hurt n depressed

  • Thread starter Thread starter anonymous
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 31
  • Views Views 5K
^ may Allah reward you subhanAllah, we need more like you on this forum


so it appears in this case the husband/father should get lost.

i think?
 
assalamu alaykum, I'm so sorry this happened to you sis. May Allah protect you from the evil of men. I pray this won't happen again. It seems it was a one-off, and inshaAllah, your father has felt fear of Allah in his heart to commit this horrendous act again. But as well as keeping your distance from him, you have to try to build a closer relationship with your sisters. Perhaps your father got brave in thinking that you won't tell anyone because you are not close to your mother and siblings. Try to build closeness with your sisters especially. God forbid they too have been through such an ordeal, but if they have, when confronted, your mother will have to believe it.

Also seek help for yourself sis. Confide in your GP. You don't have to name your abuser. Abuse can leave scars which as one bro said can affect you throughout adulthood. Please do seek counselling sis. It will help you expel the hurt and anger you are holding inside. If you face it alone, there might be times you think you have gotten over it, but just when you think you have, something may trigger it off again. I have experienced this sis. Therefore I urge you to get help. Please... Hopefully it will also give you the courage to confide in your mother, and God forbid, to stop it if it looks as if it will happen again. May Allah heal you. Ameen.

:wa:
 
salams...

i think the problem she is having a hard time to show proof of what her father has done to her. probably because her father has a good reputation with the family. and everyone probably love n respects her father. and she must be afraid to tell anyone afraid that her family will go against her.
 
Salaam, To stop the issue from escalating you must inform the police or someone you can trust. Who's to say he wont do it again to someone else? Protect yourself and others by reporting this incident as soon as possible sister.
 
edit. sorry my phone is having technical difficulty
 
Last edited:
Salaamu alaikum sis.

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I cannot even imagine the emotions you are feeling.
I hope your father has not done this to your sisters as well. May Allah protect you all. Ameen.

I would advise you to tell your mother if that is at all possible. I know you say that you two are not that close but she is still your mother and I imagine she would want to know this and protect her daughters.
Guard yourself carefully sis. Put your trust in Allah and have patience.
 
Poor poor darling....

Tell anyone responsible in your vicinity and feel the burden lift from your shoulders. If you do nothing about this, Allah will ask you why you allowed this man to harm you and let him walk free. If you tell someone, your dad will realise he cant just do that and roam around like nothing happened. He may do it to your sisters one day or already may be doing it. Your father is clearly mentally unhealthy and needs help. If you do nothing, no one can fix him.

Remember, a man who can do such things to his own daughter can easily do them to a neighbours daughter or even a stranger.

Don't wait for time to fix this one. It's not going to happen. You need to fix it and you can only do so by making this known to whomever you see fit to make a change.

Peace.

Sevgi.
 
Salam everyone,
Jazak Umullah Khairan, Thank you very very much for everyone’s replies.They have all helped me so much! May Allah reward all of you!

I have one sister (i must have mistyped it wrong in my first post, sorry). it’s really hard, how am i supposed to approach my mum and tell her.
it happened about a year ago, twice, and then nothing happened except early this year, but not as much as before (only kissed me quickly) (i’m really sorry if this offends anyone in any way). nothing since then.

i am still dutiful to my father, and i am not rude to him (well, sometimes when I’m angry, i might get a bit carried away when im arguing – I am 17) if i don’t tell anyone, would i be asked about this on Judgement Day and get punished?

i try to forget it and most of the time, i can, but then sometimes, it’s like when i think or read or whatever, it suddenly comes back in mind and i shudder and feel sick. i feel really uncomfortable talking to anyone about it, i won’t be able to tell my friends.

Your replies have been so supporting, i hope my relationship with Allah strengthens, im just really scared im going to get punished for this. it really is hard to try to let it out to my mum, how do you say it, its too complicated. My mum would most probably believe me, but i cant judge her actions until i actually do tell her, which seems like its not going to happen
 
if I was you I'd tell someone cos I can't see him stopping without any opposition, if you don't speak out he's just going to carry on I think cos he doesn't see you objecting.

you need to tell someone. try your sister, you could tell ur mum in a letter maybe.
 
anonymous said:
Salam everyone,
Jazak Umullah Khairan, Thank you very very much for everyone’s replies.They have all helped me so much! May Allah reward all of you!

