How to avoid fitna from the opposite gender?

[ardianto]

I should put clothes on my eyes, so I can't see.

The problem is not in your eyes, but in your mind. If you close your eyes, but you still cannot control your mind, then you will still feel an urge to look at women unnecessary. But if you are able to control your mind, then you can control your eyes. And to be able to control your mind you must have ability to think long about "what will happen if .......?".

Okay, I will tell the story about a moment that happened 29 years ago.

I was walking with a beautiful girl who I knew, she liked me. And I could see that she had lost her self-control she walked with me. She tried to grab my attention to make me do physical contact like hold her hand or hug her. But I still calm and still kept the distance. When she got closer, I stayed away, to avoid physical contact. That made her ashamed, but also made her impressed. That's why few years later when she had ready to get married she rejected all of the suitors and came to me who absolutely didn't try to get her. Yes, she was the girl who later became the mother of my children.

Ability to thinking long. That's what made me could control myself in that moment.

My wife had positive image on me since the beginning met her in high school. She saw me as modest guy who behave politely toward women. I knew it and I always tried to maintain this positive image. That's why in that moment I tried to control myself because I realize, if I fell into temptation and then do physical contact, my positive image on her eyes would be fall down.

A little lesson from Mister Ardianto.

 

[Serinity]

The problem is not in your eyes, but in your mind. If you close your eyes, but you still cannot control your mind, then you will still feel an urge to look at women unnecessary. But if you are able to control your mind, then you can control your eyes. And to be able to control your mind you must have ability to think long about "what will happen if .......?".

Okay, I will tell the story about a moment that happened 29 years ago.

I was walking with a beautiful girl who I knew, she liked me. And I could see that she had lost her self-control she walked with me. She tried to grab my attention to make me do physical contact like hold her hand or hug her. But I still calm and still kept the distance. When she got closer, I stayed away, to avoid physical contact. That made her ashamed, but also made her impressed. That's why few years later when she had ready to get married she rejected all of the suitors and came to me who absolutely didn't try to get her. Yes, she was the girl who later became the mother of my children.

Ability to thinking long. That's what made me could control myself in that moment.

My wife had positive image on me since the beginning met her in high school. She saw me as modest guy who behave politely toward women. I knew it and I always tried to maintain this positive image. That's why in that moment I tried to control myself because I realize, if I fell into temptation and then do physical contact, my positive image on her eyes would be fall down.

A little lesson from Mister Ardianto.

What would happen if Allah would take my life this very moment, which would either mark my obedience and submission to Allah, or my complete failure?

What if this was the final test that would outline and be the very reason Allah saves me from Hellfire?

Like that?

What if because of me abstaining from my nafs and taming it, not being engulfed by the flames, Allah saves me?

In Surah Al-Fatihah verse 4 we recite: "You alone we worship, and You alone we ask for Help"

 

[Aay1K0]

I'm not expert but my some bits of advice are
1-Praying (Namaz) regularly and Fasting.
2-Repent from sins.
3-when bad thoughts are coming instantly divert your mind towards different topics like education, professional life etc.

(My english is not good, if I write anything wrong, please correct me.)

 

[Scimitar]

how to avoid the fitna of women...

...avoid women

Scimi