I am being used by people and being manipulated by cunning people (CRIES)

MSBi said:
I am sorry to bother everyone here but I am feeling used by everyone around me especially my family.

I stay happy and positive when i talk but my mum puts me down and has in her this thing where she finds out weakness in a person and uses them by bringing up a topic they hate in conversation or action which they will put them in negative mood then uses it to steer others towards negative moods and feelings.

My brothers are far too cunning and far too clever and use me by acting a certain way in front of me to please me enough and then have there own motives and thoughts which they never disclose to keep me below them.

If my own family is like this, a family who I cant talk to and thinks me worthless because I don't have a good job as my brother even though i am trying three times as hard as him in life, a family who never acknowledges my hard work even after showing them then what do i expect from other people.

I am seriously destroyed. I pray on time, read quran with understanding and keep away from all major sins and try my best to become patient but feelings come out of the blue and all what is happening to me is destruction.

Consistent destruction in my life.

(CRIES). I am done man. Why when I want to abide by commands of Allah and want to be a good person that this is happening. It makes no sense and all this comes out of nowhere. The feeling of instant worthlessness and change of mood and my whole soul changes in two seconds.

I have done everything in my power to correct myself and my family hasn't tried one bit.

I have consulted a doctor/psychiatrist and he says I have no problem.

Am I doing something wrong if so then why don't i know it in my head. If this is a test by God then how am i suppose to know because my I am simple and not smart enough.

I am scared of going home everyday because I would disrespect my mum when i don't want to but she pisses me off to the extent where even the most patient person would not stand by it. Also my brothers are on their laptops and mobiles all the time following friends and their lifestyles.

Not only that but my self respect and worth goes away in front of other people by this sudden changes in side me.

(CRIES)(CRIES)(CRIES) - why doesn't god just destroy me? (CRIES)
Click to expand...

believe me when i say ,i know what you are going through
i even wrote this poem,from personal experiences



if you remain silent ,many will take advantage of you
if you are patient,some will deem it as weakness
if you speak the truth you will be called a madman
if you are angry,your oppressor will blame you
if you cry theyll claim not to know why
if you are hurt,it is your fault
you want your rights,why do you shout?

they will not help you,but blame you
they will malign you,not understand you
they will hurt you further,not heal you

dont even try ,theyll say
you are nothing,theyll hiss


they will plan and scheme
and have the perfect facade
nothing can destroy their public charade

but,there will be ..that day..
from adam to the last soul
the judgement of all .
 
Also akhi if we didn't care or understand how you feel we wouldn't be here trying to take some time to write what we want you to know .
We all go through difficult situations and we have to accept it and try to get out of it.
 
AHMED PATEL said:
believe me when i say ,i know what you are going through
i even wrote this poem,from personal experiences



if you remain silent ,many will take advantage of you
if you are patient,some will deem it as weakness
if you speak the truth you will be called a madman
if you are angry,your oppressor will blame you
if you cry theyll claim not to know why
if you are hurt,it is your fault
you want your rights,why do you shout?

they will not help you,but blame you
they will malign you,not understand you
they will hurt you further,not heal you

dont even try ,theyll say
you are nothing,theyll hiss


they will plan and scheme
and have the perfect facade
nothing can destroy their public charade

but,there will be ..that day..
from adam to the last soul
the judgement of all .
Click to expand...
Assalamu Alaikum
Good one :)
I love it!
 
I can just pray for you and cannot do anything else because everyone is responsible for their lives i don't know how you really feel even by sharing ....I cannot still get it [emoji817] percent ....I really feel sympathy for you ...may Allah help ..U...because when he helps everything will be easy ...I have tiny advice turn towards Allah ....instead of asking here ...ask him ....tell him to guide you and show you the right path ...and the right answer to this trial that he has put you into ...and by him ....he knows everything ...
So stop asking us ...or anyone ask him right away all the time ...it would calm u ...zikar calms me down ...I feel happy [emoji4] after talking and praying to my lord...Allah ...that's Allah ....jazakallah...
 
The only thing I can tell you is to forget about others
because you can't change them and they just can make your suffering worst
But rather change yourself ... try to see what are the- things which- make them like that ???
They may not think like they hurt you
I also live like this one day but after changing I know that they just was trying to make me better but by them own way
If the whole world try to change you and you don't decide this you won't be change
Why you speak like that with yourself ??
Don't think that this is reality
It just a lie thinking
And if you began to see how much you have and what is your strong points you will be another parson
It's hard to change
But if you decide this you will see how your life will be
I live this kind of life and I lose a lot of time in it but alhamdulillah at least I get experiences from it.
But don't let this period take so long
It wasting your time and your life because it become against you if you don't change, especially how you think about your self
Don't blame any one ... forgive them all.
And promise yourself to let them know who you are soon
Why you don't try
I know you have tried before.
But don't stop there- ...
the most of great people in the world began from nothing... they failed and didn't stop trying.
Everyone have his own suffering but which make you feel strong, is when you think how much you have problems and things against you, and yet become more than everyone can think.
And they all will be with
Know that behind every action a good intention
They may slap you while they think that they want to waking you up
But anyway help yourself and forget about other's
You can forgive them mistakes because when you think about them you will harm yourself
 
