to help with the cooking, so thats my gift to everyone.

Also, I couldnt care less whether Christmas day existed or not, but it means a lot to my parents that I am with them for thsi day and as long as I am not partaking in any haraam and it does not keep me from my duties as a Muslim then alhamdulillah. even my husband will come with us this year inshAllah

 

[UmmSqueakster]

wa alaikum assalam,

Welcome to islam!

I don't know much about your situation, but I can guess perhaps your mother sees your acceptance of islam as a rejection of her. You need to make sure she knows that you still love and respect her, and as a muslim, that is in fact your duty to do, as mothers are increadibly important. Among the sahaba, there were many who were converts with non muslim parents, and they always treated them with a great deal of respect. Being a child of divorce is hard enough as it is. Throw in religion and it can be darn near impossible! Make sure she knows you're not choosing your father over her, and that you are still her son and that you want to do your best to make her happy.

My parents still don't understand that I don't celebrate christmas, and it's been 8 years! However, I do make sure that I chose a time close to the holiday to spend with them, and to exchange presents. Offer to spend new years with your mother and make it YOUR holiday together. It will be your special mother-son time from now on. You can cook a special meal together, exchange gifts and do other things you enjoy.

 

[Mohamed_]

Thank you for the ideas. Anyways, she has been a muslim, but that's happened around 1994. She knows something about Islam, but she forgot much and now she doesn't really care about such an Islamic thing. =\

Allah my make it easier for me. I hope so. imsad

 

[touba]

Thank you for the ideas. Anyways, she has been a muslim, but that's happened around 1994. She knows something about Islam, but she forgot much and now she doesn't really care about such an Islamic thing. =\

Allah my make it easier for me. I hope so. imsad

Brother MOHAMED

Why not to try to convince your mother to be back as a muslim , Get close to her and talk to her about the islam and spend holiday with her and offer her some gifts may ALLAH SWT show her the right path and come back as a muslim again i wish you good luck INSHALLAH

 

[Cabdullahi]

Brother in order to avoid christmas you have to kill santa claus
by taking out father christmas there will be no christmas.

im kidding dude!

i would advice you to sit with your mum and explain to her in a nice manner...inshallah she'll understand

 

[Esther462]

My family are Christans and I can't avoid Christmas puls it everywhere now in the UK. On TV, in shops and at home. My mum and my family has asked me what I want for Christmas and I just told them. I'm also getting gifts too as I want to be part of the family and I only have to get 2 out of my big family. I'm seeing the gifts as late Eid gifts and I'm seeing the few days over Christmas an excuse to see my family and extended family as I don't get to see them in the rest of the year. How I'm dealing with the food. My mum does turkey on Christmas day and Pork on New Year, so one of my sisters is a veggie so I'm going to eat the same food as her and my family don't really drink alcohol so I won't be under pressure to drink.
My advice is to see Christmas as a time to spend with your family and just ask your mum, can you eat differnet food from the rest of the family.

 

[Mohamed_]

@ touba: My mom doesn't really like Islam, but he knows that muslims are not terrorists. I'm happy for that because she doesn't think I'm a terrorist. She also knows if she re-converts to Islam she has to get married with my stepfather or loose him. =\ I tried it before, she is just not listening to me anymore about Islam and other things. Anyways, she accepts Islam but on her own way.

@ Abdullahii: I don't want to kill Santa Claus. I just want Christmas to be for the christians, or no(?).

@ Esther462: Good for you.

I wish my mom to take care about Islam things aswell, for example: less pork, less alcohol. =\

I also haven't spent Christmas time with my dad, and his family, I think it's time to it... I wonder what would my mother say... I'll ask her once again. =\

 

[جوري]

Brother in order to avoid christmas you have to kill santa claus

You are too funny..
santa clause is already dead..

they keep reviving him like Elvis with folks claiming various sightings but really he died a good ten yrs ago...

 

[mammyluty]

am sorry that am not agreeing wth any of u bt am just wondering is it not kufur to celebrate chrismas.i mean u can mantain the respect between ur parents and family bt u cant indulge in what they do cos its against islam.in islam u r only allowed to respect ur parents n follow what they ask of u if its not something haram...so how is it halal for someone to do something that is haram to non-muslim parents n its not even halal to do them when asked by muslim parents?

 

[mammyluty]

and how r they going to learn that chrismass is haram when u r encouraging them feel like nothing wrong wth it?n yeah there is a famous hadith that paridise lies under the feet of the mother.its not all mothers.prophet mohameds {peace be upon him} parents r in hell.for me theres no diffrence in celebrating chrismass and not eating pork or drinking alcohol!what matters the most?bieng part of the family or pleasing Allah first?

 

[Asiyaah]

Asalaam Alaykum, I hope everything works out for you Brother Mohamed_. It's pretty difficult to avoid christmas in the west, it is embedded in our culture. Remember Allah is merciful and knows the intentions in our hearts. I spend christmas with my family and exchange gifts. To my family it is a secular holiday and is very important to my mom and I do whatever I can to honour and respect her. May Allah guide you.

 

[Woodrow]

If your family is like many American families. They don't celebrate Christmas, they celebrate "Santa Claus Day" and call it Christmas. simply tell your family you are too old for Santa Claus and you would prefer to avoid the childish tomfoolery. Come up with a suggestion as to how you really want to spend the day ie: away from any chance of seeing family members doing what is sinful, drinking, eating haram foods, loud boisterous merry making etc. When all else has failed a calm honest adult discussion sometimes brings results.

