How to control sexual feelings towards other men?

[Al - Waris]

i have that proeblem... so badly im trap in the system ofeducation world.. !!! N unfortunately... i am "Gay" (actually i still not sure wether can i really definded as gay, coz alhamdulillah i nver having sex with other man)... how can i manage my sexual desire to overcome my mind about boys and men ? by mastrubate ? i wanna get maried ? but i afraid of what could happend.. wether my wife will find that im gay.. n maybe i will never satisfied her.... Or.. afraid of controling my self to not to implamantate what in my mind about boys.. (im sory for straight maybe it sound gross... but thats it).....anyway.. so far mastrubate help me to overcome my mental illnes...
Question is ??? is it right in islamic conteks ?
jazakillah.. :hiding:

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

i have that proeblem... so badly im trap in the system ofeducation world.. !!! N unfortunately... i am "Gay" (actually i still not sure wether can i really definded as gay, coz alhamdulillah i nver having sex with other man)... how can i manage my sexual desire to overcome my mind about boys and men ? by mastrubate ? i wanna get maried ? but i afraid of what could happend.. wether my wife will find that im gay.. n maybe i will never satisfied her.... Or.. afraid of controling my self to not to implamantate what in my mind about boys.. (im sory for straight maybe it sound gross... but thats it).....anyway.. so far mastrubate help me to overcome my mental illnes...
Question is ??? is it right in islamic conteks ?
jazakillah..

Just like how men who are straight have to control themselves from committing Zinaa, from lustful gazes, etc. despite being very much attracted to women, so too does a person who has such thoughts as you have described need to learn how to control his Nafs in order to prevent himself from falling into Haraam (homosexual relations).

In SA, there is an `Aalim who actually specialises in treating people who have this problem (homosexuality). Maulana Dawood Sampson.

I don't know if there are any scholars in your locality who do this. Where do you live?

These kinds of thoughts and feelings are caused by Shaytaan, because he wants to destroy people, and so what you have to do is fight against those Wasaawis (insinuations of Shaytaan) and marry a girl instead, In Shaa Allaah. Before doing that, you should mention the difficulty you are experiencing, and if she is fine with it and is willing to help you, go ahead with the marriage.

Nabi Loot عليه السلام advised Qowm-e-Loot to stay away from men and to marry women instead. He said, "These are my daughters (i.e. the women of the city). They are purer for you."

You are 20 years old, correct?

I'm sure that if you see a really beautiful woman in real life, all of those thoughts and feelings you're having will dissipate.

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum bro [MENTION=39793]Al - Waris[/MENTION]

Welcome to the forum, and so sorry to be hearing about your troubles. May Allah make things easy for you and save you from fitnah ameen. I've made your thread as its own topic so you can get more help inshallah.

 

[aaj]

as'salaamu alaikum,

Inshallah check out these links.

He is homosexual and is afraid to get married - islamqa.info

He is homosexual and wants a remedy - islamqa.info

He wants to repent from homosexuality and needs help - islamqa.info

may Allah protect us from such sins, ameen.

 

[drac16]

Salam alaykum

Next time you have a desire to masturbate, make dhikr. Spirituality can conquer biology. In other words, God will provide a way of escape to lead you to a point where you can keep your desires under control. Obviously nobody is perfect, but it can at least be manageable. No matter how many times you have homosexual desires, make tawba. Even if you fail a hundred times, keep making tawba.

Also, make sure your heart is clean from anger. What I have seen is that some people are angry with God, so God refuses to give them enough grace to conquer sexual temptations. Examine yourself. Make sure you have no bitterness or anger towards God. It's happened to be before. I once felt anger towards God because He hasn't given me something, so He left me unable to conquer sexual temptations. Now that I am more humble, sexual temptation is much easier to fight.

Be humble and God will give you the grace to conquer sexual temptations.

 

[Al - Waris]

Jazakillah guys.. may Allah help all of us.. unfortunately,,,, i might be different then others.. i just afraid guys... what if i'll never have a normal family... n yet i still miss the point.. why Allah create me this way... for normal people,, there is a limitation for them... me,,,, what happend into my mind.. they should tobe under my mind for the rest of my life N im forbidden to do that... !!!
My poin is... Please make dua for me.. and people like me.. i just wana tell the world that there is somebody like me...
Wassalam mg:

 

[Little_Lion]

Do not fear, brother, there are sisters out there who would very happily marry a "gay" man. Many sisters also have homosexual thoughts and feel the same things that you do, that they are afraid that they would never make a husband happy or that they will never have a family and fulfill the sunnah. Myself, I am asexual - I have no attraction to anyone - and as such am also concerned about finding a husband that would understand that I will not be physically attracted to him. So do not despair, a good match with a woman is out there for you, insha'Allah! They may just be difficult to find. May Allah grant you ease in your search!

 

[Kiro]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Just like how men who are straight have to control themselves from committing Zinaa, from lustful gazes, etc. despite being very much attracted to women, so too does a person who has such thoughts as you have described need to learn how to control his Nafs in order to prevent himself from falling into Haraam (homosexual relations).

In SA, there is an `Aalim who actually specialises in treating people who have this problem (homosexuality). Maulana Dawood Sampson.

I don't know if there are any scholars in your locality who do this. Where do you live?

These kinds of thoughts and feelings are caused by Shaytaan, because he wants to destroy people, and so what you have to do is fight against those Wasaawis (insinuations of Shaytaan) and marry a girl instead, In Shaa Allaah. Before doing that, you should mention the difficulty you are experiencing, and if she is fine with it and is willing to help you, go ahead with the marriage.

