I don't want to live anymore

TheLostSoul said:
Why do such evil exist and because my ignorance I am losing my islam. I don't want doubt why does evil exist why do i have to suffer the pain of hell when I don't want to?
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About the evil.... evil exist simply because goodness exist. If only you had goodness in the world then with what would you compare the goodness!

As for why Allah does not stop the evil or stop the oppressor when he is oppressing someone or something, well ask yourself, why does not Allah cut your tongue when you abuse someone, why doesn't he make you paralyse when you are walking down to listen to a music, or going to some bad place. Why doesn't he stop your heart when even a single doubt about him, or any bad word about him come to your mouth? Freedom of choice is not a small thing my brother, all these things I mentioned above involves the choice of a human being.
All the massacre in earth, and killing, and bloodshed, all of it is brought because we have choice to do it! That is why we are never told in Quran that this world is perfect. Rather each one of us will be judged according to choices we made, and according to the circumstances we were born.
No person bears the burden of another person! But this rule for the judgement day. In this world, we do bear the consequences of the choices our forefathers made. Even many of the struggle we are seeing in middle east is one way or another is result choices our forefathers made!
That's why Quran says that what the bad falls upon you is because of what your own hands brought.
This is how the universe is made. Even angels knew the result of freedom of choice. Thats why they asked why do you create a being which will cause corruption.
Angels don't have free choice, that's why they don't have evil in them. But humans do, thats why human are given rank above angels.
In jannah, there is no evil, because it is the reward of choices we make in this world, and is therefore perfect, because no more tribulation (choices) just the reward :)
 
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I agree I brought this evil with my own hands [emoji20]. But I did wrong I agree with it but i just want this gone I just want Allah...but is my determination weak? Am I just a hypocrite? Is my heart sealed? Am I those who are astray I just don't know and I know Allah knows only. I just want to be good I admits my wrongs and my evil but im still being dragged down.
 
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I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell
 
TheLostSoul said:
I agree I brought this evil with my own hands [emoji20]. But I did wrong I agree with it but i just want this gone I just want Allah...but is my determination weak? Am I just a hypocrite? Is my heart sealed? Am I those who are astray I just don't know and I know Allah knows only. I just want to be good I admits my wrongs and my evil but in still being dragged down.
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You took it wrong what I said. I was explaining why there is evil in world. I did not mean anything what you did in past etc.
People told you before that the very fact you are feeling these things mean you are not hypocrite. A person whose heart is dead does not think the way you are thinking. They just don't care about evil or good.
No one of us is perfect, and neither we have any instrument to measure the iman. Even you, how do you know you are going down a wrong path? Or how do you know that your imaan is decreasing etc? Self doubt can also lead one to many evil itself!
 
TheLostSoul said:
I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell
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Well if you cannot live without Allah and Islam, then you should learn more about it, and perfect your knowledge and religion. :)
Killing oneself is not a solution to this problem. All of us have one time or another boost of imaan, while other we go through phase of low imaan. This is normal, even companions used to go through it. They just stick to following Prophet even during those phases :)
 
TheLostSoul said:
I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell
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But my dearest brother you are NOT a kaafir.
I understand an existence without Islam is a pointless existence.
And you have a fear that you will come to this view that "Islam is incorrect, so everything is incorrect."
Please don't give up and keep faith in Allah.
This is a test and a trying time, that is all.
Allah has not forsaken you nor forgotten you.
Keep at it, and InshaaAllah you will see this test will come to pass.

Imaan dips bruh. It is an unfortunate truth.
You remind me of the time Hanzalah RA ran through the streets worried that he had turned munaafiq (beautiful story by the way)
Anyway Ramadan is around the corner InshaaAllah.
InshaaAllah we will use this month to revitalize our dying hearts.

I strongly suggest watching videos and interview by reverts.
Seeibg reasons why people had come to realize the Truth of Islam is a good boost to remind us InshaaAllah
 
TheLostSoul said:
I'd rather kill myself than be a kafir or go to a different religion. My iman is dropping and if I fall into it then I will kill myself no question cause what is live without Islam and Allah well simple it's nothing it's just a life in hell
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Brother please relax, everything is okay! You'r suffering from too much doubts and that's what the shaitan wants. The devil wants to see us agonizing over our thoughts that is caused by the devil, so dont give in.

You will be alright, by the mercy of Allah. Keep the tongue busy with dhikr of Allah.
 
:salam:

Listen to this if you haven't already:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifllgTA2pmY

It speaks of why we suffer, why there is evil, why does Allah SWT let humans be so evil? why? etc.

I tell you what, Allah SWT gave us free will, Allah SWT gave us the ability to choose - choice. we can choose to be good and moral, to become the best of creation, or we can choose to do evil, and become worse than animals, despised and hated before Allah SWT.

btw, you focus TOO much on EVIL stuff. why is there evil? Why does Allah SWT let this evil happen? Man has been given free choice.

we can choose to be forgiving, merciful, understanding, kind, wise, knowledgable, etc. Or evil, merciless, unkind, harbringer of evil, etc.

whatever you do - know that Allah SWT created us to worship Him SWT, that includes Salah, but also being kind to the creation, etc.

