How to avoid suicide?

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Assalam walikum warahmatullah e wa barakhatuhu,

Nowadays many people are commiting suicide . A month ago my 2 classmates committed suicide. More than 7 and 8 students from our school committed suicide . Today my another classmate attempted suicide but fortunately I saved her but I don't know how to save her , because she is mentally disturb and I tried many tricks . Three times she attempt suicide . I tried to console her . I know about psychology , philosophy and Islam ,I don't know much about them ,but I know that much that I can solve anyone's problem and to know about the feeling .

So now it is my request to you guys please give me some advices. Because human life is very precious . Any kind of advice and how should I handle her and others .

Jazakoum Allahou khairen

 

[Eric H]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

I am so sorry you have been put in this position while you are still at school / college. If two other classmates have ended their life, they have sadly shown others a way to solve problems. Are you able to tell any of your teachers about this? if she is a Muslim, can you encourage her to see an imam. can she be encouraged to talk to her parents? From my understanding, counselling services are being overwhelmed with mental health problems.

Either by accident you found out she was about to end her life, or she let you know her intentions in some way. She probably wants or needs a friend to talk to.

Possibly the best thing you can do as a friend, is to encourage her to talk, and you to listen with as little interruption as possible. Has she said why she is feeling this way. If she is able to truthfully share her problems with you, it will help her. Often a good and caring friend can be a life saver. You don't have to come up with solutions. One thing I have said before is, I would rather listen to your story, than go to your funeral.

Many people who feel suicidal, don't want to die. They want the pain to stop, whether it is a mental or physical pain, but they don't know how to stop the pain.

You can pray for her, you can also ask Allah to help and guide you before you meet her again.

May Allah bless you and your friend through this troubling time.
Eric

 

[SintoDinto]

Tell her to see a counselor or therapist or at least someone she can trust who isn't trained professionally as a last resort. Mental health workers are well qualified to deal with this sort of thing, and she may need to be hospitalized if she is a threat to herself, but she may have another issue, like borderline personality disorder, so it's important to note the difference between acute suicidality which is very sudden and chronic suicidality which is push and pull and dependent on external things as in the case of bpd. Or cptsd or ptsd which have similar symptoms (complex post traumatic stress disorder and post traumatic stress disorder) however even chronic suicidality and the all too common suicidal gestures of a borderline or traumatized person need to be taken seriously. Like Eric said, these people need the pain to stop, and they also need to feel loved and accepted. But you must seek help because it sounds like she may have to be hospitalized

 

[SintoDinto]

Also, if I may add, borderline personality disorder is often caused by trauma in childhood and/or adolescence, such as verbal, physical, and often sexual abuse. It causes fears of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness and empty identity and desperate search for self which seems to be missing and their ideas about themselves are constantly shifting and they also are often if not always highly impulsive. It can also be shaped by genetics. Ptsd is a response to a traumatic event. C ptsd is repeated traumatic events, difference between bpd being it causes avoidance rather than neediness and a shift in worldview, like the world is dangerous. Bipolar is genetic and has either bipolar 1 which is all mania (extremely high energy and anger too) or I Think...also can be just extremes of depression or bipolar 2 which has both shifting extremes...high and low.....there are a number of other illnesses but you'll have to speak to a professional.

 

[SintoDinto]

Could also be that she's just depressed or anxious

 

[Muslimbr.]

Wa 'alaikum as Salaam
You must tell your college authorities to find out the reason of suicides and to take appropriate steps to solve the issues. Either it is the pressure from parents or teachers to secure more and more percentage in the examination or any other threat/issue. Tell students that suicide is not the solution to any problem. Instead, it increases the problem. Because, those who commit suicide go to hell after death. Allah dislikes those who commit suicide. So, Instead of suicide, ask the students to find out the solution to their problems. Tell them that he/she is not the only one who has problems, there are billions of people in the world who have problems. Many people have bigger problems than them. They try to find out the solutions. So should you do.

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

I am so sorry you have been put in this position while you are still at school / college. If two other classmates have ended their life, they have sadly shown others a way to solve problems. Are you able to tell any of your teachers about this? if she is a Muslim, can you encourage her to see an imam. can she be encouraged to talk to her parents? From my understanding, counselling services are being overwhelmed with mental health problems.

Either by accident you found out she was about to end her life, or she let you know her intentions in some way. She probably wants or needs a friend to talk to.

Possibly the best thing you can do as a friend, is to encourage her to talk, and you to listen with as little interruption as possible. Has she said why she is feeling this way. If she is able to truthfully share her problems with you, it will help her. Often a good and caring friend can be a life saver. You don't have to come up with solutions. One thing I have said before is, I would rather listen to your story, than go to your funeral.

Many people who feel suicidal, don't want to die. They want the pain to stop, whether it is a mental or physical pain, but they don't know how to stop the pain.

