I am losing my faith in Allah....

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AhmadJaan

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Salam Alleikum my fellow muslims

I am a good hearted boy, 17 years old, but through all my life I have been unhappy with who I am. I am born with genetic disorder, which is that I have woman voice, and through all my life people have picked on me because of that, either saying I was a girl or I was gay...and I hate it, I want to kill that person or kill myself, and I just dont know why Allah would give a person such a desease, I mean my everyday life in school is a real pain (but at home i feel more accepted, because of my wonderful family that I love more than anything else in this world).I seem happy when I alone or with my family... I dont hate school not because of homework, but because of people...When I am in school I am very quiet, i dont say a word all day...i have no friends at all, i dont talk to anyone in school...and everywhere I look I see perfect people, while I feel like I am a genetic error...and I have doubts over if any woman/girl would ever love/marry me, even though I am a very handsome guy and I would treat a girl like a queen. No one takes me serious as real boy/man because of that....and somedays I just think when will this painful Life will be over... I am just wondering why would Allah give me this desease or what ever u can call it, because its not something that ever will go away, it will be a torture to the rest of my life. Believe me if had a choice I would either choose to be born without fx a leg/hand or not be born at all than this life i am living now...And I feel like the only one who can help me is Allah, but i cant talk to Allah and he cant change it so I could live a normal and happy life where i was equal to everyone else and where is Allah??? why did Allah do this to me? arent Allah supposed to be mercyfull and kind... (PS. I hate school, becuase i have been bullied and humiliated so much that I dont know how to make the highschool that I am in now (first year in Highschool)... My life is full of humiliation and wonder why Allah did put this test on me...Because I dont know how to make it....I thank you for reading my long and sad story...and I hope u can give ur response to me...
 
Brother there are no errors in our creation, your voice is the voice Allah gave you. Allah can change that voice if He so wishes.
I am so sorry that you have been bullied because of it, what can we say, people are heartless at times, I wish it were different for your sake but its part of life bro.
Maybe a Doctor or speech therapist could help you, or at least explain things to you. Alhamdulillah that your familly are so loving and encouraging, not all families are.
I see from thepost that you still have strong faith in Allah, just allow Him to guide your way brother, there is surely some reason for your voice sounding the way it does. And I have to tell you that ppl may tease you about being gay etc, but you come across to me like a true man, you are asking for help, you still go to school and you love Allah. A true man can be measured by what he says not by how he says it.
May Allah help and guide you brother, Ameen
 
i don't know much about genetic diseases but is there any male hormones that you could take to deepen your vioce? even i don't think its that bad how your making out to be:statisfie probably they bully you so much so you believe its that bad..you know they have nothing better else to do and they are making it a big thing because they might be jealous of something in you

this is a test from Allah so i would not lose hope. even i would say thanks to Allah because it could be worser. if you know you are not all of those things that they call you, why are you getting worried? the people who are calling you gay are probably gay themselves ha so i would not worry brother mabe as you get older your vioce might deepen a little. you are just 17years after all. when you are called so many things for so long so you start to believe you really do have a problem with yourself but the fact of the matter these bullies would slag of anybody who comes their way even if it was something a person was wearing they would make a song and dance about it
 
AhmadJaan said:
Salam Alleikum my fellow muslims

I am a good hearted boy, 17 years old, but through all my life I have been unhappy with who I am. I am born with genetic disorder, which is that I have woman voice, and through all my life people have picked on me because of that, either saying I was a girl or I was gay...and I hate it, I want to kill that person or kill myself, and I just dont know why Allah would give a person such a desease, I mean my everyday life in school is a real pain (but at home i feel more accepted, because of my wonderful family that I love more than anything else in this world).I seem happy when I alone or with my family... I dont hate school not because of homework, but because of people...When I am in school I am very quiet, i dont say a word all day...i have no friends at all, i dont talk to anyone in school...and everywhere I look I see perfect people, while I feel like I am a genetic error...and I have doubts over if any woman/girl would ever love/marry me, even though I am a very handsome guy and I would treat a girl like a queen. No one takes me serious as real boy/man because of that....and somedays I just think when will this painful Life will be over... I am just wondering why would Allah give me this desease or what ever u can call it, because its not something that ever will go away, it will be a torture to the rest of my life. Believe me if had a choice I would either choose to be born without fx a leg/hand or not be born at all than this life i am living now...And I feel like the only one who can help me is Allah, but i cant talk to Allah and he cant change it so I could live a normal and happy life where i was equal to everyone else and where is Allah??? why did Allah do this to me? arent Allah supposed to be mercyfull and kind... (PS. I hate school, becuase i have been bullied and humiliated so much that I dont know how to make the highschool that I am in now (first year in Highschool)... My life is full of humiliation and wonder why Allah did put this test on me...Because I dont know how to make it....I thank you for reading my long and sad story...and I hope u can give ur response to me...
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:sl: brother,

