How to overcome Porn & Masturbation

[Hamza Asadullah]

Asalaamu Alaikum, This thread is devoted to helping us find ways of overcoming porn & masturbation. I hope it is most beneficial to all those affected.

How to overcome Porn & Masturbation


12 Tips to Help overcome porn & Masturbation


1. Do not to touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Even if you get tempted to do so, just think that Allah is watching you right now. Then finish what you are doing immediately, so that your focus diverts away from the urge.

2. Try to avoid being alone as much as possible. Being bored and alone are two dangerous combinations. This is because Shaythan plays with the minds of those of us who sit around idle, not doing anything and are "bored". He will make suggestions to you that "no one is around to watch what you are doing and you're bored so why don't you do this or that". So you must try to keep yourself busy and in the company of others if possible. Try to be around family and close ones (Especially not Non mahrams). Find good company and stay in good company. The best company are those who lead you towards good in terms of this life and the next and not with those who may lead you in the wrong direction and path. Don't hang around with those girls/boys who talk a lot about sexual things and the opposite gender etc.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, then you must break off all contact. Never associate with other people having the same weaknesses. Don't think that the two of you will "quit together", especially not on something as dangerous as one's lower desires, as you never will. You must keep away from people like that. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken out of your mind for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be kept busy and occupied on other more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe or shower, then do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath or shower for longer than is necessary, just long enough to bathe or shower and then dry and dress. Then get out of the bathroom as soon as possible because we are advised in the Sunnah not to delay getting changed after a bath or being naked. We should dry ourselves and get into doing an act of worship.

5. Always try to sleep early. This is very important indeed. This problem is much more common in those who sleep late into the night. This is because the shayatheen are more prevalent in the nights and these are the times where one normally sits around watching TV, browsing internet and just sitting around idle. Therefore you must get into the habit of a good consistent early sleeping routine and pattern.

6. When in bed, then if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your private parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove your clothes. By the time you started to remove your protective clothing then you would have been able to sufficiently control your urges and thinking so that the temptation would leave you. Sleep on your sides and NOT on your front or back. It is forbidden to sleep on your stomach and it is Sunnah to sleep on your right side. Do Dua's and remember Allah until you fall asleep. Keep your phone far away from you. Leave it downstairs or somewhere it will be difficult to gain access to it. Do not keep TV or computers in your room. Store them somewhere else. Out of sight out of mind!

If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, then get out of bed and go into the kitchen and fix yourself a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is to divert your mind onto something else. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak. If these thoughts come to you in the middle of the night then get up and make Wudu and pray Tahajjud from 2 - 8 Raka'ah. Tahajjud is one of the best prayers we can pray to enable us to overcome our bad habits and addictions, as it enables us to be closer to Allah and develop Taqwa which will make us more aware of him throughout the day and night. It is a very important tool for us to be able to overcome this addiction as well as many other bad addictions and general sins throughout the day.

After Tahajjud make much Dua and beg of Allah and cry unto him to help increase you in Imaan (Faith) and to help strengthen you to be able to resist your desires and also to help you to get married (if you are not currently married), so that you may have a legitimate outlet to be able to fulfil your desires and even get rewarded for doing so. But when you make Dua then don't just make Dua about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more so. Make Dua for increase of your iman (faith), Make Dua for understanding of Islam and the Qur'an, Make Dua for your family and ALL Muslims especially the ones that are being oppressed, Pray for the sick and that we all unite as one. Keep the problem out of your mind by not mentioning it ever, not in conversation with others and not too much in your Dua's. Keep it out of your mind because if you keep mentioning it then it will stay in your mind!

7. Establish what your triggers are and write them down so that you can make a plan around how to tackle and get around such triggers. This will involve trial and error but make sure you learn from your mistakes each time and try not to repeat the same mistakes over and over. Also remember that shaythan is always planning against us, so why don't we plan against him and our lower desires? So establish what your triggers are and the occasions when your most likely to masturbate or touch yourself. When you have established that then you can make a tailored plan on what to do to avoid feeling temptations on those particular occasions.

8. Never watch any inappropriate images, videos and clips. Especially not pornographic material, whether on the TV, smart phone or computer. That also goes for reading inappropriate material, books etc. These images will end up being stored in your mind and they are they biggest triggers for those who are suffering from addiction to porn and Masturbation which are strongly linked. These things will keep feeding your problem and making you fantasize which will then lead to the act. Therefore you must restrict all forms of media. Stop watching all forms of media at least 1 hour before bed. This also helps with sleep as watching various forms of media negatively impacts upon sleep due to the blue light. Watching media late can also trigger your urges and desires, especially if you are sitting around idle. Keep your computer in a part of the house where others can also use it, if it means it will help you not to watch anything inappropriate. Also put on internet childsafe lock on all devices and do not have the password on you or make it very hard for you to access the password. Many internet companies nowadays put on childsafe locks on the internet as a default, so that the only way to remove it will be to contact them. Also be very mindful and selective about what you watch on the television. Most of what is on the TV nowadays is useless and a waste of time. It also increasingly contains a lot of inappropriate viewing and much of what may trigger urges and desires. So be a mindful consumer of all types of media!

9. Try not to read too much about your problem. Keep it out of mind as much as possible. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you will soon be free of the act inshaAllah.

10. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind as much as possible. Read good Islamic books, the life of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and his Seerah, the life after death. Or a good book about self improvement or about any other interesting topics. Make it a daily habit of reading at least one Juz (Chapter) of Qur'an with its meanings. If not then at least a page or two. Reading the Qur'an everyday with its meanings will bring countless blessings and rewards and bring you closer to Allah as well as keeping your mind occupied on the bigger picture and our purpose in life. It will also enable you to get to know Allah which is the greatest blessing we can hope for in this life. Not doing so will be a source of great regret in the Hereafter.

11. Fast. You may have tried it before and it didn't work but how can it work if you don't change your eating habits? Eat a little just satisfy your hunger so that your fasting will be much more effective to be able to help you restrict your sexual urges and desires. However over eating will have a negative impact upon your desires. Gluttony is never a good think. It can make you weak in other areas of your life too especially when it comes to your lower desires. The purpose of fasting for our health is also to enable us to eat less all other times to. So restrict the amount you eat before and especially after breaking your fast. Just break the fast with a date or two, water and maybe a little fruit. After a while then have a reasonably sized healthy and wholesome meal and you will feel the true benefits of fasting in restricting your urges.

12. Finally try your best to get married as soon as you possibly can if you are not currently married. Many of us delay our marriages unnecessarily thinking we don't have enough savings or not "ready" whatever that means. As soon as you feel the desire for intimacy then you are ready, its as simple as that. We give ourselves too many obstacles to marrying and if it is not us then it is our families putting the obstacles in the way. If our families are the main issue in delaying you getting married then you must emphasise to them the urgency of you getting married as soon as possible. Tell them of the benefits of getting married early and that it is a Sunnah as the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) recommended it, and it will also help to avoid haraam (Forbidden) relations and pre-marital relationships. Getting married earlier will help you to be able to eradicate this problem which means that you can indulge in your sexual urges and desires legitimately as well as receive reward for it. The main reason why there are so many people in haraam relationships out there is simply because they are delaying in getting married after beginning to feel the desire for intimacy. Many men also want to "play the field" before they get married then they wonder why they find it hard to stop doing haraam even during marriage.

Note: Many of those addicted to masturbation may continue to do so even during marriage. Marriage can certainly help to overcome this issue by providing a legitimate outlet for ones sexual urges and desires. However many may continue to masturbate along with having sexual relations with their partners or in the worst case scenario, masturbation and addiction to porn may also cause serious issues when it comes to intimacy with one's partner. This can even lead to jeopardising the marriage. So married people with such issues must get help immediately. Even if it means going to a therapist to help ascertain and establish the root of the problem. A lot of the times it can be linked to one's past or trauma's. Bad habits and addictions can be a "crutch" or distraction to other issues in one's life. Such a person must also go to a physician for help if necessary, especially if they are physically suffering from being able to maintain sexual relations with their partner. So if you are in such a situation then do not hesitate to get the help you need. There is absolutely no shame in getting help at all. However there is shame in not getting the necessary help especially if it is destroying your marriage and causing you misery in your life. If you have kids involved then do it for them. You are not powerless to do anything about it. It is just about taking action. Don't think about it too much just get the help you need. Not getting the help you need will not only jeopardise your health and marriage, but it will continue to keep you in a detrimental and vicious cycle of addiction, which will eventually ruin every other aspect of your life to, including your Deen, Health and Dunya!


May Allah enable us to overcome all of our harmful addictions and habits that are preventing us from being the best version of ourselves.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

How to overcome Masterbation

Haraam Fantasizing

by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (daamat barakaatuhum)

There is no shortage of complaints when it comes to giving up sins and the struggle which ensues between individuals and their nafs, as well as Shaytaan.

This battle is inevitably on-going – till our dying day. There is no other way out, except to show the courage and bravery that every Muslim does have – when it comes to Pleasing Allah Ta’ala.

Yet another widespread weakness is that of Haraam fantasizing. Young and old, married and unmarried – thousands upon thousands, succumb to their runaway imagination when it comes to fantasy world and this in turn leads to even graver sin.

Allah Ta’ala granted us the power of Imagination for a beautiful purpose; but most people today utilize this imagination in filthy thoughts. The following is actually drawn from my Malfoozaat. It is an extract from one of the kitaabs. It is a prescription which I have given to many who have complained of the same. Alhamdulillah, it has been a means of cure for many. May Allah Ta’ala make it a means of cure for all that have this ailment.

“Haraam fantasizing is the spiritual disease of almost every person. It is abuse of the great, wonderful and amazing gift of imagination.

Why did Allah Ta’ala give us this gift of imagination ?

The imagination has been given to us so that it may be used to ponder over the Qur`aan Sharif, which entails stories of past nations and verses upon verses of Jannat and Jahannum and accountability. This is imagination was to be used for the purpose of taking lesson and strengthening our Imaan. It was to be used as a catalyst towards ‘Aml’ (action).

The imagination was not given to us so that we may indulge our nafs in filthy thoughts.

One of the main reasons why both men and women have this problem plaguing them, is due to their indulgence in lustful gazing.

After having cast filthy gazes at ghair-mahareem , or watching porn movies or paging through porn magazines, or reading explicit romance novels, there is desire and craving for more. Since ‘more’ is generally not possible … since the person may be married, or the object of one’s desire is a film star or supermodel or a Miss Universe or Mr. Universe, and there is zero chance of meeting the person, the person tries to satisfy these shahawaat (desires) by fantasizing.

But fantasizing is not going to satisfy desire. It will only increase desire. The person’s sickness will increase. His physical health will inevitably also suffer.

