husband openly chats to women on a messenger and thinks there's nothing wrong

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my husband openly chats to women on a messenger, opening their cams etc and does not hide it. if i catch him and ask to shut it down he says you can look read etc but i am not interested. is it a good enough reason for divorce? he says it helps to relieve stress and he has no interest in those women, all he cares is our family etc... i said many times i don't like it, don't approve of it and told him to stop. he said all men do it, but most hide it and their wives don't know and men can do it but women are not allowed. surely islam does not approve of it, does it?

i am at the point of leaving and going back to where i come from (non asian country, christian as well) but the thought of uprooting my children (4 and 2) from nurseries, and their comfortable lives makes me cringe as it is very unfair on them.
 
and men can do it but women are not allowed.
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ask him if hes talking to other men because if men can do it but women cant then who the hell is he talking to? and no all men do not do that

You leaving him is upto you but i suggest you speak to someone more learned about this rather than take advice from us.
 
:sl: Sis i have the same problem. When i ask him to stop we only start to argue........................ If you have tried with all your heart to stop him, then if you have the strength and patience then ignore it. You have expalined to him it is Haraam and he still continues this behaviour..........you have done the right thing so now just leave him to it it's his sin.

Secondly sis he may be chatting to these stupid women on the net but at least he is at home with you and not out........... so this is also a blessing. Try to think positive. Ignore him. Tell him one last time how you feel then ignore him.

I sincerely wish you the best because i have been there tooo:sunny::w:
 
It is unfair to the children, I cannot imagine what it would be like for them. But this is an unfair and unjust act on your husband's part. My only advice would probably go to a Muslim family counselor...?
 
yusuf18 said:
personaly its just a minor issue allhu alam
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I fail to see how a man openly video-chatting with strange women on the Internet in front of his wife is a minor issue.

As to advice - I agree with Brother Mujahid.
 
yusuf18 said:
personaly its just a minor issue allhu alam
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It's these minor issues that later become an uncontrollable disaster. Not saying this one has or hasn't the potential, but it should be tended to if the wife has a problem with it.
 
Muezzin said:
If you were married and your wife was video-chatting with strange men, would you feel it was a minor issue?
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i will divorce her kalass and you know what at the end of the day she will be humilated if she goes on cam for strange guys women always do sadly
 
yusuf18 said:
personaly its just a minor issue allhu alam
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Akhi how can you say that this is a minor issue? its a very serious issue!

To the sister who opened this thread, I don't have much advice to give atm, but do Dua to Allah swt to help your husband realise what hes doing is wrong, i hope things ease for you inshallah sister. Ill rememer you in my dua Inshallah! :thumbs_up
 
This is definately not a minor issue. This is how it all starts. First talk, then touch then bla bla bla.

1 beer doesn't get some1 drunk but many does. Similarly this is a gateway to sin and that itself is sin too.
 
nebula said:
Akhi how can you say that this is a minor issue? its a very serious issue!

To the sister who opened this thread, I don't have much advice to give atm, but do Dua to Allah swt to help your husband realise what hes doing is wrong, i hope things ease for you inshallah sister. Ill rememer you in my dua Inshallah! :thumbs_up
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i mean if it such a big deal why dont the husband and wife go their seprate ways
 
yusuf18 said:
i will divorce her kalass
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And Islamically, you would be within your rights to.

Just as a woman whose husband is video-chatting to strange women on the Internet against the wife's wishes would be.

It is not a minor issue at all, because it can end a marriage.
 
I don't know about everyone else, but personally I find the idea of him flaunting it worse than whatever it is he's doing.. I mean, if you know you're doing something wrong, you at least try to hide it, especially from someone like your wife...:?
 
I don't know how your husband could say it's haraam for women to do but not men, maybe you would like to point out the following ayah to him :)

“And tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest…And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent….”(Holy Qur'an: Chapter 24, Verses 30-31)
 
Also all men don't do it, for a number of reasons, but the most common 1 is, they would HATE it, if their wifes were to do the same to them.

And as for it relieving stress, tell him it is better to find a halal way to relieve stress like reading or listening to Qur'an recitation or islamic lectures rather than looking at women it's haraam for him to look at.
 
^Exactly like the brother said, if it really is to relieve stress, there's plenty of other harmless and in fact beneficial things he could do, and they don't even neccessarily have to be Islamic. He could do some sort of sport, take up sqash or swimming, for example.
 

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