sevgi
IB Expert
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Ok, my turn to vent.
I don't know what is wrong with me tonight. Well, it is actually 4am where I live. I can't seem to grasp what is happening inside me.
I was angry earlier, due to an annoying encounter on another forum which I joined a few days ago. See, I have little to no tolerance sometimes when people act silly. I like things to be professional and orderly...so when I got annoyed on the forum, the way the forum officials reacted just angered me further.
I did live another encounter which frustrated me...but these things don't seem to be the problem.
To tell you the truth, I didn't get any work done and I have probably been weeping for a good four hours.
It started when I thought of our prophet sallalahu alayhi wa sallam. I just thought about how I wish I could be someone who puts a smile on his face. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to make him smile..but I just feel disgusting lately. I feel like I have let him down...for the first time I just felt so grateful to him...if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have my faith...but still, I don't appreciate sincerely.
Then I started thinking about the poor kids in Palestine. We are from such opposite worlds and I'm such a spoilt piece of crap. They are a thousand times more deserved of what I have...Just those kids...I don't know. Those dads who cry because they can't provide for and protect their families.
I don't know. I'm being emo. I know this isn't healthy...but I can't seem to come in the way of it today.
Am I a bad person for sharing this? Gah. I don't know what the purpose of this post is. I guess I feel like something is wrong on a deeper note and I feel like getting something of my chest, even if it isn't the real issue.