When the desire to indulge in Haraam fantasizing comes into the heart, then take your imagination to the Day of Judgement; stand before Allah Ta’ala’s Seat of Judgement and begin accounting for all your actions in this world. Think of how you will account for and what you will say to Allah Ta’ala when all these filthy thoughts will be presented to you.

Allah Ta’ala states in the Qur`aan Sharif :

“WHEN THE SCROLLS ARE LAID OPEN.” [SURAH TAKWEER 81 :10]

“THIS OUR RECORD SPEAKS ABOUT YOU WITH TRUTH : FOR WE WERE WONT TO PUT ON RECORD ALL THAT YOU DID.” [SURAH JATHIYA 45 :29]

Even though Allah Ta’ala is All-Knowing and well aware of all our actions, He has established a law whereby every action and every detail of every action be recorded and thereafter presented to us on the Day of Reckoning – in favour of us or witness against us.

Otherwise take your imagination for Haj : Picture yourself at the Multazam, making Tawaaf, making Sa`ee; picture yourself at the Raudha Mubarak, conveying Salaam to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), or take your imagination to your Qabr and the events which unfold in the grave after death. …Insha-Allah, this will a means of defeating nafs and Shaytaan as well as obliterating a filthy habit.

If you find yourself still weak against the demands of nafs and whisperings of Shaytaan, then immediately occupy yourself in that which is ‘mubaah’ (permissible). Begin conversation with your parents, or with brothers and sisters, or phone a good, pious friend, or listen to some Qiraat or Deeni talk… Occupy yourself in that which is Halaal and mubaah; otherwise nafs will ravage your heart and destroy your peace of mind and lead you to even suicidal tendencies.

Added to this, consider filthy thoughts as pigs. Just as we show aversion and absolute disgust on seeing a pig, so should we be disgusted with dirty thoughts – which fall in the same category as pigs. Both are Haraam (forbidden).

Furthermore, Haraam fantasizing leads to the evil habit of self-gratification, because there is no Halaal avenue to satisfy one’s desires. This is a rather disastrous weakness amongst the youth and one should ponder over the various harms which are too many, and these harms are spiritual, physical and psychological harms.

Satisfying one’s desires by masturbating is not permissible even if a person does not have the means to marry. Allah Ta’ala mentions that those who do not find the means to marry should remain chaste.

“And those who do not find the means to marry, should remain chaste until Allah gives them resources by His Grace.”

Remaining chaste is thus a Divine command which is compulsory to comply with – therefore we will find the Ahadith presenting prescriptions to remain chaste (lowering the gaze, fasting, etc.).

As a prescription, the following harms should be read and re-read if need be, until it is understood that the harms long term are not worth the gratification that comes with the sin.

Some Spiritual Harms :

1. Taufeeq of doing good deeds is taken away. The person is deprived of Tahajjud, of Tilawat of the Qur`aan Sharief, of associating with the pious, etc.
2. The person is deprived of knowledge and finds an aversion to people
3. The most dangerous is that the person will not be able to remain steadfast on Deen. (Allah Ta’ala protect).
4. Besides this, a person who satisfies his evil desires in this manner is cursed according to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

Some Physical harms :

The following physical harms have been recorded by highly qualified Hakims, the equivalent of specialist doctors.

1. The bladder becomes weak and this leads to problems in respect to taharah – Wudhu/ salaah and other Ibaadah. There are many that are suffering with involuntary urinary and seminal discharges due to the indulgence in this sin, and they write mentioning the difficulties that are thereafter encountered.
2. It also weakens the nerves.
3. It causes some limbs like the legs to shake and shiver.
4. It causes pain in the vertebra column, the spinal column from which semen is ejaculated. This pain creates crookedness and twisting in the back.
5. It creates weakness in the brain and weakness of memory.
6. It weakens the sight and reduces the normal limit of vision.
7. It causes a person to become old before time.
8. It decreases the natural resistence of the body.
9. It causes harm to the four principle organs in the body : the heart, brain, liver and stomach.
10. It weakens the fine nerves and veins of the sexual organs, resulting in impotency.
11. Excessive loss of semen is in reality excessive loss of blood. In later years, it can be that such a person will not have the ability to father any children.
12. It causes an excessive loss of sperm by way of nocturnal emission (wet dreams).

Some Psychological Harms :

It leads to

1. agitation and irritation over trivial matters,
2. lack of confidence,
3. disinterest in studying
4. and desire for isolation.

Much more can be stated in respect to the harms of this sin. So contemplating the above, should give every incentive to give up the sin. No one would like to contend with any one of the above problems and yet just one evil deed and the person has invited waves of calamities upon himself.

If evil desires still get the better, then Nikah is a simple solution. Where the evil desires are so difficult to suppress that the person engages in Haraam then Shariah says that it is Fardh for the person to marry. This is, of course, for those who the ability.

Source: http://www.yunuspatel.co.za/articles-haraam-fantasizing.php

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

This is a brilliant E book on how to overcome Masterbation:

How and why stop Masterbation - An Islamic Solution

http://www.scribd.com/doc/17382181/How-and-Why-Stop-MasturbationAn-Islamic-Solution

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

Masturbation: A Major Sin

By Arif Billah Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Mohammad Akhtar Sahab db

1. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said, “The one who marries their hand is accursed.” That person who masturbates them self has been cursed by Allah and His Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and on the Day of Judgment their hand will be pregnant.

2. It is a means of destroying ones’ life in this world and the Hereafter.

3. It diminishes ones’ health.

4. It is a major sin and if repentance is not made from a major sin, then the person will fall under the threat of being thrown into Hell.

