Hw to het through to her?

Marina-Aisha

Marina-Aisha

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Okay I met this girl on one my Islamic forums anyways she isn't sure bout islam and she keeps saying that muslim men are abusive is that true?I know in the Quran it says that ushouldnt beat ur wife but keeps saying Arab world lots husbands r abusive.
 
:sl:

My wife had a bad past, her ex-boyfriend treated her very bad. I know it because she was my close friend. Finaly she could left her ex-boyfriend, and we made a promise to marry each other. But she asked me "Will you promise, you will not abuse me?", I told her "I promise". We have been married almost 18 years, and I still keep my promise until now.

Are Muslim husbands abusive?. There's no abusive husband in my big family.

If I beat my wife, I am sure, her brothers would beat me too. But not this factor that made me never beat my wife. Long time before I married, people around me taught me "Women are weak creature, they are not strong like us. If you are a gentleman, do not ever beat your wife. If you want to beat, just beat a muscular thug, that's the right rival for you".

There are two factors that made me never beat my wife. First, I love her. Second, like other men, I want to be a gentleman.

But I will not deny, there are abusive Muslim husbands, even there are areas with many of Muslim husband there, are abusive. But actually this is because culture, not because Islam. In their culture, gentlemen are men who can make their wives afraid to them. Of course, they will not hesitate to beat their wives.
 
Thank you for ur fast reply I know that not everyone is like that. I kind hard to talk to her now, she doesn't trust Muslims and she thinks I'm " in danger" but I know my husband better then I know myself and I know he wouldn't hurt me or our children. She doesn't seem to get that so I have to say I can no longer talk to her. Thanx again Salam.
 
I am always amazed at the mentality of people like the girl you mentioned sis Marina. Do they not see the number of attacks on women by non muslim men? Are they really unaware of the safe houses set up in non muslim communities to give refuge to women suffering from domestic violence - not to mention injunction laws? Have they never looked at the statistics of rape and murder against women by the hands of non muslim men? If they are really so blind as to think that only muslim men are guilty of such crimes, then let them be. But first do ask them if Islam promotes violence against women then why are more women coming to Islam than men.
 
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That's the thing I quoted lots of verses in the quran but she didn't care. She just keep going on and on bout hw the millions of incidents of domestic violence towards women in the islamic world..
 
Dont waste your time on her and enjoy your life :statisfie
 
Men who are abusive to their wives are cowards outside of the home, so to feed their 'macho' tank, they beat their wives in order to make themselves feel like they're the 'man'.

Let her know abusive people are everywhere in the world, both Muslim and Non-Muslim, the only thing is, Muslim men who abuse their wives physically, try and justify this in the name of 'Islam', when in fact Islam is the only religion in the world which gives women such a high status.

I'll try and get round to posting some ahadith and ayats which show the high status women have in our religion.
 
Dying Rose said:
Do they not see the number of attacks on women by non muslim men?
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That is very true - in every part of the world women are treated badly and it is wrong to say it just happens because the man is Muslim. There are many countries where women do not earn the same amount of money for the same position as a man does! Isn't this violence against women although not physical! How many countries in conflict who use women as a tool of war? What about women all over the world who are forced into prostitution or what about how the media exploit women? And then of course domestic abuse is everywhere! http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf




 
I know Babe, it's just I thought I could guide her to the right path but I don't think she can be helped. Thanks guys for all ur help an input.
 
Violence Against Women: Facts and Background

"Violence against women continues to persist as one of the most heinous, systematic and prevalent human rights abuses in the world. It is a threat to all women, and an obstacle to all our efforts for development, peace, and gender equality in all societies." Ban Ki moon, United Nations Secretary General, 2007.
Some statistics

UK

45% of women have experienced some form of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking.1

Around 21% of girls, experience some form of child sexual abuse2

At least 80,000 women suffer rape every year.3

In a survey for Amnesty International, over 1 in 4 respondents thought a women was partially or totally responsible for being raped if she was wearing sexy or revealing clothing, and more than 1 in 5 held the same view if a woman had had many sexual partners.4

On average, two women a week in England and Wales are killed by a violent partner or ex-partner. This constitutes nearly 40% of all female homicide victims.5

70% of incidents of domestic violence result in injury, (compared with 50% of incidents of acquaintance violence, 48% of stranger violence and 29% of mugging).6