Nabi Loot عليه السلام advised Qowm-e-Loot to stay away from men and to marry women instead. He said, "These are my daughters (i.e. the women of the city). They are purer for you."

You are 20 years old, correct?

I'm sure that if you see a really beautiful woman in real life, all of those thoughts and feelings you're having will dissipate.

What do you classify as a really beautiful women

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

What do you classify as a really beautiful women

Beauty is subjective. What is considered beautiful differs from person to person. Every person's idea of "beauty" is different. One man may consider a particular woman to be beautiful, yet another man would not find that woman attractive in the least. So it is up to the individual himself. He himself has to see such a woman who he would consider to be exceptionally beautiful. Someone else can't decide for him which woman is beautiful.

 

[Nobody's Girl]

Salaam alaikum brother.

I am so sorry you've been going through all of this. I understand that this can be very challenging. There is one thing you have to do at a time like this, and that is to have patience. I would suggest that you lower your gaze from any man you are attracted to. Homosexuality is a test from God. And believe me if you succceed in resisting this temptation then you will be rewarded for your patience. If you don't feel attracted to the sin then you can't have a struggle against it. You get rewarded for the things that you find difficult in life. Regarding the marriage thing, honestly I don't think it's advisable for someone in your situation to consider getting married because you're too young and marriage has huge responsiblities and oblihations. I can't claim I'm a good or practising muslim. Sometimes I find it very hard to even pray so I don't want to lie and claim I am. I am just saying *try* your best to pray and read some quran.


I love you for the sake of Allah.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
May Allah help you in succeeding this test.

 

[Kiro]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Beauty is subjective. What is considered beautiful differs from person to person. Every person's idea of "beauty" is different. One man may consider a particular woman to be beautiful, yet another man would not find that woman attractive in the least. So it is up to the individual himself. He himself has to see such a woman who he would consider to be exceptionally beautiful. Someone else can't decide for him which woman is beautiful.

Are you speak as a teacher? Or as a male?

 

[startingarabic]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

kiro, the question?

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Are you speak as a teacher? Or as a male?

Both.

The point is that, Nabi Loot عليه السلام commanded his people to stay away from men and to marry women instead. We know this from the Qur'aan. He said this despite them being gay. Now, these days people say that homosexual males should not get married. However, what we see here is the opposite. He is telling them: "These are my daughters. They are purer for you." So what you learn is that homosexuality is a sickness which can be cured, In Shaa Allaah. The very fact that he ordered them to stop being gay and to marry women instead points out to the fact that such a person can change and start liking only women again.

 

[Al - Waris]

Jazakillah... Now i strat to train my self to become more humble... i never anger to God... !!! its just me.. who too ego..

 

[Al - Waris]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Just like how men who are straight have to control themselves from committing Zinaa, from lustful gazes, etc. despite being very much attracted to women, so too does a person who has such thoughts as you have described need to learn how to control his Nafs in order to prevent himself from falling into Haraam (homosexual relations).

In SA, there is an `Aalim who actually specialises in treating people who have this problem (homosexuality). Maulana Dawood Sampson.

I don't know if there are any scholars in your locality who do this. Where do you live?

These kinds of thoughts and feelings are caused by Shaytaan, because he wants to destroy people, and so what you have to do is fight against those Wasaawis (insinuations of Shaytaan) and marry a girl instead, In Shaa Allaah. Before doing that, you should mention the difficulty you are experiencing, and if she is fine with it and is willing to help you, go ahead with the marriage.

Nabi Loot عليه السلام advised Qowm-e-Loot to stay away from men and to marry women instead. He said, "These are my daughters (i.e. the women of the city). They are purer for you."

You are 20 years old, correct?

I'm sure that if you see a really beautiful woman in real life, all of those thoughts and feelings you're having will dissipate.

InsyaAllah my brother.. well, i live in Indonesia n iam a student (Animal Science Husbandary),, i just afraid to tell this to someone i know here... i dont want they hate me becouse of it.. im strugle here my berother... jazakillah for your edviced N i really apresiate it (mostly all of you my friends)... iam doing some research about my self.. n i found that everything we eat could efect our system.. in my case, my sexual orientation... yeahhh,, being this personality is so much scary.. N heavy... There for i need to tell to the wrold... be ware of everything Haram.. such us Dog, Pig, OR so on... also here,, mostly muslimah, theyre not wearing hijab.. i wonder maybe there are some efect of that irony... One more.. why im afraid of getting marry,, coz as we know that Allah (Subhana wataala) hates divorcement... i just afraid, i dont know hw to describe it...
InsyaALLAH,, ALLAH is the most fair...
may Allah protect us from this kind of sin..
Wassalam

 

[Muhammad]

:wasalamex

N unfortunately... i am "Gay" (actually i still not sure wether can i really definded as gay,

A Muslim should not identify themselves as 'gay' or 'homosexual'. This is a problematic and unIslamic identity. These are labels that mean different things to different people. They can isolate people and push them to conform to certain lifestyles that they themselves don’t want. They are, in a way, an affirmation of a proposed narrative that people have no choice. You can change the way you view yourself and others.

How we perceive ourselves can have a bearing on our behaviour as well as the way others perceive us. A lot of the time, people are simply confused by certain thoughts and feelings, which leads to an incorrect interpretation (and label). The advice of Prophet Lut :as: indicates that this is not a state of permanence, rather it is an inclination that can be fought and pushed away as with all temptation and desire.

Brother, keep striving and making du'a to Allaah :swt:. :ia:, with time, patience and maturity, you will notice a difference. You are a Muslim brother being tested like everyone else. Read the Qur'an and it will purify and heal you. There is always hope for marriage, by Allaah's permission.

And Allaah :swt: Knows best.