 

[mammyluty]

wa alaikum assalam,

Welcome to islam!

I don't know much about your situation, but I can guess perhaps your mother sees your acceptance of islam as a rejection of her. You need to make sure she knows that you still love and respect her, and as a muslim, that is in fact your duty to do, as mothers are increadibly important. Among the sahaba, there were many who were converts with non muslim parents, and they always treated them with a great deal of respect. Being a child of divorce is hard enough as it is. Throw in religion and it can be darn near impossible! Make sure she knows you're not choosing your father over her, and that you are still her son and that you want to do your best to make her happy.

My parents still don't understand that I don't celebrate christmas, and it's been 8 years! However, I do make sure that I chose a time close to the holiday to spend with them, and to exchange presents. Offer to spend new years with your mother and make it YOUR holiday together. It will be your special mother-son time from now on. You can cook a special meal together, exchange gifts and do other things you enjoy.

its true sister i dont understand y others r encouging him to celebrate chrismass wtn them when there is alot of ways to honor ur parents n care for them.am sure if u honor n show them u love them in alot of ways n refuse to celebrate chrismas they cant hate u or feel hurt cos they will alwys remember the moments u share apart from chrismaas.the brother can make her mother happy without celebrating chrissmass.anyways May Allah make it easy for him.

 

[Ramadhan]

and how r they going to learn that chrismass is haram when u r encouraging them feel like nothing wrong wth it?

uhhh sis, the brother's mother family are christians.

n yeah there is a famous hadith that paridise lies under the feet of the mother.its not all mothers.prophet mohameds {peace be upon him} parents r in hell.

Be careful of what you say, sis. How do you know prophet Mohammad SAW parents are in hell?
My understanding is that they died before message of Islam was given to the prophet SAW.
According to hadiths, the one who was threatened with jahannam is prophet's uncle Abu Thalib because he refused to say syahadat even though he believed in the prophet and his message.

for me theres no diffrence in celebrating chrismass and not eating pork or drinking alcohol!

I'm sure you meant this to be "theres no diffrence in celebrating chrismass and eating pork or drinking alcohol"

 

[Mohamed_]

My parents are celebrating Jesus' Birthday, not Santa Claus. Espcially my grandfather, he's a strong christian.

Do I have to even love my mom if she forces me to what I don't want? Why is it bad if I just want to spend the Christmas time with my dad?

 

[mammyluty]

uhhh sis, the brother's mother family are christians.



Be careful of what you say, sis. How do you know prophet Mohammad SAW parents are in hell?
My understanding is that they died before message of Islam was given to the prophet SAW.
According to hadiths, the one who was threatened with jahannam is prophet's uncle Abu Thalib because he refused to say syahadat even though he believed in the prophet and his message.



I'm sure you meant this to be "theres no diffrence in celebrating chrismass and eating pork or drinking alcohol"

It was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that his parents are in Hell. Muslim (203) narrated that a man said: “O Messenger of Allaah, where is my father?’ He said: “In Hell.” When the man turned away, he called him back and said: “My father and your father are in Hell.”

With regard to his mother he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I asked my Lord for permission to pray for forgiveness for my mother, and He did not give me permission. I asked him for permission to visit her grave, and He gave me permission.” Narrated by Muslim, 976.

Allah knows best n if am wrong May Allah forgive me.

 

[mammyluty]

We should understand that blood ties will not save anyone from the wrath of Allaah. Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Whoever dies in kufr will be in Hell and his blood ties will not benefit him at all. Sharh Saheeh Muslim, 3/79.

The ruling on the parents and grandfather of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is no exception to that. The father of Ibraaheem (peace be upon him) was a kaafir and remained so until he died, and Ibraaheem disavowed himself of him, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And Ibraaheem’s (Abraham) invoking (of Allaah) for his father’s forgiveness was only because of a promise he [Ibraaheem (Abraham)] had made to him (his father). But when it became clear to him that he (his father) is an enemy of Allaah, he dissociated himself from him”

[al-Tawbah 9:114]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) even stated this clearly, when the following verse was revealed (interpretation of the meaning):

“And warn your tribe (O Muhammad) of near kindred”

[al-Shu’ara’ 26:214]

He said: "O people of Quraysh (or said similar words)! Buy (i.e. save) yourselves (from the Hellfire) as I cannot save you from Allaah's punishment. O Bani Abd Manaaf, I cannot save you from Allaah's punishment. O ‘Abbaas ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib, I cannot save you from Allaah's punishment. O Safiyyah, aunt of the Messenger of Allaah, I cannot save you from Allaah's punishment. O Faatimah daughter of Muhammad, Ask me for whatever you want of my wealth, but I cannot save you from Allaah's punishment.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2753; Muslim, 206.

No Muslim should let his feelings for the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his relatives make him issue judgements without clear proof and knowledge, lest that lead to loss in this world and in the Hereafter. And Allaah is the One Whose help we seek

 

[nilufer]

My parents are celebrating Jesus' Birthday, not Santa Claus. Espcially my grandfather, he's a strong christian.

Do I have to even love my mom if she forces me to what I don't want? Why is it bad if I just want to spend the Christmas time with my dad?

you are a man and you can take the decision by your self and nobody can decide on your place so go spend the christmas with your father