5. This person is potentially not capable of marriage because their semen will become thin.

6. A person may develop many diseases, such as gonorrhea and chancrous, etc.

7. Due to this evil habit, eventually the person becomes involved in fornication or adultery.

8. This evil habit comes upon a person due to the curse of lustful glances. Since it is mentioned in the Qur’an that the person who guards their gaze will be able to guard their private parts, from this we can gauge that the person who casts lustful glances will not be able to guard their private parts. As a result, they lose control of them self.

9. The person becomes weak sexually and mentally meaning that they have memory loss, blood deficiency, their resolutions become weak, their heart becomes weak to such an extent that if a cat were to jump from one place to another this person’s heart would skip a beat or start beating faster as if a lion had just jumped in front of him.

10. The radiance and splendor from one’s face is depleted, dark circles start to form around the eyes and a strange curse befalls this person because this person is involved in a cursed action; they become pale, their eyes go inward, they start to have mood swings. As a result, their body, heart and mind go down a slippery slope towards destruction.

11. If a person does not quit early, then in their youth they develop of a disease of incontinence of bladder.

12. Due to undue hard stroking, the nerves, arteries and veins all tend to die out and blood doesn’t flow properly to that organ, due to which it may become limp and the person no longer has the ability to perform intercourse. They may develop impotence or erectile dysfunction, and thus they will face a great shame in front of their wife, society and the matter could even reach divorce.

13. Repeatedly ejaculating causing ones’ semen to become extremely thin, due to which one loses virility

14. Sometimes the mere rubbing against ones’ clothes or the mere thought of intercourse with ones’ wife may cause ejaculation. One’s organ may become crooked. It may grow in girth from the front and then towards the back due to which a person may not be fully capable of intercourse.

15. A persons’ memory becomes weak, they often experience headaches, due to minor strenuous activity; they may experience temporary blindness, cold sweats and anxiety.

16. Sometimes semen becomes uncontrollable causing ones’ mind to become weak, one to be disinclined and not interested in studying and whatever one learns, they are not able to retain it.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

Remedy for Masturbation

by Arif Billah Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Mohammad Akhtar Sahab db

1. The primary cure for ridding ones’ self of any evil is himmah, i.e. ones’ one determination. Without ones’ firm determination, there is no cure. Whenever ones’ nafs tries to involve a person in this particular sin then fight it off as if a person were to fight off an enemy that is after their life. Similarly, one should be as determined to save ones’ iman as they would be to save ones’ own life. They should be so determined that they must be willing to give up their life, but not commit sin. The day a person has this type of determination then this evil habit will leave. Also, one should try as much as possible not to be in seclusion.

2. One should ponder over this that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) is reported to have said, the paraphrased meaning of which is, one who masturbates is accursed.

3. Ponder over the shame that one would feel on the Day of Judgment, when this person will be raised and their hand will be pregnant in front of Allah and His Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam).

4. Ponder over all the harms mentioned in the earlier section.

5. Realize that this debasing act only amounts to a short-lived pleasure.

6. Allah is with us all the time.

7. Meditate over the fact that Allah is watching us all the time.

8. This evil habit is due to the curse of lustful glances. Therefore, one should not view any pornographic material and not even go close to pictures in the newspaper, on the internet, cable, television, VCR; DVD etc. to such an extent that one should even start avoiding emails, otherwise random thoughts will come into ones’ mind and will cause heat to develop in ones’ body leading the person to ultimately masturbate.

9. One should not be by them self rather they should be amongst pious friends.

10. One should be concerned to stay in the company of the righteous with the condition that they inform the righteous person of their condition and implement the instructions of the righteous person.

11. To consult ones’ spiritual guide and stipulate a financial penalty such that one feels pain in their heart. This penalty should be in the form of charity. It shows the expertise of the spiritual guide. One should also feel remorse as to how sad their spiritual guide would be.

12. One should be willing to give up their life, but not commit sin. This state of being can only be developed by being in the company of righteous people, therefore adopt the company of the righteous.

13. Guard ones’ gaze and watch over ones’ heart because mere consultation with ones’ spiritual guide and litanies and the company of the righteous is not sufficient. Therefore, one should implement all the advices one receives from their spiritual guide regarding guarding ones’ gaze and watching over ones’ heart.

14. If perchance a person happens to fall prey to this accursed act then each time a minimum of twenty supererogatory prayers should be prayed or such a large amount of charity should be given such that it becomes burdensome on ones’ nafs
​

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

Please read this brilliant article:

Was the Cowardly Lion Just Masturbating Too Much?

http://yourbrainonporn.com/was-the-cowardly-lion-just-masturbating-too-much

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

Suggestions to cure the habit of Masterbation:



1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allah's orders and fearing His punishment.

2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet's hadeeth.

3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet's hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.)... " 24.30-31

Allah's messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

5) Using one's available leisure time in worshipping Allah and increasing religious knowledge.

6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

8) Strengthening one's willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

9) Following the Prophet's aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible because fasting will temper one's sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one's promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one's oath to Allah. Also, note that medication to diminish one's sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one's sexual ability.

10) Trying to follow the Prophet's recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth: "Whoever seeks chastity Allah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allah.

13) Finally, Allah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah's forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.

And Allah knows what is best and most correct

Source: http://www.islamicweb.com/resources/masturbation.htm

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

re: How to overcome Masturbation

Watching pornography rewires the brain to a more juvenile state

https://neurosciencenews.com/neuroscience-pornography-brain-15354/

 

[MohamedAbuSaleh]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Asalamalikum W'Rahmatallah W'Barakato,

I just want to highlight one of the points mentioned above as I believe it to be one of the most important pieces of advice given.

