I can't stop thinking about my ex husband

[anonymous]

asalamu aleykum

I got married 3 years ago to my husband and have a 2 year old son with him. we had problems in our marriage mainly due to inlaws because i lived with them. also i never used to clean or help around the house much. in saying that, i really loved my husband and he also loved me.

whenever my husband would fight with me, he would give me talaq. he gave me talaq when my son was 2 months for not helping around the house. we got together with a new marriage contract. he gave me a second talaq and he gave me the third talaq after i shouted at him during a fight.

we both still love each other and regret getting divorced over issues that can be easily solved. now im a single mother raising my child which i feel sorry for. i cant stop thinking about my ex husband and wish we didnt get divorced over minor things. i regret my life and feel depressed about destroying the home and my childs life. my ex sees our son regularly and i cant stop thinking about him and wish i could get back to him. any advice?

 

[greenhill]

I hear this thing where you are forbidden to marry him after the third talaq unless . . . . you have married and divorced another man. . . I grew up believing this. It makes sense so that you really consider before speaking out the talaq. Because if you take it lightly and say it over trivial things this where you end up.

That aside, is there a way you could say what you feel to him? What would you do better from what you have learnt?

Hope it works out for you.


eace:

 

[aaj]

That aside, is there a way you could say what you feel to him? What would you do better from what you have learnt?

why should she say to him what she feels? she is a stranger to him like any other man. These are things in life that are learnt too late when you are rash in your actions and also don't go to counseling or elders and think you know it all. This is as much his fault as hers, this is not a game to be throwing the word 'talaq' around so carelessly. Allah made marriage a sacred bond. The whole point of her marrying someone else first and getting a divorce and then coming back to him is so they know they can't break up and get back together whenever they please like the kuffars do. And that marriage to the 2nd person also has to be a genuine marriage where you put your 100% in to make it work. IF it doesn't work and you end up getting divorce only then can the old ex come back and marry again. Marrying someone else for sake of getting with the old ex is not a loophole.

OP: I guess you should take this as a hard learned lesson and work on things that made your marriage fail. Such as, how to take care of a house, cook, clean, control any temper issues, rights of husband/right/inlaws, etc. Even if you were to go back to him, regrets is not enough to make that marriage last. You need to change yourself and become a better person and home maker and he needs to become better himself, or he'll be throwing that word around carelessly again.

 

[azc]

You not forgetting him is obvious but try to concentrate on your life and bringing up your child. If you can see a suitable person who can be your husband then marry.

 

[Muslim_girl3563]

I shouted many times on my husband and also I'm not very interested in being a traditional housewife. Me and my husband fight sometimes, and I think its natural for husband wife to fight sometimes but why did your husband gave you talaq on such a small fight. I'm sorry but i hate men who say talaq at every little thing.