You can pray for her, you can also ask Allah to help and guide you before you meet her again.

May Allah bless you and your friend through this troubling time.
Eric

Jazak Allah khairen

Because of an incident she wants to commit suicide . It is because of her Parents .
Yes she is a Muslim and I tried to say these things ,about imaan . I Heard her story as well . But problem is not her it is because of her parents . . Anyway ,thank you so much and jazak Allah khairen

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Wa 'alaikum as Salaam
You must tell your college authorities to find out the reason of suicides and to take appropriate steps to solve the issues. Either it is the pressure from parents or teachers to secure more and more percentage in the examination or any other threat/issue. Tell students that suicide is not the solution to any problem. Instead, it increases the problem. Because, those who commit suicide go to hell after death. Allah dislikes those who commit suicide. So, Instead of suicide, ask the students to find out the solution to their problems. Tell them that he/she is not the only one who has problems, there are billions of people in the world who have problems. Many people have bigger problems than them. They try to find out the solutions. So should you do.

Jazak Allah khairen ,

It is school she is only 16 years old . Now she wants to end her life . I made her understand.i made her realize . The school authority is saying it is not school problem parents should solve it . Parents are saying that they are committing suicide at school . So both of them are silent. I protest about with my school Mates . L lead them . But still they are not taking any step . . Thank you so much for your suggestion.
Jazak Allah khairen

 

[Eric H]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

The school authority is saying it is not school problem parents should solve it . Parents are saying that they are committing suicide at school . So both of them are silent.

As unqualified as you might feel, you are probably the best person to support your friend, you are passionate, caring and you have a faith in Allah. If your friend has survived three previous attempts on her life, that makes her a survivor, and she is a survivor for a purpose. When you ask about a purpose, you have to ask, was Allah behind this? Do you think you helped her on your own, were you there at the right time by accident? If you know of any of the reasons that make your friend feel suicidal, ask if you can pray aloud with her while she is with you. Pray that Allah will give her the strength and the hope to cope with her specific problems. Having someone pray for your specific needs is powerful, I can remember the times people have prayed for my situation.

If she can find healing through faith in Allah, she will be in a profound place to help others and promote her religion. Allah will not place a burden on anyone that they cannot carry without his help. Believe in this and trust Allah is truthful in his promises. Your friend will not want others to suffer in the way she has suffered, and her story as a survivor is powerful to help others who are suffering. If she can help others, it will help her in profound ways.

Thank Allah for surviving another day, pray for the wisdom, strength and the peace to do the will of Allah.
May Allah bless you on your journey.
Eric

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;



As unqualified as you might feel, you are probably the best person to support your friend, you are passionate, caring and you have a faith in Allah. If your friend has survived three previous attempts on her life, that makes her a survivor, and she is a survivor for a purpose. When you ask about a purpose, you have to ask, was Allah behind this? Do you think you helped her on your own, were you there at the right time by accident? If you know of any of the reasons that make your friend feel suicidal, ask if you can pray aloud with her while she is with you. Pray that Allah will give her the strength and the hope to cope with her specific problems. Having someone pray for your specific needs is powerful, I can remember the times people have prayed for my situation.

If she can find healing through faith in Allah, she will be in a profound place to help others and promote her religion. Allah will not place a burden on anyone that they cannot carry without his help. Believe in this and trust Allah is truthful in his promises. Your friend will not want others to suffer in the way she has suffered, and her story as a survivor is powerful to help others who are suffering. If she can help others, it will help her in profound ways.

Thank Allah for surviving another day, pray for the wisdom, strength and the peace to do the will of Allah.
May Allah bless you on your journey.
Eric

Jazak Allah khairen

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Tell her to see a counselor or therapist or at least someone she can trust who isn't trained professionally as a last resort. Mental health workers are well qualified to deal with this sort of thing, and she may need to be hospitalized if she is a threat to herself, but she may have another issue, like borderline personality disorder, so it's important to note the difference between acute suicidality which is very sudden and chronic suicidality which is push and pull and dependent on external things as in the case of bpd. Or cptsd or ptsd which have similar symptoms (complex post traumatic stress disorder and post traumatic stress disorder) however even chronic suicidality and the all too common suicidal gestures of a borderline or traumatized person need to be taken seriously. Like Eric said, these people need the pain to stop, and they also need to feel loved and accepted. But you must seek help because it sounds like she may have to be hospitalized

Jazak Allah khairen,
And thank you for your suggestion. Now I think she doesn't need to be hospitalized and I made her understand . Yes it is true that she needs love or someone to care about her .I can feel that she taught ,"my self is meaningless" . Sometimes we lose from the life and become tired . We need someone in some places . But I made her realized that she should be alive for her and Allah . No need to be alive for anyone you should be alive for you only and try to face problems. Life won't be enjoyable without any problem . I can see the difference in these two days .
Thank you for your suggestion