4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet's hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):

 

[Shalehhudin]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

What a very helpful and inspiring guidance brother, thanks

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Don't underestimate how much good comes from quitting porn

I don't wanna mince words, my story's been heard before, trying to reverse years of habits etc... anyhoo just finished the 90 day challenge. Here's my experience; perhaps it will help you.

Lessons Learned

It can take years. Seriously it took me years and years of no progress to get where I am now. Of course this means that

You can't get discouraged. Period. End of story. If you feel like you're getting nowhere ignore that feeling. You're making progress regardless, promise

I don't think I would have been able to consider myself an adult if I hadn't at least done nofap 45 days straight. That sounds corny but I'm serious. The basic control over yourself, the ability to not make excuses: everything that makes a person an grown-up I got in no small part from this exercise. This all means that...

NoFap is in the top 10 of my best life decisions, probably top five. Again, it sounds corny but I can't underestimate how much good has come from this. I've been raised in one of those progressive environments where basically I learned "if it's hard and not directly hurting people you don't need to stop even if you don't like it." I thought that it just wasn't possible to stop fapping, and that I should just learn to live with it; I thought that for years. The first time I got a hot streak of three weeks I was floored. It was like finding out that you didn't really need to eat or breathe. It's one of the things that showed me that you really can take control of your life, even the things you think are unchangeable.

How I've Changed

become vegetarian
became vegan for over a summer (will likely go back)
gained five pounds of muscle (veggie gainz)
lost ten pounds of fat
family and girlfriend said I couldn't do any of that when I said I started
got a master's degree 3.88 GPA,
got my first academic paper published
Got a research position at one of the top 10 labs in my field that pays over $100,000/year (including benefits)

obviously a lot more than nofap that helped me accomplish all that but still it was a bizarrely large component and helping factor. Like way more important that I thought it would be.

So what now in my life?

I'm just getting started. I got a litany of stuff I wanna to do; martial arts to learn, concepts to study, careers to advance. The world is my oyster and I'm not even hitting my stride..

WIll I go back to fapping?

-I was mulling it over this morning then I fapped: 0/10 never again I'm done with this (I'm still gonna keep my badge up for a day or so as evidence for others before I reset)

So How does this relate to you?

Don't give up. If you relapse today, don't give up. If you relapse in ten days don't give up. You will win guaranteed if you don't give up
Nofap might not change everything but it will change something, and that something let me know that I could change everything if I tried.
You might have a different experience so take what I say for what it is: a single data point. Learning to think critically and in a disciplined fashion is one of the big things I learned over the course of this endeavor.
It was totally worth it for me, and I think it will be for you. If it doesn't what have you lost? A few days of fapping? No-one will miss that, at least I didn't.

Source: http://yourbrainonporn.com/dont-underestimate-how-much-good-comes-quitting

 

[Dawud1996]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Well we are all human, try not to think about it. That's what I do, read Quran, listen to lectures. Do it for Allah. In Jahannam there is going too be a special place for the fornicators and adulterers. There is a hadith that speaks about a well where the adulterers are tortured from time too time. They are hung with hooks from there private parts and their chest. And fire from beneath them rises and burns them again and again and again. The men and the women adulterers will have too drink and eat from there discharge, from theses people in hellfire from the back side and there front.

There is also a another hadith where Mohammad (SAW) talks about a valley in hellfire where all the adulterers and fornicators and those who commit riba will go. There will be scorpions and snakes that are the size of camels and cows and when they sting that person they feel the poison for a 1000 years.

May Allah (SWT) save us from punishment of hellfire.

 

[Abz2000]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

a hadith that changes a man's criticique and focus on women and turns it to himself, makes one really want to be better.

The Hadith of Um Zara – The *11 women*

Narrated ‘Aisha (Radi Allahu anha): Eleven women sat (at a place) and promised and contracted that they would not conceal anything of the news of their husbands.

The first one said, “My husband is like the meat of a lean weak camel which is kept on the top of a mountain which is neither easy to climb, nor is the meat fat, so that one might put up with the trouble of fetching it.”

The second one said, “I shall not relate my husband’s news, for I fear that I may not be able to finish his story, for if I describe him, I will mention all his defects and bad traits.”

The third one said, “My husband is a tall man; if I describe him (and he hears of that) he will divorce me, and if I keep quiet, he will neither divorce me nor treat me as a wife.”

The fourth one said, “My husband is a moderate person like the night of Tihama which is neither hot nor cold. I am neither afraid of him, nor am I discontented with him.”

The fifth one said,*“My husband, when entering (the house) is a leopard, and when going out, is a lion.*He does not ask about whatever is in the house.”

The sixth one said, “If my husband eats. he eats too much (leaving the dishes empty), and if he drinks he leaves nothing, and if he sleeps he sleeps alone (away from me) covered in garments and does not stretch his hands here and there so as to know how I fare (get along).”

The seventh one said, “My husband is a wrong-doer or weak and foolish. All the defects are present in him. He may injure your head or your body or may do both.”

The eighth one said,*“My husband is soft to touch like a rabbit and smells like a Zarnab*(a kind of good smelling grass).”

The ninth one said, “My husband is a tall generous man wearing a long strap for carrying his sword. His ashes are abundant and his house is near to the people who would easily consult him.”