Last edited:
Ya akhi,

I would say ignore them and keep your mind on the bigger picture- why were u born ie what is your prime objective in life.
- Be the best of the best muslim and set your standards high. You are here to please Allah SWT and remember the love parents demonstrate towards their children is nothing compared to the love Allah the Al - Wudood has in store for you.
- Read if possible the biographies of Prophet Muhammed PBUH (the best of the creation) and Abu Bakr As Siddique the best of the caliphs. It has taught me how to deal with impossible situations. Remember you should not lose hope if your family has no hope on you- you are not on this planet for your family. Allah SWT will never lose hope on you and he has kept millions of doors open for you to be successful. Also, if you are financially/ professionally less successful than those you are comparing yourself with then the test upon you is much easier for them because Allah SWT does not simply give one wealth and prosperity to keep to themselves/show off with.
- Some have already mentioned the importance of not making your parents angry at you and that is important no doubt how unhelpful/detrimental they are to you. That's because duas made by parents against their children can have severe consequences even if the parents are at fault. Doesn't mean they don't pay. In a hadith narrated by Sheikh Bilaal Assaad he mentions a mother wrongly making dua against her son damaging him in the process but she ends up dying in a tragic road accident as the dua becomes reality.
- And needless to say get away from them asap because if someone doesn't support u in the path of Islam they are simply bad company. Yes you have certain duties towards your parents - they didn't afterall dump u in a trash can n let u die when you were in an infant. But u can simply support them financially or arrange for someone to take care of them when u can afford if it comes down to that. However, nothing should come between you and your Iman. And when your Iman is strong you will understand you are better than the sinners in Allah's eye, the only eye that matters. If Allah loves you He grants you anything that you can handle. You should not cry. You should be proud that you have not inherited the traits of your family that you have complained about. That is Allah's SWT mercy on you.

Anyways, I'm new on this forum and I apologize in advance if I have uttered anything harsh by mistake. I hope you find the light.



MSBi said:
I am sorry to bother everyone here but I am feeling used by everyone around me especially my family.

I stay happy and positive when i talk but my mum puts me down and has in her this thing where she finds out weakness in a person and uses them by bringing up a topic they hate in conversation or action which they will put them in negative mood then uses it to steer others towards negative moods and feelings.

My brothers are far too cunning and far too clever and use me by acting a certain way in front of me to please me enough and then have there own motives and thoughts which they never disclose to keep me below them.

If my own family is like this, a family who I cant talk to and thinks me worthless because I don't have a good job as my brother even though i am trying three times as hard as him in life, a family who never acknowledges my hard work even after showing them then what do i expect from other people.

I am seriously destroyed. I pray on time, read quran with understanding and keep away from all major sins and try my best to become patient but feelings come out of the blue and all what is happening to me is destruction.

Consistent destruction in my life.

(CRIES). I am done man. Why when I want to abide by commands of Allah and want to be a good person that this is happening. It makes no sense and all this comes out of nowhere. The feeling of instant worthlessness and change of mood and my whole soul changes in two seconds.

I have done everything in my power to correct myself and my family hasn't tried one bit.

I have consulted a doctor/psychiatrist and he says I have no problem.

Am I doing something wrong if so then why don't i know it in my head. If this is a test by God then how am i suppose to know because my I am simple and not smart enough.

I am scared of going home everyday because I would disrespect my mum when i don't want to but she pisses me off to the extent where even the most patient person would not stand by it. Also my brothers are on their laptops and mobiles all the time following friends and their lifestyles.

Not only that but my self respect and worth goes away in front of other people by this sudden changes in side me.

(CRIES)(CRIES)(CRIES) - why doesn't god just destroy me? (CRIES)
Click to expand...
 
MSBi said:
I am seriously destroyed. I pray on time, read quran with understanding and keep away from all major sins and try my best to become patient but feelings come out of the blue and all what is happening to me is destruction.

Consistent destruction in my life.

(CRIES). I am done man. Why when I want to abide by commands of Allah and want to be a good person that this is happening. It makes no sense and all this comes out of nowhere. The feeling of instant worthlessness and change of mood and my whole soul changes in two seconds.

I have done everything in my power to correct myself and my family hasn't tried one bit.

I have consulted a doctor/psychiatrist and he says I have no problem.
Click to expand...

There is a high chance Allaah loves you
​


It was narrated from Anas bin Malik that the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.”


Do you not see the Prophets were tested the most

Al-Tirmidhi (2398) narrated that Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, which of the people are most sorely tested?” He said: “The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of religious commitment. If his religious commitment is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his religious commitment is weak, he will be tested in accordance with his religious commitment. Calamity will keep befalling a person until he walks on the earth with no sin on him.” Classed assaheeh by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 143.



The words of the pious scholars

Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

Al-Fadl ibn Sahl said: “There is a blessing in calamity that the wise man should not ignore, for it erases sins, gives one the opportunity to attain the reward for patience, dispels negligence, reminds one of blessings at the time of health, calls one to repent and encourages one to give charity.



Always make du'aa against evil destiny

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "Take refuge with Allah from the difficulties of severe calamities, from having an evil end and a bad fate and from the malicious joy of your enemies."

Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 6616
 
Thank you for your replies.

I have undertaken fasting three times a week which has in turn helped me become more patient and aided my mind and soul in coping with difficulties.

I will definately take on board everyones points

All i ask is for everyone to remmeber me in there prayer and may allah forgive the rightous and make us steadfast in times of difficulty.

Forgive me I wasnt prepared to handle this trial because it came upon me all of a sudden
 
MSBi said:
Thank you for your replies.

I have undertaken fasting three times a week which has in turn helped me become more patient and aided my mind and soul in coping with difficulties.

I will definately take on board everyones points

All i ask is for everyone to remmeber me in there prayer and may allah forgive the rightous and make us steadfast in times of difficulty.

Forgive me I wasnt prepared to handle this trial because it came upon me all of a sudden
Click to expand...
Don't worry brother . You will be in our prayers inshallah :)
May Allah make you happy .
 
research "gaslighting "and toxic parenting
dont be a victim
deal with it
collect proof by video ,audio etc
dont let others destroy you
you have rights too
patience is sometimes not the right way
sometimes things need to be done
for the sake of your own sanity
when you fight back,you will develop skills which will help you in life
or you will be forever a victim
 

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