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Also, if I may add, borderline personality disorder is often caused by trauma in childhood and/or adolescence, such as verbal, physical, and often sexual abuse. It causes fears of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness and empty identity and desperate search for self which seems to be missing and their ideas about themselves are constantly shifting and they also are often if not always highly impulsive. It can also be shaped by genetics. Ptsd is a response to a traumatic event. C ptsd is repeated traumatic events, difference between bpd being it causes avoidance rather than neediness and a shift in worldview, like the world is dangerous. Bipolar is genetic and has either bipolar 1 which is all mania (extremely high energy and anger too) or I Think...also can be just extremes of depression or bipolar 2 which has both shifting extremes...high and low.....there are a number of other illnesses but you'll have to speak to a professional.

Jazak Allah khairen ,
And thank you so much for your suggestion.

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Also, if I may add, borderline personality disorder is often caused by trauma in childhood and/or adolescence, such as verbal, physical, and often sexual abuse. It causes fears of abandonment, chronic feelings of emptiness and empty identity and desperate search for self which seems to be missing and their ideas about themselves are constantly shifting and they also are often if not always highly impulsive. It can also be shaped by genetics. Ptsd is a response to a traumatic event. C ptsd is repeated traumatic events, difference between bpd being it causes avoidance rather than neediness and a shift in worldview, like the world is dangerous. Bipolar is genetic and has either bipolar 1 which is all mania (extremely high energy and anger too) or I Think...also can be just extremes of depression or bipolar 2 which has both shifting extremes...high and low.....there are a number of other illnesses but you'll have to speak to a professional.

I talked to a psychiatrist and I'm learning from her she told me that she needs to be more cared or loved then she can be normal . If you can do it then it won't be a big issue . She can recover fast.

 

[Eric H]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

I talked to a psychiatrist and I'm learning from her she told me that she needs to be more cared or loved then she can be normal . If you can do it then it won't be a big issue . She can recover fast.

A girl from a local school committed suicide a few years ago, I remember walking by afterwards and seeing all the flowers left for her. All the messages said how lovely this girl was and how she would be missed. Had all these people said these things to her when she was alive, she would probably still be here today.

You don't want to see all the flowers and kind messages for your friend. Not only does your friend need to hear how valued she is today, but also all the others in the school need to know how valued they are too. Everyone has a story, and possibly hiding all their pain. Maybe the school could introduce some sort of kindness policy, something like, every day, say some kind words to not only your friends, but to others you don't normally associate much with. No one needs any qualifications to say kind words, it costs nothing, and I think the school would have a more positive attitude.

If two people have tragically ended their life at your school, there is a need to do something. It takes one person to make changes.

May Allah bless you on your journey.
Eric

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;


A girl from a local school committed suicide a few years ago, I remember walking by afterwards and seeing all the flowers left for her. All the messages said how lovely this girl was and how she would be missed. Had all these people said these things to her when she was alive, she would probably still be here today.

You don't want to see all the flowers and kind messages for your friend. Not only does your friend need to hear how valued she is today, but also all the others in the school need to know how valued they are too. Everyone has a story, and possibly hiding all their pain. Maybe the school could introduce some sort of kindness policy, something like, every day, say some kind words to not only your friends, but to others you don't normally associate much with. No one needs any qualifications to say kind words, it costs nothing, and I think the school would have a more positive attitude.

If two people have tragically ended their life at your school, there is a need to do something. It takes one person to make changes.

May Allah bless you on your journey.
Eric

Ameen summa ameen,
Jazak Allah khairen

 

[Eric H]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

Our lives are a journey, always one day at a time, we all have a history and a story. I don't think there are any one day solutions to life's problems, we do a little bit each and every day. At the age of 73, life is still a mystery. Other people's lives affect who we are, when people around us are troubled, we can feel troubled too. When those around us are feeling happy and positive, this can also rub off on us too. We need other people as much as they need us. One of the big lessons I have learned, is when you help others, you probably help yourself more.

We give thanks for another day.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will.
Eric

 

[A.R.BRahimbaksh]

Peace be with you A.R.BRahimbaksh;

Our lives are a journey, always one day at a time, we all have a history and a story. I don't think there are any one day solutions to life's problems, we do a little bit each and every day. At the age of 73, life is still a mystery. Other people's lives affect who we are, when people around us are troubled, we can feel troubled too. When those around us are feeling happy and positive, this can also rub off on us too. We need other people as much as they need us. One of the big lessons I have learned, is when you help others, you probably help yourself more.

We give thanks for another day.

May Allah bless you with the wisdom, strength and the peace to do his will.
Eric

Ameen summa ameen,
Jazak Allah khairen