i am married and committed Zina

[Yusuf Saeed]

:salamext:

I suggest you ryaan and also everyone else could maybe listen to a wonderful lecture by Bilal Assad. It's really about the situation what you're in right now.

The lecture is called Ahmad the Repenter.

Here's the link from where you can download it or listen to it: http://www.kalamullah.com/bilal-assad.html

 

[Santoku]

salam alikum

i have made a massive mistake ive been with my partner 4 years she is a revert, we had done our Nikah over a year ago. i have been stupid enough to commit zina not once but twice with a work collegue she is single not married. i feel so down, sick and guilty as i do love my wife dearly and i feel so bad words cant describe how i feel. i promised myself i will not interact with the lady from work like that again. it botheres me so much that i didnt even sleep that well yesterday. i dont know what to do i know i must seek repentance from allah and i beg him to forgive me for my sin as i know its a big one.

what can i do i know if i tell her she will leave me thats 100% i know she loves me but thats one thing she said will do if she ever found out i cheated. what can i do to make things better should i do a kurbani and just keep praying to allah to forgive me? please help me or advice me on the right path.

jazakum allah keir

Can't give an Islamic answer and I am not going to try. Nor am I going to sugar coat my reply for you.

You are a fool, capital F.

TWICE! Once you might get away with the temptation excuse but twice is (as my darling wife would say) a habit. You are now in the power of this woman, if she decides to be nasty and inform your wife?

There is an old saying two people can only keep a secret if one of them is dead, your wife is going to find out sooner or later, if not through you or the woman but from a colleague or coworker of yours or hers because they will notice, they may not say anything but they will notice, even if she does not tell. You know your wife better than I do so your only choice is to decide which is the better. Do your arithmetic and work out which is going to be the best.

 

[ryaan]

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

 

[Cabdullahi]

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

couldnt you have just waited until you got home and met up with your to do whatever you like?!?!

 

[Ansariyah]

Men have a lot of sexual desire, and sometimes they are not satisfied with 1 woman. They need release and maybe because the woman they married has not got a high level of sexual desire, the same as the man, which is why he is not content with her.

That's what I understand anyway.

Let us not give men like that any excuses they don't deserve it. It's not about contentment, is he content wit sleeping around wit a disgusting woman? Who probably doesn't even wash her own backside (istinja)? No! It's because he's a Shameless creature who can't control himself!

That woman at home is probably a wonderful wife, who does everything to please her husband. It's not her fault that her husband is a man of no dignity & honor.

 

[Sahabiyaat]

^ ouch

 

[Sahabiyaat]

why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes

thats funny, ....i was appproached a short while ago by a married man, this mans wife was beautiful, much more than me, and both me and her wear the ful hijaab.....yet why would a married man do that if i dress modestly and he has a wife who is stunning ?????...i would really like to know what goes on in the minds of such men????

 

[Ansariyah]

This thread makes me sick physicallhy.
I shudnt have replied.
btw my post is speaking men in general as sis tia was talking about ''men'' in general.

 

[GreyKode]

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

This friend of yours, although I don't like to use this style, IS WORSE THAN SHAYTAAN.
You need to set up your priorities now, this friend of yours is the worst muslim you can ever be with, he is no friend of yours, you hate for ALLAH(swt) and love for HIM, I think you shouldn't be friends with him anymore, apparently all the ones in your places are like that, avoid them and try to find some good pious muslims, think of what the prophet(saw) would have done to you, he would have stoned both you and your friend.Period.

A hadith of the prophet (pbuh) : "Al maru'u ala deen khalilih...."

Translation: A man is a reflection(or follows the ways) of his friends..(something like that)

 

[markislam]

brother consult the Quaran not men, what kind of a guy is he saying just go ahead , every body does it :hiding:

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

 

[markislam]

I have seen so many men who have beautifull wives but dont appreciate them :heated: and look at other women mg:

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

 

[Cabdullahi]

This thread makes me sick physicallhy.
I shudnt have replied.
btw my post is speaking men in general as sis tia was talking about ''men'' in general.

You know why you are sick because of this

disgusting woman? Who probably doesn't even wash her own backside (istinja)? No! It's because he's a Shameless creature who can't control himself!