Please don't let school pulling you down and laugh you. You are strong person inside your heart. What would you say if you graduated from high school (4 years from now)?

I see, these school days are more bullied, weird, and silly than my old school times due to my disability hearing loss. I was standing strong person who I am (kids gave us a look of my hearing aids, no friends) and what Allah (Subhana Wa Taa'la) created me in HIS best plan. I am proud myself who I am as you do. Think about it when you are finished high school and no longer go back later. Be patient and focus study in climbing up ladder higher. You will look back in the past down at ladder, gladly it was gone that I passed. Realize it is testing.

I am glad to hear that you still happy in family together and support you, very positive. Ignore school kids and don't waste your time for them. Lol. :D

You will get better later, Insha'Allah! Keep it up and reading Qur'an and pray to our Creator only.
 
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^ it's true I got bullied cos of my nose but there's nothing wrong with it. they just look for anything to pick on. Your school life sounds like mine, I was also "the guy who's always by himself" I used to wish my nose wasn't the way it was but then I just thought "why do I care what they think, Allah made me this way and to him I turn"

When people make fun of your characteristics they're actually making fun of Allah cos he's the one that made you the way you are, you didn't choose to be the way you are that's how you were made so they're making fun of the 1 who made you.

don't let it get you down so much, it gets easier as you meet grown ups and start mixing with mature adults that's when life becomes good and you can forget all about the immature children. jus tell yourself I don't care about this life, I'm aiming for jannah, what ever people think of me or say about me doesn't bother me, only what my creator thinks of me is what I care about.

I know people with skin disorders so bad that when they walk down the road every 1 looks at them as they walk past but it's actually a blessing for them in a way because they've completely given up on this life and are able to see it for what it is worthless. So they make the akhira their goal and jannah because they know that's the true life.
 
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I mean my everyday life in school is a real pain (but at home i feel more accepted, because of my wonderful family that I love more than anything else in this world).
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I will have u know that even if u didnt have this soft voice, people wud find something else in u to complain about. Its the nature of bad people, to hurt others. u mentioned that u have a wonderful family, say Alhamdulilah. Believe me those people who bully u will come n go but ur family will always be there inshaAllah, Wat do they tell u? Listen to them cause they matter, everyone else doesnt.

I can understand that its hard but dont give wat these losers have to say any value. Be confident, believe in urself, keep ur head up high n live ur life. Dont hate school, if u finish school *gets my Ummies tone* u will become professional one day, make money. Remember its really wats in ur head that counts (ur brains which Allah blessed u wit), cause wit that u can earn money have a life inshaAllah. When u finish school, earn a degree, everyone will respect u for who u are not for ur voice.

Allah could have taken ur brain away from u, made u disabled..AstaqfurAllah, but he didnt..Say Alhamdulilah.

Surah Ar-rahman 13:

Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you deny?
 
Greetings and peace be with you AhmadJaan; welcome to the forum, and I hope you find the strength to increase in faith.

If Allah has given you a voice that is a burden to you, then he has also given you the gifts to lighten this burden.

You just need to believe this is true, search for this inner strength that Allah has already placed inside you, beyond a doubt you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

In the spirit of praying for an inner strength to get through this day and every day, knowing that our God holds us in the palm of his hand.

Eric
 
I know one kuwaiti doctor who has both the habitus of a little boy and the voice of a young child or a woman, he is a vascular surgeon, at a very prominent hospital the one where the president gets treated I swear to God. Guess no one can bully him now, Making the best of what you have is the best cure and I think the greatest revenge on those who bully you..