I have one sister (i must have mistyped it wrong in my first post, sorry). it’s really hard, how am i supposed to approach my mum and tell her.
it happened about a year ago, twice, and then nothing happened except early this year, but not as much as before (only kissed me quickly) (i’m really sorry if this offends anyone in any way). nothing since then.

i am still dutiful to my father, and i am not rude to him (well, sometimes when I’m angry, i might get a bit carried away when im arguing – I am 17) if i don’t tell anyone, would i be asked about this on Judgement Day and get punished?

i try to forget it and most of the time, i can, but then sometimes, it’s like when i think or read or whatever, it suddenly comes back in mind and i shudder and feel sick. i feel really uncomfortable talking to anyone about it, i won’t be able to tell my friends.

Your replies have been so supporting, i hope my relationship with Allah strengthens, im just really scared im going to get punished for this. it really is hard to try to let it out to my mum, how do you say it, its too complicated. My mum would most probably believe me, but i cant judge her actions until i actually do tell her, which seems like its not going to happen
Click to expand...

Darling,

You wont be judged in the hereafter for what your father did. But if your father moves on to do such things to others or to your sister because you did not do anything to stop this evil act, you may be asked in the hereafter by god. You are now witness to haram and evil. You must do something to stop it and there really is a lot you can do.

You do not want your mum to believe you. Remember that. You need someone who can change the situation. You cannot protect or feel sorry for your father because he needs help. You will do a greater favour to him if you fix him coz then he may repent and have a chance at saving his hereafter.

On that note, I recommend that you dont tell your mum directly. If your mum has a bestfriend or a sister or something, tell her. I know this is hard but once the ball starts rolling you will feel the weight off your shoulders. This is not your responsibility. The elders must figure out what to do and the biggest risk is that you will tell your mum and even though she believes you, she wont do anything about it. This isnt coz she is a bad mother...its the same reason why you cant tell anyone. It is very easy for families to sweep things under the rug and ignore them because no one wants to ruin their comfort and order and no one wants to deal with something that isnt out in the open. Im sure it will turn into "if he does it again..." or "next time im gna do something". If you get an external party involved, your mum will be compelled to change the situation and will be obliged to take action because this really is an atrocious situation. Yes, he has only done it three or so times but how many times is bad enough? You must make sure that he gets help.

Your world isnt going crumble around you if you make this known to responsible people; it is going to heal itself so that you may find warmth in your own home.

May Allah give all young women and men in all situations the courage to stand up and act. Amin.
 
Last edited:
I am crying right now:cry:.....not kidding....I am truly , truly sorry you have had to experience this:cry:

If Allah would only take my life in trade for your happiness, and for your sorow to fade into oblivion..Amen
 
anonymous said:
Salam everyone,
Jazak Umullah Khairan, Thank you very very much for everyone’s replies.They have all helped me so much! May Allah reward all of you!

I have one sister (i must have mistyped it wrong in my first post, sorry). it’s really hard, how am i supposed to approach my mum and tell her.
it happened about a year ago, twice, and then nothing happened except early this year, but not as much as before (only kissed me quickly) (i’m really sorry if this offends anyone in any way). nothing since then.

i am still dutiful to my father, and i am not rude to him (well, sometimes when I’m angry, i might get a bit carried away when im arguing – I am 17) if i don’t tell anyone, would i be asked about this on Judgement Day and get punished?

i try to forget it and most of the time, i can, but then sometimes, it’s like when i think or read or whatever, it suddenly comes back in mind and i shudder and feel sick. i feel really uncomfortable talking to anyone about it, i won’t be able to tell my friends.

Your replies have been so supporting, i hope my relationship with Allah strengthens, im just really scared im going to get punished for this. it really is hard to try to let it out to my mum, how do you say it, its too complicated. My mum would most probably believe me, but i cant judge her actions until i actually do tell her, which seems like its not going to happen
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, My sister this is a very difficult situation and naturally many of us will have reacted in outrage and disgust at what you have experienced and gone through and may have made reactionary statements but i would urge you to consult a learned, experienced and reliable scholar. They would know best what you should do in your particular situation because this is a very serious issue and none of us can possibly tell you the best answer as we are just lay people.

Consult a scholar immediatley and if you need help in finding one then i can try and locate one for you in your town its upto you but whatever you do ask of Allah constantly and know that Allah hears all of your prayers and he wants you closer to him so make an even closer connection to Allah and all the comfort and solace your heart needs you will find with Allah the most kind and compassionate!
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top