How to avoid lustful desires?

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anonymous

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I am severely having lustful desires. I can't marry soon. So how can i said it? I don't do any masturbation wven if i have the urge. But i just keep thinking about all that. Whenever i lay on my bed and close my eyes, i can't avoid it. It's really disturbing me. Please help me if you have any advicw
 
Try to fast if you can, as the Prophet (saws) recommended that as a means of controlling sexual desire. They fasting mondays and Thursdays which is a sunnah and the 13th 14th and 15th of every lunar month. Also asunnah. If you cant fast like me, whether it be for medical reasons or other, try keeping yourself busy as much as possible. A scholar once told me that your nafs and willpower become purified distracted and or shaped moulded and fed by what we choose to engage in. As the saying goes "the idle mind is the devils workshop". They reading the English and Arabic quran. Work at a job, or change your environment if you haven't already. Start a business. Recognize that these desires are perfectly natural and are the reason we exist, because they drive us as a species to marry and mate. Try to get married if you can. If you are gay, stay celibate, and stay away from the liberals who will try to tell you it's ok. Surround yourself with pious friends who will urge you to do good. Eat less. This is asunnah, and eating less and less is healthier as proven by modern science but dont overd it.
 
also, i suggest exercising to get out all that energy. dont feel ashamed. these desires are natural but you must channel them into something productive such as hobbies or exercise to distract you, and greater strength, wisdom, and hasanah. if you are the person writing about getting someone to accompany you to meet a brother, i would suggest if your wali is being unreasonable take the issue to an imam or whoever is the islamic judge in the area, and if he persists, make them (the imam or judge) your wali. that is in the shariah.
 
The answer isn't so simple. Especially if you are addicted. You have to take a series of steps in order to stay away from any types of desires that are a risk for you. SintoDinto's reply is one way to start going about it. You'd also have to increase your love for Allah and the religion, and your fear of Allah. This also has a major impact. Constantly do more research and always learn more, watch lectures, llook for other advice, etc.
 
ALSO, look at it from a psychological perspective.

Once you close your eyes, you said you can't help it. Why? Because you get a single thought. Then they persist and jump at you in forms of multiple thoughts, bringing you to give up to the temptation.

The first thing you gotta do is, once you close your eyes, try to fight the first thought you get. Dont think "I cant do this.. I shouldn't be doing this". The more you think about it and how you cant do it, you will be even more tempted to do it. THink "i dont want to do this!" and automatically push your thoughts away and CLEAR your mind or think about something else. Its not easy, but if you give in at the start, it wont even be much of a battle

You formed a habit. You brain automatically reminds you especially when you lay down at night. Now you gotta kill the habit. It wont be easy at first. But it eventually gets easier so remind yourself that. And remember, your lustful desire is only temporary. Its not even a real rewardd. Because as soon as you finish the haram way, itll come back.

So would you rather take the haram route when the desire will eventually come back? Or would you learn to master your mind so that you dont need a cheap way to CONSTANTLY satisfy a temporary desire that leaves on its own.

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Also, try to distract your mind with a lecture or quran as you go to sleep.
 
The world we live in today certainly makes it very tough for any believer, especially our youth. It all comes down to how much self control and taqwa the individual has as well as how willing they are to make certain sacrifices in their lives. For those with weak personalities, giving up things like watching movies, staying away from the TV, staying away from social gatherings where mixing might be involved, change the friends you hang out with, etc.. work hard to lower your gaze when necessary. Even if it’s a small glance, turn away quickly. Any small action like that can make a difference if you make it a habit.

People fall victim to their desires during the time of Ramadan, so while fasting may help, fasting alone is not enough. If your issue is more than just thoughts, try to continually remind yourself of the akhira. Think before you act. Remind yourself about how you feel afterwards. A lot of times, people say they deeply regret what they did but will eventually repeat the action again. That feeling of regret should be enough of a motivation to stop any action before starting it.
 

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