:w:
 
Make the most of your good assets and be the best you can in life and keep your faith in Allah. It is your test and although it is hard, it is not as harsh as what some people have to go through, you have a loving family at the end of the day. Keep making dua to Allah to help you and inshaAllah your voice will never hold you back.
Have doctors said there is nothing they can do to help?

If it makes you feel any better, if i knew you, i would talk to you and be your friend. School is a harsh place, people grow up eventually, you will find less narrow-minded people in the future.
 
:sl: lil bro

Br. Tony gave you good advice. You should see your doctor to rule out any physical problems. InshaAllah, nothing is wrong and speech therapy/voice projection etc may be all you need.

It is also important as a muslim to increase your knowledge of the deen. Our religion is a complete way of life and learning the deen helps you understand the purpose of life as well as how to deal with the its hardships and trials.

You will also come to have total belief in the Fairness and Justice of Allah and realise that there are many many blessings in our sufferings. Allah does not let a believer suffer but that He compensates him for it.

The Prophet (saw) said, “Nothing strikes a Muslim – no fatigue, illness, worry, grief, hurt nor sorrow; not even a prick of a thorn – except that Allah wipes off due to it some of his sins.” [Collected in Sahih of Bukhari & Muslim]

So merciful is Allah to the believers that we are rewarded for our suffering as well as our good deeds whereas the disbelievers are only rewarded for their good deeds.

Another hadith states..

“When Allah wants well for a slave of His, He hastens the punishment in this world (rather than the severe and eternal Hereafter). And when Allah wants for His slave bad, He withholds from him (the punishment for) his sin until he takes it from him on the Day of Resurrection.” [An authentic hadith collected by Tirmidhi]


You said brother, that you'd rather have been born without an arm or a leg. It is not good to wish for what Allah has saved you from. Allah does not burden a soul beyond its scope. Say, alhumdulillah for being given two hands so you do not need to reply upon anyone to clean you after visiting the bathroom. Only those who are in the position of depending on others know the humiliation of such losses.


This life is so short that when in the here-after, man is asked how long he spent on earth, he will say, maybe it was a day or two. And when the belivers will see the rewards for those who suffered on earth, they will wish their skin had been slashed with knives so they could have gotten the same rewards as those who suffered.

And, if you are still not convinced in the Mercy and Fairness of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala then (and I feel like falling on my knees and crying when a muslim can't see how Kind and Merciful my Allah is, because my heart cries when I have to tell a beliver of Allah's mercy) you should know that for every illness, Allah has sent a cure.

"Every illness has a cure, and when proper cure is applied to the disease, it ends it, Allah willing." Muhammad (saw) - Sahih Muslim.

It is just a matter of finding the right help.


Lastly, you must also think from this perspective that perhaps Allah withheld the cure from you for your own good. Maybe if you'd been given the voice you want, it could've ruined you in terms of piety. Maybe you would've been confident, popular and gotten into temptation? But maybe your suffering shielded you. Became a wall between you and sins? And in this suffering was a test of your patience and gratitude to Allah. So don't... :cry: Don't be ungrateful to Him. Only good comes from Allah, and all bad comes from us (yaani mankind). I don't wish to make you feel bad, but Wallahi, your loss of faith in Allah, has really made me cry.


The cure is there brother. All you need is to have faith in Allah that your suffering isn't in vain and ask Allah to help you find a cure for it. This is no hadith, but my own true belief that if you believe that drinking water over which Al-Fatiha has been recited on will heal you by Allah's leave, then depending on how strong the trust and belief that you put in Allah is, you will be healed.


