Greetings and peace be with you Hanoka; and welcome to the forum;
None of us deserve salvation, we all sin, we could all do better. If any of us are granted salvation, it will because of the mercy and forgiveness of Allah, we must never loose hope in this. You might have another fifty years on Earth, most days can be a struggle with something in life, so you may well be facing these same questions in ten, twenty and fifty years time.
Just a thought, but if you were absolutely perfect now, you would have nothing to strive for.
Once, when his companions asked him: "O Messenger of Allah, what are the most excellent of actions?"
The beloved of Allah, Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam, replied:--
"To gladden the heart of human beings,
To feed the hungry,
To help the afflicted,
To lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and
To remove the sufferings of the injured." [Sahih Bukhari].
In the spirit of never giving up hope in the mercy of Allah.
Eric