Around 85% of forced marriage victims are women7

Domestic violence is estimated to cost victims, services and the state a total of around £23 billion a year.8

Globally At least one in three women is beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused by an intimate partner in the course of her lifetime.9
Women aged 15-44 are more at risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, motor accidents, war and malaria, according to World Bank data.10

Approximately 80,000 women suffer rape and attempted rape every year 11

More than 60 million women are "missing" from the world today as a result of sex-selective abortions and female infanticide (Amartya Sen, Nobel Laureate)

Several global surveys suggest that half of all women who die from homicide are killed by their current or former husbands or partners.
Violence in LGBT Communities










1 Walby, S. & Allen, J. (2004) Domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking: Findings from the British Crime Survey. Home Office. London.
2 HM Government (2007) Cross-government Action Plan on Sexual Violence and Abuse. Home Office. London.
3 Walby, S. & Allen, J. (2004) Domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking: Findings from the British Crime Survey. Home Office. London.
4 Amnesty UK (2005) Sexual Assault Research. Amnesty. London.
5 Povey, D. (2005) Crime in England and Wales 2003/2004: Supplementary Volume 1: Homicide and Gun Crime. Home Office Statistical Bulletin No. 02/05. Home Office. London; Department of Health (2005) Responding to Domestic Abuse. DH. London. (from ‘Statistics on Domestic Violence’: www.womensaid.org.uk)
6 Dodd, T. et al (2004) Crime in England and Wales 2003-2004. Home Office. London (from ‘Statistics on Domestic Violence’: www.womensaid.org.uk)
7 Forced Marriage: A Wrong not a Right, Home Office and Foreign & Commonwealth Office, 2005
8 S Walby, The Cost of Domestic Violence
9 Unifem (2003) Not a minute more: Ending Violence Against Women. United Nations Development Fund for Women. New York. http://www.un.org/en/women/endviolence/pdf/VAW.pdf
10 Unifem (2003) Not a minute more: Ending Violence Against Women. United Nations Development Fund for Women. New York. http://www.un.org/en/women/endviolence/pdf/VAW.pdf
11 Walby, S. & Allen, J. (2004) Domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking: Findings from the British Crime Survey. Home Office. London.






http://www.whiteribboncampaign.co.uk/Resources/violence_against_women
 
marina28 said:
I thought I could guide her to the right path but I don't think she can be helped. Thanks guys for all ur help an input.
Click to expand...

By any chance is that Soraya again you're talking to? Anyway, the information that other members have shared with you is correct. Domestic abuse is prominent throughout the world and isn't exclusive to any one religion, culture or race and it isn't approved of in Islam...
 
Yes I know, I guess I just wanted show her figures just to show her but I think wot ever evidence I give she still wouldn't get it. Yes it's her, I thought she was confused bout Islam but I think it's a roose to get me to convert back. I know it's sounds like I'm over reacting but just seems that way. That's why I'm taking step back.
 
You are not overreacting. Leave her. She is not interested in learning about Islam at all. I thought she was too but I stopped talking to her. She just wants to start trouble with you and seeing as you are a newer Muslim, it's best not to associate with people like that.

The best you can do is make dua that Allah (swt) guides that person...
 
Marina, remember one thing.

"Verily you guide not whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And he knows best those who are guided." [al-Qur’aan, al-Qasas(28):56]
 
It is a wonder how we survive childhood with all that abuse? ;D
she's a pathological liar and mentally unstable. I wouldn't want her as a Muslim.. Can't we work on being better Muslims than amassing every ragtag and bobtail? Enough da3wa giving.. let's work to better what we've got..

:w:
 
yes ive stop talking to her nw, i know that sounds cruel as she might need a friend to talk to but i dont have the strength. Im just a new muslim so i dont know all the answers she wants and to be honest she doesnt know when to quit. she can be quiet offensive. i dont wanna hear bout abusive husbands and that me and children r in danger! i just cant handle it. i know ur suppose to guide people to way of islam but i just cant. does that make me bad person?
 
no sister, you've done ur best. u have no obligation to change ppl's hearts. ur job was to give the mssg. and you shoiuld spend that energy for learning more deen for your aakhirah. :)
 
CosmicPathos said:
no sister, you've done ur best. u have no obligation to change ppl's hearts. ur job was to give the mssg. and you shoiuld spend that energy for learning more deen for your aakhirah. :)
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your totally right :P yea ive got to practise learning salat
 

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