And bro, when you lie down to sleep tonite, think of all the things in your body, from your head to your toes, from every organ, every bone, every muscle, tendon, vein, artery, every cell and think, if out of allllllll these perfectly functioning things, there was only a minor flaw in your voice, was that a reason to be ungrateful and for losing faith in Allah? InshaAllah you will find the answer is no. :statisfie



I pray you find the cure. Ameen. InshaAllah I belive you will. :)
 
squiggle said:
^ but it's actually a blessing for them in a way because they've completely given up on this life and are able to see it for what it is worthless. So they make the akhira their goal and jannah because they know that's the true life.
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that is so true brother. because of the fact that there is nothing wrong with us we don't seem to strive like them easily its like Allah did bless them i totally believe.

i was a victim of bullying many years ago now when i was about 9years old. my mum use do my hair in different styles everyday then this girl in my school she would pull my hair and mess it up and she would tell me i had ugly hair:'( and she went and spread rumours about me i had head lice.

she was so cruel. nobody didn't want to hang around with me even though my hair was healthy. she made me feel like a leper. that effected me for years after believing that it looked ugly.

i would tie up my hair and not let it down. it took me a long time to get over it even though it was many years ago. then many years later she went to the same secondary school as me and she was totally different in behaviour but still a bit rough and she admitted to me she was jealous of me all those many years ago and she suddenly wanted to be my best friend

then i found out the only reason she wanted to be friends is because she had a crush on my brother lol
 
^ lol, it's true how it effects you for years after, stays in the back of your head then slowly you forget about it. but scars you for quite a while and you develop paranoia :|

brother you may not have any friends in school but do you really want to be friends with such insensitive people? I wouldn't, try and surround yourself with people like yourself, kind, caring, sensitive.
 
wow...I didn't expect so many answers...thank u very much and may Allah bless u all....Good to know that there is good people like u in this world...And thanx for all those good advices....It really maked me think about life etc. and actually I am begining to think I am a strong person, and that I can make it...I wont care what people think of me anymore...I will be good person and ''squiggle'' my friend u got right...i should be glad because as U said, if i didn't have this problem I would be perfect and maybe I wouldn't be like the one I am now...I would be like those people...
 
^ exactly my brother, only care what Allah thinks of you, as long as your not doing anything haraam or displeasing to him be happy :) cos there's nothing worry about if your obeying him.

When you look at the prophets life peace be upon him you see in many places that the prophet peace be upon him was humiliated publically and ridiculed like the old lady who threw rubbish on him everytime he walked past her house, and like when the children of AT-TA'IF chased him out of the town with stones and rocks.

He reacted by making dua to Allah telling him as long as your happy with me I don't care, your pleasure is worth more to me than anything else. good attitude to have :)

If the messenger of Allah can take being ridiculed publically and humiliated by the people you can also, take comfort in this whenever you find the people laughing at you and making fun of you. The same thing happened to the messenger of Allah peace be upon him.

your a stranger bro :) and you know the saying about the strangers ;) check this talk out


http://www.islamictube.net/watch/798576370/The-Strangers

and definitely you would've been like those nasty people if you wern't the way you were.

going through life I've found the people who don't have the material things like beautifull looks are the nicest of people and the people who have material things like good looks are the most stuck up and arrogant of people.

Not saying all are like that but from what I've seen and the people I've met in my own experiences have turned out to be like that, I know your very handsome as you mentioned mashallah and alhamdulilah you don't have the bad stuff like arrogance and looking down upon people say alhamdulilah for this :)

someday some women is going to notice this inshallah and love you for it,
 
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Allahu Akbar! :cry:

May Allah increase you bro. nd don't forget, there is a cure. Bi idhnillah you will find it soon. :)
 
Salamalikum brother,

Let me tell you one thing. This is the whole point of life you get tested. Never lose hope in Allah.

Just be happy with who you are, because there are probably people out there who are a lot worse than you.
 
Asalmalaikum brother,
The thing is that no one is perfect, theres always something wrong with a human whether it shows or not so treat these people in a kind manner and remember that allah is with the patient..maybe there is a better reward waiting for you in the hereafter..and hopefully allah will be happy with you..just be patient

Make the most out of these last few days of ramadhan :)
 
AhmadJaan said:
Salam Alleikum my fellow muslims

I am a good hearted boy, 17 years old, but through all my life I have been unhappy with who I am..........
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Bro ahmad jaan,
i read all replies to your question and you got some nice tips it look like.
so i dont have much to write but a tip which i think its useful for you.

visit this forum http://www.medhelp.org/
its very populer forum to get top medical advises.
i suggess you post your problem there under proper topic.
inshllah you will get some good medical tips i am sure.

ill make dua for you. btw, supplications in tahaddjhud is more power full.
sure answer :D
 

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