Im feeling sick now


to the thread starter friends can kill you and that person you call a friend has destroyed you.....its up to you now to better yourself life is short

 

[ryaan]

its true i could of waited but like i said my past cought up with me my arrogance and pride and im also a bit of a show off yes its beyond stupid. i cant blame my friend for dishing out such advice as i know what right and wrong.

i wish i could be a pious man but its hard really hard.i have made a mistake and i do regret it and i do hope god does forgive me. i sometimes and wake up and wish it was just a dream but thats life ive made a mistake a BIG one and now ill try and do good to wash away that bad sin.

im not going to sit here and lie as it just wont benfit anything, im trying to be as honest as i can so you can paint a real picture of what its like outhere. i live in the U.K and theres lots of muslims outhere that are doing a lot worst DOESNT MAKE WHAT IM DOING ANY BETTER, but when your surronded by this all the time it only makes you feel like theres nothing wrong with it when there really is something wrong with it.

only allah knows what i go through and i hope he forgives me. thank to you all for your honest comments.

trust me i do appretaite my wife its why she bloody trusts me so much and thats why i feel so guilty. some of you will say if i did so why did i sleep with this other lady. maybe if you read my previous posts then you will understand well maybe not. all i can tell you its hard and alhamdulilah ramadan is few days away atleast then i can spend more time in the masjid and not think of anything evil inshala

 

[ryaan]

my friend is muslim he knows whats right and wrong but the problem is he is very westernised just like a lot of brothers and sisters. if i call him to pray with me he would do it with out hesitation

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

if i was you i would never speak to that friend again until he changes his ways.




and also if i was you, i would have quit that job and saught one where you dont have to work with women.




thats IF i was you-... although i cant imagine commiting zina... especially if i have a wonderful wife



the shaytan and his tricks...


hate the sin... not the sinner...


KEEP THE BEARD


IT MAKES A STATEMENT AND ACTS AS A VEIL!

 

[markislam]

just because some one prays they don't become a muslim. Action is more than words.

Show islam through your Actions :hmm:

my friend is muslim he knows whats right and wrong but the problem is he is very westernised just like a lot of brothers and sisters. if i call him to pray with me he would do it with out hesitation

 

[Alphadude]

why did u get married at first place isnt this stupid get married then commit zina huh u dont deserve a wife and what if she does the same thing what would be ur reaction if she told u the same thing ? its best if u leave it and not tell her and 4get about it and not commite zina again if u do it then as i said u dont deserve a wife.

 

[syilla]

Akhee...

From what i've learned... you shouldn't blame the imaan, shaytan and the other women...

Blame yourself first... for not taking good care of your iman. For not trying hard to increase your imaan.

Grow your imaan...

Repent...repent...repent... thats all i can say. The guilt will haunt you forever if you don't try to achieve the taubah that it should be.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

i spoke to the lady that works with me and ive explained to her its wrong what we done and it wont happen again, and yes i am a fool for what i did as my wife is also much better looking than her.why did i do it this lady dresses up in the most reveling clothes and she was reeling me in with emails and texts its my fault to have taken part and then finally taken it to a next level. but thats it, its the last time i guess i didnt think about the consecuences it didnt relise it would be Zina i have a good friend of mine who is muslim a very close friend of mine i consulted him about the matter before anything happend and he was like just do it everyone does although it was wrong my reputation and pride took over as always with a little convincing of the shaytan it certinly beat me.

but then again im old and ugly enough to know what i have done i could of stoped it and im not about to blame that friend of mine as i hold full responsibilty for my actions.

just to add to what others have said:
1. quit your job

2. ditch your "friend"...just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't make it anymore correct. if everyone jumped off a cliff, then i guess you would deem it right to jump if a cliff as well.

3. doesn't matter how good looking/tempting someone is, how you react is a completely different issue. you are responsible for your own actions. YOU alone will be asked about them

4. lower your gaze-ALWAYS!!!

5. keep renewing your iman and keep yourself busy by reading/listening to Islamic lectures so that you don't fall into the "its ok, everyone else does it" psychology. read about what the torture the sahabi's (radhiallahu anhum)/the prophet (sallahu aleyhi wa sallam) has to go through in the early days of islam and yet that didnt even shake their iman in the least! take inspiration from those who have come before you and suffered at the hands of their enemies<---when the going gets tough, the tough get going!

6. fear Allah so that he can make a way for you---> do something for Him, and He will do something for you.

 

[ryaan]

thank you all for your help and comments and inshala i wont come back on here and have the same problem, you all have been very helpful and honest and i appretiate it.

jazakem allah keir