We either become good or we stunt our growth.
Allah SWT already knows what you will do. But know that Allah SWT did NOT create you to TORTURE you. He SWT created you to worship Him SWT.

May Allah SWT forgive me if I said any wrong. Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.
 
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:sl: brother,

I have absolutely no idea what you're going through but,

I had the same thoughts

Same feelings, depression kicks in

Iman dropping and etc

But I held on to my faith, make Salah 5 time, wake up for the night Salah (Qiyam-ulail) and make dua consistently, Insha'Allah He will open doors for you. Greatest way is to have Gratitude to Allah, have Shukr towards Him, thank Him for the food that without it you will be hungry, thank Him for the water without it you will be thirsty, thank Him for the house that He gave you that shelters you from harm. These are Ni'mah(provisions) that we sometimes overlook but are crucial towards our survival as a human being. It just humbles us, it makes me shameful whenever I do a Sin when He had given me these blessings and also keep continuing giving it even if I repeatedly do such Sins. Just have gratitude, Insha'Allah you will be free from this undesirable feeling.

If you have money, go to an Islamic Bookstore and read 'Don't be Sad' by Dr Aid Al Qarni. Great book in dealing with anxiety, stress, depression and etc.

Soldier on bro!
 
I have realised my mistake. Nothing is going well because I'm going to far with over thinking and becoming depressed which is damaging me more and lowering my iman beyond rock bottom. So I want to be patient but how do I become patient? I am just a person who thinks way too much in general so I want to achieve something that I have never had before.
 
It's just waswas because this the raison of you heating yourself when you think like this
You just need to keep saying Allah , allahu rabbi la ushriku bihi shay'an .. which means Allah Allah is my god and I don't associate with him any thing
and say Huwa alawalu WA lakhiru WA dahiru WA lbatinu WA huwa bikulli shay'in alim and don't think about that because Allah won't Panish you with what you think without accepting I meant when you think and fear Allah from that bad thinking
be calm and say LA ilaha illa anta subhank inni kuntu mina dalimin as you can and : rabbi inni massani durru wagon anta arhamu rahimin
may Allah help you .. this is a test for you .. don't lose your self
 
I have thought of committing suicide many times. I feel like I'm useless and don't deserve to live. I feel depressed. I cry my self to sleep. But I remember "with every hardship comes ease". This life is like a roller coaster. It has it's ups and downs twists and turns but just remember Allah will always be there to pick you right back up when you fall. Brother remember the closer you are to Allah the stronger your iman. The stronger your iman the harder the trails become. Hold on tight and have patience and inshallah You will be rewarded jannah in return. Allah counts every single tear you shed.

https://youtu.be/kNM7WoSPCPk
 
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update..
Well a lot of things changed yesterday was pretty much the best day ever I felt sincerity in every word and felt no doubts coming from them. This made me realise that I shouldn't be panicking and should keep a calm and stable mind and further my knowledge since watching lectures I have gotten a better understanding on how to behave. Now I am getting doubts again but not frequently I just ignore them now. It feels great that Allah has saved me from my repeated sinning and if I continue I'll surely become a better Muslims than before where doubts and evil thoughts will not even harm me anymore.
 
I don't want to die, but I have so many doubts, and I seem to project a view on Islam, that is not Islam.

Islam is peaceful, etc. But I view it as harsh, and a religion of war.
 
Serinity said:
I don't want to die, but I have so many doubts, and I seem to project a view on Islam, that is not Islam.

Islam is peaceful, etc. But I view it as harsh, and a religion of war.
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Islam was never a religion of war it's a religion of peace and from Allah however people are tying to ruin people's life by throwing all these evil words at our religion. Like I just seen a video on my YouTube feed that was something against Islam and saying it is false however I didn't pay attention and didn't watch it because it false information trying to but doubt into us. But I'll just say that keep calm and your views will change like inshallah it's just evil trying to ruin us. But we will be victorious and Allah will remove our doubts inshallah!
 
TheLostSoul said:
Islam was never a religion of war it's a religion of peace and from Allah however people are tying to ruin people's life by throwing all these evil words at our religion. Like I just seen a video on my YouTube feed that was something against Islam and saying it is false however I didn't pay attention and didn't watch it because it false information trying to but doubt into us. But I'll just say that keep calm and your views will change like inshallah it's just evil trying to ruin us. But we will be victorious and Allah will remove our doubts inshallah!
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I try, I feel despair tho. I think Allah SWT hates me.

And it is In shaa' Allah.
 
Serinity said:
I try, I feel despair tho. I think Allah SWT hates me.

And it is In shaa' Allah.
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I have the same problem and Allah doesn't hate you. I know despair sucks a lot it hurt a lot but we can do this. Healing takes a lot of time when you get damaged. It will just take some time and patience sometimes we have it sometimes we don't have patience but we just gotta wait and make dua and don't look at anything that might damage you more.
 
I feel like my panic is starting to come back. I felt so sincere and now I have been hit by a brick wall 17hours later. I really hate these doubts and kufr thoughts like my heart wants to activity go against Allah but I don't want that. Then when I say something my mind says the opposite or something negative repeatedly urgh. I hate these thoughts of mine
 
It's just I am worried. Like my head calls me a kafir but I am not and I just and I keep on thinking negativity and then I think I committed kufr. It feels like I have fallen back to square 1
 
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