The tenth one said,*“My husband is Malik, and what is Malik? Malik is greater than whatever I say about him.*(He is beyond and above all praises which can come to my mind). Most of his camels are kept at home (ready to be slaughtered for the guests) and only a few are taken to the pastures. When the camels hear the sound of the lute (or the tambourine) they realize that they are going to be slaughtered for the guests.”

The eleventh one said, “My husband is Abu Zar and what is Abu Zara (i.e., what should I say about him)? He has given me many ornaments and my ears are heavily loaded with them and my arms have become fat (i.e., I have become fat).*And he has pleased me, and I have become so happy that I feel proud of myself. He found me with my family who were mere owners of sheep and living in poverty, and brought me to a respected family having horses and camels and threshing and purifying grain . Whatever I say, he does not rebuke or insult me. When I sleep, I sleep till late in the morning, and when I drink water (or milk), I drink my fill.
The mother of Abu Zara and what may one say in praise of the mother of Abu Zara’? Her saddle bags were always full of provision and her house was spacious.
As for the son of Abu Zar, what may one say of the son of Abu Zar? His bed is as narrow as an unsheathed sword and an arm of a kid (of four months) satisfies his hunger.
As for the daughter of Abu Zar, she is obedient to her father and to her mother. She has a fat well-built body and that arouses the jealousy of her husband’s other wife.
As for the (maid) slave girl of Abu Zar, what may one say of the (maid) slavegirl of Abu Zar? She does not uncover our secrets but keeps them, and does not waste our provisions and does not leave the rubbish scattered everywhere in our house.”
The eleventh lady added, “One day it so happened that Abu Zar went out at the time when the milk was being milked from the animals, and he saw a woman who had two sons like two leopards playing with her two breasts. (On seeing her) he divorced me and married her. Thereafter I married a noble man who used to ride a fast tireless horse and keep a spear in his hand. He gave me many things, and also a pair of every kind of livestock and said, ‘Eat (of this), O Um Zar, and give provision to your relatives.” She added, “Yet, all those things which my second husband gave me could not fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar’s.”

‘Aisha then said: Allah’s Apostle said to me, “I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife Um Zara.”

Most of you can move in and out of all those softwares or stick with the best (as long as you've got the correct hardware), the Messenger of Allah pbuh chose well, so let us choose well

 

[Snow]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

An interesting note: only males have commented in this thread haha.

 

[~Zaria~]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

10 Free Tools to Filter and Block Porn on the Internet​

SEE ALSO: https://www.raymond.cc/blog/how-to-block-pornographic-websites-without-spending-money-on-software/


A computer with an Internet connection is able to expose your children to everything both good and bad that is on the world wide web unless you have some kind of parental control software installed to automatically filter out bad or questionable websites such as pornography, violence, gambling and etc. Most of the time, software that can block porn uses two methods to detect bad websites which is through keywords and a blocklist. Most of the time the keywords don’t really need to be updated other than periodically adding new keywords. As for a blocklist, it requires constant maintenance which is why some of the popular parental control software such as NetNanny and CyberPatrol are subscription based software and not a one time payment for a lifetime license.

These dangerous websites not only pollute the young minds but they are also a common source for malware spreading. Browsing through free porn sites may get you infected by rogueware that tries to trick you into thinking that your computer is infected so you’ll buy their fake antivirus software to remove them or ransomware that locks up your computer and only will unlock upon payment. To automatically block pornography websites, here are 10 free tools. If you want to try and block porn and other questionable content at a lower level,blocking via DNS is another option.


1. PicBlock
PicBlock is an innovative porn blocking tool where it uses keywords and image detection algorithm to recognize the availability of nudity on the website or even on hard drive and then blocks it. When your child visits any website, PicBlock will first scan for any sexually explicit keywords on the URL and webpage. The page will be blocked if there are found keywords but if none, it uses a secondary method which is scanning the images on the webpage for possible nudity and then blurring it by pixelating the photo.


PicBlock comes with self defense and invisibility feature. In at Settings, you can find the ability to password protect the program and also to run it in silent mode where only a shortcut key can launch the settings window.


PicBlock clams to be able to detect pornographic images on the hard drive as well but unfortunately it doesn’t work very well in Windows 7. The blocked images doesn’t show up as thumbnail, but can still be opened with an image viewer. Moreover there are periodic crashes on Explorer and Task Manager. The more tech savvy child may be able to bypass PicBlock by simply terminating the process with Task Manager or just uninstall it.
Download PicBlock

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2. BlockSmart
BlockSmart is a simple to use yet powerful software to block inappropriate websites on computer. When you try to access a blocked website, your web browser will show a red stop sign with an optional login to add the site to the allowed list.


This program is tied to your BlockSmart online account where you will be prompted to create one during installation. Even the settings area that you can select the category of website to block is at their website as well. It is possible to add custom websites to the block or allow list.


We used the word powerful because a valid password is required to disable blocking, exit or uninstall. It is also not possible to kill the process because doing that will automatically relaunch the program. However there is a huge drawback where BlockSmart only works on Internet Explorer while other web browsers has no effect. We also experienced some error popups during Windows startup.
Download BlockSmart

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3. Blue Coat K9 Web Protection

K9 Web Protection by Blue Coat is one of the most popular free software to block porn and other unwanted contents on the Internet. It is basically a local web filter that runs on port 2572 that scans for every URL that you visit on your web browser and taking necessary actions based on the rules. When you access a website that belongs to a blocked category, an alert page will be loaded instead with the option of allowing this site or category if you know the password.


Although K9 Web Protection installer is only 1.9MB in size, but it is packed with features such as selecting the categories to block, implementing time restrictions, always allow and block list, URL keywords and forcing safe search option in search engines. You can also view what URLs that has been visited so you know what websites your children are visiting.


Because K9 Web Protection runs as a local filter, it will work on any web browsers. It runs without any tray icon at the notification area and it is not possible to terminate the k9filter.exe using Task Manager. Disabling or uninstalling the program will require a valid password. If you forget the password, there is an option at the uninstaller to send a temporary password to your email that is registered with your protection license. The best part is, even if your child somehow knew the password and uninstalled the program from their computer, you will receive an email notification informing you about it.
Download Blue Coat K9 Web Protection

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4. Microsoft Family Safety

Family Safety is a free parental control software that is part of Windows Essentials by Microsoft. It is a very powerful program that is tightly integrated with Windows and offers additional features that are not commonly found on other porn blocking software. Accessing a blocked page will show that “this page is blocked” message together with the option to email you request and ask in person.


To use and configure Windows Live Family Safety, you must first login with a Hotmail/Live/Outlook account and then you get to select the user account in Windows to monitor. In order to use most of the features in Family Safety, you will need to create a standard user account and not use one that belongs to the administrators group. The reason is they will be restricted from uninstalling Family Safety or force terminate the process. At the Family Safety website, you get to customize the web filtering levels, block file downloads, custom allow and block list, activity reporting, time limits, game and app restrictions.


Do take note that if you only want to install the Family Safety, make sure you select “Choose the programs you want to install” option and only tick the checkbox for Family Safety or else all the Windows Essentials program will be installed. Overall, Family Safety is a very nice parental control software that’s free but the initial configuration may not be easy for basic users.

Download Family Safety

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5. Qustodio

Other than just filtering bad websites, Qustodio parental control software comes with an additional capability of monitoring your children’s social interactions, listing searches, apps usage and web activity.


Qustodio configuration is done on the web and the settings are automatically sync to the computer. By logging in to the family protection portal, you get to view the activity summary and timeline, and configure the rules & settings. You can either select block, allow or monitor on the website categories, adding custom exceptions, blocking unknown websites that cannot be categorized, and also enforcing safe search. You can also enable scheduling to set a limit for your child to use the Internet. It has strong protection against tampering where even advanced users won’t be able to bypass the filtering and limits.


During installation, it will ask to install a safety toolbar and changing your default search provider. You can uncheck both of the options then click Accept and Install button because Qustodio does not need both of that to function. Weirdly, you also have the option to hide Qustodio from computer during installation but we could not find a way to re-enable that option when the program is installed.

Download Qustodio


6. Kurupira WebFilter

Kurupira WebFilter is one of the free anti porn software that comes with a good amount of features which makes it very configurable. Other than just blocking bad websites and also applications, it can also block instant messengers such as Google Talk, Windows Live Messenger and also social networking websites such as Facebook, Twitter and etc. It can also automatically take screenshots in interval and set time limits. If you go to the Settings, you can find email notification options where you can be notified when a website or application has been blocked.


One of the feature that we really liked is the application exception where an application added to the list will be ignored by Kurupira WebFilter. Normally an anti pornography software only has an on or off switch where you either turn it on, or completely off. You can probably use a portable version of Firefox so it does not intervene with the settings.

Take note during installation where an option will be selected by default to change your web browser’s homepage to Kurupira’s. Kurupira WebFilter does have some tampering system where the filtering system will still continue to function even after terminated the process, password protection and enabling the stealth mode to hide the tray icon. The only drawback is the software can be easily uninstalled without any restriction which makes it very easy to bypass.

Download Kurupira WebFilter

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7. netCheckPost


netCheckPost may be your choice if you are looking for a really easy to use software that will simply block porn websites. After installing the program, there is no settings to configure the program and you can only enable or disable the filtering by right clicking on the tray icon at the notification area. You are required to set a master password during installation and it is required if you want to disable or uninstall the program. Terminating the process will still continue to block bad websites.

Download netCheckPost

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8. WebPatrol

The free edition of WebPatrol is like the smaller brother of the PRO version that comes only with website and application filtering and time controls. As for the PRO version, it cost $29.95 and it is a full fledged parental control software that comes with keylogger and screenshot capturing that may be a little intrusive. Unlike most of the anti porn software, WebPatrol does not show the user that they are accessing a blocked website and simply shows a white blank web page. There are 7 banned categories and also custom banned or allowed websites. Application filtering allows you to prohibit running of web browser or chat programs and even custom list.


WebPatrol has some characteristics of a powerful invisible keylogger because it can only be uninstalled from the program’s menubar (File > Uninstall…). It also supports custom hotkeys to launch the user interface or from the RUN window. WebPatrol would be perfect if the filtering still works even after terminating the cprotect.exe process from task manager.

Download WebPatrol

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9. Drainware Parental Control

Drainware PC is a free and open source parental control software that is hosted on SourceForge. It acts as a local proxy server where the web browsers are automatically configured to route the connections to a localhost proxy address and the proxy options are disabled from being changed or tampered. You can block websites based from a list of categories, apply black and white list, and also control the file extensions that you want to block.


The filtering will only work if the web browser is set to use the localhost proxy and major web browsers such as Firefox, Internet Explorer, Safari and Chrome works fine except for Opera. In fact it is easy to bypass Drainware PC’s restriction by using a portable version of Firefox and set the connection settings to no proxy. You should also refrain from using Drainware PC is your computer gets the Internet connection from a proxy server because the software overwrites the connection settings. Accessing to any of the options requires a valid password but there is a flaw where it can be easily uninstalled without a password by running “Drainware PC Uninstaller.exe” file located at the C:drainware hidden folder. Out all 10 anti porn software, Drainware installation file is the largest at nearly 70MB in size.

Download Drainware Parental Control

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10. Stop P-O-R-N

Stop P-O-R-N is a slightly stricter parental control software that simply terminates the web browser when it detects a blocked website being loaded on the web browser. Other than that, accessing the program’s folder, or Windows utilities such as regedit and task manager will be terminated as well. Other than just stopping porn, it can also stop file sharing and chatting programs from running. There are three protection levels to select at the options and it also comes with a simple keylogger.


By default, Stop P-O-R-N is installed in public user’s documents folder and it comes with a “security measure” feature where it will try to prevent from being tampered. For example, the program will automatically terminate Windows Task Manager or Registry Editor when it is launched. Even if you try to access the program’s folder that is installed in the Document’s folder, the explorer will be closed as well. If you find this security feature a little too annoying, it can be disabled in the configuration options by checking the “Disable Security Measures” checkbox. A simple way to bypass Stop P-O-R-N is to use the taskkill command in command prompt to end the it.exe and halth.exe processes.

Download Stop P-O-R-N

Additional Note: We tested Norton Family by Symantec and it is very unstable because we couldn’t save the settings and it constantly prompts us to login even though we are very sure that we entered the correct parents login credentials. We also did not include AOL Parental Controls because it asks for a credit card to verify as a verification that we are over the age of18.


Source: islaaminfo.com

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[Kori Harpoon]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Everyone is going to accept their natural feelings. Yes in a lot Religions Masturbation is a sin but keep in mind you feel that because that is something people do feel. I will not say embrace it nor with I say fight it but keep in mind just because you are in the mood and your wife or husband isn't home yet doesn't mean the world will come to an end if you give in. It's all about human feelings. Feelings you were given.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Everyone is going to accept their natural feelings. Yes in a lot Religions Masturbation is a sin but keep in mind you feel that because that is something people do feel. I will not say embrace it nor with I say fight it but keep in mind just because you are in the mood and your wife or husband isn't home yet doesn't mean the world will come to an end if you give in. It's all about human feelings. Feelings you were given.

If we lived our lives "giving in" to our feelings and desires then there would be much chaos and misery in this world. It is in our nature to have carnal desires, does that mean we should just "give in" to such desires and sexual lusts where ever we may be? So if we feel like committing adultery and fornication then we should just do so because we "feel it and we should not give in"?

Islam acknowledges the innate carnal desires of man and in turn teaches us to reign in our desires and to fulfill them in a legitamate manner with our permissable partners in marriage. Otherwise we would fulfill such lusts and desires with anyone and everyone just because we "feel it" and "give in" to our desires and lusts.

In Islam we are actually rewarded by Allah for fulfilling our desires in a legitamate manner with our partners. We do not act like animals do in giving into our lusts and desires in every opportunity. Islam teaches us to be patient and resist our desires. It teaches us to be modest. “Every faith has an innate character. The character of Islam is modesty" (Al-Muwatta, Volume 47, Hadith 9.)

There are scientific evidences for the harmful effects of masturbation, kindly look at these,

Bosland MC. The etiopathogenesis of prostatic cancer with special reference to environmental factors. Advances in Cancer Research 1988;51:1–106.

(Brody&Costa, 2009; Das, Parish,&Laumann, 2009; Gerressu, Mercer,Graham, Wellings,&Johnson, 2008; Lau,Wang, Cheng, & Yang, 2005; Nutter & Condron, 1985). Masturbation frequency is so often associated with impaired sexual function in men.

Masturbation, oral sex, and anal sex predictors of less satisfaction in relationships: Brody S, Costa RM. Satisfaction (sexual, life, relationship, and mental health) is associated directly with penile-vaginal intercourse but inversely with other sexual behavior frequencies. The journal of sexual medicine 2009;6:1947–54.

Das A. Less happiness: Masturbation in the United States. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy 2007;33:301–17.

Masturbation associated with greater prostate specific antigen levels and prostate abnormalities
Corona G, Ricca V, Boddi V, Bandini E, Lotti F, Fisher AD, Sforza A, Forti G, Mannucci E, Maggi M. Autoeroticism, mental health, and organic disturbances in patients with erectile dysfunction. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2010;7:182–91.

There are many more scientific evidences ointing to the physical and psychological harms of masterbation. On top of that it is very spiritually harmful.

 

[drac16]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Develop mental images that overpower the impure images. Go through the scriptures and find something that sticks out to you. You may be inspired by something different than what I am, but you need to find out which ones they are. The most inspiring image that I can set my mind on is prophet Joseph [peace be upon him] at the bottom of that well. When I've got pictures of a woman in my mind, I deeply think about Joseph in the well and it overpowers pretty much every impure image that attacks me.

Try to think of pure images, so as to fight off the impure ones. Make progress.

 

[footy_craze]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation

Easiest way is to use the washroom or to take a cold shower.

The desires will go away until next time and REPEAT.

 

[Serinity]

Re: How to overcome Masturbation



Stop thinking about what triggers you wanting to masturbate. Resist the urges, try to think of something else. Whenever the thoughts come, think of some very abstract thoughts like you flying around and stuff. Prevent your thoughts drifting away, at all cost.

And Allah :swt: knows best.